How to make yourself a social person. How to be more sociable? Ten Tips

Often attractive and endowed with natural charm, girls undeservedly remain forgotten in cheerful companies, sitting on the sidelines or in the shadow of more provocative girlfriends. They are modestly silent when they are asked questions, and are not able to tell a single funny story. « How to become a sociable person? How to stop being closed and become the soul of any company?”- girls often turn to us who have difficulty in communicating, and not only with strangers but even with those who are well known.

Let's say right away: it's not so easy, but nothing is impossible for a person with intellect! Having set himself the task of increasing sociability, that is, the ability to communicate with other people and quickly find mutual language, it is quite possible to achieve real result, you just need to want!

How to become sociable if you are afraid of people?

Some prefer, surrounded by the closest people, to sit inside their “mink” and not even try to stick their nose out. “Why do I need this?” they ask. For these people, the problem of sociability is not worth it, they simply do not need it.

For everyone else, the presence of friends, acquaintances, work colleagues is simply vital, and not just a presence, but daily communication, information exchange, life experience. Man is a creature that lives and interacts with others like himself, such is life.

One girl said: “I am afraid of people! In a store it is very difficult for me to even ask the price of a product, in a university auditorium I can’t even utter a word in front of my classmates under a lot of looks, and even to be the first to speak with a stranger, there can be no question!

When I began to find out the reason for such “human fear”, I found out that in the elementary grades at the children's matinee, she forgot her rhyme, stumbled and was ridiculed, not only by the kids from her group, but also by their parents. It was this episode that became the “anchor” that for a long time crossed out for the girl the opportunity to feel free among other people, constantly dragging her into the past. Gradually, we were able to rid her of her previous fears and fears of becoming funny, so everything is decided!

If so far you cannot independently determine what is the reason for your indecision in communication, you should definitely contact a professional psychologist. Believe me, often a few sessions are enough to completely change a person's life.

Why develop communication skills and become sociable?

Unfortunately, some individuals tend to go astray when they say, "I can live without associating with someone else!"

• If you work, your career is unthinkable without constantly being in contact with partners, colleagues, clients and many other people. The ability to most accurately formulate the right thoughts, express them without fear, find the required words in situations that require unforeseen or unusual solution is a sine qua non for your career progression to be successful.
• Winning the respect of the people around you in various situations is impossible without the fact that you have to defend your views and your point of view from time to time. For example, in conflict or contentious situations, one cannot do without expressing one's views and arguments, because this is how one can avoid both quarrels and conflicts. Be able to wrap your arguments in correct words, to prove one's case without affecting the interests of other people is very important in our troubled life.
• To be attractive to the opposite sex, to be an interesting conversationalist for men - this is another reason why many girls strive to increase their level of sociability. And this is right, because in communication you can get to know a person better, his personality traits and understand, finally, whether this is your soul mate or just a fellow traveler!

It happens that a person is already born with the talent of communication, even as a child he easily and willingly comes into contact with peers and even adults. But many learn this art all their lives. I hope that with our help you will succeed!

And lastly, remember that sociability can only be sincere and honest, if a person is hypocritical, likes to lie and strives to be in the center of attention by any means, believe me, hardly anyone will want to meet with such an interlocutor again. Be open, honest, remember that no two people are the same, everyone has their own “minuses” and their “pluses”. Learn to be patient with the shortcomings of other people, and then they will more often notice your virtues. Good luck!

The modern world is often unfair and cruel. People who are insecure and closed often remain outsiders. Especially the problem of communication is in youth. Guys and girls cannot find friends, defend their opinion, they are not interesting to their peers. How to become more sociable? You need to develop communication skills, fight with your own complexes, insecurity. At first glance, this task seems impossible. But if you approach the matter responsibly, perform special exercises and use the advice of psychologists, you can see the result in a couple of weeks - the interest and recognition of others.

Why am I so uncommunicative?

Many attribute their lack of sociability to banal complexes or insecurity. In fact, the problem is always deeper. Understanding yourself is not always easy. It is not very pleasant to remember, and even more so to recognize any negative facts. But it is extremely important to do this, otherwise all classes will resemble the fight against windmills. Most often, the lack of sociability hides:

What to do?

How to become a sociable and talkative person, the soul of any company? First of all, you need to get rid of uncertainty and start opening up to people, accepting yourself as you are.

There are no ideal people, everyone has positive and negative traits. There are things that people can fix, and there are things that they can't. You need to work on yourself, improve yourself, but do not avoid communicating with people.

Exercises

In our age, there are many methods and exercises to develop communication skills. If funds allow, it is better to go to group classes. But you can learn something on your own. We offer 3 exercises that will help you become a sociable person:

Author's advice. At the age of 15, I dreamed of becoming a sociable, talkative girl, but did not know how. All the time she was pinched and shy. A change of scenery helped me. We went with my parents to the sea and I met one girl, and then her whole company. I was just asking where you can go. Then the conversation started on its own. Having stayed at sea for 2 weeks, I got a huge experience of communication, I realized that I can be an interesting and cheerful conversationalist. Therefore, I can advise you to simply start talking to people, put aside your fear, and then it’s a matter of practice.

Becoming sociable is not so difficult, for this it is enough to start talking with others. Much harder not to pass for a bore or annoyance. To earn a reputation as an interesting, sociable and cheerful person, you need to heed the advice of psychologists:

Finally, I would like to give one more small, but very important advice. A sociable person makes no effort to strike up a conversation. He doesn't need patterns or rules. He enjoys communication. Therefore, all you need is to want to share opinions, useful and not so information with people. Good luck!

Irina, Vladivostok

Sociability is a quality that helps to get acquainted, keep up a conversation, convince someone, make friends, find a common language with other people.

In order to communicate, it is not necessary to love people, be an extrovert and philanthropist and always take the first step in a conversation.

We have prepared simple practical advice how to become a more sociable, charismatic and open person.

In the article we will show you how not to be afraid to “blurt out something wrong”, learn how to maintain a conversation without constantly glancing at the clock and not losing contact with friends.

What is communication and why is it needed?

"The only real luxury is the luxury human communication»

Antoine de Saint-Exupery once said. But what did he mean?

Sociability does not mean smiling at everyone you meet, but to the question: “How are you?” explain extensively the reasons for your ups and downs this week. A sociable person is not one who is happy to see everyone, chats with friends on the phone for three hours a day and instantly responds to every request.

Sociability is about something else: how to find the right word at the right moment, how sometimes to remain silent instead of the stream of consciousness, how to pick up the key to a specific person.

Communication, the ability to “make contact” and get people talking is an important development. Without it, it is difficult to make friends, negotiate and get to know each other. On the other hand, without communication it is difficult to express oneself: to defend a point of view in a conversation, to convey a thought to superiors or subordinates, to resolve conflicts, to write poetry. It’s not always silently uploading photos to Instagram.

Do not worry if you do not consider yourself sociable and liberated. These skills are not given to everyone “by nature”. Only this is not a reason to burrow into a hole, get acquainted only on the Internet and never utter a word in the presence of a stranger.

It remains to take life into your own hands and develop communication skills on your own, as an adult.

Source: iStock

How to develop sociability?

First, think: why? Do you find it difficult to meet men in a cafe, but are you a great speaker on the Internet? Do not find common themes even with old friends? Do you shut up in a group of people because you feel uncomfortable? Do you find it difficult to express your thoughts to colleagues?

Be sure to find your “sore spot”. If you are so easy to talk with friends, you do not need to focus on this aspect. Choose for “pumping” the aspect in which you do not feel confident.

We have prepared severalgeneral recommendations to start.

Stop being afraid of getting rejected

Don't start a conversation because you're afraid of being rejected? But without making any attempt, youexactlydon't chat. Maybe the other person is also worried, but from the outside it seems unsociable and withdrawn?

If you decide to develop, you need to step over yourself, overcoming the usual scenarios of behavior. For example, keep silent, walk past a nice stranger at a bus stop, ignore a compliment on the street.

Ask yourself the question: what will I lose if they refuse me? Nothing. BUT new experience and courage - you will gain.

Who knows how many times you've walked past the man of your dreams with your eyes downcast?

Control body language

Try to look more friendly. No need to cross your arms over your chest, bury your nose in looking at everything around and, even more so, at the phone.

A sullen face, frightened eyes and an attempt to hide behind accessories do not win anyone over.

When communicating with someone, whether it be a close friend or a salesperson in a store, discard the thoughts: “I want to be alone sooner.” People feel this mood and also close.

Feel free to talk about general topics

Someone will say: “Yes, this is talk about nothing ...”. But in the discussion of the weather, objects encountered and favorite films - the basis of communication. You will not approach a stranger with questions: “How many girls have you had and how do you feel about religion?”.

To get personal, you need to feel the interlocutor.

Ask open-ended questions

“Do you like cats?” is a bad question. “What are your favorite books?” is better. Giving a person the opportunity for a dry answer: “yes” or “no”, you drive yourself into a dead end.

On the other hand, if you see that the interlocutor is also embarrassed and asks closed questions, try to add a story or clarification to them. “Yes, I love cats, but more dogs. I dream of getting a Labrador…”

Show Interest

To make the conversation exciting, it is important not only to be interesting in communication, but also to show curiosity.After all, this is not an interview, but a dialogue.Share personal information, but also ask the interlocutor about him. Everyone likes to talk about themselves, it is only important to find “the very topics” that a person will “turn on”, and he will no longer be stopped :).

Learn Sign Language

What does the ability to read people have to do with how to become a sociable person? Immediate. Communication with words is only the first level. Then comes the non-verbal component: gestures, postures, facial expressions, facial expressions... All this sometimes speaks more and more expressively about the state of a person than his words... And it helps us to understand what the interlocutor is now set to.

For example, if a person says that he is doing great, but his back is stooped, there is no smile, his eyes are clouded - a reason to think. He must be hiding his condition. What for? To not appear weak? Or thus, on the contrary, asks for support?

Knowing what a person really has inside, you can adjust your actions. Do not press, do not ask too much, be gentler and kinder.

If you are walking, and the interlocutor keeps looking at the clock, then either he is not interested, or he is in a hurry or waiting for an important call. In this case, you can proactively offer to say goodbye - and no one will be worse off from this.

How to become a more sociable and interesting woman?

Meet in restaurants, be the first to invite on dates and maintain relationships with friends and family? Is it so difficult, and what recommendations will help you not to close at home, but to go out?

invite people

To the cinema, to the theater, to a poetry evening, to a party, to lunch, to a concert of your favorite band, home for tea .. There are a huge number of options.

It's hard to get close to a person if you're always in the same environment (like at work). Seeing each other in formal attire and listening to a business tone, you will not get to know each other better.

Call for a walk people whose company you enjoy. Arrange meetings in places that are unusual for you, perhaps it is there that new qualities of the interlocutor will appear, and friendship will be strengthened.

Source: iStock

Accept invitations

How many times have you turned down a walk because you were afraid that communication would not work? How many times, lying on the couch at home, did you say: “Sorry, I’m busy today”? How many times have you rejected offers from almost unknown men meet for coffee?

If you want to become more liberated in communication, it's time to learn how to accept invitations. Yes, it can be exciting. Maybe the date will actually turn out to be terrible. But there you will at least try, and in a month you won’t bite your elbows: “What if I missed my man? ..”

Remember important dates

For example, about birthdays. Every person is pleased if he is congratulated. Some even consider it one of the important symbols of friendship. You can give small gifts to acquaintances with whom you want to become closer. They won't forget! Maybe they will congratulate you in return. And then the relationship will start.

Listen to the interlocutor

If in a conversation you constantly interrupt, offer your advice and comments and lives, even if you were not asked, it will be unpleasant for the interlocutor.

Sometimes people share problems not to hear criticism and “how to”, but simply to speak out.

The closer you are with a person, the softer and more gentle you need to manage. Why? Because he opens up to you, telling sometimes painful and difficult situations. At this point, the interlocutor is vulnerable.

Alas, in our society it is believed that “relatives will endure much more,” and problems can be dumped on them. But try to abandon this stereotype, for the sake of relatives, friends and loved ones.

In communication, you do not need to pull the blanket over yourself. How to notice that you are doing it? Listen to your speech. Do you often hear the phrase: “And I ...”?

Spend less time on social media

The more time you spend on the Internet, meeting and corresponding with people you have never seen, the less resource (power, time) you have left for reality.

But in the end, before going to bed, a feeling of fullness comes only after real communication. Do you agree?

Feel the distance

Each person always shows how comfortable it is for him to communicate now. If he takes “closed poses”: folds his arms on his chest, crosses his legs, constantly holds some object, move away a little.

When communicating with people you barely know, feel your boundary - personal space - do not approach and do not let anyone in at a distance closer than 30-50 centimeters.

Appreciate loved ones

Tell your loved ones and friends how much you appreciate them. Hug, praise, compliment, help. People are always open to responsiveness, sincerity and love.

After all, don't you want the same warm attitude to yourself?

Develop as a person

To become more social and interesting personality need to be developed.

• Find a hobby that fires you up. It can always be discussed with the interlocutor.
• Read more books, news in the field you are interested in - technology, cinema, fashion, relationships.
• Expand your horizons. If you know that your new friend is interested in cars, also read a couple of articles at your leisure;).
• Develop wit and a sense of humor. It is not always necessary to be a serious and correct person!

conclusions

Sociability, emancipation, openness - depends on your development and intention. Become more self-confident, communicate with those who are congenial and pleasant to you, be less afraid of rejection or an unsuccessful meeting.

Mistakes happen to everyone, but negative experiences are also experiences.

Smile at people, try to be the best for yourself and take the first step more boldly! Everything will work out!

MENSBY

4.9

Sociable people arouse interest and sympathy, unlike closed ones. Outgoing people are more successful, have more friends, have no problems with girls, and are happier. How to stop being closed and become more sociable?

Some of us are shy by nature, while others are very friendly. Most people fall somewhere between "introverts" and "extroverts". No matter what your personality gravitates towards, it can easily allow social anxiety and lack of self-confidence to develop, separating you from the people around you. Luckily, you can change your mindset and break out of that shell!

1. Think positively

1.1 Understand the difference between being withdrawn and being shy. There's a difference between being an introvert and someone who's so shy that they can't even talk to anyone at a party. Introversion is a personality trait, it's what makes you happy and comfortable. Shyness is different, it comes from feeling fearful or anxious about interacting with other people. If you can identify whether you are an introvert or just a shy person, then it can help you break your shell.

As a rule, introverts do well when they are alone. They are "charged" by being alone. They enjoy interacting with people, but tend to prefer small groups and quiet gatherings rather than loud, big parties. If you feel happy and content when you are alone, then you may be a typical introvert.

Shyness can make you feel anxious about interacting with other people. Unlike introverts who enjoy being alone, shy people often want to connect more with others but are afraid to do so.

Studies have shown that shyness and introversion have very little in common - in other words, if you are shy, then this does not mean that you are an introvert, and vice versa, if you are an introvert, then this does not mean at all that you "hate people ".

1.2 Turn self-doubt into introspection. When you have the feeling that those around you are scrutinizing you, it is difficult to get out of your shell. But studies show that most of the time we ourselves play the role of our own judges, and others do not even notice those missteps that seem to us disastrous. Learn to examine your actions from the point of view of understanding and acceptance, and not from the point of view of criticism.

Self-doubt comes from feelings of shame and embarrassment. We worry that others judge us as harshly as we judge ourselves for our mistakes and failures.

For example, an insecure person might think, “I can't believe I said that. I looked like a complete idiot." This judgmental thought will do you no good in the future.

A person analyzing his actions may think: “Oh, I completely forgot the name of that person! We gotta work out a way for ourselves better memory names." This thought indicates that you have made some kind of mistake, but do not make it the end of the world. It also shows that you can learn and do things differently in the future.

1.3 Remember that no one looks at you as intently as you yourself. Those people who experience difficulties and cannot get out of their shell often suffer from the thought that others are watching their every move and waiting only for failure. If you are in a society, do you spend all your time tracking every movement of everyone who is in the room with you? Of course not - you are too busy with the things that are important to you. And guess what? Most are doing the same.

"Personalization" is common cognitive disorder in which a useless way of thinking becomes a habit. Personalization blames you for everything, even things that don't apply to you. This way of thinking can apply to you personally absolutely everything, even if you do not touch it in any way.

Learn to fight personalization by reminding yourself that it's not really about you. A colleague who doesn't wave back to you in a friendly way is not angry with you; she just didn't notice you, or she might have had a hard day, or she might have been busy with other things that you don't even know about. Being reminded that everyone has their own inner world of thoughts, feelings, needs, and desires will help you remember that most people are too busy to spend their time carefully watching you.

1.4 Fight thoughts of self-criticism. Perhaps you are afraid to come out of your shell because of the constant reminder to yourself that everything you do will only spoil the social situation. You can walk away thinking: “I was too quiet”, “The only comment I made was completely idiotic”, or “I think I offended so-and-so ...”. After all, we all make mistakes while in society, but we also act successfully. Instead of going crazy over all the worst things you might or might not have done, focus on the positive. Remind yourself that you were able to make others laugh, how genuinely glad they were to see you, or that you were able to celebrate some important moment.

"Filtering" is another common cognitive disorder. In doing so, you only focus on what went wrong and ignore what went well. This is a natural human trait.

Fight this filtering by focusing your attention on your achievements and being actively aware of what you are doing right. You can get a little notepad to carry around and write down all the good things that happen, no matter how small it may seem to you. You can even get account on Twitter or Instagram to capture those little moments.

When you find yourself mentally focusing on the negative, pull out your list of all the positive things and remind yourself how well you did it all. And what you are not particularly good at yet, you can learn!

Make a list of all the qualities that you are proud of in some way.

Nothing is too "minor" for this list! We often get into the habit of downplaying our own talents and accomplishments (another kind of cognitive impairment), assuming that everything we know isn't that great compared to someone else. But not everyone knows how to play the ukulele, or make the perfect omelet, or get the best deals. You should be proud of everything you can do.

1.6 Imagine your success. Before you get into someone's company, imagine that you walk into a room proudly and hold your head high, everyone around you is genuinely glad to see you, which makes their response to interaction with you positive. You don't have to imagine yourself in the spotlight (in fact, it might be the last thing you dream about!), but you do have to imagine what you want. This will help you achieve what you want.

There are two types of visualization, and you need to use both of them for the best results. With “outcome visualization,” you envision achieving your goal. Close your eyes and imagine how good and pleasant your next social outing will be. Imagine your body movements, words, gestures, as well as the positive reaction of people. Imagine how they smile at you, laugh at your jokes and are sincerely glad to talk with you.

With process visualization, you need to visualize the steps you need to take to reach your goal. For example, hypothetically for the future, what needs to be done to make communication easy and effortless? Prepare a few "secular" topics? Cheer yourself up ahead of time with a few positive reassurances? What actions will increase the likelihood of your success?

Visualization is essentially a psychological rehearsal. It allows you to "practice" a situation before you get into it. You can also identify potential obstacles and come up with ways to overcome them.

Visualization can help you reach your goals because it can actually trick your brain into thinking you've already done well.

2. Develop self-confidence

2.1 Achieve mastery. Another way to develop self-confidence and connect with people more easily is to learn something new. It can be anything from figure skating to literary description Italian cuisine. You don't have to be the best in the world at some activity; the most important thing is that you work on it and realize your successes. Mastering something will not only increase your self-confidence, it will also expand the list of topics that you can communicate with others, and it can also help you make new friends in this area.

If you're already good at something, great. Add this to the list of things that make you unique. Don't be afraid to try new things.

Also, learning new skills will help you keep your brain in good shape. When it is constantly loaded with new information and tasks, it becomes more flexible and adaptable, which is great for helping you get out of your shell.

Go to class! Whether it's yoga for beginners or Italian Cuisine Classes can be a great way to connect with other people who are also learning something new. You will be able to see that everyone makes mistakes along the way, and you will even be able to establish relationships with people who are interested in the same things as you.

2.2 Get out of your comfort zone. Staying in your shell can be convenient. You know what you're good at and you never have to do things that scare or make you feel uncomfortable. The bottom line is that being in your comfort zone completely kills creativity and curiosity. Doing things you haven't done before will make you come out of your shell.

Getting out of your comfort zone means that you are aware that there is fear and uncertainty, and if you feel them, then this is normal. You simply must not let these emotions stop you from exploring the world around you. If you take risks even when you are a little afraid, you will realize that it will become easier to do.

Psychologists have found that in order for a person to show more ingenuity, he needs to feel a little anxiety. If people are a little unsure about a situation, they work harder, which leads to higher productivity.

On the other hand, you don't want to try too hard and too often. Too much anxiety will make your brain stop working. So be patient with yourself and only occasionally push yourself a little harder.

This does not mean that you need to go skydiving if you are afraid to look out from the balcony of the second floor. But whether it's salsa, hiking or self-cooking sushi, make a promise to yourself that you will start acting outside your comfort zone.

2.3 Set "easy" goals. One way to slow yourself down in society is to expect immediate perfection. Instead, develop self-confidence by setting challenging but achievable goals. As your self-confidence grows, you will set more challenging goals for yourself.

Try to chat with someone at the meeting. If you imagine that you will find yourself in a situation where you will have to "welcome" and communicate with everyone, especially if you have just begun to get out of your shell, then this may be too much of a task. Instead, plan to hang out with just one person. It's absolutely doable! And when you do this, you can add this achievement to your "shelf of psychological success."

Look at other people who seem shy. You are not the only one in the world who has difficulty overcoming isolation! At the next meeting, look around you and look for someone who is huddled in a corner or feeling uncomfortable. Come and meet. Maybe it will inspire another person to come out of their shell.

2.4 The possibility of making mistakes should be accepted. Not every interaction will go the way you expect. Not everyone will respond well to your attempts at rapprochement. Sometimes what you say will fail. This is fine! Accepting uncertainty and outcomes that aren't what you intended will help you stay open to connecting with others.

Turning failures or difficulties into learning experiences can also help keep you from seeing it (or yourself) as a "failure." When we mistakenly think we're failures, we lose the will to keep trying, so what's the use? Instead, look for what you can learn from each situation, even if it was awkward or didn't go as you hoped.

For example, you could try to meet someone and strike up a conversation at a party, but that person was not interested in the conversation and left. Sad, but you know what? It's not a failure; this is not a real mistake, especially since you had the tenacity and courage to do it. You can also learn something new from such cases, for example, signs that someone is not interested in talking at that moment, and realize that you are not to blame for other people's actions.

When you feel uncomfortable about something, remember that everyone makes mistakes. Maybe you've asked someone how their girlfriend is doing, even though everyone knows that she dumped him a few weeks ago. Maybe you realized that you talk too much about your childhood passions for ferrets. It's all right - we all do it. The important thing is that you failed, but did not give up. Don't let one mistake made in society keep you from trying in the future.

3. Become more sociable

3.1 Position yourself as a friendly person. Showing other people's interest in talking to you is one part of the process of getting a person out of their shell. You may be surprised to hear that people, because you are too shy and afraid to even think that others will give you a positive assessment, think of you as an arrogant or impolite person. This can be changed today. IN next time When someone approaches you or starts a conversation, give the person a big smile, stand up straight and square your shoulders, and then ask with keen interest how he or she is doing. If you are used to hiding in your shell, then this will require you to practice, but you can do it.

If you are shy, you can pretend to read a book or bent over your mobile, but this may make people think that you are too busy to communicate with them.

Even if you are shy, you can appear friendly and lively. Even if you don't talk much, nodding, maintaining eye contact, smiling at the appropriate moments, and general form, which speaks of your satisfaction with yourself, will work as signs of an “active listener”. Being an active listener helps people feel that you are interested and involved in the conversation. If you just back up and study the floor, then people may even forget you are there.

Try to repeat a few key points from the conversation as a basis for your own participation. This will not only show that you are listening, but will also help other people feel understood. For example, if you are listening to someone talk about their trip to India, you might say something like, “That sounds so magical! I've never been to India, but I went to Indiana once."

If you find it difficult to talk about yourself at such moments, then you can use this tactic until you feel more comfortable talking about yourself.

3.2 Ask people open-ended questions. Once you have started a conversation with a person, it is best to ask a few simple questions about himself, his plans or the topic with which the conversation began. Questions are considered an easier form of social interaction, as you can talk little about yourself, but show your interest and keep the conversation going. You don't need to bombard your interlocutor with questions or look like a detective, which will make him feel embarrassed; just ask a friendly question when there is a pause in the conversation.

Obviously, shy people have a harder time just opening up and talking about themselves. This good way to start.

Some examples of open-ended questions are: "Where did you find such an amazing T-shirt?" or “What is your favorite book and why?” or “Where is the place where they make the best coffee?”

3.3 Start talking about yourself. Once you start to feel more comfortable talking to, or even with, your friends, you can gradually open up to them. Of course, we are not talking about the fact that you have to reveal all your innermost secrets from the very beginning, but gradually, little by little, you will start to tell something. Relax. Tell funny story about one of your teachers. Show people a cute picture of Cupcake, your pet rabbit. If someone talks about their trip to Las Vegas, talk about the ridiculous trip there with your family. The key is baby steps.

You may even begin to open up with words like, “Me too” or “I understand you. One day I…” when people share their experiences.

Even by telling stupid jokes or small details, you will more and more get out of your shell. When people around you show a positive reaction to your words, it will be easier for you to open up more and more.

You don't have to share anything first. Wait for a few more people to do it.

Both complete isolation and excessive talkativeness about oneself may seem impolite. If a person shares a lot of things with you, and you can only answer “Uh-huh ...”, then this person may be offended that you, apparently, are embarrassed to listen to other people. Even "Me too!" helps others feel more connected to you.

Use first names when talking to new people. This will make them feel like they are important to you.

Use hints to start a conversation. If the person is wearing a baseball cap, you might ask them what their favorite team is or how they became a fan of the sport.

You can make a simple statement after the question. For example, you can say: “Imagine, because of the rain, I stayed at home all weekend. Helped my mother with a lot of things. And you? Did you do something more interesting?

3.5 Learn to read people. Reading people is a social skill that will help you have a better conversation and get out of your shell. Capturing the state of the interlocutor - whether he is excited and ready to talk or distracted by something, or just in a bad mood, can help you guess what topic to talk about or not to talk to this person at all in this moment.

It is also important to understand psychological behavior groups; Does a group of people understand jokes only within their own and hardly accept strangers, or do people claim something? This can help you figure out how to put yourself with them.

If someone is smiling and walking leisurely with no apparent purpose, then yes, this person will be more inclined to talk to you than those who are nervous, furiously flipping through text messages on their phone, or walking at a speed of 2 km per minute.

3.6 Focus on the moment. When you talk to people, focus on what is happening: the topic of the conversation, the facial expression of the interlocutor, who is participating in the conversation, and so on. Don't worry about what you said 5 minutes ago or what you'll say in the next 5 minutes when you get a chance to comment. Remember the part of the article about getting rid of self-doubt? Also, this applies not only to your daily thoughts, but especially to your way of thinking while speaking.

If you are too busy caring about everything you have said or will say, then most likely you will spend less attention conversation and participate less in it. If you are distracted or nervous, other people may be talking.

If you find yourself really distracted or nervous about a conversation, count your breaths in and out until you get to 10 or 20 (without losing the thread of the conversation, of course!). This will force you to be more aware of the moment and less concerned with other details.

4. Seek acceptance

4.1 Start saying yes and stop making excuses. If you want to get used to getting out of your shell, then it will not be enough to just improve in the social game at the moment. You need to develop the habit of interacting with other people, attending new events and being active in public life. You may say no to all of this out of fear of socializing, not wanting to feel uncomfortable being around people you don't know, or because you're more comfortable being alone than with others. . Well, as of today, these excuses must stop.

The next time someone asks you for something, ask yourself - are you saying "no" not because of a good reason, but because of fear or laziness? If fear is holding you, then no “no” and go!

You don't have to say "yes" to an offer from a girl you don't know to go to a "bug lovers" club or to agree to absolutely everything that is offered to you. Just make it your goal to say “yes” more often. You can do it.

4.2 Make more invitations. Part of your coming out of your shell is not only accepting the actions of others, but also your own planning. If you want to be seen as more sociable, then you should become someone who occasionally invites people to his place. Even if you're just inviting over pizza and watching Scandal, or inviting a class friend over for coffee, you'll be talked about as a friendly person.

Of course, the fear of rejection may increase again. People may refuse, but it is most likely because they are busy.
Plus, if you invite to your place, then people are likely to invite you to their place in return.

4.3 Understand that you cannot completely change. If you are extremely shy, an introvert, then yes, it is unlikely that in a month you will turn into a talker. Introverts can't truly turn into extroverts, especially in a short amount of time, but they can definitely change their behavior and attitude. Plus, you don't have to be the most extroverted or the friendliest in the class in order to come out of your shell and bring out your best qualities.

So don't be discouraged if you can't bring yourself to start dancing on the tables and charm everyone you see. You may not want this anyway.

4.4 Don't forget to "reload". If you are a typical introvert, then you need time to re-energize after social interaction, or just because. Typical extroverts are energized by other people, while introverts actually expend energy in communication. And if your batteries are dead, then you need recharging, just a few hours to be alone.

While you can tighten up your social schedule, never forget to include "personal time" in it from time to time, even if it seems difficult.

4.5 Find your people. Face the truth. At the end of the day, you may never have been able to crawl out of your shell and become a total stranger. However, as you get more comfortable getting out of your shell, you can find those people who will really be "yours" and make you feel even better. Perhaps it will be a company of 5 of your close friends with whom you really relax, sing like an idiot and dance the Macarena. But this core company can help you become more outgoing in public as well.

Finding your company will help you feel more comfortable, gain confidence and, in the long run, stop being introverted. And what could be better?

4.6 Become stronger than discomfort. If you're having trouble getting out of your shell, it may be because of your habit of leaving the room when you feel uncomfortable. If you find yourself in a social situation where you don't know many people around you, don't actively participate in the situation, or feel out of place, then you can leave by apologizing for your early care, or just quietly disappear. Well, no more quitting when things get hard for you - instead, dive into your discomfort and you'll see that it's not as bad as you think.

The more you get used to feeling out of place, the less you'll worry about it later. Just take a deep breath, tell yourself it's not the end of the world, and find a way to strike up a conversation, or just pretend you're having a great time.

People don't recognize you as a person unless they talk to you! If you look pleasant and presentable, then others will be more comfortable next to you! Smile!

Everyone has experienced communication difficulties. Every day we communicate with dozens of people. Each of them has their own interests, opinions and habits that differ from yours. When communicating, you have to adapt to the characteristics and character of the interlocutor. Indeed, it is difficult to find a common language with everyone, some are even difficult to understand. And it is absolutely impossible to find a common language with strangers always. So, if you are experiencing this kind of difficulty, do not despair. This is a fairly common problem and there are simple ways her decisions.

Why do we need communication?

Becoming more confident and sociable is an important task. As a result of careful psychological research, it was found that mental and physical health depends on communication. Conversation with interesting person lifts the mood. And those who feel like part of a team are happier, get sick less often, and are less prone to stress.

People whose social circle is limited to family and a few colleagues often feel lethargic and apathetic. It is difficult for them to succeed in any kind of activity, they are less likely to decide on cardinal changes. Women who refuse to work and communicate after the birth of a child, which is why they feel irritability and dissatisfaction. The same goes for people who have lost their jobs. The restriction of social contacts also affects the appearance.

Watching over successful people you can see how easily they make acquaintances and keep up the conversation. For them, the opinion of others is important, it is important to be an interesting conversationalist. To become a more sociable person means to develop in other areas.

When difficulties arise and how to overcome them

Difficulties in communication can be intermittent or permanent. In the first case, we are talking about difficult, unpleasant conversations, attempts to join a new team, etc. In the second case, we can talk about excessive isolation or lack of communication skills. It is easier to deal with occasional difficulties. Sometimes it’s enough just to tune in yourself or give the interlocutor time for the same.

To overcome permanent communication difficulties, you will have to make an effort. To become a more sociable person, you need to observe yourself for some time and remember the reaction of others.

Remember, becoming more sociable is not just a desire, but a vital necessity. Only having the opportunity to fully communicate, you can succeed and learn to enjoy life. Therefore, do not delay, start following the tips given in the article immediately!