What does a person want from life? How do I know what I want from life? How to find your true desires

You do not understand what you want from life and what you really want to do? In this article, you will learn about six steps that will make you understand yourself and be 100% sure of your desires.

A swamp of unlimited possibilities

Almost every person in life has a moment when he suddenly realizes with horror that he does not know what he really wants from life. He feels himself drowning in a strange swamp of desires, emotions, thoughts, actions and events. In an attempt to escape, a person actively kneads the cold and slippery liquid with his hands and feet, which, with every movement, draws him into himself.Through the darkness, he hears the cries of “act!”, “You don’t have much time!”, “You can do everything!”, “The main thing is not to stop and do not give up!”. Man instinctively responds to calls and climbs. But active movements do not take him out of the swamp.

No one can answer a question that torments a person, except himself. The fact that his consciousness does not give a clear answer does not mean that there is no answer at all. Just while it is hidden at a depth - in the subconscious. Under a thick layer of stereotypes of other people's attitudes, thoughts, lies the pearl of vocation. To clarify everything for yourself, you need to get this pearl from the depths.

The ways to dive into the subconscious and search for this pearl are quite simple - they have long been studied, described and tested. But for some reason, they are still not talked about in schools and universities. And millions of people themselves do not know what they want and live their whole lives in doubts, fears and do not receive the happiness that their vocation brings. People have been looking for the answer for years and never find it.

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Why is it important to understand what you want from life?

The modern economy requires people to do more and get less tired. And people themselves want to deal less with issues of survival, develop more and fill their lives with vivid emotions. Topics of personal effectiveness such as time management, self-motivation and self-discipline are gaining popularity.

Personal effectiveness is the setting of personal goals and their achievement. Many trainings, books on personal effectiveness begin with a call to set goals. Like, having a goal in itself makes you more effective than 90% of people. And it is true. But when a person does not have the habit of setting goals, he formulates it from the desire that first comes to mind. Very soon this desire disappears somewhere, but the goal remains and continues, as it were, to influence the person from the outside, like an overseer, generating dissatisfaction with oneself and driving his self-esteem under the plinth.

The 21st century provides a huge choice of ways of development and great opportunities for the realization of the most daring desires. Successful young people earn a lot of money, travel all over the world and do not deny themselves anything. The Internet is teeming with artists, designers, actors, directors, singers, businessmen, politicians, bloggers and writers. They live a bright and eventful life, change the world as they want and do not worry about finances.

A person has never had such a wide choice of options for self-realization until today. But this same endless choice of possibilities creates a chaos of desires and a person rushes from one possibility to another. Chaos knocks the ground out from under your feet and turns life into that same swamp of uncertainty. It is impossible to be efficient and competitive without defeating this chaos. You can’t take everything from life when you don’t know what exactly is included in this “everything”. You need to know exactly what you want, because high efficiency and a sense of freedom are based on this.

Create a Personal Charter

People who have not become highly effective on their own, before setting goals, need to understand themselves and create a foundation for goal setting - to adopt a fundamental document, a kind of Personal Charter. To set goals based on it, make plans and implement them. I suggest that you take a few simple steps, as a result of which you will create your Personal Charter. With it, you will gain confidence in your desires and plans.

The charter in organizations is where management and development begin. It prescribes the essence of the organization, the basic rules and ways to resolve disputes. Effective management of the life of a modern person is no less complex process than the management of an organization, so every person must have such a document.

Step 1 - Film the trailer of your life

Be creative about your life, like a director is about a movie. Ask yourself what kind of movie do you want to make? Blockbuster, melodrama, adventure, epic or thriller? What does it look like? What scale? Titanic, Terminator, Star Wars, Prisoner of the Caucasus or Milkmaid from Khatsapetovka?

Make a general storyboard - first of all, you need an image of your life. Take a sheet of paper, lay it horizontally, divide it into 9 equal cells. Draw in these cells 9 main frames of your life from birth to death. These shots should capture the most important moments. It's up to you to decide what these moments are - it can be world achievements - victories in the Olympic Games or in the presidential elections, receiving an Oscar for acting or Cannes Lions for the world's coolest commercial. Or maybe these are moments from a quiet and comfortable family life.

There are different ways to fit the whole life on one sheet. Here is one of them.

In nine frames, fit the main storyline, without going beyond this framework and being aware that those frames that are not included in this sheet are of secondary importance. You can redraw this storyboard several times in a row until you are sure that these frames are really the main ones and that they must be in your life. Now, in your imagination, add detail and color to these frames, set each frame in motion for a few seconds, and glue it all into your movie trailer with the right music. Revisit this trailer several times in your imagination. Well, how? Do you like the trailer of your life? :)

This is your vision. The main thing that you should have in order to understand what you really want from life. The sooner you have a vision, the better. What can prevent it from being created? Undeveloped imaginative thinking and doubts. Develop an artist in yourself - learn to draw, photograph, decorate, process photos, shoot and edit videos. The Internet is full of articles and video tutorials on this topic. Then go back to the trailer of your life and remake it periodically until you get the option that you are completely satisfied with. If you mount a simple cartoon or a slideshow of frames to music, this will be a victory.

Before you make your own trailer, you can look at the old Pirates of the Caribbean trailer as an example and for inspiration. :)

There is only one danger in the trailer venture - when you start making the movie of your life, you may lose interest in films and TV shows. Because the emotions that fictional characters and stories give you will lose their brightness against the background of your life, and the need for artificial emotions will decrease.

Step 2 – Start writing your memoir

If you have a vision, then half the work is already done. Now you need to describe in words your core values. The problem is that people do not build a hierarchy of their values, do not prioritize. In this form, values randomly flash before our eyes, and a person situationally reacts to them. This is the swamp of chaos. From this chaos, the question “how to separate what I really want from what I don’t really want?” is born. It can only be answered if values are organized into a system. And when a situation of choice arises, turn to this system. It is important that it be built and described by that time.

How to build and describe it? First you need to find the true values in the general flow of life. There are several tools for this: a memoir, the ultimate “why?”, a personal mission statement, a million dollars and 100 dreams.

Every evening before going to bed, set aside 3-5 minutes to remember all the events of the day and write down one thing in your memoir diary - the most emotionally significant. It doesn't have to be the result of your actions, maybe it's a conversation with a friend or an insight found on someone's blog. An event can be either positive or negative. Next to each event, write down the value it is associated with. Example:

Event – “I read a blog post about efficiency techniques.” The value is “self-development”. Event - "talked to my boyfriend about new memes on VKontakte." Value - "memasiki". :)

At the end of the week, remember all the events of the week and choose the most important of them. At the end of the month is the main event of the month. At the end of the year is the main event of the year. By devoting 5 minutes a day to studying your values, in a year you will have a list of your values and understand their relative weight in your life. You will get the first results in a couple of weeks of such an attentive life or even earlier. But the longer you keep such an emotional-value account, the better you will understand what you want from life.

Step 3 - Get to the Ultimate Why?

This is an important exercise that primarily relates to managing your free time. If you understand what you spend your working time on, because it most often depends on the authorities, then in your free time you are your own boss. At the same time, most people waste their free time senselessly, not asking the question “why am I doing this?”.

It may surprise you, but usually a person has only a few hours of free time per week. The rest of the time is occupied by work, household chores, hygiene, transport, etc. These few hours people invest in development, recreation, entertainment, hobbies or degradation. Many people do not think why they do exactly what they do in their free time and do not realize how it affects their future.

The Ultimate Why? is a simple exercise to figure out what you do with your free time. When you plan what you will do in your free time, ask yourself why you are doing exactly what you are doing. For example, you are going to watch funny pictures on a social network or YouTube videos for an hour. What for? To relax, unload the brain, relieve stress. Is this the best way to relax or are there better options?

Or you have decided to take a course in time management. What for? To be more successful at your job. What is this for? To get promoted and earn more. What is this for? To go on holiday to Bali and provide education for your child. Ask the question why as often as possible and to the limit. When you reach the ultimate values, you can sort them out and build them into a hierarchy. Again, they need to be recorded and included in your charter.

Step 4 - Write Your Personal Mission

You are a free person and your greatest freedom is to decide what you will dedicate your life to. A short answer to the question "why did you come into this world?" – this is your mission. If you still do not have this answer, then try to figure it out as soon as possible. This short sentence concentrates your values. This is the meaning of your life, your main motivator, your goals should be based on it. But the mission can be quite difficult to find and formulate.

To get closer to understanding the meaning of your life, you need to get closer to its opposite, that is, to your death. To do this, it is not necessary to put yourself at real risk - again, imagination comes to the rescue. Try to imagine what will happen if you are not? What will change in the world? Who will suffer from this? What will the world not know or gain if you do not continue the main work of your life?

The most powerful way to understand your mission is to write an obituary - a newspaper article about your own death. What would you like to see her?

"… was born in … . He reached outstanding heights in ... He was especially loved ... and ... for his unsurpassed ... Such ... as he was not before him and it is unlikely that we will see them in our lifetime.

A personal mission is the core on which the pyramid of your values \u200b\u200bis strung. Without this pivot, the system will not be stable.

At the moment, I see my mission as launching irreversible positive changes in the development of Russia through media, educational, cultural activities. I'm trying to make sure that the blog you're currently reading and this particular article is working towards that mission.

Step 5 - Spend 5 million euros

Here's an easier and more enjoyable task for you. Imagine that you have no financial restrictions. From a great-grandmother who lived all her life in France and recently died, you inherited 5 million euros. What will you spend them on? What is the need behind each purchase? Write down all the purchases in one list, and in the column next to it, answer the question “why?” These are your values for today. Try to divide them into your "native" and imposed from outside. Get rid of the limitations in your head more often and your imagination will tell you new possibilities.

I know it's not euro :)

Step 6 - Start Dreaming Purposefully

The last task is perhaps the most pleasant, although not the easiest. Remember, find and write down a hundred of your dreams that you have not yet realized, but which you want to realize during your life. Assign each dream a "weight" from one to ten, and rank the dreams by weight from highest to lowest. It is not necessary to write all one hundred in one evening. Just start writing this list, reread it from time to time and add to it. When a new dream comes up, be sure to write it down on this list so you don't forget it.

Summary

Let's sum up and decide what exactly needs to be done in order to have a convincing answer to the question "what do I really want from life?".

Describe the vision of your life as a filmmaker. Decide what kind of movie you want to shoot, make a storyboard of life from six frames on one sheet. Imagine a "trailer" of your life, but rather blind it from drawings or processed photographs. Create your life like a movie.
Start keeping a diary. Write down the most emotionally significant events of the day, week, year and the values that these events are associated with. Arrange these values on a separate sheet according to their weight in your life.
Ask yourself the question “Why?” more often until you get the ultimate answer. Write down your ultimate answers in a diary or notebook. Build a hierarchy out of them.
Formulate your personal mission in one sentence. Give a short answer to the question why did you come into this world and what will you leave behind? Write an obituary about yourself.
Make a shopping list worth 5 million euros. Write down the needs that these purchases satisfy.
Write a list of 100 dreams. Dream regularly, embody and supplement dreams. Gather it all into one document. Call it the Charter of Ivan Ivanov (or whatever your name is). Print it out. Accept it, approve it with your painting. You can download the charter template here.
Be sure to include items 1-6 in your plan. Set yourself the task of "Create a Personal Charter" with a deadline "by such and such a date." Until you have it at least in draft form, consider that your problem has not been solved.
Review your Charter periodically so as not to forget what you really want, refer to it in moments of uncertainty. If necessary, amend it, publish new versions and accept again.

I took some of the ideas for this article from the book “Time Management. Full course." You can purchase its electronic version on Litres. I believe that personal effectiveness should begin with this book and precisely with the steps that I gave you in this article.

I am sure that if you have a Personal Charter based on these exercises, then you will know exactly what you want from life. With such a foundation, you can set the most ambitious goals and achieve amazing results. I will write about how to set goals correctly, plan plans and achieve results in one of the following articles in the same. Subscribe to the channel so you don't miss it

A happy person is distinguished by having a healthy appetite for life. He enjoys the process. If you look closely, it's not hard to see the recipe that all these people have in common: 1) they know exactly what they want and 2) they get it. How can I figure out what I really want?

I remember that day, about a year ago, when I suddenly clearly realized that the transformation that I had been striving for for so long had entered my life. Despite the fact that there were still many unresolved tasks and questions, there were doubts, fears and other companions of any changes - but one change did irrevocably happen: I knew exactly what I wanted. And in all spheres of life and at different intervals of time.

Wake me up in the middle of the night, demanding to list what I'm interested in in this life - I would blurt out without a shadow of a doubt where I'm going. And with a fair amount of specificity. Offer me to change these goals for others, no less attractive, I would refuse, because my scope already gives me enough space to spread my wings. If my life turned around before a choice - a loved one or these goals, I would choose the second. Since true love does not set such a condition, and everything else is a fake from dreams on the topic of saving love, which will make you happy for life and save you from the need to act. And for this illusion there is no more place in my life.

It's an interesting feeling to know what you want and where you're going, because it doesn't take away the freedom of choice and the ability to change your mind, but you know that your choice is made.

Absolute freedom does not exist, but there is freedom to make a decision, and after that you are bound by your choice.

P. Coelho, "Zaire"

To bind yourself with such a choice is a truly wise step, since it is concentration on a single vector that helps you go through stage after stage and feel the rhythm of life, giving rise to the joy of conscious movement forward. Including this is the only way to have what you want for those who are not afraid to dream big.

Simply put, the picture looks like this:

— To be inspired from moving towards your desires, they must be big.- that is, to have scope for the flight of your soul. Global goals give rise to the belief that our capabilities are much wider, thereby uncovering the internal potential and giving a surge of strength.

— Big goals take time, during which you will move in the selected direction without changing direction. Only a long movement in one direction can give a tangible result. You have the right to change the goal, change your mind, choose another - please. The divine right of free choice is always with you, as well as the law of cause and effect: each time you start another, you start a new path, and you also need to stay on it long enough without changing the sharpness of the focus.

- In order not to succumb to the temptation of choice and not to change your direction, you need to decide exactly what you want. Therefore, it is reasonable at a certain point in life to decide exactly for yourself: “who am I?” and "Where am I going?" Otherwise, people often change their minds, try many directions at once, do not really succeed anywhere, and generally give up any attempts, thereby starting a smooth descent down the ladder of their prospects.

If you're ready, you don't need to get ready.

Once you have a direction in mind, it is easier to deal with doubts and tempting possibilities. It is easier not to be distracted from the essence and keep the focus on one thing. When this choice has not yet been made to the end and you continue to wait for a miracle (they say, somehow everything will work out by itself), then you swim where the wind blows. I think none of us would want to be on an unruly ship in the ocean or on a boat floating on a fast current without oars. So why do so many people like this dangerous approach: "to go with the flow of life without any goals", isn't it obvious that it carries on stones of helpless old age?

Now the World Championships in Athletics are taking place in Moscow - how interesting it is to watch some of the competitions. Look.

What is the essence of the victory of this or that athlete? Someone will say that in diligent training, coupled with natural data, but still the root is deeper - in their choice to focus on exactly one particular sport that suits them best and improve in it.

Only long and technically correct training in one direction can give the desired result. But each of today's sports stars, having, in principle, a strong body and certain talents, could run from sprint to jump, from jump to marathon, from marathon to all-around, calling it self-discovery. Decide on a direction as early as possible- the most important decision in sports, and everyone knows about it, which is curious, but in life it is also the most important decision, however, much fewer people take it into account.

To get what you want, you need to choose a single vector and move in its direction, constantly improving over a long time.

Hence the logical question: do you know what you want from your life? In all areas?

I didn't know for a long time. Rather, she misinterpreted her desires. For example, I sincerely wanted to live by the sea. And only after 2 years, tightly spent by the sea, I realized that I really want to regularly travel to the sea, and to the mountains, and to forests, and to snow, of course, that is, to travel a lot around the world, and only in breaks between something more significant and creative, for example, the development of your project, and living by the sea is not at all necessary. A big city answers a lot more of my questions than an island isolated from the world. In my personal life, there were also dreams in the style of “maybe I will become an excellent hostess and keeper of the hearth and will not do anything,” which pretty much amused my own universe with the corresponding lessons.

For every talent we will be asked.

But every time, even when the next “I want” turned out to be more of my fantasy about a wonderful future, and not an adult decision, I continued to move forward. I wanted to live by the sea - I went there to live. I wanted a free schedule - I found a way to work as a freelancer. I realized that I had to return to Moscow, so I moved. I wanted an author's project - and here it is in front of you. It was this movement, and not reflections (!), that gave the skill to separate the grains of the true aspirations of the soul from the chaff of idle entertainment that lead nowhere. At some point, the real goals began to take on an increasingly clear form, leaving behind all the imposed husks.

This is an illustration of my favorite example of a long climb in the mountains - at first you don't even see the top, but as you get closer, with another observation deck, your view increases and at some point - the target becomes clear. But if you don’t get up from the couch and start this path of conscious movement along the edges of your “I want” and “I can”, then don’t even ask to the top.

Some tips on how to understand your true desires and find inspiring goals

0. Tip number "zero"- start a conscious movement, to begin with, to any immediate desire. You need to start moving uphill in order to continue to talk about where exactly my road is in all this splendor. If you plan to start and do something only when you find your Path or destination, you simply do not leave the threshold of your house. It's called couch searching for yourself, and it's funny.

1. Pay attention to your own desires

The presence of a large number of desires and ideas is a sign of high energy. Don't give up on your aspirations. And do not listen to those who say that desires are bad. Desires encourage us to move forward, grow and overcome ourselves, or rather, our own ideas about ourselves. Desires are catalysts for life energy. Another issue is that when the potential remains unrealized, it starts to press. That is why it is useful to fulfill desires in every sense.

The difference between a true dream or a “public” one, that is, an imposed one, is most often realized only in practice, and not in the mind. Get ready for trial and error phase, especially if you grew up in a very "blinded" environment, but this stage is also very productive.

Most often, I receive letters in the style of “how to make it so that everything changes, but not to be mistaken.” That's the point, no way. Yes, you may be mistaken, but even a mistake with a sincere intention to change for the better and realize your potential to the maximum will be beneficial, because it will remove another layer of blinders from your eyes, which you will never see if you don’t try.

A loser is one who, out of fear of failure, has not even tried.

It was the mistakes that brought me to that very observation deck, where I could clearly see what I want: who to be, what to have, where to go. And the bonus is the understanding that she no longer intends to endure.

2. Find the junction between desires and abilities

The single vector that was discussed is very often located at the junction of “I want” and “I can”. That is, these are not just your current abilities, but multiplied by great desires. What you have inclinations and talents for, but in the context of a big dream. This is the conscious development of one's abilities into mastery, which allows one to realize the most daring desires. As soon as you find this joint, give it priority. Nothing makes a person internally holistic and calm like a clear understanding of where he is going.

The goal differs from fantasy only by the presence of real steps already now in the chosen direction. In all other cases, if you want, but don’t do it, this is nothing more than a childhood dream that is unlikely to ever come true.

To get somewhere, you need to know the destination. This is primary. And the sooner you decide on it, the clearer everything that happens around you becomes. I wish you to realize it and choose from all the variety.

Olesya Vlasova

P.S. Friends, for 5 years we have been organizing retreats, expeditions and mountain treks in different parts of Asia. The purpose of our programs is to release the mind and body from tension, restore strength and launch the rhythm of conscious change for the better. Our tools are yoga, meditation, freediving, the practice of silence, the right atmosphere for a complete switch and the good company of like-minded people. If you were looking for a place where you can fully switch and rethink the current “settings” in a qualitative way, we are there.

It is very difficult to answer the question posed, this topic is as simple as it is complex, you can think philosophically, but you can also think about a specific dream. Talking about the fascinating and frank, there is a fear of writing something banal and insincere. It is all the more interesting to state your vision of this eternal question.
Every sane modern person asks himself this question at least once in his life. And the answers are always very different, but I want to believe and hope that they are true, correct, both specifically for my life and for the life of society. The moment, the time period, when we come to this issue and think: How to live on? What to strive for? How to realize yourself? What do I want from life?
There have been many turning points in my life. In 1984, I finished school in a small town and did not yet know that with the end of my childhood, an entire era in the life of our “Great Soviet” Motherland was leaving. I dreamed of entering an institute, of a stable job, while I sincerely believed that I would work along the Komsomol or party lines ... What did I want from life when I served in the army in the Group of Soviet Forces in Germany? In the break between the second and third years of the institute, there were times when students were called up for service during their studies. I was waiting for demobilization and love, the success of "perestroika", and something else very important for me in those distant years. Graduating from the institute, already a married man, he believed that our new capitalist life would change dramatically for the better, and all of us would be, if not rich, then certainly well-to-do, and would be able to achieve both professionalism and the highest rungs of the career ladder. At that time, my wife gave birth to my son, and it seemed that I didn’t need anything from life at all, just live and be happy ...
This is how a kind of “Schedule” of the movement of life and a change in the understanding of oneself, one’s place in life and one’s requirements for this very life has developed, can you imagine what a complex curve would turn out if we transfer this process to paper? “If you don’t understand the past, you won’t know the future,” is that what philosophers say? A Chinese proverb says: "The most difficult thing in a person's life is to live in times of change." But “what doesn’t kill us strengthens us”, and the Chinese themselves are ironic: “while we are admiring the sunrises and sunsets, centuries fly by.”
For myself, I long ago deduced the “formula” for the answer to the eternal question - a strong, reliable family, a favorite job, physical health and peace of mind. But for some time now, the understanding has come that these are rather tools than goals.
So what do I want from life? Or maybe it is necessary to raise the question more broadly - what does humanity in my person want from our world? We are all poets at heart (and even financial economists) and we rhyme all our thoughts:

No need for static, said one friend
I was surprised, I've been looking all my life
Stability, fair laws
Confident solid capital

And I thought, maybe he's right
After all, in our youth we were waiting for adventure,
Run after the sun among the dewy grasses,
Try 100,000 hobbies

Both craftsmanship and consistency of cut
In one moment God can destroy
Salvation is in fairy tales, there is no stagnation in fairy tales
In love, in friends, in "the creation of wonderful lines."

The first and most important thing I want from life is that it (life) be - in a natural, religious, social, economic sense, and not just in the form of an instinct for self-preservation, but so that I myself can influence the course of my life, doing health improvement , education, continuation, variety. The main thing in life, and this is the truth, is life itself!
Then it's simple - you want to do your own life, plan its winding movements, calculate its shocks and vibrations, set tasks for it and suggest solutions to it. Do not stand still, constantly study, improve yourself, master new directions, crafts, qualifications, stop only to analyze previous victories and mistakes and develop new plans, rest and move forward, realize and come up with a new Dream. And do not lose heart, for despondency is a mortal sin. It is tempting to say a well-known aphorism about ".. so that it does not hurt for the aimlessly lived years ..". But we must try to find new words, and more importantly, new deeds, new decisions, and perhaps most importantly, new feelings, since feelings are the beginning of life, the simple joys of love and faith, faith in one's own hands, in one's strength, in one's son, in God and in Life itself.

How to understand what you want from life? How to understand true desires? If a person realizes in which direction he is moving and why, understands where his efforts and actions are leading, every day of life will bring a sense of satisfaction.

The modern rhythm leaves less and less time to think about where we want to come in life. Society demands to be productive, successful. Pay bills, be an indispensable employee, an exemplary family man. These are far from all stereotypes, but there are already enough of them to swirl a person in a whirlwind of tasks and needs, leaving no chance to think “What do I really want?”.

How to find your true desires

If you don't want to waste any more time on other people's goals and aspirations, there is one option to start moving towards your own. Need to stop. Get off the frantic carousel of everyday life, stand quietly on the sidelines, listening to the sensations. Ask the inner “I” the question: “What do you want from life?”

Many readers will probably object that if you stop, the world will collapse. Life will instantly be filled with unforeseen problems, reality will break into thousands of fragments, which will no longer be able to be collected. But if you do not feel joy and satisfaction, then why is it needed? Continue to drain resources for existence, not living? Or maybe it's time to spend them on the satisfaction of personal desires and aspirations?

Meditation will help to stop, to find true desires in yourself. An excellent option would be a purposeful concentration on the phrase "I want to know what I really want." When it covers with an avalanche of thoughts and emotions, stop this flow.

The internal rhythm is subdued with the help of visualization. Imagine a raging sea, the waves of which are gradually calming down. Feeling relaxed, ask yourself one question, sending signals to the subconscious to unravel the complex tangle. Gradually, the chaotic stream will be cleared of third-party desires and attitudes.

How to overcome temptations when choosing desires

Often a change in the vector of movement, the search for one's own life path is associated with the indispensable introduction of something new. It is very easy to get distracted by emerging images and lose sight of the main goal. To avoid confusion, use Barbara Sher's simple "Idea Box" technique. Implementing it is very easy:

Set aside a separate notebook or small box. Choose what is more convenient for you.
When a new idea comes up, just write it down on a diary page or a piece of paper that you put in a box.

In such a simple way, you will give the emerging thoughts a material embodiment, even if just by writing them down. This will free the brain from their thinking and research, leaving resources for solving the main issue.

For those who do not want to study and spend a lot of time on one thing

Another problem that arises on the way of finding one's mission, revealing true desires, is a lack of patience. Remember how many times you left the job you started halfway through? The process of cognition of internal motives never proceeds quickly. How not to quit what you started, to unearth your own desires?

Lack of patience is often a fear of failure masterfully hidden by the peculiarities of thinking. To avoid this outcome, it is important to switch from waiting for outcomes to process. The ability to live your day to the fullest today, and not in an attempt to catch up with the goal, is another key to knowing yourself. He unlocks real interests, not allowing them to sweep past them by inertia.

They become the fuel that will move you towards what you want. Moreover, not in one generally accepted, approved by society way, but by opening the gaze to unexplored paths that the subconscious knows, which stores the experience of your life.

Desire Clarification Method

An assistant on the way to clarifying real desires will be a written methodology. When desires are not just swarming in the head, but collected on paper, it is easier for us to focus on them. Clarify, identify urgent, set priorities, goals, suggest ways to achieve them.

The methodology is as follows:

Prepare some blank sheets, a pen. Relax. Make sure that no one and nothing interferes with the exercise.
Imagine that you have 100 million dollars. Let go of any resentment about the fantasy of such an assumption. Keep in mind that at the same time you already have all the standard benefits - cars, housing, clothes. We have already done charity work, foundations do not need your support. And you have already traveled all the interesting corners of the planet.

Represented? Now make a list of 20 wishes. Be sure to consider all the above nuances, which are often the first thing people want. Remember, they are all already satisfied.

Why do I need it

This list will really reflect your aspirations and preferences. After all, everything vital, imposed by society, cannot be included in it. It is already there, it is time to seriously think about the true motives.

What to answer here

Write, starting from the feeling that everything is possible, permissible. Accept the above conditions, feel the atmosphere of security, the possibility of realizing even the most unthinkable. The results will surprise you, because often it turns out that what we really want is something quite feasible. But in life we spend a resource on the arrangement of something else, imposed from the outside.

Why is it important to find out what you want?

Sigmund Freud insisted that a successful person is one who has transformed personal desires and fantasies into reality. Psychological research confirms that people do not become happy because they managed to beat someone in a career or any other race. The feeling of happiness comes after realizing one's own uniqueness, permission not to waste time on achieving generally accepted benefits.

Additionally, they will help you:

Acquaintance with oneself through the study of favorite films, books. Take a closer look at what topics slip among them most often? What are you trying to surround yourself with? What fantasy world are you diving into?
The ability to please yourself without feeling guilty. The realization of even a modest dream is often associated in the mind with a sense of guilt, the need to sacrifice for the sake of others. This is how decades are spent caring for strangers. There is only one way to change this attitude: give yourself gifts. Don't let others interfere with the choice of what it will be. Don't rely on common sense. Assess your capabilities adequately and start small. Let useless, but really desirable.

Following these simple tips will give you joy and satisfaction.

An additional motivation for finding a way to realize what you want will be a real immersion in the atmosphere of a dream:

You will be able to “try on” a new reality, to understand whether this is really what you want.
You will be collected, active on the way to the goal. Experienced emotions, the very existence of the desired reality will serve as the strongest incentives.

If you have not yet decided on your desires, try one of the list below. Their implementation will charge you with new emotions so that life stops flowing along the thumb.

"Coffee in the skyscraper"

Visit a restaurant with a pleasant atmosphere in a skyscraper. Order something that you have never tried, but would like very much. If this is not yet possible, ask for a cup of aromatic coffee. Let the emotions of the past fill you with the belief that routine and everyday life are not the only options for spending time.

Test what you're looking for. For example, select the car you would like to purchase. Visit the salon where it is for sale. During the trip, note all the details of the interior of the cabin, feel worthy of such a purchase. If you are not interested in cars, try anything else in this way: a watch, a MacBook, a smartphone. Or visit a city or a country for a short time, to which you may dream of moving.

"Overnight at the hotel (suite)"

Book a room where all the details of your favorite design are embodied. Spend the night there, feeling the pleasure of being in conditions that used to be only a fantasy. Be honest with yourself, is this what you expected? After such a night, the dream will easily become a goal.

Conclusion

Weeks, months, years pass, but you don’t want to enjoy life? This is not due to the fact that it does not correspond to some image, but because we ourselves do not understand what we want. We, not parents, friends, employees or society. In order to prevent the substitution of your own desires by others, it's time to deal with true aspirations.