How to make the right decision when in doubt? The best methods. I can't make decisions

The struggle with doubt is the most difficult thing that a successful entrepreneur has to deal with every day: accept or not an offer, take an order or refuse, invest money in a project or not. Sometimes, this kind of doubt helps to make the right choice and not lose money, but what if it interferes with doing business? Understand yourself and find the answer to the question “What to do when you can’t make a decision?” advice from psychologists.

Tip 1: Give yourself time to make a decision.

Faced with the inability to choose between alternatives, you need to understand the root cause that prevents you from making a decision. Observe the situation from the outside, think about other solutions, or just relax: very often, what at first seemed like a difficult and difficult task is easily solved with a “fresh” head. For example, if you are concerned about the question of where to take money, then after thinking carefully, you will find a solution to this problem, including borrowing money - zajmy.kz.

Tip 2. Trust your feelings and intuition.

A lot of mistakes are made because people are used to making decisions based on the voice of reason, forgetting about the presence of a "sixth" sense. When a person acts according to the dictates of the heart, he does not have black stripes, and all his decisions are correct, and he will never regret them.

Tip 3. Don't go against your principles.

Are you ready to make the final choice, but you need to compromise with your conscience? Refuse such a decision and try to find another way out, because. You still will not get moral satisfaction from the implementation of your plan. And remember: the human mind is used to looking for the easiest solution. But if you have to solve a difficult, confusing situation, the answer does not lie on the surface, and in order to find the right solution, you need to scroll through hundreds of combinations and variations in your head.

Tip 4. Fight doubts

It is doubt that becomes a stumbling block for the implementation of projects that could bring a consistently high income. Just imagine what would happen if Steve Jobs doubted the advisability of developing computer technology, or if Bill Gates for some reason refused to create the Windows operating system?

Tip 5. Accept the need to choose

The ability to understand the inevitability of choice distinguishes a successful businessman from hired workers, because starting a business involves an independent solution to any situation: from minor conflicts between subordinates to the choice of the company's strategic development. That is why many decisions have to be made under the heading "so it should be."

When the choice is made, there is not so much left: to realize the plan. But even at this stage, you may be "in wait" for doubt. What to do to avoid this? If you ask psychologists this question, they will offer 2 alternatives:

1. Imagine that instead of the chosen course of action, you have chosen the worst case scenario. What could happen in such a case? This practice will help you once again to be convinced of the correctness of the decision made.

2. Twist in your imagination, like a slide, the positive moments that the implementation of the chosen solution will give you. This will help you clearly understand the ultimate goal for which your entire company is working.

The right choice for you!

To be or not to be - that is the question! Perhaps the words of Hamlet best describe a man who is so insecure. “He knows that he must kill his stepfather, and he hesitates only because the goal he is pursuing unconsciously frightens him,” explains Nifont Dolgopolov, a Gestalt therapist. - He strives for the ideal and is tormented by his own imperfection. And therefore cannot be fully satisfied with any of the solutions.

At that moment, when a person should give an unambiguous answer and is not able to do this, real panic can seize him. “He feels embarrassed, annoyed, embarrassed, feels guilty for dragging out time,” says Nifont Dolgopolov. “These feelings are exacerbated and can develop into irritation and even anger if his companion or companion begins to urge or criticize him.”

Paradoxically, the more he hesitates, the more sure he really is about what to do. But still waiting for someone to make the decision for him. Such an unconscious strategy gives a person the opportunity not to take responsibility for the consequences and for the choices made by others.

"I'm learning to listen to my desires"

Ekaterina, 36 years old, doctor

“When I have to choose black trousers or a red dress in the store, I buy both. For several years now I have been hesitant to leave the hospital to go into private practice. I am not able to connect my life with the man I love, because I cannot answer simple questions: should we live together or not? Have kids or wait? As soon as I have to make a choice, I involuntarily begin to procrastinate, procrastinate, as if waiting for someone to decide for me ...

The situation became so unbearable that I decided to take a course in transactional analysis. With my therapist, I am working on learning to listen to my desires, trying not to be guided by the opinions and tastes of my authoritarian mother. My path of healing is to finally release my inner child, still living in me, who has been deprived of the right to speak since childhood.

Fear of error

Those who find it difficult to make their own decisions suffer from self-doubt. They are afraid of making mistakes, because having made a choice in favor of, say, one dish in a restaurant, they have to refuse others that are presented on the menu.

“Self-doubt becomes the main property of a person if, from early childhood, when making a decision, he is used to relying on the opinions of others - parents, friends or people who are authoritative for him,” explains Nifont Dolgopolov. - Such a tactic of behavior develops in a child if his parents are authoritarian and adhere to a strict parenting style. They constantly evaluate the child, criticize his behavior, his preferences, make decisions for him ... And he gradually ceases to rely on himself.

It is pointless for an indecisive person to give advice, but it is dangerous to make decisions for him, because then he will lay all the responsibility on you. Another mistake is to blame him for inaction: this will increase his negative attitude towards himself.

Help him figure out what is preventing him from being more decisive. Make it clear that he only clings to self-doubt because he focuses on hypothetical losses rather than potential gains. It is difficult for a self-doubting person to recognize the consequences of his indecision. Point out to him what can happen if he never learns to make his own decisions.

What to do?

Don't be afraid to take risks

Challenge yourself, others and win - learn to enjoy it. Every decision we make, like every victory over ourselves, strengthens our self-confidence. Use the technique of model behavior: choose for yourself a brave, determined person who, in your opinion, can serve as an example of success and willpower. And every time you make a decision, ask yourself: what would he do in my place?

Change position

You are mistaken when you confidently say about yourself: "I am not able to make this decision." In fact, you are like Molière's Monsieur Jourdain, who did not even suspect that he had been speaking prose all his life until he was told about it. After all, from morning to evening, every day you make a lot of decisions! So change your perspective: be more attentive to the decisions that you yourself made today.

Fighting doubt is the most difficult thing that a successful entrepreneur has to deal with every day: accept or not an offer, accept an order or refuse, invest money in a project or not. Sometimes, this kind of doubt helps to make the right choice and not lose money, but what if it interferes with doing business? Understand yourself and find the answer to the question “What to do when you can’t make a decision?” advice from psychologists.

All our life we choose something, that is, we make decisions. Simple everyday decisions are easy to make - personal experience or tips come to the rescue. It is more difficult to decide on vital decisions on which a lot depends.

Every day a person makes any decisions - simple, insignificant, relating to everyday life and everyday life, and very serious, sometimes even global ones, which can significantly change the usual well-established course of life.

Simple solutions are given absolutely easily, quickly and with little to no stress. But if there is a very serious issue on the agenda, then it is really very difficult to make the right choice.

Indeed, in this case, the right decision can lead to tremendous success or, on the contrary, become the only cause of serious failure. That's why it's really important to know how the right decision is made.

How to do it right

1. Limit yourself to a strict time frame for making the right decision.

This is necessary so that such a restriction "helps" you choose the most effective option in a particular case, and is explained by the so-called law of forced efficiency.

2. Try to collect the maximum amount of useful information

From a large number of facts, it is much easier to choose the only one that is right for you, and besides, this will help to look more objectively at a particular situation.

3. "Turn off" emotions

In this case, they seriously interfere with making the right decision, because during their gushing you are not able to reason soberly, detachedly and fairly objectively. It is much more useful to wait until all feelings calm down, and only then start thinking, otherwise it is so easy to make a not the best decision on a hot head.

4. Find the right algorithm

If the search for the correct algorithm of actions is directly related to the work, then the implementation of this issue can simply be delegated to someone else. This way you can save a lot of your time.

And remember that if you complete a task at least once, then, most likely, you will subsequently do it all the time. Such additional employment without any benefits and dividends is absolutely useless in the future. Therefore, a rational approach in the form of delegation of authority is a great way to properly organize your own work schedule.

5. Learn to prioritize your thinking

Try to structure your own thoughts according to the principle of the greatest importance. Such a skill will allow you to find the most correct way out of absolutely any situation more than once. This skill will allow you not to get confused in your own reasoning when parsing complex problems.

6. Try to get rid of such feelings as fear of possible failure.

It really makes it difficult to choose and make the right decision. Because of this conflicting feeling, many really suffer a serious defeat. In order for the obsessive fear to recede and not interfere with you, you need to analyze in detail all the possible consequences that can sometimes arise as a result of various choices, and only after that you can begin to act.

7. Try to make decisions in a calm environment with a sense of inner balance

If you are such a suspicious person, whose fantasy simply knows no bounds, then try to calm down and relax, having a little rest, listening to pleasant music, drinking tea or just taking a sedative.

8. Be as objective and honest with yourself as possible.

It is absolutely not worth exaggerating or embellishing some facts that may have an unnecessary impact and subsequently lead to the wrong choice.

9. Learn to correctly and correctly prioritize

This is very important when developing various options for action. Decide what is really most important to you: children, family, career, work, money or anything else. Always be aware of the possible costs, because they can have a fairly large impact on the correctness and effectiveness of a decision.

How to make the right decision

How often many subsequently sincerely regret what they did, because they are sure that the choice in the current situation was absolutely wrong. If we approach the solution of the issue more globally and sensibly, we can make an unexpected conclusion that, in essence, there are no right and wrong decisions.

If you are serious about achieving a specific goal that is extremely important and a priority for you, then all your further actions that you periodically take in its direction will be exclusively correct. And in essence, choosing the true solution is an exclusively subjective concept, so make it yourself.

Sometimes the current situation does not require an immediate decision, and the choice can be postponed for some time until the nuances are clarified. But very often, new facts can further complicate the decision-making process itself.

This paradox is explained by the fact that in some cases, the more perseverance and effort spent on getting a result, the worse everything turns out. Or in other words, the longer you solve a problem, the more incomprehensible facts suddenly pop up in this difficult matter.

That's why you need a certain time frame for making a decision. It is time that significantly limits the ability to analyze a lot of options.

In other cases, a hasty decision leads to a colossal collapse. In such situations, on the contrary, it is much more productive to wait a while so that you can objectively assess the problem. But indecisiveness and artificial delay in making a decision can lead to someone else getting ahead of you or the situation itself will become more acute. Then you will regret that you did not hurry up with your choice.

"Helpers" in making the right decision

If the problem is really serious, then it is not necessary to solve it exclusively individually. Seek help and advice from your friends or family. Psychologists say that if you voice the problem several times, the situation will become clearer, and you will be able to find such a simple, but really ingenious way out of it.

A side view can be really sensible. But do not get hung up on the problem and tell everyone you meet about it. So you will only spend a lot of time on complaints and lamentations, and this will in no way bring the possibility of solving it closer.

If earlier you very rarely made decisions on your own, and almost always consulted with someone, then in a situation where the issue needs to be resolved quickly, just imagine what you would be advised to do. Such internal dialogue can be really very productive and incredibly useful.

Try to analyze the situation in terms of alternative possibilities. Do not choose only one option, believing in its unconditional correctness.

Come up with a few of them so that there is something else to compare with your first option. Play the situation in your head as if that original idea simply does not exist, how would you proceed in this case? you are sure to discover several alternatives that will help you in your difficult choice.

Remember the old saying that the morning is much wiser than the evening? It really is. You need to “fall asleep” with the problem, and in the morning you may come up with a simple, but really ingenious solution. There is a rational explanation for this: our brain and our subconscious already know the maximum number of all possible ways out of this current situation. During a night's rest, the analysis process does not stop and does not stop for a minute, and in the morning you get the best option.

In the complex process of making the right decision, your own intuition plays an important role, so you should not completely ignore it. Listen to your own feelings more often, and if you feel some discomfort, then look at other options. Believe me, your inner voice sometimes makes mistakes much less often than your mind.

Making the right decision is only half the battle

It is much more important to follow it (see ""). So:

start acting immediately and without delay, because various hitches and delays significantly reduce the chances of success;
try not to change your decision after half of the way to the goal has already been passed - this is ineffective;
stay true to your original views - this will give you confidence in the exceptional correctness of the decisions made and the rapid achievement of success;
if, after the first steps, you suddenly realize that your path is wrong, then you need to abandon it as soon as possible; find your balance between perseverance and flexibility - this will allow you to go in the direction of your goal quite persistently, but in case of a real need to quickly change the plan of your own actions without significant losses for yourself.

In making the right decisions, your own experience will be invaluable help, which is the most devoted and faithful adviser in difficult situations.

How often do you hesitate when you need to make a firm decision? We think this happens all the time. How do we know this? They themselves are. Our generation has the ground broken under its feet. When there is no foundation in the form of faith, a system of values, then it is always difficult to make a decision. You have to focus only on yourself, and not on the "Big Brother", who will gladly make a decision for you. On the one hand, it is difficult and scary to live without such help - you don’t know where you are going, you don’t know what will happen tomorrow. On the other hand, when you have to think only with your head, a strong and enterprising personality is born.

But even the mighty of this world cannot always make a firm and meaningful decision. Sometimes you have to improvise, because a person by nature cannot analyze everything, predict everything - he cannot be sure of everything. It happens that time works against you, and circumstances with enemies. At times like these, the worst thing you can do is to fall into a stupor. Men do not fall into a stupor - even in an uncontrolled situation, they remain sane. Remember, even if you think that you have nothing to rely on, you are mistaken. Your life, your experience, your knowledge, your ideas - this is something that cannot be taken away. This is your personal foundation, with the help of which we will teach you to make decisions - they will not always be correct, but at least they will be. And this is good.

Choose the lesser evil

Which will never get old. If you have to make an unpleasant decision, then evaluate the risks, write down the negative consequences of each decision, think about the likelihood of failure, and choose the decision that will cause you the least problems. If sovereigns at least occasionally followed this simple rule, then there would be much less economic, political and military crises.

Be pragmatic

However, choosing the lesser evil is not always the best decision. Sometimes you need to focus on profit. Forget about moral principles, forget about fear and remember that risks may or may not be justified. If you have a real opportunity to benefit, then why not try to do it? It would seem that the advice is banal, but in Russia, in our opinion, they very rarely listen to it - the population has completely forgotten about the word "pragmatism", preferring the words "stability", "spirituality", "duty" to it. No, if you want to live well, then you need to make decisions that will bring you money, influence, pleasure, in other words, profit. This is pragmatism.

Jump without regrets

If you cannot make a pragmatic decision, then there may be reasons for this. For example, you may not have enough time to do this, or you simply cannot adequately assess the benefits and associated risks. In this case, you need to trust intuition or chance. Yes, you can be wrong - the chances are 50/50 - but it's better than waiting for the decision to be made for you. If you are afraid to trust your intuition, then there is a simple but effective way to make any decision - toss a coin. Thus, you will entrust the fate of the decision to your luck, chance, fate. This relieves you of the responsibility (on a psychological level) of making the wrong choice. Life is full of events when you just need to do, not think.

Operate with ideas

Previously, people trusted gods, sacred books, authorities. Many people are still guided by such authorities when they think about what decision they should make - this is normal. This behavior is in human nature. The beauty of the 21st century is that today you can choose your own authorities, build an ideological concept yourself, which may not work for the whole society, but will work for you. If you have principles, your own understanding of honor or moral guidelines, then why not use them when you make your choice? Just ask yourself the questions: “Am I doing the right thing?”, “Does my decision fit in with my ideas?” "Am I doing something bad?" The answer will not always be unambiguous, but you, one way or another, will be able to make a choice.

Simplify your choice

If we talk about everyday things, then a man should be simpler - as it was before. For example, if a man was choosing a shirt in a store, he looked at the size, color and, perhaps, the shape - that's all. Now, because of the abundance of shirts, you can’t choose the right one, not because there isn’t one, but because there are too many of them, and you get too hung up on things. The same goes for food and drink. If earlier there was coffee, today you will be offered mochachino, cappuccino, macchiato, americano, latte. You can choose something “suitable” with wild eyes, but the essence will be the same - you will choose coffee anyway. So why not immediately choose "just coffee"? Why spend an hour choosing a movie at the cinema when you can just look at the poster and choose the first movie that comes across that more or less corresponds to your interests? Be simple - and then life will cease to be so complicated.

Do not do anything

Not having a solution is also a solution. But only if it is not about fear of choice. When you are afraid to choose, then you always and everywhere make a bad decision, even if everything ends well for you. When you consciously don't choose and remain still, you make a good decision, even if the outcome is sad. The point is awareness, not the result.

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