Many women cannot imagine themselves without a man. It seems to them that if there is no soulmate nearby, it is impossible to become a happy person. However, psychologists say otherwise. There is happiness, and, oddly enough, it should be very close. You just need to know how to use life correctly. In the article you will find answers to the questions: "How to become happy woman if you are alone?”, “What is happiness?”, “How to replenish the supply of female pleasure?”.

What is happiness?

Few people know the answer to this question. For some people, happiness is when a loved one is nearby, for others - the health of loved ones, etc. However, no one can say for sure how to become a happy woman if you are alone.

Happiness is the state of mind of every person. If he has harmony, his heart is easy, there is someone to communicate with, share experiences, there are no big problems, this person is completely satisfied with life.

The famous writer Ayn Rand believes that happiness is, first of all, harmony with oneself. A person cannot force the people around him to love him. Therefore, love cannot be called happiness. Today it is, and tomorrow it is not. The same goes for friends. Some comrades replace others.

The philosopher claims that happiness is a person's pleasure in the present moment. It doesn't matter what he does. If a person enjoys, his soul is happy.

As you can see, for each person such a concept has its own sides. Psychologists say that absolutely everyone can be happy. Regardless of problems and moods. It is important to really want this and listen to the experts.

Happy without a man

Many women believe that they must have a soul mate. It seems to them that without a man it is impossible to become happy and successful. As practice has shown, not everyone has a favorite. However, for some reason some women are happy and others are not. Why is this happening? How to become a happy woman if you are alone? Psychologists give advice on these questions:

1. Find happiness in yourself. Try to live the way you want. You do not have to ask someone's permission, you have the opportunity to go wherever you want at any time. You'll see, a little time will pass and you'll enjoy spending time with yourself. After all, many women feel lonely even when there is a man nearby.

2. Remember, there are no princes on a white horse. They come across, but extremely rarely. However, do not hope and wait in vain. While you are searching, learn to take care of yourself. Find an exciting hobby that will distract you from sad thoughts.

3. Love yourself. Never forget that only you can give yourself the happiness that a man cannot give you - freedom. It is necessary for almost every woman. But not everyone is free.

4. Men rarely appreciate women's actions and goodwill. Therefore, it is not worth living for them. Yes, if you have a loved one, that's good. However, don't forget yourself. Always say to yourself: "I will become happy, no matter what."

Always be a woman

As a rule, if there is no loved one nearby, the representative of the weaker sex becomes a stronger personality. The woman does not ask for help and always tries to cope on her own. They say about such people: "a man in a skirt." It shouldn't be like that. Remember, you must always be gentle, feminine, loved and unique. These are the main rules.

A woman should not be shy about asking for help. Even if she doesn't need to know. Try to show others your fragility and helplessness. After all, it is these women that attract men.

Psychologists say that a woman should often say to herself: "I'm happy." Such suggestion helps to find yourself and your hobby. Remember, remaining primarily a woman, you can be happy without a man. Of course, someday it will appear to you. Thanks to the fact that you learn to be on top, you can do without a man. Such sex appreciates more. They are afraid of losing their beloved and do everything possible not to lose her trust and fill the spiritual emptiness.

What is important for female happiness

You don't want to feel lonely? Don't know how to live without a man? Psychologists say that first of all you need to be able to be distracted. Ask yourself: "How to become happy without a man?". You'll see, it's simple. There are several tips. Some are just right for you:

• Massage is a relaxing remedy necessary for every person, and a woman in particular. It has been proven that by touching certain points, the state of the soul improves, and the person leaves the salon with a different mood. The bad is forgotten and the good is remembered.
• Hairstyle, manicure, pedicure make a woman more beautiful and more self-confident. The weaker sex begins to treat itself differently.
• Beauty salon - new acquaintances. Try to meet new people. If you go once a week to a beauty salon, most likely it is there that you will find a girlfriend of interest. You don't have to be secretive with her, but you can have a good time.
• Talking on the phone. Many women think that this is a waste of time. However, you are throwing away your energy. Why not talk for two hours on the phone. It has been proven that a woman thus receives a relaxing effect.
• Shopping is essential for every woman. Thanks to shopping trips, you forget about everything. Almost every person a new thing brings satisfaction.

The above ways help women relax, enjoy life and become happier. However, there are many more methods, the main thing is that a person understands what he needs. Now you understand how to become a happy woman if you are alone. Try to enjoy being alone, but don't overdo it. Sometimes men are necessary to the weaker sex like air.

Factors of female happiness

There is an opinion that one is happy only when there is a husband, family, children and a lot of worries. Today, psychologists say that there are other moments in a woman's life. Many of them are wondering: "how to become happy and loved." Psychology claims that there are 4 phases in a person's life:

1. Physical. Proximity or intimacy is a relaxing factor. When a person is physically passionate about work, a partner, then in this area he is happy. However, you need to enjoy what you do. If a physical labor not to your liking, but only for profit, then in this case there is no need to talk about happiness.
2. Emotional. This phase is responsible for the mood of a person, his state of mind. Therefore, if you are cheerful, your heart is calm and comfortable, then in the emotional phase you are a happy person.
3. Intellectual. You have a specialty, you were able to get the profession that you wanted, and now you are also working in your favorite place. You are a completely happy person in the intellectual field.
4. Spiritual. You notice the world around you. When you go to work, enjoy life, help people who need you. You are completely satisfied in this area.

Pay attention to these phases. Most likely you understand how to become happy and loved. Psychology is a complex science. First of all, she teaches people to understand themselves.

The famous American teacher and psychologist has developed many techniques. He claims that it is they who help people become happy. These techniques are more focused on the female audience. First of all, Carnegie advises all the time to convince yourself: "I'm happy." This is already a big plus for success.

The next thing the psychologist advises is not to be infinitely grateful to others for their help. In turn, you should not wait for a person to tell you constantly thank you if you managed to help him out in difficult times. Give and take help for granted. Always repeat: "I will be the happiest under any circumstances."

If you have ill-wishers, do not take revenge on them. Always remember that every person is given what he deserves. If you start to take revenge, it is not known what it will turn out for you.

Never think about the person who is unpleasant to you. Try not to talk to such people even about the weather. After all, the mood from such communication deteriorates. Think of yourself what you need.

You can't criticize or judge people. Everyone, and even you, can find yourself in the same unpleasant situation. No need to swear and say: "this will never happen to me."

Perhaps, when communicating with a friend, you are sure that she is wrong. Don't judge her, she's this moment knows that it must be so. It's not your fault, but my friend's. If asked for advice, try to explain. Do not impose your own opinion. By doing this, you will only push the interlocutor away, and he will close from you.

When friends try to use you for their own purposes. Know that they are not even your comrades, but unfamiliar people. You should not communicate with such a person. Cross him off your friends list. It will make life easier for you.

There is such a wonderful phrase: "fate brought me a lemon." You should not try it, it is better to make a delicious drink from it. Now you can drink it for the rest of your life. An interesting and instructive phrase.

Constantly find something to do: build a career, learn to knit, sew, write poetry. Employment - the best medicine which will help you forget about all the troubles.

The amazing psychologist Dale Carnegie. How to become happy is written in many books. However, girls and women are often advised to read this author. After all, he wrote informative and exciting, you begin to feel like a happy and successful woman.

When does a woman feel happy?

Each person has their own concept. However, many women are interested in knowing what to do to become happy? After all, you want to enjoy life so much, but it doesn’t always work out. It has been proven that for happiness it is necessary to feel not alone. It doesn’t matter who will be there, a friend, a loved one or just parents. The main thing is to feel needed.

When there is someone to communicate heart to heart in a calm atmosphere, then the hormones of happiness are produced. Outside support and care is important for every person. If you are worried about others, do not expect gratitude from them, because it benefits you.

Collaboration, career, joint activities play an important role for all people. They say a woman - yes, it is. However, if you sit at home and do only household chores, it absorbs you. In such cases, women cannot feel happy.

If you are constantly busy, enjoy an interesting activity for yourself, communicate with others, feel that they are needed, then you will be completely satisfied with your life.

We replenish stocks of female happiness

Psychologists say that in order to achieve what you want, you need to set a goal. First of all, tell yourself: “I want to become happy,” and start acting. To do this, every woman needs:

1. Take care of yourself. Try to take at least 30 minutes a day for yourself. Even if you don't go to work, you should look great.
2. Find your hobby. If you are interested in needlework, try to find yourself in this business. It can be knitting, embroidery and more. Each person at full employment will not be able to think about the bad.
3. Communicate often. Go shopping, go to the movies, or even go to the circus with your friends. Heart-to-heart communication heals a person.
4. Help others. Try to pay attention not only to yourself, but also to those close to you. Helping other people will help you find yourself and feel needed.
5. Be a woman. Ask for help from those around you. After all, a woman should be a little helpless. Get used to the fact that you have someone to rely on in difficult times.

If you try all of the above methods, you can become happy without outside help.

If there is no female happiness

If you are unable to find peace of mind, think: why? Perhaps you have not wondered how to become the happiest person in the world. What threatens a woman if she has not found female happiness? First of all, the weaker sex quickly ages. After all, if a woman does not have a permanent partner, her character and mood deteriorate every day.

If a person does not develop happiness, he ceases to take care of himself and does not always control himself. This threatens with nervous exhaustion and, as a result, a hospital.

This prospect is not encouraging. Therefore, do not forget to say to yourself every morning: “I am happy.” After a week of self-hypnosis, you will become confident in yourself.

It is very important for a woman to be happy and loved. Therefore, adhere to the above rules and do not forget that you should always remain feminine and beautiful.

How to be happy at 40?

Do not think that old age has already come. After all, it’s not for nothing that they say: “life begins at 40.” You are an experienced and wise woman, so it is not a problem for you to become happy right now. At 40, your strength has just begun to flourish, you have many acquaintances, friends, comrades and colleagues. As a rule, at this age it is difficult to deceive a person, because he has a wealth of experience, thanks to which you better understand people. Now you understand when to trust and who is not worthy of your attention.

If you have children, but already adults, then you can pay attention to your beloved. Sometimes it happens that a woman, due to circumstances, did not have time to give birth. Then at 40 you will be happy if you are a mother. Do not be afraid, psychologists say that there is nothing wrong with that. Many women at this age give birth to babies and then find their happiness.

If you have adult children, but no man, then you can change your life in this direction. At 40, a woman may well pay attention to a man. Your intuition won't let you down.

Give yourself as much charm as possible. You can charm a man. After all, thanks to experience, you know how to behave correctly so that the stronger sex is next to you. However, before you take a serious step, think carefully about whether you need it. After all, if you are used to living alone, paying attention only to yourself, it is quite possible that you will not be able to change quickly.

Physical activity, caring for loved ones, passion, self-care - all this makes a woman happy. Find yourself, learn to enjoy life, and you will succeed.

If you ask people: “What do you want?”, The answers will be very different. "Lose weight, become rich, love, dog, Good work, success ... ". If at this moment you ask the question: “Why do you need this?”, Then the answer will be one. "To become happy!"

If you ask people: “What do you want?”, The answers will be very different.

"Lose weight, become rich, love, a dog, a good job, success ...". If at this moment you ask the question: “Why do you need this?”, Then the answer will be one. "To become happy!"

Happiness is the meaning, purpose and main direction of human life.

It is disguised as various understandable, material and familiar things.- money, career, children, love, health - but these are just the constituent elements of the global emotional, physical and moral comfort that everyone strives for.

You should not perceive "happiness" as a final destination, which has the opportunity to get once and for all. This is a feeling, state or experience that accompanies a person every day, bringing joy, giving self-confidence and making life meaningful.

“Generally speaking, one should start by identifying the factors that lead to happiness and the factors that lead to suffering. After that, it is necessary to gradually eliminate from your life those factors that lead to suffering, and strengthen those that lead to happiness. This is the essence of my idea.”

“The art of being happy. Guide for Life" Dalai Lama XIV

So, where should one start to enter happiness?

1. Sleep and nutrition

The smallest and most important thing to provide. There will always be plenty of other “meaningful” things for which you will sacrifice sleep or proper nutrition.

This is the foundation for the overall health of the body, for the production of hormones, for the functioning of the brain and the restoration of resources.

It is impossible to watch TV shows all night during the week, work late, not follow the regime and feel good in the morning.

Think of sleep and food as a “mandatory hygiene procedure” that will become a good habit.

2. Physical activity and sex life

To enjoy life, a person must feel good physically. Pay maximum attention to physical activity.

This does not mean that you have to spend a day in the gym. It is enough to start with everyday walks and a properly selected set of exercises that you will be pleased to perform.

For starters, include at least an hour of walking in your daily routine. Walking shows itself as effective remedy in the fight against depression and anxiety.

Sexual needs are natural for a healthy body. Their satisfaction leads to a decrease in aggression and discontent, the emergence of a sense of joy, well-being and a positive perception of the world.

3. Financial solvency

AT modern world money gives a sense of confidence in the future, security, control over the situation. For many, this factor becomes a "stumbling block", a problem that cannot be resolved and overcome.

H worth starting with rational distribution available funds. Learn the tools to help you plan your finances the right way. It can be mobile applications, tables or just lists.

Carefully keep track of income and expenses, follow your goals, analyze where and how you spend, and after a certain period of time you will develop financial discipline. And she, in turn, will give a sense of control and confidence necessary for a comfortable life.

4. Social connections

A person feels good when he receives support, approval, understanding, acceptance and love from others. In a long-term experiment conducted by Harvard University, it was found that people who have good, warm, trusting relationships with others live longer, healthier and happier lives.

However, it is the quality, not the quantity, that matters. Availability loved one, a true friend, a reliable partner will definitely make you happier than a dozen superficial acquaintances.

5. Motivation and awareness

Be aware, be aware of what, when, why and why you are doing. There are no things that are unambiguously bad or good, right or wrong. There is a motive and your actions, it is important to understand where they will lead you.

If you have an uninteresting, unloved job, ask the question: “Why am I holding on to it?”. If you are surrounded by evil or stupid people - ask: "Why am I with them?". If you are bored or sad - find out: "What do I want?".

Track your real desires, look for ways to satisfy them, harmonize needs and actions.

6. Self-development

Focus on the things that make you better, smarter, harder, happier. Do not aim at all areas of life at once - this is an impossible plan, and failures will have a bad effect on the motivation to continue.

Start with small but affordable actions– Learn something new at work, read books you never had time for, take a class, take up photography or clay modeling, go to the gym or go skydiving.

The goal is to reveal your potential as fully and comprehensively as possible, to become who you can be at the peak of your personal abilities, not to remain within the given stereotypes and limits, but to correspond to your inner nature.

Becoming happy is a conscious decision, for the implementation of which it is necessary to make efforts at the initial stage. The good news is that the further process will become self-regulating and will certainly lead to the desired goal.

Elena Grositskaya

P.S. And remember, just by changing your consciousness - together we change the world! © econet

October 23, 2014

Happiness is a very interesting thing. If only because each person perceives it differently. This emotion simply cannot be permanent. It comes and goes easily, so people are often interested in what how to become happy. Some people have a black streak in life, while others just want to feel something warm and pleasant in their souls. By the way, in many cultures, it is happiness that is considered the best emotion, as it combines many other sensations (love, care, etc.)

I thought that a considerable number of people would want to know more about this. Moreover, this information will remain relevant almost always (unless, of course, some kind of electronic stimulator implanted in the brain is invented). I analyzed domestic and foreign literature and found many ways, techniques and advice, confirmed by science. Here are 7 of the best ones.

Exercise more - at least 7 minutes a day

Physical exercise really makes us feel happier. I can say even more: in most cases, it is the absence of such a load that causes the presence of a bad mood for no reason. Many people don't exercise simply because they don't want to. Most popular excuse: I don't have enough time". But there is a solution. No wonder you are reading this article about how to become happier.

Now there are many sets of exercises that take no more than 10 minutes, but allow you to use all types of muscles well. For example, the very famous Tabata technique. For many people, it may seem quite complicated, but you can always find best option which will be right for you. Analyze the options that can best fit into your daily schedule. In the end, just try to do morning exercises as you were advised as a child.

Exercise really does make you feel better. This is confirmed by experiments related to the treatment of depression. Sean Akor's book describes a study that involved three groups of patients suffering from different shapes depression. One group was given only drugs, the second was forced to do physical exercise, and the third combined both of these methods. The results surprised even me, because I was not completely sure of the effectiveness of each of the techniques.

Despite the fact that positive result was at all, the final results are radically different from my ideas. Those who took only drugs began to correct the situation, however, within 6 months, 38% of percent returned to their original state of affairs. People from the third group showed better results: only 31% of them slipped back into depression. But in the second group, where they were engaged only in physical exercises, this figure was (!) 9 percent! It's really amazing. Girls from that group are unlikely to be interested in how to be happy.

You don't have to be depressed to experience the benefits of exercise. This will not only make you happier, but it will also help you relax, make your body more attractive, and even increase brain power. A study in the Journal of Health Psychology showed that people began to feel noticeably better, even if they did not have any changes in the body. That is, you do not need to go to the gym and build your muscles to become happier - just doing some physical education is enough.

16 men and 18 women were divided into two groups and took the parameters of the figure, lifestyle and body weight. Then one group was asked to play sports 6 times within 40 minutes, and the other group to read books during the same time. The studies that followed the test showed that there were no changes after reading books, but physical exercises brought really good results. So here's the answer for those who want to know how to become a happy person- just practice more.

I researched this question a little more and found out what exercise does to our brains. If to speak plain language they just release more endorphins, which make us feel happier. This can be seen in the image on the right.

Sleep more - you will become less sensitive to negative emotions

Probably everyone knows that sleep helps our body feel better, rest from the physical, spiritual and mental stress experienced during the day. Good and healthy sleep allows the brain to focus better and become more productive. It turns out that this is another important component of our happiness. In the journal NatureShock, authors Poe Bronson and Ashley Mariman explained how sleep affects our well-being:

Negative stimuli are processed by the tonsils; neutral and positive - hippocampus. Lack of sleep affects the latter much more than the former. If a person does not get enough sleep for a long time, he remembers negative events better. Pleasant moments are slowly erased, and bad ones, on the contrary, become clearer and more distinct.

Also known is one experiment in which a group of subjects were told not to sleep for two days and memorize certain words. The results were pretty amazing: participants remembered 81% of words that had a negative connotation like "cancer" (read about) or "war". At the same time, participants remembered only 31% of positive and negative words. This proves once again that sleep greatly affects the happiness we feel. Just sleep more.

It is impossible not to recall the experiment conducted by BPS Research Digest, which was able to prove that sleep greatly affects a person's susceptibility to negativity. Scientists set up cameras in front of the workplace of employees of a Japanese firm without warning them in advance. The study was carried out for about a week. The task was to determine what emotions each person experiences and to systematize the data obtained. So, those people who did not take a break for sleep became much more sensitive to anger and fear by the end of the working day.

To
As you can see, the duration and quality of your sleep directly affect your positive emotions. Of course, you should not confuse the sensations immediately after getting up and throughout the day. Surely in the morning you are very aggressive and negative, but for a longer period of time this difference is noticeable. In the picture on the right, you can see how brain activity decreases during the day.

Try to move closer to work - a few minutes drive costs more than a new house

Our commute can have a surprisingly powerful effect on our happiness. In fact, the fact that we are forced to do this twice a day, five times a week and about 22 times a month adds to the plausibility of this fact. Even if in the beginning there is nothing to worry about, over time, stress and negativity will accumulate, making us less and less happy.

According to The Art of Manliness, many people simply don't realize how negatively long commutes affect us. There are many conditions that negatively affect our sense of happiness in the long run. People are unlikely to ever get used to long and tiring work when there is more interesting ways pastime. As renowned Harvard psychologist Daniel Gilbert put it, “driving in traffic is an example of daily alternative hell.”

As a rule, we try to compensate for this stress with what we have. good car on which you can comfortably ride or big house, in which you can relax after tiring work, but these compensations simply do not work. No need to say " I want to be happy" you just need to try to make your work and the way to it more attractive.

Two Swiss economists considered the degree of satisfaction from these compensations claim that they do not work at all.

Spend more time with family and friends - will not regret on his deathbed

One of the most common regrets of the dying is that they did not communicate enough with their loved ones. If you don't trust enough that it actually helps make you happy, let me introduce you to a few scientific research that prove this fact. Then don't ask how to be happy and loved.

Communication with loved ones is a very valuable time for you when we are talking about happiness, and we are talking even for introverts (people who prefer to be alone). And in many respects it depends not only on relatives, but also on friends with whom you would like to spend more time.

Daniel Gilbert, mentioned just above, explains it this way: “We are truly happy when we are surrounded by family, we are truly happy when we are surrounded by friends and many other things. We think that other things make us happy, but in our hearts we know that they are not.” It is difficult to disagree with this statement.

• Family;
• Health;
• Time;
• Goals;
• Friends;

Go outside more often - the temperature of happiness is 13.9 ° C

However, he was not the only one who made such assertions. One study found that 20 minute walks did not fresh air help not only to noticeably improve mood, but improve memory function, as well as expand thinking.

This is good news for people with very busy work schedules. 20 minutes, perhaps, everyone can find. You can spend them during your lunch break or just walk from work to home. Research at the University of Sussex (UK) also conducted an experiment that showed the beneficial effects of walking in the fresh air on positive emotions.

It was published in 2011. During it, the students were divided into two groups. One was asked to stay at home for as long as possible, while the other was asked to spend more time on the street. At the end of the experiment, the second group felt much better. So if you want to know how to be happy without a man, then just try to start spending more time on the street.

Also, the American Meteorological Society conducted an experiment that examined the self-perception of people and weather conditions in order to reveal the relationship. It turned out that people feel happier when the temperature outside is at around 13.9 degrees Celsius, a slight warm wind blows, and the air is at an average level of humidity.

Help others - 100 magical hours

This advice is one of the most common in the psychological literature. I even remember a little quote like:

— When will I be happy?
— When you stop thinking only about yourself and start helping others.

Well, perhaps that makes sense. Moreover, a person really begins to feel better when he realizes that his actions are of great benefit to others. By the way, many social programs are built on this principle. However, this is a topic for a separate article. If you don't want to miss new posts, just subscribe to blog updates.

Here is what Sean Achor writes about this: “Researchers interviewed more than 150 people. They were asked about their recent purchases, as well as the emotions they were experiencing at the moment. So, charity concerts and exhibitions of emerging artists have brought maximum satisfaction. At the same time buying new clothes or techniques were characterized more neutrally.

From all this, we can conclude that spending money on someone is actually more pleasant than spending money on yourself. Of course, if we are talking about voluntary donations and you know that you are helping people. As you can see, there are ways to be happy. It was also found that non-financial assistance also makes us feel much better.

You don’t even need to conduct experiments to see that volunteers smile much more often, are more sociable, always ready to help and, in general, are happier people. You can see for yourself if you find a real volunteer who has been engaged in this activity for a long time. Beginners will not be suitable, since many people like voluntary assistance only at the beginning, and only a few remain in this area for a long time.

How to be happy - smile more often

Even if you smile on purpose, you will still feel much better. Exceptions, perhaps, are only those situations when you try to please a person and smile through force. In this case, it is unlikely to cause you positive emotions. But in other cases, it can really help you. Try it right now - go to the mirror and try to smile for a minute. You will see, it will become a little easier for you.

In addition, a smile will help eliminate many negative emotions, including getting rid of pain. And on this, perhaps, it is worth ending the article about how to be happy in life.

If you have any questions feel free to ask them in the comments. There you can express your thoughts about this material. Don't forget to subscribe for updates. Bye Bye!

Writer, PhD and lecturer Harvard University Tal Ben-Shahar, in his book Learning to Be Happy (which is based on the Psychology of Leadership and Positive Psychology courses, one of the most popular courses in the history of Harvard University), answers the question "How to become happier?" The book teaches you to live both in the present and the future, find the right balance between your long-term goals and urgent needs, and enjoy life like never before.

From the pages of the book, Tal Ben-Shahar assures us that we can become happy in the same way that we can become, for example, a graduate, we can learn to be happy just as we can learn foreign language Or learn to drive a car.

For those who don't want to buy the book and aren't planning on attending Harvard anytime soon, here are some tips on how to be happy from highly sought-after lecturer and author Tal Ben-Shahar.

How to be happier right now

1. First thing to do in order to become a happy person, you need to understand what will make you so. Tal Ben Shahar offers good and quite simple technique. Take a blank piece of paper and complete this sentence: To bring five percent happiness into my life…” It is worth thinking more about new experiences than about things and specific amounts of cash. A hundred thousand dollars is unlikely to make you a happy person, but traveling, playing a sport, mastering new skills and abilities, financial stability, or spending more time with your family will. Tal Ben-Shahar advises to start with more modest wishes. Make it a rule to check the list you have made from time to time, and as you complete it, cross out one thing and add another.
2. Do not dwell on troubles, on difficult life situations, on what annoys you, angers and scares you. Our happiness is largely determined by how we relate to external events and what we focus our attention on. If your thoughts are completely and completely concentrated on negative and negative emotions, and you are unable to cope with this, then what kind of happiness can we talk about? The best way to destroy this negative and vicious circle - to direct your thoughts in a different, opposite direction. Change your attitude towards failure, learn to learn positive lessons from any situations, change pessimistic mood to optimistic deal with your phobias and fears... through the power of thought, program your own subconscious mind to positive attitude.
3. Do not turn happiness into the only and ultimate goal. For, to learn to be happy, you must understand that happiness is not the final state. If you get or do something, for a short time you will experience pleasant emotions, but this is only temporary. Satisfying the constant need for happiness, on the other hand, presupposes that we enjoy the road along which we are going in a direction that is considered significant. Happiness, therefore, is not something to be found on the top of a mountain and is not wandering aimlessly around a mountain: happiness is the experience of climbing and conquering the peak. As Dostoevsky said - Happiness is not in happiness, but only in achieving it» (read other sayings, quotes and aphorisms about happiness).
4. Embrace not only positive emotions such as a sense of accomplishment, pleasure, and enthusiasm, but also emotions such as rage, anger, envy, worry, sadness, and regret. Don't try to run from them or deny them. The expectation of permanent and unending happiness is impossible and unrealistic, just as it is impossible to constantly be in good mood . Ben-Shahar is sure that such an expectation will not help to become a happy and fulfilled person, it only leads to greater disappointment and a feeling of a complete lack of happiness.
5. The happiest people (those who feel they are) turn happiness into a universal currency. It is it that becomes for them that value (and not money and social status), with the help of which they measure the quality of their life. Therefore, if you don’t know how to become happier, if you feel your days as empty and meaningless (feel like unhappy person), ask yourself - what did I exchange for or where did I lose my happiness? Make happiness your compass that determines the direction of your actions.
6. To become happier, we must learn to free up time for activities and goals that can bring us pleasure. Simplify your routine affairs, free your mind from emotional slag, bring into your life new impressions and finally, stop living with the feeling shortage and lack of time. So you can "with your head" immerse yourself in what makes you a happy person.
7. Create traditions. Professor Tal Ben-Shahar is convinced that the “ritual of happiness” will help to make a person happier. It can be anything. Someone enjoys morning meditation, someone takes an evening walk, for example, for a professor, the “ritual of happiness” was keeping a “Diary of Gratitude”, in which, before going to bed, every day, he writes down five things for which he is grateful. Turn activities that delight you and deliver a lot of positive emotions into your “ritual of happiness”.
8. Remember the relationship between body and consciousness!!! How to become happy if you experience health problems, lack and loss of strength?! We perceive our good health like something natural. But as soon as we begin to feel unwell or, God forbid, we fall ill with something serious, we can no longer ignore the physical condition. We think and talk about it, it affects our mood and attitude to life, our relationship with people. So if you want bad health to not prevent you from maintaining a sense of happiness, take care of your health. Get enough sleep (if you suffer from lack of sleep and you can't fall asleep quickly- visit the section "Health"), do physical exercises regularly (if you are sedentary lifestyle or you have a sedentary job Get up from the table more often), pay attention to your diet.
9. Imagine yourself in old age. Look back and appreciate the past years, as if giving advice to your young self. What important lessons has life taught you? What things and events are not even worth paying attention to? A look at your past and present, as it were, “from above wise years' clarifies a lot.

What difference does it make what they think of you? If you are happy with the decisions you have made, then you have done right choice and it doesn't matter what others say. Imagine how much effort you spend trying to read other people's minds, and still do not guess.

Listen to advice - please, but do not let others decide how you live.

2. Anger and resentment

When in next time catch yourself in this feeling, think about this: “Would I like to be the person I envy?” Certainly not, you love yourself (even if somewhere very deep inside).

You are looking at someone else's life that you do not know. You have no idea what this person is thinking. Maybe when he dives into the pool of his private house, he hates himself or is wildly afraid of something? Maybe you, walking through the forest on a sunny day, experience much more pleasure than he does, basking on the snow-white sand in the Maldives?

Stop looking at others. If you feel good now, then everything is right. If not, make it good.

16. Uncertainty

Happy people tend to have self-esteem (just don't confuse it with an inflated ego). They are pleased with themselves and exude confidence.

There is no reason to doubt yourself. If you have traits that you hate, there are two ways: accept them or change them. In every person there is everything at once: a libertine, and a puritan, and a lying bastard, and a gentleman. You choose who you will be.

17. Dependence on others

No one will fill the void within you. No one will make you positive and self-sufficient if you are unhappy with your fate. To share your happiness with someone else, you must first become happy yourself. So do not even hope that your success is in the wrong hands. Only in yours.

18. Past

Living in the past means burying your present. There were mistakes - okay, who didn't? Arrange a magnificent funeral for your memories, remember only the lessons and.

19. Total control

Sometimes you just need to relax and let life take its course. You can't control everything and you have to deal with it. Otherwise, you will be constantly nervous, but in the end you still won’t change anything. There are just things that are out of your control. They must be accepted as they are.

20. Expectations

People think that others should live up to their expectations. That's bullshit. Nobody owes you anything, and you don't owe anything either. No one should be polite, attentive, accurate, honest, pleasant in communication, clean, after all. Nothing should be perfect, amazing, unforgettable, but it can be. If it does, great, if not, don't worry. Be ready to accept everything that life sends you, and you will find happiness.