We all know that laughter is the best stress reliever. Combine business with pleasure: read these short funny stories and practice your English with pleasure.

If you need to write mystical story in English, I prepared separately

My meeting with a traffic cop

My meeting with a traffic cop - A funny story from life

It was seven years ago.
I was driving to work.

I drove up to the office and broke a traffic rule - I crossed a double solid line on the road.
At that time, a police officer was standing on the street.
I thought he saw me go over the double lines.
But he kept standing.

I drove further slowly because I was near my office.
At that time, a car backed up.
The driver didn't see my car, and smashed into it.

That police officer ran up to us and said to me:
“I have seen everything: you violated traffic rules, you have a dead body in your trunk, and drugs in your car.
Can I see your driver's license?

I'm standing, I'm hearing, and I can't say anything.

Then he laughed and said: “Miss, please smile, you looked so upset that I had to tell you something to cheer you up” and let me go.

TEXT TRANSLATION

It was 7 years ago.
I was driving to work.

I had already arrived at the office, but I violated the rules of the road - I crossed a double solid line.
And there was just a traffic policeman standing there.
I thought he saw me cross the solid line.
But he continued to stand.

Then a traffic cop runs up and says:
“I saw everything - you broke the rules, you have a corpse and drugs in your trunk.
May I have your driver's license?"

I stand listening and can not say anything.

Then he laughed and said: “Smile girl, you are standing so upset, I had to make you laugh / cheer up at least somehow,” after which he let me go.

Fortune and the man

One day a man was walking along the street. He carried an old bag in his hands. He was wondering why people who had so much money were never satisfied and always wanted more. “As to me,” he said, “if I had enough to eat, I should not ask for anything else.”

Just at this moment Fortune came down the street. She heard the man and stopped.

“Listen,” she said, “I want to help you. Hold your bag, and I shall pour diamonds into it. But every diamond which falls on the ground will become dust. Do you understand?”

“Oh, yes, I understand,” said the man. He quickly opened his bag and stream of diamonds was poured into it. The bag began to grow heavy. Is that enough? asked Fortune. “Not yet.” The man's hand's began to tremble.

“You are the richest man in the world now.” Said Fortune.

“Just a few more, and a few more,” said the man. Another diamond was added and the bag slipped. All the diamonds fell on the ground and became dust.

Fortune disappeared, leaving the man in the street.

TEXT TRANSLATION

One day a poor man was walking down the street. In his hands was an old bag. He walked and thought: “Why are people who have a lot of money never satisfied and always want to have more money.”
“As for me,” he thought, if I only had enough for food, I would not need anything more.
At that moment, Fate passed him by. She heard the poor man and stopped.
“Listen,” she said, “I want to help you. Give me your bag, I'll fill it with diamonds. But if even one diamond falls to the ground, the entire contents of the bag will turn to dust. Understand?
“Of course I understand,” the poor man replied. He quickly opened his bag and the diamonds fell into his bag. The bag was getting heavy.
"Enough?" Fate asked.
“Not yet,” the peasant replied, his hands trembling.
“You are the richest man in the world,” said Fate.
"More! Some more!" said the poor man.
At that moment, another diamond fell into the overflowing bag.
The bag slipped out of the hands of the poor man and fell to the ground, and the diamonds became dust in the same moment.
Fate has disappeared, leaving the poor on the street.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Everyone has heard of Sherlock Holmes. Everyone has read stories about Sherlock Holmes at one time or another. Sherlock Holmes was a famous detective. Actually, he was the most famous detective of all times.

The author of the Sherlock Holmes stories was Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.
Once Sir Arthur arrived in Paris. He took a cab and asked the cabman to take him to the Ritz, the hotel where he was going to spend the night.

The cabman brought him to the hotel. When he received the fare he said:
“Thank you very much, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.”
“How do you know who I am?” asked Sir Arthur. He was very much surprised.

“Well, sir, I read in the newspaper yesterday that you were coming to Paris from the South of France. I also noticed that your hair was cut by a barber in the South of France. Your clothes and especially your hat told me that you were English. I put all the information together and quessed that you were Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.”

“That is wonderful,” said Sir Arthur.
“You could recognize me though you knew very few facts.”

“Besides,” added the cabman. Your name is on both of your travel bags. That also helped.”

So, the cabman played a good joke on Conan Doyle.

TEXT TRANSLATION

Everyone has heard of Sherlock Holmes. Everyone has read the Sherlock Holmes stories at one time or another. Sherlock Holmes was a famous detective. In fact, he was the most famous detective of all time.
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was the author of the Sherlock Holmes stories. One day Sir Arthur arrived in Paris. He took a taxi and asked the taxi driver to take him to the Ritz, to the hotel where he was going to spend the night. The driver brought him to the hotel. When he received the fare, he said:
"Thank you very much, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle."
"How do you know who I am?" Sir Arthur asked. He was very surprised.
“Well, sir, I read in the newspaper yesterday that you were going to Paris from the south of France. I also noticed that you had your hair cut by a barber in the south of France.
Your clothes and especially your hat say that you are English. I put all these facts together and realized that you are Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.
"Wonderful," said Sir Arthur. "You were able to recognize me by knowing very few facts."
“Besides,” added the driver, “your name is on both of your travel bags. That helped too."
Thus the driver played a good joke on Conan Doyle.

Honesty is the best policy

A woodman was once working on the bank of a deep river. Suddenly his ax slipped from his hand and dropped into the water.
“Oh! I have lost my ax,” he cried. “What shall I do? Who can help me?”
Mercury heard the poor man's cries and appeared before him.

‘What is the matter, poor woodman?’ he asked. “What has happened? Why are you so sad and unhappy?”
Mercury listened to the man's story and then said, “Perhaps I can help you.” He dived into the river and brought up a golden axe. “Is this yours?” he asked. “No, that is not mine,” was the answer.

Mercury dived a second time and this time brought up a silver axe. “Is this yours?” he asked. Again the answer was “No.” So Mercury dived a third time and brought up the very ax that the woodman had lost. "That's my axe," cried the man. “Yes, that is my axe. Now I can work again.”

Mercury was so pleased with the follow’s honesty that at once he made him a present of the other two axes and disappeared before the man could say, “Thank you”.

The woodman went home very pleased with his good luck. He told his friends all about it and one of them decided to try his luck. So he went to the same place, dropped his ax into the river, and cried out: “Oh! I have lost my ax. What shall I do? Who can help me?”

Mercury appeared as before, and when he learned that man had lost his ax, he dived into the river. Again he brought up a golden axe. Is this yours? he asked.

“Yes, it is,” answered the woodman. “You are not telling me the truth,” Mercury said.

You will neither have this ax nor the one that you so foolishly dropped into the water.”

TEXT TRANSLATION

One day a woodcutter was working on the bank of a deep-water river. Suddenly the ax slipped from his hands and fell into the water.
"Ouch! I lost my axe, he exclaimed. "What should I do? Who can help me?"
Mercury heard the cries of the poor man and appeared before him.
"What happened, poor fellow?" - he asked. “What happened? Why are you so sad and unhappy?

Mercury listened to the man's story and then said, "Perhaps I can help you." He dived into the river and raised the golden axe. "Is this your axe?" - he asked. "No, it's not mine," was the woodcutter's reply. Mercury dived a second time, and this time he raised his silver axe. "This one is yours?" - he asked. Again the answer was "No". Mercury dived a third time and picked up the ax that the woodcutter had lost. “This is my axe,” exclaimed the poor man. “Yes, this is my axe. Now I can work again.”

Mercury was so pleased with the honesty of his friend that he immediately made him a gift of two other axes and disappeared before the man could say: "Thank you."
The woodcutter returned home very pleased with his luck. He told his friends about all this and one of them decided to try his luck. He went to the same place, dropped the ax into the river and shouted: “Oh! I lost my axe. What should I do? Who can help me?"
Mercury appeared as before, and when he learned that the man had lost the ax, he dived into the river. He raised the golden axe. "Is that your axe"? - he asked.
"Yes, it's mine," replied the woodcutter. "You are not telling the truth," said Mercury.
You will not get this ax and yours, which you foolishly threw into the water.”

A present from the son

Long ago there lived an old woman in England. She had a son who was a sailor. He went to different countries and always brought presents for his old mother.

Once he went to China and brought some tea from that country.
At that time tea was very expensive and only rich people could buy and drink it. So the old woman was very happy to have such a nice present. But she didn't know what to do with it as she had never bought tea before. She thought it was a vegetable. She told her friends about her son's present and invited them to taste it with her. At last the day of the tea-party came. The woman called her guests to the dining-room and put a big dish of tea leaves on the table. The guests began to eat the leaves with salt just as they ate vegetables. Nobody liked it but didn't tell the woman about it and continued to eat the leaves.

Some tome later the sailor came into the room. When he saw that all the guests were eating leaves, he smiled.

“What are you doing? Why are these leaves? Where is the tea?”
“Here it is, my son,” the old woman said.
“And where is the water in which you have boiled the leaves?” asked the man laughing.
“I threw it away, of course,” answered the woman.

TEXT TRANSLATION

A long time ago, there lived an old woman in England. She had a son who was a sailor. He traveled to different countries and always brought gifts for his old mother.

One day he went to China and brought tea from that country. At that time, tea was very expensive, and only rich people could buy and drink such tea. Therefore, the old lady was very happy to have such a nice present. But she did not know what to do with such tea, since she had never bought it before. She thought it was a vegetable.

She told her friends about her son's gift and invited them to try this tea. Finally the day of the tea party arrived. The woman called her guests into the dining room and placed a large dish of tea leaves on the table. The guests began to eat the leaves with salt, as they did when they ate vegetables. No one liked it, but no one told the old woman about it, but continued to eat the leaves.
Some time later, the son entered the room.
When he saw that all the guests were eating the leaves, he smiled.
"What are you doing?
Why are you eating these leaves?
Where's the tea?

“Here he is, my son,” said the old woman.
“Where is the water in which you boiled the leaves?” asked the son, laughing.
“Of course I poured it out,” the mother replied.

I'm four years old at home, and two and a half in buses and trains

A mother and her young son got into a bus and sat down. The bus conductor came up to them and asked them to pay the fare. The mother said, ‘I want one ticket to Oxford,’ and gave him a shilling.

The conductor was looking at the small boy for a few seconds and then said, ‘How old are you, young man?’
The mother began speaking, but the conductor stopped her, and the boy said, ‘I’m four years old at home, and two and a half in buses and trains.’

The mother took sixpence more out of her bag and gave it to the bus conductor.
He gave her one ticket and a half.

TEXT TRANSLATION

A young woman with a small child entered the bus and sat on the seat. The bus conductor approached them and asked them to pay for the fare. Holding out one shilling, the woman says: "I need one ticket to Oxford."

Looking at the child, the conductor asked the mother: "How old are you, young man?"
The woman began to speak, but the conductor stopped her and the boy said: “At home I am four years old, and on buses and trains I am 2.5 years old.”

The woman brought another sixpence from her bag and gave it to the conductor. And he gave her one adult and one children's ticket.

I prefer to play the part of a great man on the stage

Once David Garrick, a famous actor, was told by a Member of Parliament that as he was so popular he could easily become an MP too. “No thank you,” the actor replied. “I prefer to play the part of a great man on the stage than the part of a fool in Parliament.”

TEXT TRANSLATION

Since David Garrick was a famous actor, he was once told by a Member of Parliament that an actor could easily enter Parliament as well.
“No thanks,” the actor replied.
"I prefer to play the role of a great man on the stage than a fool in parliament."

Can my dog ​​have a seat in the bus?

One wet day a woman with a dog got on a bus. It was a very big dog and its feet were dirty.
The woman said, “Oh, conductor, if I pay for my dog, can he have a seat like the other passengers?”

The conductor looked at the dog and then said, “Certainly, madam, he can have a seat, but like the other passengers, he mustn’t put his feet on it.”

TEXT TRANSLATION

One rainy day, a woman with a dog got on the bus. The dog was very large and had dirty paws. The woman asked: “Conductor, can a dog sit on the seat like other passengers if I pay for its fare?”
The conductor looked at the dog and replied: “Of course, madam, the dog can sit down, but she, like all passengers, should not sit with her feet on the seat.”

Why do men in this country wear black when they marry?

Mrs. Robinson was a teacher in a big school in an American city. She had boys and girls in her class, and she always enjoyed teaching them, because they were quick and because they thought about everything carefully.

One day she said to the children: “People in a lot of countries in Asia wear white clothes at funerals, but people in America and in Europe wear white clothes when they're happy, what color does a woman in this country wear when she marries, Mary?”

Mary said, "White, Miss because she's happy."

"That's good, Mary," Mrs. Robinson said. “You're quite right. She wears white because she's happy.”
But then one of the boys in the class put his hand up.

“Yes, Dick,” Mrs. Robinson said. “Do you want to ask a question?”
"Yes, Miss," Dick said. “Why do men in this country wear black when they marry?”

TEXT TRANSLATION

Mrs. Robinson was a teacher at a large school in an American city. In the class she had boys and girls, whom she loved to teach, because. they grasped everything on the fly and carefully studied the material. As she said to the children:
“People in many Asian countries wear white clothes for funerals, while in America and Europe we wear white clothes for a holiday when we are happy. What color will a girl wear in our country when she gets married?
“White, Miss, because she is happy,” Maria answered.
"All right, Maria," said Mrs. Robinson. "You're absolutely right. She wears white because she is happy.”
But then one of the students in the class raised his hand.
"Yes, Dick," said Mrs. Robinson. "Do you want to ask a question?"
"Yes, Miss," said Dick.
“Why do our men wear black clothes when they get married?”

Toddlers are happy to learn about the world around them, absorbing everything that happens in it. Take advantage of this sincere curiosity and add English to your baby's environment by reading stories in English for children with him. Short English fairy tales will give the child the opportunity to get acquainted with the sound of the language, learn new words and phrases, learn to read and understand English. In today's material you will find easy and interesting children's stories in English with a translation of the text into Russian, as well as useful advice for conducting such classes.

Before you involve your child in reading in English, you need to carefully plan your lesson and select suitable materials.

Children who are just starting to get acquainted with a foreign language are advised to take adapted literature in English for children. These tales are reworked and simplified to a minimum: the text is written in short sentences, with frequently repeated words and bright auxiliary pictures.

Do not forget that a fairy tale for children in English must have a translation. Both you and your baby will feel more confident knowing that you can always check the correct meaning of the words.

To attract fidgets to read or listen to fairy tales, use game methods and your unlimited imagination. The main thing is to constantly interact with the child and not let him get bored. View beautiful pictures with your baby and play "questions and answers" ( who/what is it?) read the lines of the characters in different voices, memorize new vocabulary together and try to build small dialogues.

It is not necessary to study stories for children and stories in English only in text format. Combine all possible language learning methods: listen to audio versions of fairy tales recorded by native speakers, or be distracted by watching colorful and dynamic videos with the text of a fairy tale.

Having learned all the above tips, let's move on to putting them into practice. The following are short stories in English with a parallel Russian translation.

Fairy tales and stories in English for children

The Goose that laid the Golden Eggs

Luck smiled on them! But soon the husband and wife began to think that in this way they would not become prosperous rich for a long time.

So the husband and wife decided to kill the bird. However, when butchering the goose, they were greatly surprised: from the inside, it was exactly the same as all birds like it!

The crocodile (Crocodile)

Once a baby crocodile counted all his shiny scales, and they turned out to be a whole thousand. There were more of them than he had thought before.

The crocodile made a wish before going to bed so that 40 scales fell on the pillow. But this did not happen. They did not fall out even after three weeks.

The crocodile woke up, and lo and behold! There were 40 shiny scales on the pillow. He distributed them to 20 crocodiles: each 2 scales. Since then, everyone has become friends with a kind baby crocodile.

The boy who cried “Wolf!” (The boy who yelled "Wolves!")

He had one joke that he often played with people. The boy ran downstairs and shouted very loudly: Wolf! Wolf!Helpme somebody!The wolf is here!

One daystood outwonderfulwarmday.boysleptundertree.Suddenlyheheardstrangesound.The boy woke up and saw a large gray beast. It was a wolf.

But this time no one came to save the boy. Because no one will believe a liar, even if he suddenly decides to tell the truth. When the boy did not return home at night, people went to look for him. But they never managed to find the boy.

Taking a walk in a park a colonel of a rather gloomy disposition saw a lieutenant of his regiment in civilian clothes with a young lady. Having noticed the colonel from a distance, the lieutenant hid himself behind a tree.
The next day the colonel asked:
– Why did I see you yesterday evening in the park in civilian clothes?
– Because the tree was not thick enough, Sir, – answered the lieutenant.

Walking in the park, one stern colonel saw a lieutenant of his regiment in civilian clothes with a young lady. Noticing the colonel from a distance, the lieutenant hid behind a tree.
The next day the colonel asks:
- Why did I see you last night in the park in civilian clothes?
"Because the wood wasn't thick enough, sir," the lieutenant replied.

Student: Brain is like Bermuda triangle – information goes in and then it is never found again.

Student: Brains are like the Bermuda Triangle - information gets into it and is never found again.

Why did you leave your last job?
The company relocated and they didn't tell me where.

Why did you leave your previous job?
The company moved and didn't tell me where.

Once a young man went shopping and bought himself a pair of trousers. When he got home, he went to his bedroom and tried them on. He found they were far too long.
He went downstairs where his mother and his two sisters were waiting for dinner. “The new trousers are too long? – he said. – They need shortening. Would any of you be so kind and do it for me, please?”
As soon as dinner was over and his mother had shortened the trousers to the same size as his old ones. It happened that she did not mention about it to her daughters.
Later on? the elder sister remembered her brother's request. She was a kind-hearted person and wanted to do him a favour, so she considerably shortened the trousers.- Because the tree was not thick enough, Sir, – answered the lieutenant.
Returning home from the cinema, the younger sister suddenly remembered what her brother asked them. So she hurried upstairs and cut a piece off each leg of the new trousers.

One day a young man went shopping and bought himself trousers. When he got home, he went up to his room and tried them on. And he saw that they were too long for him.
Going down to the dining room, where his mother and two sisters were waiting for him for dinner, he said: “My new trousers are too long. They need to be shortened. Won't one of you do it? I'll be very grateful."
As soon as dinner was over, the mother washed the dishes, went to her son's room and shortened his trousers to the length of the worn ones. It so happened that she did not tell her daughters about this.
A little later, the older sister remembered her brother's request. She was a kind-hearted girl who wanted to do a favor to her brother and thoroughly cut her trousers.
After returning from the cinema, the younger sister suddenly remembered her brother's request. She hurried up to his room and cut off a large piece from each leg of the new trousers.

Teacher: I killed a person. Convert this sentence into future tense.
Student: You will go to jail.

Teacher: I killed a man. Change this sentence into the future tense.
Student: You will go to jail.

An energetic American tourist had come to visit the Warwick Castle in England. When the doorkeeper made his appearance, the American was studying his guide-book.
– Tell me, – the American said to the caretaker, – have you that famous vase still here? (shows its photo in the guide-book).
- Yes, sir, - was the reply.
– And the table that costs 10,000 dollars?
- Yes, sir.
– And have you still that portrait of Charles I by Vandyck?
– Oh yes, sir, – said the doorkeeper, – they are all here. Won't you come in and see them?
– No, I won’t, I have no time to lose, – answered the visitor. – As they are here right enough and I have seen them in my guide-book I can go on visiting other castles and museums. Good morning - and he hurried away.

One day, an energetic American tourist came to Warwick Palace in England. When the porter approached him, the American was studying his guidebook.
“Tell me,” the American turned to the gatekeeper, “is this famous vase (shows a photograph of it in the guidebook) still here?”
“Yes, sir,” was the reply.
“And the table that costs ten thousand dollars?”
- Yes, sir.
– Is Van Dyck’s portrait of Charles I still here?
“Oh yes, sir,” said the porter, “they are all here. Will you come and see them?
- No, I won't. I have no time to waste,” replied the visitor. - Since they are all in place and I saw them in my guidebook, I can continue visiting other palaces and museums. Goodbye. And he hastened to leave.

Wife: If a Monster was my husband, I would have been much happier with him than with you…
Man: But marriages are not allowed in the same blood relation!

Wife: If I married a monster, I would be much better off with him than with you...
Husband: but consanguineous marriages are not allowed.

A man placed an advertisement "Wife wanted". The next day he received hundreds of replies, all saying "You can have mine".

Short stories in English (short English stories) - adapted and in the original. For beginners, continuing and improving. For those who are just starting to learn English or those who do not want to forget it. The best stories by English and American writers with exciting plots are especially suitable for those who are learning English on their own.

If you have looked at this page, dear reader, then you want to read something in English. You can choose book, story or short work, and at the same time and watch his film adaptation. Let's take a journey through time together, say, to the 18th century, get acquainted with the era, its typical characters, and at the same time with the greatest writers who lived at that time. They speak to us through several centuries, putting words into the mouths of the heroes of their works. A good book is a relative term. After all, we have different tastes, so you will find different works on our site. However, one thing is certain - all the books that we offer are worthy of being read. After all, it's not just best books in english- this is classics of English and American literature. So, open the book and go to another world. Don't get lost!