Conscious relationship between a man and a woman. Secrets of a warm relationship

When the romance is just beginning, the partners are in a state of euphoria. However, it is gradually coming to an end. This does not mean that feelings cease, just their emotional coloring fades: enthusiasm and awe are replaced by unconditional acceptance, mutual respect, calmness and harmony. It is important to know the stages of relationship development.

About the stages of the relationship between a man and a woman

Psychology describes the stages of love in a relationship from falling in love to a feeling that has been tested over the years.

Love

Relationships start with falling in love. At this stage, the young man beautifully looks after the girl, renders signs of attention. Partners attach great importance to meetings and carefully prepare for them. At this stage, lovers try to hide their negative character traits as much as possible.

Interesting. The stage of falling in love can last a little over a year, after which it is replaced by the stage of uncertainty.

Stage of uncertainty

This stage of relationship development is characterized by doubt and reflection. After hot sex, he considers the prospects for a joint future with this woman.

Separation of a man can lead to a temporary separation. Girls don't understand what's wrong in a relationship. It often happens that a girl regards the behavior of a man as the end of the novel. In desperation, she begins to annoy the man with capricious calls, angry text messages. Such behavior disgusts the young man.

It is important for a woman to understand that male psychology is different from female psychology, there is no need to draw hasty conclusions, it is necessary to endure this pause. This time is necessary for a man to listen to himself and decide whether he is ready to take responsibility for a joint future with this particular woman.

Jealousy

After the guy has decided to tie himself to a woman with a love bond, the woman develops distrust. More recently, a man disappeared, did not answer SMS and rarely called, today he is again on her doorstep, and even with a bouquet. How can you not suspect him of treason?

Scenes of jealousy make a man prove his interest in a woman and refute the accusation of treason. Words are reinforced by kisses, hugs, intimacy. However, it takes time to build trust, female jealousy makes a guy doubt his partner's fidelity. Therefore, for 3-6 months, lovers arrange checks on their partner, stealthily read correspondence and monitor pages on social networks.

It should be noted! Female jealousy, which is playful in nature, turns on a man. He likes the game of proving feelings, he enjoys conquering an impregnable woman. He feels like a hero, a winner. Such scenes of jealousy often end in sex - a man likes such an ending.

However, not all women have enough wisdom for playful jealousy. Some impulsive persons throw real tantrums, do not want to listen to any arguments from a man, cry, break dishes. Such outbursts frighten the guy and force him to reconsider his plans for this girl.

It should be remembered! Jealousy is not proof of love. Most often, people who are emotionally dependent on a partner are jealous. It usually turns him off. To take relationships to the next level, you need to show your self-sufficiency and joy in life.

Tolerance

The period of mutual distrust and jealousy ends with the stage of tolerance.

This stage of the relationship between a woman and a man is characterized by harmony. Partners stop getting emotional and proving something. Now they are capable of a compromise solution to any issues.

Analyzing the relationship, the guy and the girl come to the conclusion that they are good together, because they are different. They perfectly complement each other, forming a harmonious pair.

Important! A woman can help a man come to that conclusion. A wise woman will make a man think that this is his merit.

Acceptance of a person

At this stage of love in psychology, it is assumed that partners accept the chosen ones as they are. Having come to terms with the shortcomings of a loved one and leaving all attempts to remake a partner, a man and a woman will learn to appreciate the individuality and originality of the chosen one.

Interesting fact. As soon as a person is no longer reminded daily of his shortcomings and weaknesses, he immediately has a desire to develop and fight his shortcomings.

Sympathy, respect and friendship

A tolerant attitude and unconditional love give rise to long-term sympathy, mutual respect and the ability to be, in addition to lovers, also friends. The participants of the couple like the company of a loved one, he is interesting to them as a person, as a representative of a particular profession.

The need for reciprocal psychological stroking disappears: by doing something pleasant for a loved one, lovers do not expect reciprocal gratitude. They care about their loved one because they appreciate and respect him. The happiness of one is determined by the state of happiness of the other.

Interesting. According to foreign psychologists, the phase of friendship in a love relationship marks a high level of intimacy, which is not available to all couples.

This is the highest degree of evolution of relations. As a rule, spouses over 30 years old come to her. By this time, they already have a rich common past, where there were different situations. Perhaps in their love story there were serious quarrels and temporary separations. The fact that they saved the marriage speaks of the psychological maturity of this couple.

If the relationship stopped at one of the stages

Stops in the development of relationships happen for various reasons. "Sticking" can occur at any of the initial stages. This is due to the partner's lack of psychological readiness for a more serious relationship.

Sometimes a man and a woman meet for a long time, stay overnight with a partner, but the issue of cohabitation is not raised. As a rule, there are logical explanations for this:

• Housing issue. If both adults live with their parents, then moving to him or her will embarrass close relatives. It is not always possible to rent or buy your own housing due to financial problems.
• Many are afraid of independent housekeeping, they are afraid to get into debt.
• The need for personal space. If a person lived alone for a long time, he got used to his habits and his order. He is afraid that the usual foundation will be violated, that the territory will have to be divided.

Is it possible to accelerate the development of relations

Advice. If the relationship is frozen in its development, do not jump to conclusions. It is better to try to bring novelty to them.

However, there is no need to rush things. The thirst for a speedy marriage usually ends in the search for a new love. Everything must happen in its own time. Jumping one of the stages in the development of relationships with almost a 100% guarantee will lead to the completion of the novel.

How to understand that love has arisen

The signs of love are:

• Interest in a partner as a person, and not just as an object of sexual satisfaction.
• Tolerance for the shortcomings of a partner. Sincerely loving people will not constantly point out to a partner his weaknesses.
• The manifestation of tenderness and care in a relationship, even after several years of marriage.
• The desire of partners to improve themselves and delight a life partner.
• Forced separation increases the desire to be with this person.

Important! Love gives a person a lot of positive emotions. Therefore, the stages of love in psychology should naturally change. It is better to enjoy every new day. This is the only true path to happiness.

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Ask a psychologist a question

Now I want to separately consider two situations: the cold in the relationship from the very beginning - situation 1 and the cold in the relationship appeared after a while, although at first everything was warm, light and cool - situation 2.



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Situation 1 or "Tell me how he/she really feels about me?"

I often receive emails describing something like this: a girl met a guy, she liked him, he seemed to like her too, they started talking on social networks, went on a date and .... continued to chat on social networks. A week or two passes, again a date and sex, the girl is happy, but she rejoices "quietly" so that she does not "think something superfluous." And the guy ... again, as if nothing had happened, communicates quite on a friendly note in social networks and lives his life on. At the same time, he can say that he was fine and the girl was interesting to him. And the girl has already fallen head over heels in love and is racking her brains from this strange behavior of such a distant and at the same time close guy. Why is his figure in her head growing and growing in its significance, and now her hobbies, work, friends can gradually fade into the background ... And we almost already have a situation from which it is very painful and unpleasant to get out of it every time.

What is the main "bug" here?

There are many stereotypes about how a woman and a man should behave in a relationship - how should they confess their feelings, who should call whom first and when, the “three dates” rule and many more similar stereotypes that depersonalize the individual beauty of relationships, liveliness and sincerity of feelings in them. Our upbringing, culture and mass media declare in every possible way: a woman cannot take the initiative and tell a man directly about her feelings - the intrigue will go away. I believe that because of this stereotype, many women, being “hot” inside, remain “cold” on the outside. And a man, on the contrary, should be ignited from a woman, from her energy, sensuality and openness. And when it comes to restraining one’s feelings and not “hanging” around a man’s neck, I think it means not so much the taboo on feelings itself, but on the form of their presentation. A lot depends on the form in which we present our feelings and thoughts.



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Compare:

Option A

I think you are a very interesting and attractive man. I would be glad to spend more than one evening with someone like you ... - Explanation: a woman talks about her thoughts and feelings in relation to a man and does not demand anything from him. In addition, it does not show that his figure in her field has already become incredibly large, thereby making it clear that this is no longer about falling in love, but about real addiction, which strains any person.

Option B

“I only think about you all the time!” Why didn't you call yesterday? We are fine? - A woman talks about her thoughts and feelings to a man, while showing not an emotion of interest, but rather a state of obsession. In addition, he throws him a question in a demanding and accusatory form, after which he demands that he dot the i's in the relationship and take responsibility. Result: the man runs away immediately or gradually.

There is also option B - the most common

Woman: Hello! How are you there?

Man: Okay, but a lot of work. And how are you?

Woman: Everything is fine. Well, I won't digress.

Explanation: everything seems to be quite environmentally friendly, the woman does not “take out the brain” with accusations, but also retains intrigue and does not say what she only thinks about this man. Result: dry correspondence, where neither the man's interest increases nor his attitude to the woman is clarified.

Situation 2 - "How to return old feelings in a relationship?"

They fell in love, started dating, everything was fine up to a certain point, until ... she began to notice that he was "". (Most often, women are the first to notice a cooling in a relationship, as they are more sensitive and less able to withstand the average range of feelings in a relationship, when everything is “exactly” or “no way.” But this is far from a rule and not an axiom)



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What can be done? How to revive relationships and return warmth to them?

It is often difficult to talk about something unpleasant, about what offends or angers, and this seems to be understandable - no one wants to conflict, be the initiator of a quarrel, “rock the boat”. But it often happens that it is difficult to express not only “bad” feelings, but also good ones. The difficulty may lie precisely in the fact that the accumulated negativity prevents you from giving free rein to the positive. Therefore, it is important to learn how to communicate your grievances, anger, anxiety, fears and other negative emotions that naturally arise in any relationship to your partner in a correct and environmentally friendly way. You can learn how to do this in an environmentally friendly way, so as not to destroy relationships, in consultations with a psychologist.

In addition, it can say negative experiences of past relationships or negative attitudes about relationships, for example, being in a relationship is “this is a trap.” And the influence can manifest itself both at the initial stage of the relationship, and at the stage of several months, when it comes to a person that he is really in a “relationship” and, therefore, to a certain extent, dependent. The main thing here is not to fall into pathology. It is possible to disassemble in the facets where a healthy dependence in a relationship ends and a pathological one begins.

Help yourself - self-help methods:

1. If you want to make your relationship with your partner warmer, do not rush things. This process is delicate, sometimes painful and difficult. It is important to achieve a certain level of trust and mutual comfort in a relationship in order to achieve this.



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2. Try to observe and listen to yourself and your feelings. Often they respond somehow in our body. Note the circumstances in which you have certain feelings. If they are directed towards a person, directly tell him about it, starting with "I ..."

3. When something nice is said to you, note how you react to it. What feelings arise? What are the sensations in the body? Try to linger in these feelings and sensations. Repeat these words inside yourself, assign them to yourself (“yes, I am like that”);

And of course, contact me for a consultation! I am always ready to help you understand the relationship and tell you how to add “fire” to an fading or even already “cold” relationship. Remember, nothing is impossible! For psychology, yes.

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Secrets of the psychology of a happy relationship between a man and a woman.

The problem of the relationship between a man and a woman is eternal. In almost 80% of cases, couples come to psychologists who do not findmutual understanding. In this article we will talk about building a harmonious relationship between a man and a woman from the point of view of psychology.

Development of relations between a man and a woman: psychology

Initially, we learn the rules of building a family, adopting the experience of loved ones. Usually these are our parents, who cannot always set the correct guideline and vector of relationships.

Development of relations between a man and a woman, psychology:

• With a high degree of probability, we can conclude that if the girl's father was an alcoholic, then most likely the partner will not be indifferent to alcohol. This is due to the fact that, in fact, the girl did not see other relationships, and does not know other men.
• In her understanding, almost all representatives of the stronger sex are alcoholics and not indifferent to alcohol. Even if a man is not like that, and is absolutely indifferent to alcohol, the girl still perceives him as a potential alcoholic. A man does not like this, he does not want to feel like he is not, and breaks off relations.
• Thus, like attracts like. What to do in this case? It is necessary to change your attitude towards the surrounding men, and not to build everyone in one phalanx, hanging certain clichés and labels.

Healthy relationships between a man and a woman: the psychology of the East

According to Eastern psychology, from the point of view of bioenergetics, a woman gives, and a man receives. This is the only way normal relationships are possible. Most women may not be satisfied with this interpretation, as they want to receive something in return, and are afraid to say goodbye to their energy.

Healthy relationships between a man and a woman, the psychology of the East:

• A woman at birth is full of sexual energy, which she can give to her family, husband, children. A man, on the contrary, is born empty, and needs to be filled with a woman.
• For this to happen, it is necessary that one side give, and free of charge. Most scandals and quarrels arise if a woman refuses to fill a man.
• In this case, even a good family man can seek comfort on the side. Therefore, according to Eastern esotericists, it is necessary for a woman to provide home comfort, take care of a man, saturating him with sexual energy.

What destroys relationships?

Now from TV screens, in any advertisement you can hear about how to build a happy relationship. In fact, the main task of such videos is to sell more of their own products. Therefore, the model of the family that is shown on television does not always correspond to ideals. Most often, such models are simply imposed on family people.

What destroys relationships:

• General family budget. As the experience of many families shows, a family may not have a common budget at all. The fact is that each of the family members should have their own finances in order to purchase gifts, afford to purchase some new clothes, even if not very expensive ones. It is best to build a family budget in shares and contributions . Each family member invests their money to cover certain types of necessary services and purchases. These include paying utility bills, a grocery basket in order to cook food. There are several other categories that family members should invest in that can be discussed. Part of the money remains with each participant and partner.
• From the TV screens we can see that a strong, good family- This the one that spends all the time together. Actually it doesn't work. You can fill your time with each other only at the initial stages. Usually, when people meet, they are interesting because they are independent, very peculiar. This is what allows people to get to know each other, and every day is full of surprises. When people live together for a long period of time, novelty goes away, everyday life appears. So that it does not become monotonous, boring, it is necessary to dilute it. To do this, it is necessary that everyone has their own personal space, and time that they can spend as they wish.
• Lack of self-development. People cease to be interesting to each other if they are not interesting to themselves. A person can be interested in the opposite sex only if he constantly develops.

The psychology of a good relationship between a man and a woman

Each of the partners should have some hobbies, their own hobby that helps them develop. It could be reading books, sports, or even beadwork. There is nothing wrong with that. A person must constantly be nourished by positive energy, this cannot be done if you are constantly with your partner.

Sooner or later people become uninteresting to each other. As practice shows, this period comes faster if the partners do not give each other freedom for a long period of time.There are several basic principles for building a happy relationship.

Psychology of good relations between a man and a woman:

• Respect. It is impossible to create a good atmosphere in the family if the partners do not respect each other. Views on life can be radically different, but at the same time a person must respect the choice of his partner and not impose his opinion on him.
• Confidence. You should not constantly pursue your partner, control him, look at the phone, pages on social networks and pester at any opportunity.
• We need to take care of each other. Even if you are very tired at work, it is still necessary to find a small amount of time in order to take care of your beloved.

The path to the altar: the secret to building relationships right

Lovers should not go to visit together all the time or spend weekends watching movies. Each of the participants can spend his own free time as he wants.

The path to the altar, the secret to building relationships:

• be cheerful. Of course, sometimes it is quite difficult, especially if the events in life are not very encouraging, but still it is necessary to enjoy life and thank her for every moment spent with your loved one. Indeed, if a person thinks positively, it affects relationships with the opposite sex and partner.
• Be sure to show your feelings. Feel free to once again confess your love or make some gifts. Constantly try to touch your loved one, hug him, and spend more time talking with your partner. It is necessary to feel the relationship between lovers.
• There is another interesting point with which psychologists argue among themselves. Many people think that spouses should definitely sleep together, in the same bed. Considering that in this way it brings them together. In fact, there are other studies that show that co-sleeping kills sex and the joy of it.
• It is believed that sexual relations become routine and uninteresting. Everything happens exactly the opposite, if spouses sleep separately, and come to the territory of another partner when they want intimacy. In this case, some courtship is visible, while sex becomes diverse and interesting, which brings novelty to the relationship.

Relationship Psychology: Secrets

What do you need to do to build a happy family relationship? The fact is that many women and men believe that after marriage, work on relationships ends. In fact, everything is just beginning. In order to save a marriage, it is necessary to work hard, not only for a woman, but also for a man. There are several tips, following which, you can save, improve relationships.

Relationship psychology, secrets:

• Don't make scandals. Indeed, girls can create a storm in a glass out of the blue. They like to inflate an elephant out of a fly, and even little things cause grandiose scandals. Try to be tolerant of your partner.
• Find time to connect with each other. Even if you are constantly working, you are at home only in the evenings, this is not a reason to refuse to communicate with your other half. Be sure to take a few minutes to talk. It may be some family business that needs to be done. You can do them together and chat at the same time.
• Be sure to support your partner. Whatever business he does, the confidence of the second half gives interest, and also stimulates feats. Thus, a man becomes more impetuous and successful.

Psychology of relationships: women's secrets

Don't betray each other. It is essential to be faithful in the family. If you are not satisfied with sexual relations, be sure to talk to your partner and tell them what you would like.

Relationship psychology, women's secrets:

• Respect your partner even if his hobby is not suitable for you, or you consider it too extreme. In any case, you must respect your partner.
• Be sure to trust your lover. In no case do not equal other partners and acquaintances. Never compare your man with others, do not say: “But my friend Alena has an economic husband, he helps her, but you don’t.” Everyone has their own relationship, and such jokes only worsen mutual understanding between partners.
• Support a person even when he is feeling bad if something bad happened. People should be together not only in happiness, but also in sorrow. Support with a kind word and hug your man. Be sure to try in the bad, to see the good. They say that the situation cannot be changed, but you can change your attitude towards it. This is the opinion of psychologists.
• Very often there are scandals about the untidiness of a partner. Men like to leave mugs in the kitchen or scattered socks after themselves. Now think about whether you are flawless and always behave correctly. Most likely not, perhaps the man is simply turning a blind eye to your shortcomings.

Learn to listen to each other. You need to let your partner speak. This is more difficult for men than for women, so you must be able to listen to your lover. Try to constantly nurture the relationship. Emotional recharge is needed, as a joy, gift or surprise. Try to arrange surprises for your man, such as a family dinner or a romantic getaway.

VIDEO: The psychology of a happy relationship

Everyone will certainly have acquaintances, communication with which inspires, literally inhaling strength, the opposite is also familiar: there is a kind of relationship that weakens, internally devastates us. At the same time, any person, depending on the situation, is able to alternately both give energy to others and absorb it, in need of spiritual nourishment.

“Each of us is a potential vampire,” warns psychotherapist Christophe André. - It's in our nature - to expect a lot from another, to desire it all, entirely. However, with the experience of real relationships, we understand: with such a strategy, we are unlikely to keep another person next to us, because he suffers and therefore will avoid us.

It is useful to understand more clearly where energy comes from and what takes it away, how we support and infringe on loved ones, then it will become much easier to build harmonious relationships with them. Christophe Andre analyzes in detail the mechanisms of communication, vampiric properties and those that give us strength, feeding us with their living energy.

Who should you limit your contact with?

Vampiric relationships are easy to recognize by the breakdown that overtakes in communication with a person. They give nothing, emotionally unsettle us. It is easy to outline several portraits of such people, with whom it is worth communicating less often.

• Forever mourning. They are debilitating because their need for sympathy is immeasurable and we can neither fill it, nor even reduce its depth. They entrust us with the mission of saviors, even if we have neither the desire nor the ability to do so. At the same time, they deliberately doom her to failure, since in their hearts they are not at all inclined to accept our advice.
• Dependents. They constantly want confirmation of love and a good attitude towards them, they ask for advice in making the simplest decisions. Childishly clinging, they put us in the position of parents, putting a disproportionate burden of responsibility on our shoulders. And when we try to move away from this imposed role, we are overcome by a sense of guilt.
• Hypersensitive. Their excessive vulnerability forces them to be constantly on the alert. Since everything that happens in a relationship, they are ready to perceive in an unexpected way and interpret in their own way, sometimes writing the plot of a real drama. In response, we are forced to be in constant tension, controlling ourselves in everything.
• Conflicting. They are used to solving any problems through aggression, which, however, does not cost them the slightest effort, because conflict is the element of their existence. On the contrary, those to whom this aggression is directed are devastated by this type of relationship.
• Border trespassers. Their own role in relationships and the boundaries of personal space are always uncertain, and this forces other participants in communication to constantly “tune in”. Since the rules in such relationships are not clearly established, each involved in them involuntarily encroaches on the territory of the other.

Set boundaries

In a vampiric relationship, it is important to keep the right distance so as not to let yourself be pulled into an energy hole. We run the risk of falling under the influence of the pathology of another person, bitterly feeling that we have become its victim, and responding with a stream of our own aggression. We often want to become a savior, and this desire is worth fearing.

Yes, we can often help another, but it is extremely rare to save him. When the irritation in us rises, it is worth asking ourselves two questions: “Am I the one who should play this role?” and “Should I do it alone?” In any case, the alarm signal is our emotions: if we are uncomfortable, then it's time to say “stop”.

What attracts us to such relationships

It is not known why such relationships nourish with bright feelings and encourage, sometimes even filling with a sense of bliss. Let's try to take a closer look at them.

• Pleasant trifles. A compliment from a stranger, a friendly question from a neighbor about how we are doing at work, a simple friendly gesture serve as confirmation that we and our life are interesting to others. We tend to underestimate such signs of attention, automatically responding politely to them. In the meantime, they reinforce their sense of self-worth. We need relationships of different levels, and such “superficial” connections are no less important to us than strong love or strong friendship. So, a lonely elderly person who has the opportunity to exchange greetings with a familiar saleswoman or a pharmacist of a nearby pharmacy will find in these simple relationships the share of warmth he needs so much.
• Equitable exchange. Relationships that are built on open emotional exchange enrich us because in them we continuously build each other. By opening ourselves to others, we discover something new in ourselves. In such relationships, no one presses and no one obeys - they have only equality and reciprocity. If someone shares his secrets with us, is ready to accept our advice and follow it, then he trusts us, making us the chosen ones. Dialogue on an equal footing energizes both its participants.
• Gift as acquisition. Giving someone our time, help and love, we radiate positive energy. The reciprocal feelings of those who have accepted our gift always increase our self-esteem. And we get no less than the person to whom we give.
• Feeling of agreement with yourself. In what we do, we feel the meaning and benefit for others - having received confirmation of this, we are full of strength. The teacher, who by his labors turned a hopeless loser into a good student, is literally inspired by his success. Such efforts are rewarded in full: when we act in harmony with ourselves and in accordance with our own values, we feel that other people are needed, and we feel almost invincible.

strike a balance

To feel good, we need to emotionally “fill” ourselves from various sources. We get our daily “diet” by communicating with loved ones. But we also need other relationships - those that sometimes knock us out of the usual rut and force us to change.

It is they who awaken dormant desires and hidden possibilities. Aggressive, provocative people, of course, we do not like, but, annoying us, they encourage us to change, develop and grow. Sometimes such “uncomfortable” relationships are the most effective means to renew our strength.