How to pull yourself together: effective techniques and a psychologist's commentary. What to do in a difficult life situation

How to pull yourself together? Emotionality, laziness, procrastination are the processes that make a person look for ways to pull himself together and start acting. In cases where everything rests on the inability to control one's own emotional condition, motivation with negative consequences can help, one has only to imagine possible options development of events, as well as their significance and impact on life in the long term.

In an immediate situation of lack of control over overwhelming emotions, it helps to pull yourself together by turning to the physical aspect of feelings - pinching yourself, jumping, scrolling an object in your palms. When everything falls apart, and there is no way to continue activities and the ability to see new solutions - calm down the right way way out of the situation. You can breathe deeply to relieve excess adrenaline levels or rinse your hands. cold water, which helps to return from panic to feeling yourself.

In principle, emotional outbursts go out on their own over time, but the underlying reasons that make you not get up from the couch all day long, everyone repeating exactly the same way, do not pass so quickly. Often inaction, even in conditions requiring changes, is dictated by the lack of internal forces for any external changes, since they can be wasted on processes that are not visible externally (living through a trauma, overcoming a crisis,).

And another popular moment in the formation of inaction is the absence of true. Those. clean up, it seems like, you need to go to the physics and technical institute, and also change your wardrobe and move, but in fact, your parents, friends, spouses, whose desires you either took for your own, or succumbed to skillful. That's just the energy to perform such an unnecessary action of your personality will not appear, as well as motivation. Accordingly, before embarking on achievements, changes should test their plans for compliance with their picture of the world and relevance to the current state of affairs.

How to pull yourself together and start living in a new way?

The desire for a new life is born in the minds of many, acquiring various degrees of its scale and seriousness - someone wants to start running, and someone wants to get a divorce and go to the opposite continent. What unites people with such different goals is a similar emotional state of impossibility to get out of the usual pace and flow of actions, because in order to get tangible changes in one’s own life, it’s not enough just to want and visualize it, it’s worth figuring out how to pull yourself together and start acting.

A person is lazy (and this is what gave rise to all technological progress), and if everything is tolerably enough, it is unlikely to start changing something, most often the movements occur when something bad or crisis happens, forcing you to pull yourself together or reconsider your old life. The movement begins with a motivation that is born from a feeling of dissatisfaction, and in order to start jumping without waiting for the old life to collapse, the motivation of striving for something more is necessary. Those. you need to deceive your own psyche. By showing her a picture of what you aspire to and by making her not a dream, but the norm. Then there will be a feeling that the way it is now does not fit and there will be forces to move towards a new vision.

Once the direction is chosen and there is motivation, very specific tools for moving forward will be needed, since this new road, then the movement in simple and familiar ways will not work, which means you need to use the skill. Getting rid of bad habits is an excellent training of the will and a step towards the new. Propaganda healthy lifestyle living with calls to stop drinking, smoking and going to clubs is, of course, wonderful, and if these activities prevent you from rebuilding your own life in a new direction, then get rid of these behaviors. But in addition to the replicated concept of bad habits, there are many others that are silent about. This includes exhausting work and the lack of quality rest, the habit of saving on oneself (food, cosmetics, medicines) has an extremely deplorable effect. The style of communication that destroys our lives is also a certain habit - when you break promises, when you cannot refuse a person to the detriment of your own interests, and even when you let another emotional vampire drain you to the brim - this does not speak of your kindness, but of that you are used to living like this, do not want or are afraid to resist. By starting to change with your character and interaction with the world, you can change your life from the inside and qualitatively, and not make it look like buying a new jacket.

Just getting rid of the excess, whether it be individual actions or entire rituals, is usually a very stressful process for the body, and the psyche does not tolerate emptiness. Therefore, not a simple exception will be more harmonious, but a replacement with something useful that will fit into your new aspirations. If you decide to lead more healthy life, then instead of quitting smoking, squat or do push-ups at those moments when you want to smoke. We thought to ourselves that it would be good to spend less time on social networks and get nobel prize- combine these globally different goals, and instead of evening scrolling through the tape, study the scientific literature.

Approximately, in this way, there should be an inclusion in new life. Because, without abandoning the old, there will simply be nowhere to insert the new, because your whole day is already busy with your usual affairs, and if you get rid of the unnecessary in one fell swoop, leaving an empty space, you risk returning to the old one, because all the freed time your thoughts will revolve around old patterns of behavior.

Standing on the threshold of a new life, it is good to have reinforced concrete confidence in the chosen path and its compliance with the aspirations of your soul, and not your friends, who would be comfortable seeing you in a new role. When choosing your strategies, do not listen to other people's negative opinions and advice to return everything as it was - this is a common reaction of society to personal metamorphoses, because when you change, you become uncomfortable for others, they have to either say goodbye or change with you. Usually people choose to simply drive a person back into the usual framework, where it is convenient for them to act, receiving their profits and manipulations.

Get rid of debts and projects that can remind you of your old life and drag you back. Before a new relationship, finalize the divorce, and before the device on new job, complete and transfer cases to the old one. Otherwise, pulling you for your own debts, people can destroy such a fragile new path in its beginning.

And from everyone's favorite, but far from obligatory and paramount point - change your appearance with a hairstyle or wardrobe, losing weight or gaining the missing kilos. Just let these external changes be a reflection of internal ones that have already occurred, otherwise they will look wild and imposed, in addition, not a single new shirt did not change fate on its own.

How to pull yourself together and find strength and confidence in yourself?

To get up and start acting, you need strength, to gather, you need strength, to find strength, you need strength. The circle closes in a lack of energy, confidence and fall, and the understanding of the need to act knocks like a woodpecker on the next wall. The impetus for the opportunity to do at least something, so that later you can be energized, can be the following recommendations, similar in their action to the resuscitation of a battery with a toad. Methods are emergency and short-term, they will not act regularly and give strength, but it is quite possible to use as a starting point when deadlines are running out.

With a decrease in confidence and self-esteem, when you feel bad, you have just been smeared with a skating rink of despair, but you need to pull yourself together and act, give yourself five to ten minutes to pity yourself. You can escalate the situation, cry, hug yourself, hide in a corner, lie on the floor - full space and maximum explosion but only during the allotted time. Part of the energy has already been released, because there is no need to restrain that huge flow of emotions, and besides, you have prevented its destructive action from within. After such an outburst, do something that will distract you from returning to the sad topic, but do not overload your brain and emotional sphere too much. Activities that focus on your physical sensations are good - take a contrast shower, walk barefoot, walk the streets with conscious presence, watching the smallest details of the world around you, let it turn from an accompanying background into an object of observation and interaction.

This technique will help you get a jump-start piece of energy to work on your further condition and increase your confidence. At the subsequent stages, you need to learn to control and stop your destructive thoughts when they acquire defeatist shades or rush along the path of winding up the situation and exaggerating the tragedy. Instead of analyzing your abilities and opportunity positive result- act. Even if you don’t win, spend the same amount of time and gain experience by learning from your own mistakes. Doubt can lead to failure, but instant action can lead to success.

Surround yourself with people who give support and approval, and if there are no such people in your environment, you can easily find them in volunteer projects, simply because they have nothing to give except praise, and people will be very grateful for your help. Do not try to compare yourself, let alone copy yourself - you won’t be able to be like others, and you may never know what is behind a person’s achievements.

How to pull yourself together and start losing weight?

The desire to lose weight is rampant, most plans for New Year and Monday are built around this achievement, and it seems that reaching certain kilograms is almost unbearable work. For many, despair sets in and motivation disappears when they do not see results, and someone is looking for magical workarounds so that they do not have to make sacrifices and efforts. The problem is that obesity as a medical diagnosis and the weight loss required for health is necessary for two percent of the entire losing weight. This is a trend and fashion, the pursuit of a picture in a magazine and a distorted perception of one's own body.

Before embarking on willpower training and forcing yourself to lose weight, it is worth examining whether the body and weight are the problem, because some lose weight to the point of refusing food when they stop working internal organs, bones glow, but a person perceives himself as complete. It's not to lose weight here, it's time to see a psychotherapist. Normally, the body responds to diets and training when there is excess mass, which means that if everything is at an impasse and there is no progress, then either there are problems in metabolism or in self-perception, and the body does not move below its norm.

Those who cannot even refuse cakes in favor of a treadmill can be advised to non-dramatically change their lifestyle, taking willpower in their hands and breaking themselves, and go with systematic changes. Start by switching to healthy eating, for example, replace cakes with fruit, and pizza with a piece of meat. You should read and master various anti-stress exercises - this is at the same time exercise stress in a gentle mode, unlike the fitness room, and getting rid of the habit of seizing stress.

Do not set yourself big changes in a short time, let this process be smoother - and the result is fixed for a longer time, and you get new look life, in which you will always be at a normal weight, instead of sudden jumps and constant efforts. The task is to change the perception and construction of life, to direct all choices in a healthier direction. Get rid of bad habits, gradually switch to a healthy diet, choose more active species recreation instead of TV.

Pamper and love yourself already at the weight you are now. No need to buy a beautiful dress, but two sizes smaller, and now walk around in a scary gray hoodie. Decorate and take care of yourself right now, this straightens the shoulders and the desire to please appears, the soul is filled with emotions, and the body with energy. A state similar to being in love normalizes weight by starting automatic processes in the body, so have an affair with yourself.

Because of medical error he has been walking on crutches since childhood, has undergone several surgeries and prolonged depression. But he pulled himself together: now Sergey is a candidate master of sports in bench press, he is striving to get on his feet and get into the Paralympic team.

1. Don't rely on other people's opinions

We need the approval of friends and relatives, their support, and this is completely normal. But anyway main man in your life is yourself. Remember the Kid from the cartoon about Carlson with his unforgettable phrase: “I can imagine what dad will say”? Do not do it this way.

Neither dad, nor mother, nor friends, and even more so conditional aunt Masha from the next front door, do not know what is best for you. We have only one life, and to live priceless moments with an eye on someone else's opinion is at least stupid. Don't be comfortable, be yourself.

2. Keep ideas to yourself

A positive response makes the brain think that the job has already been done, which means that there is no need to strain. Motivation will come to naught, and most likely, you will quickly abandon your undertakings. Do not relax, work and share results, not ephemeral projects.

Sergei Karnaukhov:

“I am often praised, but I don’t understand why - after all, even half of the planned has not been done! People encourage and support from the bottom of their hearts, but sometimes it leads astray: there is a certainty that you have already achieved a lot. It gets in the way if you are very self-critical and set high goals.”

3. Get your priorities right

Great is the temptation to start a new life on Monday, in one fell swoop to get rid of all bad habits, acquire good ones, become successful and productive. Unfortunately, this does not happen. Even small changes are stress and getting out of your comfort zone, what can we say about the whole bouquet?

Be realistic and start small.

For example, if you want to do exercises in the morning, then find the level of activity that you can maintain. long time without much stress. You should not get up an hour earlier and have a killer workout on an empty stomach - this will quickly exhaust an unusual person. A simple warm-up for 15-20 minutes, which you will do regularly, will bring much more benefit. After a while, a habit will form, and it will be possible to move on to more complex things.

4. Focus on the good, even if things don't work out.

We live in the age of social networks, and it's hard not to fall under the spell of polished instagrams with hundreds of likes. From the outside it seems that someone else's life is ideal, but you see only the tip of the iceberg. In fact, everyone has ups and downs, moments of weakness, when they give up and do not want to do anything.

In such cases, it is important not to focus on failures and think about the good. Remember why you started all this and what you want to get in the end, imagine a new you and move on.

5. Don't wait for the right moment

How many people lie on sofas waiting for motivation? This is a failed strategy: it is unlikely that an insight will suddenly descend on you and everything will work out by itself. The truth is, the perfect moment will never come. Something will always interfere with you: workload, problems in the family, financial difficulties, just the mood is not right.

Therefore, do not rely on chance and postpone everything until better times. Make a plan of action and follow it.

Sergei Karnaukhov:

“I have always dreamed of doing sports, but there is no gym in my village. From hopelessness, he began to go crazy, drank, smoked, ruffled the nerves of his loved ones, grew fat up to 200 kilograms, because he was sitting in four walls and did not expect anything. At some point, I realized that I should not spend money on nonsense, but save up for simulators. For about eight years, I saved small amounts and finally realized the dream.

6. Celebrate your victories

Many of us have been taught since childhood that it is indecent to brag about our achievements, and in general, everything could be done better. Did you get an A in a difficult subject? Why not five? Won second place in the Olympics? Could be the first. Of course, relatives were guided by good intentions and tried to inspire accomplishments, but this only discouraged them.

Therefore, do not skimp on kind words addressed to you.

Be sure to focus on even the smallest victories, celebrate your achievements and go to new level. You are great, you can.

7. Love what you do

Love at first sight in life is much less common than in books and films. It is likely that you will not be enthusiastic every minute, that sometimes you will have to force yourself to do something. Visible results will not come immediately, but do not give up and keep moving forward.

The fight against laziness will bear fruit, habits and a new way of thinking will gradually form. When you see the fruits of your efforts, you will feel at least satisfaction, and there it’s not far from love.

8. Try to monetize your work

Hobbies can become successful business, if you set such a goal. Do you weave brooches? Are you into photography? Do you cook cheese? Try to make sure that your activities bring income. Show the results of your work to friends and family, and if the product is worthy, word of mouth will turn on. And do not forget about new technologies, after all, the Internet provides many tools for promotion.

9. Learn to rest - this is very important

It seems that the more we do, the more we end up with. But this is not entirely true: the brain needs a discharge and a reboot. It is impossible to constantly be on the limit and act with full dedication, you need to be able to be distracted. If you do not replenish your strength and do not recover, you can quickly burn out.

10. Don't quit searching if you haven't found your business yet.

Surely you know that Vincent van Gogh came to painting only at the age of 27, and before that he worked in trading company and was a priest. Wassily Kandinsky, when he was already over 30, dramatically changed his life, left the legal profession and left Russia to study in Germany. And there are many such examples in the history of art (and in general in life).

Don't be afraid to try, don't be afraid to fail, don't be afraid to seek.

Sergei Karnaukhov:

“No matter how hard it is, never give up and go for your dreams! After all, if even a disabled person from the village could put himself in order and motivate other people, then what is stopping you? Do not postpone everything for later - you will regret the missed opportunities.

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How to pull yourself together, become happy and start living! Get yourself up before the whole world wakes up.

1. Force yourself to get up before the whole world wakes up. Start at 7:00, then at 6:00, and then at 5:30. Go to the nearest hill in a huge coat and meet the dawn.

2. Force yourself to go to bed earlier. Start at 23:00, then at 22:00, and then at all from 21:00. You will wake up in the morning with a new supply of energy and strength.

3. Get into the habit of making yourself a great breakfast. Fry tomatoes and mushrooms in oil with garlic, fry an egg, cut fresh avocado into slices and squeeze on it lemon juice. Sit down and eat everything and do nothing else.

4. Stretch.C first reach for the sky as much as possible, and then bend down to the toes. Rotate your head. Stretch your fingers, stretch everything.

5. Buy liter bottle water. First train yourself to drink it whole every day, and then try it twice a day.

6. Buy a beautiful diary and a black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner times, appointments, assignments, coffee appointments, and what you need to do in a day. No details are too few.

7. Take your sheets and underwear and run them into the washing machine. Add as much fabric softener as you can and start the car. Make your bed fresh.

8. Organize your room. fold all your clothes (and bags you don't need), clean your mirror, clean your laptop and mop the floor. Light beautiful candles.

9. Take a relaxing shower with your favorite music. Wash your hair, rub your body and brush your teeth. Spread lotion all over your body, get to know the skin between your toes, inner surface hips and with the back of the neck.

10. Force yourself to go for a walk. Take your headphones and go to the nearest park. Smile at passers-by walking the other way and be surprised how many smiles you get in return. Take your dog with you and watch its behavior, realize that you have something to learn from the dog.

11. Text your old friends your personal jokes. Remember. Invite them to meet, even if you haven't kept in touch for a long time. force yourself to keep in touch.

12. Think well about what interests you. Crimes? Sex? Boarding school? Long forgotten etiquette? Find a book about it and read it. There are books about everything in the world.

13. Become the person you would like to fall in love with. Let the cars converge in one line when they meet you on the way. Pay double the price for a parking space and sit in the car for an extra second. show your tongue to the kids.

Compliment people about them appearance. Challenge yourself to not make fun of anyone all day long.

Then two days, a week. Walk with a straight back. Look people in the eye, ask people for their stories, talk to strangers so they can become friends.

14. Lie under the sun. dream of the life that could have been if not for that failure. Open your eyes and take the first step to own this life.

Many people have such global periods in their lives when they want to say to themselves: "enough, it's time to pull yourself together." And it is important not only to say, but also to do it.

Very often, a person's problems are born from the fact that he cannot find himself in this life. If you have experienced this, try our Hidden Talents Quiz. Perhaps, in order to find motivation, you do not have enough of this.

Well, if you still don’t have the strength to take action, but you want to change your life for the better and control your destiny, and not passively go with the flow, try to be puzzled by motivation. It will help you take control of your own life.

It is worth getting together and pulling yourself together in order to start living a full life, and experience interesting emotions, earn more or fulfill a dream. Adversity is often caused by inaction and misguided or absent motivation. No one will ever succeed in love, work or sports without believing in themselves.

Step one: The right path begins with the recognition of the problem. If you were able to independently ask yourself the question: “Why am I not succeeding?”, Or: “Where can I go to find my dream?”, Or: “How can I transform my life?”, Then you have already set foot on the right path. If you are reading this article, you have chosen the right path.

Step two: believe in yourself. Tell yourself, "I can." You really can. We live in a world where there are no barriers to novelty, where any road can lead to unexpected successes. Just be aware of it - watch movies or read books about people who randomly did something incredible.

Step three: motivate yourself. Use affirmations. These are phrases specially designed by experts that can guide you along the path of positive thinking. Repeat them to yourself constantly so that over time they become part of your life. The best affirmations for every day were presented by us in one of the previous articles. Check them out and choose the one that suits you best.

Step four: Find something to do that will keep you interested. Lack of motivation often torments those who do not have a specific hobby or job. Do not try at all costs and do anything to occupy yourself in your free time. Find what you really want to do.

Step five: don't watch TV every evening. Information can be gleaned from the Internet when you need it, and television, even in the background, tends to clog your brain with extraneous things, such as advertising or shows, that can easily eat up an hour or two of your time.

Step six: getting rid of bad habits. This includes not only television, alcohol and cigarettes. You can add absolutely anything to this list that makes you addicted. This also allows you to remove television, cigarettes, etc. from the list of bad habits. If you need a TV to relax on a Saturday night, then it is quite harmless. Psychologically, smoking is bad if it distracts you and makes you addicted. A couple of cigarettes in the evening will not push you away from the cherished goal of starting to live correctly. In everything, moderation is important - this is how the advice of the sixth step will sound correctly.

Psychologists also advise you to go in for sports and constantly expand your horizons. Develop body and mind. Do not go to extremes. The best thing in our life is moderation, although often success comes only from excess. An important amendment - these excesses should be associated with your dream or with what you love with all your heart.