The third child in the family cn. A third child was born in the family

I've been meaning to talk about this for a long time, but never got around to it.

I get asked all the time what it's like with three kids. This question interests a variety of segments of the population:

Those who are only planning a third child in an indefinite future, but for now they are sewn up with two,
- those who have only one child, and he hopes to hear that with three nothing, and decide on the second,
- those who are not planning anyone, but he is just curious about how a mother of many children feels.

One child

With all certainty, I can say this. The biggest difference is between zero children and one child. The difference is huge. The day you have your first child, your whole life changes completely. And these are not only sleepless nights, the smell of diapers in the house, the inability to go wherever you want with whoever you want and return at any time you want. This is the need to get used to the fact that there are three of you now. That you are not just a couple - you are a couple with a child. And the interests of this child must not only be taken into account, but sometimes put above their own. And not sometimes, but very often. Almost all the time :-)

A child is something that will bind you all your life, even if you get divorced. You can no longer just slam the door and leave, having collected your things, and then, in court, divide the closet, TV and piano. You will have to somehow build a relationship, because there is a child.

Two children

The birth of my second child reminds me of a plane landing. The landing gear touches the ground, the plane shakes as it should, and then it gradually slows down and stops.

The second child is a shake-up for the whole family. First, for the firstborn. Many first-borns then remember all their lives how they were not given enough, cheated, not bought, etc. The idyll in the family is over. Mom and dad gently cooing over their chick - this is a picture that has remained in the past.

Now there is an order of magnitude more disorder in the house :-) Every now and then you can hear cries of "mine! no, mine!" and "take me in your arms! no, me!" It doesn't matter what age the kids are. As it turned out, seven-year-olds can also ask for pens, I suspect that children repeat this request for as long as the parents' spine can withstand.

With two children, you can no longer calmly watch TV, read a book or lie in a fragrant bath while your spouse entertains the heir. A rare spouse will agree to entertain (and separate, and change clothes, etc., etc.) both while you are embroidering an hour with a cross.

Another heavy "boom" that falls on your head is the need to share your love between two children. Your only sun, a bunny, a sweetie and a baby, around which two parents jumped, as well as grandparents, ceases to be the center of attention. Everything. I'm telling you the good times are over :-)

But it was not in vain that I drew an analogy with the landing of an airplane. When your family stops shaking, you will feel a gradual decrease in speed and bliss. You have reached a completely new level - the level of your parents (at least among my acquaintances, most of them have a brother or sister).

Now you are not just a family, but a family with two children. If the children are also of different sexes, then most will call you an ideal family, you can now shoot an advertisement for ketchup or bouillon cubes about you.

You will soon find yourself becoming calmer and calmer. Children (especially same-sex and with a small difference in age) perfectly entertain each other, and at this time you can calmly drink tea and talk occasionally being distracted by cries of "mine! no, mine!" and trying to separate the kids.

In addition, when the second child arrives, the mother no longer goes crazy, feeling locked in four walls with a crying baby. She now has an older son or daughter to talk to. Even with a three-year-old there is something to talk about, and even six-seven-year-olds, etc. - absolutely reasonable creatures, one might say, adults.

What are two grown children, I still have a bad idea, but no matter how life goes, a brother or sister is a dear person for life. Friends and spouses, unfortunately, have the opportunity to come and go, and a brother or sister is, so to speak, native blood. And if grown children do not maintain relationships, this, I am almost convinced, is the fault of the parents. And we, being in the role of parents, should think about how not to bring our children to this.

Three children

To be honest, the appearance of a third child in the family may not be noticed :-) He changes the lives of parents so little compared to the first two children that there is not even anything to talk about.

If you have two children, then you have already deprived yourself of most of the pleasures - there is no line of grandmothers who are ready to sit with two children to let you go to the theater or even on a trip abroad. It is rare for a grandmother to be enthusiastic about the idea of babysitting two children while you have fun.

With one grandson (and even taking turns with your mother-in-law if you are a mother-in-law) - why not stay? And with two - this is so much a headache that not every grandmother can handle it. Grandmothers immediately begin to complain about age, poor health, nerves that can not stand the screams and disorder in the house, so you, as parents of two children, are most likely not spoiled for rest, so the appearance of a third child will not change anything.

And you already have a full house of children's things, there are simply more of these things than adults! And the experience of the parent is enough so as not to run to the pediatrician with any pimple, temperature of 36.7, or if the child does not eat squash puree badly. And in order to establish breastfeeding, you no longer need to call your friends and consult on forums, and you can probably dilute the mixture with your eyes closed, and change diapers without looking, and don’t iron diapers for a long time on both sides, and in general, and in general , and generally speaking.

However, not everything is so smooth. First, with the advent of the third child, the second turns into a sandwich child. He is sandwiched between the younger and the older, and he needs a lot of attention, but how to give it if there are so many children at home. Spontaneity disappears completely from life. Everything, even attention, has to be planned, no matter how terrible it sounds.

Secondly, once in the book "Is It Easy to Be a Dad" I read a wonderful statement by the father of three children: when there are two children, parents can deal with them one on one, when there are more than two children, parents turn into all-round defense.

And indeed it is. When the number of children exceeds the number of parents, you need to get used to it and learn to live with it. The times when dad reads a book to one child, and mom bathes and feeds the second at this time, remain in the past.

If one child gets a book, then the second and third need to be bathed and fed together, and if one of them wants to sleep, and the second does not, then the first one is left without a book and is offended. So, you need to try to quickly put the second to bed and return to the first, but while the second is being laid, the first and third will be furious, because it is impossible to occupy them with something at the same time.

Now imagine that all three children are small, and one parent puts them to bed in the evenings, because the second one comes home late from work, and you will seriously think about whether it is worth giving birth to three children :-)

How easily I endured the birth of my third child morally, how hard it became physically for me. If it is not easy to break between two children, then it is absolutely impossible to break between three.

On one forum, a mother of four children wrote that she noticed that she did not walk around the house, but ran around. I can sometimes say the same about myself. Life turns into eternal washing, cleaning, cooking, checking lessons (imagine that you have three schoolchildren - I'm even afraid to think about it), and everyone needs to go to circles, and everyone needs to talk, read to everyone, play with everyone. And when two people cry at the same time, it's generally possible to go crazy. But three people can cry if they have a small age difference.

If your only child is a swimmer and needs to be taken to the pool twice a week, this can be tolerated somehow. And if three children go swimming, and all at different times, then you need to go to the pool six times a week. And if plus this older one needs twice a week for karate, the middle one for music, and the younger one for drawing or English, you will understand why there is no free time with three children.

Somewhere in a parallel world live people who watch TV, read books, slowly drink coffee, go for walks without a baby stroller, do not get up at night, can invite friends over and sit quietly with them. With three small children, this world is completely inaccessible and only supports the idea that the children will get older, and then ...

If after the birth of the second child you understand how easy it was for you with one, then after the birth of the third it becomes quite clear to you that you complained about life in vain, and two children are very easy. And one child is not a problem at all. With one child, you can have a wonderful holiday.

But everything is not as scary as I say :-) Students have a proverb: "the first year you work for the student's record, the next years the student's record works for you."

With three kids, there comes a point where you find all three of them quietly playing in their room, and then the older one warms up soup and feeds the middle one while you're busy with the younger one.

To provide children with communication in a team, you no longer need to go to the playground or endure different friends at home ;-) Your children will have some kind of team, of course, the eldest suffers somewhat in this case, but the two younger ones are completely delighted and reach for the eldest in development.

The main idea that I wanted to convey, answering the question “how is it with three children?” Is that it is very easy to get used to a third child morally. But physically it's not easy. The last time I was so physically tired was when I entered the institute, and we were sent to the collective farm to harvest potatoes. From morning to evening we worked in the field, almost without unbending. And in the evening they fell down. That's about how I feel for the last year - physically exhausted.

However, it's not all that scary. Learn how to manage your time, energy and other resources efficiently. You rejoice when you succeed :-) You rejoice that now you have not just a family, but a big family.

I once read how to explain to a child that he will have a sister or brother if the child is worried that he will be less loved. You need to tell him that love is light. When you light another candle, the light becomes more. And when another child is born, there is more love.

Somehow it really is :-)

It is no secret that after the collapse of the Soviet Union, the situation with childbearing for some time in Russia, as in other post-Soviet states, was very bad. However, now the situation has improved significantly. In addition, in order to encourage young families to actively replenish the country's demographic fund, the state allocates significant funds for material assistance and benefits for families with a large number of children.

Today we will find out what is required when a third child is born, what benefits and benefits can be relied upon in connection with the addition of a family in the regions of the country.

Payments to families after the birth of the third baby in 2019

So, when a third child appears in the family, his parents can rely on the following types of payments:

payments in connection with pregnancy and childbirth;
a one-time allowance upon admission to a medical institution in the early stages of pregnancy;
lump-sum payments when the baby is born;
allowance for caring for him during vacation up to one and a half years;
regional "governor's" payments;
maternal capital;
assistance for education up to 16 years;
payments for children up to the age of three.

Also, for the third child, starting for several years in a row in a number of regions where population growth is low, special separate allowance.

Payments for the third or fourth child, like all others, are divided into federal and regional. Let's look at what you need to get them and how much they are paid. For example, let's take regional payments in the Yaroslavl region.

Federal benefits for the birth of babies in large families

The one-time allowance is about 17,479.73 rubles. To receive it to the social protection authorities and to work, they provide:

birth certificate of the third or subsequent baby;
a certificate from the father's place of work that he does not receive a similar allowance;
a statement to the social authority if the parents do not work or are full-time students;
documents of one of the parents;
extracts from the last place of employment or military ID;
a certificate stating that the allowance was not previously paid.

The amount of the monthly allowance, which is paid until the third and subsequent child reaches the age of 1.5 years, depends on the date of birth of the baby. If he was born before February 1, 2019, then the amount will be 6284.65 rubles, if after this date - 6554.89 rubles.

The required documents for its execution are similar to the previous ones, also work book required with a record of dismissal or a copy of the order from the place of work on granting leave to the employee to care for the baby.

Parents with many children in the Russian Federation can also apply for maternity capital in the amount of 453,026 rubles. The following categories are eligible to receive this payment:

Having given birth to a second child since 2007.
Having given birth to a third child since 2007, provided that they have not previously used additional state resources related to their support. A prerequisite for obtaining maternity capital is the presence of citizenship of the Russian Federation from parents.

Regional payments for the third child

Regional benefits in this area, paid at the birth of a third baby in the family, as well as benefits that parents can apply for, are as follows:

A one-time payment at birth (about 7 thousand rubles) is assigned on the basis of an application to the social security authorities at the place of residence, a passport, a birth certificate and, if necessary, a copy of the decision to adopt a child.
Regional family capital - is assigned at the birth or adoption of the third or next child, provided that the family will permanently reside in the region for at least a year and a half from the date of birth of the baby. It is paid one and a half years after the replenishment of the family in the amount of about 56,606 rubles.
A one-time allowance for the birth of two or more babies at once - the amount of the allowance is about 42,720 rubles, and parents can apply for it when they provide documents on residence in the region, as well as on the birth of children and their registration.
Monthly regional payments for low-income families - up to three years, an amount of 650 rubles is received monthly and from three to adulthood 400, respectively. To receive such a payment, parents must provide the social security authorities with their documents and documents of the child, as well as income statements indicating the need for this payment.
Monthly payments at the birth of the third and next baby - the amount of the allowance is 8 thousand rubles. An allowance is assigned to families whose income per member is below the average market indicator within the Yaroslavl region. You can apply for the receipt by submitting to the social authority documents confirming the identity of the parents and the newborn, as well as registration in the region and the level of income for each of the family members.
Compensation of expenses for paying utilities and housing in the amount of 30% to large families - this is how at the regional level they can compensate for the costs of repairing a private home or in an apartment building, as well as paying utility bills on a monthly basis.
Free supplies of medicine to children from large families under 6 years old.
Free travel in municipal transport of the city and suburbs within the region.
Free admission to state museums in the region for children and their parents.
Benefits for large families in the form of priority admission to kindergartens, based on a relevant application from parents.
Free meals for representatives of low-income families with many children at school twice a day.
One-time free meals at school for members of large families, regardless of the financial situation of the family.
Free acquisition of land in the region for individual construction and personal farming for families with three or more children.
Improvement of living conditions for large families, in the form of benefits for the purchase or construction of housing for categories of citizens in need of improved living conditions.

Benefits for the birth of a third child for all residents of the Russian Federation in 2019

So, we have considered, using the example of one of the regions, what large families with three or more children can apply for. Now let's find out what benefits for such categories exist at the federal level.

If the family has at least three minor children, then its members can count on to buy your own home mortgages on attractive terms. Thus, the interest rate when registering an apartment in a mortgage will be less than five percent per year, and there will be no need to pay the first installment.

Partially, this type of lending will be repaid from the federal budget. And in order to issue it to Sberbank, you must provide the following package of documents:

income statements of both parents;
work books;
birth certificates of all children;
copies of passports of both parents;
a special certificate issued to large families.

Benefits for utilities and other

Benefits can only be granted to members of those large families where there are at least three children who have not reached the age of majority. Their list is as follows: obtaining a certificate for obtaining housing with 90% discount, while the total length of service of the parents must be at least ten years. And at least one of them must have lived in the Russian Federation for at least 12 years.

Payment for regular utilities with 50% discount with the possibility of monetary compensation of the required amount.

This type of benefits is offered for children from large families the following benefits subject to confirmation of the status of a large family:

obtaining a special scholarship in the universities of the country;
tuition fees at a university with a 50% discount if the child is studying under a contract;
until adulthood - free education in sports, music and art schools;
visiting theaters, museums, exhibitions;
the possibility of obtaining a free ticket to a summer camp;
in case of illness, medicines prescribed to the child by a doctor are provided free of charge if there is a certificate from a member of a large family.

As we have already considered on the example of the Yaroslavl region, children under the age of eighteen from families with three or more children are entitled to such a number of regional benefits as free pass in public transport in the region.

Families can also count on additional financial assistance at the birth of a third baby up to three years old and get the opportunity to become the owner of your own plot of land for free.

In addition, at the federal level, there is the possibility of providing assistance in the employment of adult members of large families, obtaining additional or first education for them, as well as early retirement.

If your family has a third or fourth child, by all means contact the social security office of the population in your region at the place of residence, to find out in detail what payments and benefits you, your children and other members of your family can apply for personally.

There were two, there were three - what, it would seem, is the difference?
The difference, especially at first, is capital.

When the third child is born, the usual methods of control stop working. In the nursery and in the head of the mother, chaos may temporarily set in, since the situation in some way resembles the revolutionary one - "the top cannot, the bottom do not want."

If earlier, while there were two children, the situation could be controlled in one way or another - in one hand of one, in the other - of the other, now, figuratively speaking, there are not enough hands.

And until new ways of managing arise and working parenting techniques are found, it can be very difficult for parents.

What problems can arise at a time when a family is just becoming a large family, and what recommendations can be given to resolve them?

Rejection by older relatives of the number of children in the family
There is such a law in family psychology: it is easy for grandparents to accept the number of children in young families that does not exceed the number of children they themselves gave birth to. There are exceptions, of course, but they only prove the rule.

Therefore, do not be surprised and try not to be too upset if one of your relatives did not express joy at the news of the birth of the third grandson. You can even hear harsh words of condemnation in such a situation. And it can be very difficult for parents to deal with resentment.

But, as experience shows, when time passes and this third baby grows up, grandparents, who found it difficult to accept the news of his birth, begin to love him and participate in his upbringing no less than it was with older children.

The traditional hierarchical structure of a large family
Many modern families are characterized by child-centrism, that is, a focus on the child - the king of nature, and his needs. With such a family structure, the needs of precious children are met at the highest level, but adults can be perceived as servants, and children have a high chance of growing up to be selfish.

But just from the time when there are three children, such a family arrangement ceases to be viable.

It becomes clear that parents are the main people, they are more important than children in the family.

Dad and mom become the "ruling elite", more or less democratic, and the children form the "people". And it doesn't hurt them at all. They occupy a normal childish subordinate position. After all, parental power is not despotic, it is based on love. And children grow up much more calmly when they are firmly convinced that adults know how, what and when to do. Children develop much better when they are not overwhelmed by the choices and attentions of their parents and the ambitions and aspirations of the family.

Children's and parent areas
The dominant position of parents should be confirmed by the presence of some, albeit a very small, personal zone. And the point here is not only the total number of square meters per person in the family, although, of course, crowding can exacerbate problems in relationships. We are talking about the fact that not the whole apartment or house turns into a nursery, knee-deep littered with toys and parts from designers. And if you do not clearly distinguish between children's and adult zones, this will definitely happen, because toys tend to spread around the apartment, and almost no one likes to clean them.

It is better for parents to clearly agree with their children about where toys “live” and where they do not live.

In addition, in my opinion, even with a minimum amount of space in the apartment, there should be an inviolable zone for dad - at least in the size of an armchair.

It’s also good if mom’s zone is not only the kitchen, but she has her own calm and cozy corner.

There may be such a law in a family - if a person is in his personal zone - no one tries not to touch him.

The fact that parents are also people, they need rest and they have their own desires and needs, children should clearly understand.

Family laws and child-parent agreement
The first and most important law is that in a family, parents are more important than children.
The second is that parents are also people, not service personnel.
Third, there are times and situations when adults want to be without children.

And all sorts of "little laws":
The needs of the pope are met first.
First the baby, then the older children.
The oldest has more responsibilities, but also more privileges.
Everyone in the family has the right to be alone. No one should be against their desire to play with others.

Your family may have its own laws that differ from those that I have named, but it is important that they are clearly formulated (and in those families where there are children who read, even written down), and that each of the children, starting from 3- x years of age, knew them and tried to comply.

And most importantly, adults should not have disagreements about what is possible in the family and what is not. Otherwise, it will be very difficult for children to comply with these laws. Contradictory demands of parents often give rise to bad behavior of children.

Parents are the main
Very often, with the birth of a third child, the time of the liberal-democratic, and even conniving style of upbringing in the family ends. If the parents of this "powerful bunch" do not take power into their own hands, the life of the family risks turning into chaos.

It was not for nothing that many primitive peoples considered it this way: one - two - many.

When there are many children, slightly different methods of education and forms of government are used. And parents first intuitively begin to use new educational techniques, and only then they notice this and begin to reflect on this issue.

Parents should in every possible way show their children that they are able to cope with a situation of any degree of complexity without internal hysteria and screaming.

Justified authoritarianism and authoritative parenting style
If you roll a stroller and two trailers are attached to it on both sides, you will have fewer opportunities to ask about the wishes of each of the children. You would rather just tell them exactly where you will go for a walk today. Will children suffer from this? Rather not - it all depends on the form of presentation and on the mood of the mother. In most cases, children easily accept certainty on the part of their parents, if this certainty does not contain aggression and ill will. Children are comfortable when next to them is someone calm, big and in charge.

Normal amount of parental attention
Since there are three children, each of them gets a normal amount of attention, not an excessive amount of attention from their parents. The fact is that normal dad and mom are “programmed” not for one child at all, but for at least 2-3.

There are a lot of children, and after all, children, as you know, are gaseous creatures. They take up all the space provided to them. One child claims full parental attention, two share it, three sometimes take their parents by storm.

Do not try to give all three of them all the attention at the same time - this is technically unrealistic, and besides, no parent's heart can withstand this.

On the contrary, the more children in the family, the better they play with each other, because they have the opportunity to choose playing partners, and the psychological space becomes wider. Of course, these words refer to the time when the third child grows up and becomes a full participant in games and pranks.

Personal time for everyone
Children in large families greatly appreciate individual parental attention.
That little time when dad or mom does not have to share with anyone can be a serious encouragement for children, much better than candy.

The special position of the eldest of the children
The eldest child is the only one of all who remembers his "royal" position - when he was the only one, and he did not have to share parental attention with anyone.

The older child, as a rule, should become an adult quite early. Brothers and sisters born after him do not let him back into the psychological niche of a baby for a minute. And sometimes he just wants to be small. This is a normal desire of the elder to sometimes be a baby, parents need to understand and not condemn too harshly.

The dangers of being a "parentified child"
If an older child is overburdened with the responsibilities of taking care of the younger ones, he may begin to be burdened by the fact that he has brothers and sisters. Therefore, his help to you, parents, should be dosed and correspond to his age capabilities. A preschooler cannot rock a stroller with a baby for too long. A schoolboy can have fun playing with a baby for no more than half an hour. The older child should have the right to his life, his time and hobbies. Then he will voluntarily and freely begin to deal with the kids. And you will not instill in him from childhood an aversion to housework and sitting with children.

1st and 2nd are the same team.
Shortly, 2-3 months before the birth of the third child, it is worth uniting the eldest and youngest child in one room and try to make their sleep and wakefulness modes synchronous. It will be psychologically easier for the second child, who has now ceased to be the youngest, to accept the third child if the eldest takes him to his company. How to implement this technically depends heavily on the age of the children and the age difference between them.

Try to come up with different activities for the two older children. When the third baby is born, the two older ones form a team, and the distance separating this team from the parents increases. If two elders feel good and interesting together, they will become less disturbing to their parents and demand attention to themselves.

A mother of several children needs to be something of a crowd entertainer, who is always ready with several options for activities or ideas for games that can captivate older children.

Independence of older children
It is important to try to make this “older couple” as autonomous as possible at their age. If the kids can clean up the nursery on their own, great. If you can bathe them together and even leave them in the bathroom for a while, great. If your children are able to go to bed on their own, you will have the opportunity to at least talk a little with your husband.

The more things your two elders are able to do on their own and peacefully, the better you cope with your parenting responsibilities.

Ability to delegate functions and powers
Maybe it sounds somehow too complicated and scientific, but in fact we are talking about a rather simple thing - mom and dad of three or more children do not have to do everything for everyone themselves and do everything in time. On the contrary, parental effectiveness in a large family largely depends on the ability to redistribute responsibilities and share affairs. Even preschool children can help their mother significantly both with the housework and with the baby. It is only important that this help be feasible and not look routine.

Housekeepers live and mechanical
Now that there are several children, that is, many, you can really afford all the household help available to the family. If you have someone to shift the general cleaning, ironing and routine cooking - do it without a shadow of a doubt. Then the chances that each of the children will get a little parental attention increase.

Learn to deal with situations when hands are not enough
The main thing that parents of three children will have to learn is to accept the situation when there are not enough hands without panic. Some things can be learned to look at easier.

You can review the priority system and decide what you do at the beginning, and what you may not have time to do at all. In some situations, you can easily turn to relatives or your husband for help. Something older kids can do just fine.
Etc.

Mom and dad of three children in about six months may be surprised to find that their life positions have changed in many respects. They themselves have become different and the behavior of older children has changed significantly - they have become more organized, independent and sane.

But if six months have passed since the birth of the third, and the mother is still in a state of collapse or prostration, and the children have become more whiny, aggressive or neurotic, then this is a reason to turn to a specialist.

Don't raise the bar too high
Often at the time when the third child is born, the eldest or older just start going to school or attending various classes. And in a big city, as we know, transporting children to schools, studios and circles sometimes requires just a full-time driver.

If you start to overstrain, making a tight schedule of moving from one children's center to another with a baby in a car seat, you will have little energy to communicate with children, and the smallest sleep rhythms may be disturbed and the nervous system exhausted.

Tell yourself honestly that you are not able to do everything, focusing on the standards of a family with one child. There is a popular proverb “you can’t jump above your head”. However, parents of three or more children often try to prove to themselves, their parents and everyone around them that they can do everything on their own.

It is very important not to overstrain, because being parents is a long time.

And a few more tips
Try to make the life of older children rich and structured.
Try to transfer the second, that is, the former junior, under the tutelage of the elder.
Emphasize in every possible way that they are not rivals, but a team.
Do not make an older old man and your main assistant overloaded with responsibility.
It is important for a mother to be alone with the baby for some time.
Perfectionism and striving for perfection - no!
Resign yourself to the fact that you can’t do everything, and things in the house will never end.
If there are several children, it is important to correctly place accents and choose priorities, separating the important from the unimportant.
Do not try to manage everything and participate in everything, it is better to give the children game ideas and housework in time
Find an opportunity at least sometimes to get out somewhere without a baby with the elders. They greatly appreciate such outings.
The main thing is that the parents survive. Leave power for yourself and your husband. Remember that parents are primary and children are secondary. Don't be too sacrificial parents.

The system of state, regional and local measures to support motherhood and childhood is aimed at encouraging the birth of every baby. The number and composition of possible benefits increase markedly if a third child appears in the family.

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State support measures

A large family has the right to use various support measures that are directly related to the birth of a third baby.

They include:

benefits at the birth of 3 children for gratuitous re-registration of rights to a land plot;
benefits for families with two and more children when participating in mortgage lending programs:the period from 01/01/2018 to 12/31/2022 in the Russian Federation there is a federal program of preferential mortgage lending with state subsidizing of interest at a rate of over 6%;
benefits for 3 children on utility bills;
early retirement of the mother;
priority measures in the educational process;
priority drug provision;
free or preferential right to visit theaters, museums, exhibitions.

Attention! The legal basis for the implementation of each measure of social support will be the submission of a document confirming the birth of a third minor citizen - a birth certificate.

Reasons for receiving benefits

At the birth of a third child, benefits are directly related to the assignment of the status of having many children. Since the presence of three minor children in most regions of the country gives parents the right to be considered a large family, this legal status must be confirmed by obtaining the appropriate document.

Attention! Such confirmation is carried out in the bodies of social protection of the population by issuing an appropriate certificate or certificate.

The status that gives the right to the implementation of benefits of any level retains legal significance until the children reach the age of 16 or 18 years (the age depends on the region of residence and is regulated by local law). After the specified age, at least one of the three minor children, the right to the benefits provided earlier is lost, provided that there are less than three minor children in the family.

What are the payments for the birth of a third child

As with the birth of each previous newborn, parents are entitled to receive the following compensation payments:

a one-time allowance at the birth of a child;
monthly child care allowance.

These types of payments are guaranteed and are established at the birth of each citizen.

In addition, a certificate for mother capital can act as a benefit for families with 3 children if citizens did not participate in this program after the birth of a second minor.

Attention! At the regional or local level, payments of a one-time or monthly nature may be provided for upon the birth of a third child.

Their composition must be clarified at the place of residence in the social protection authorities or local administrations.

Provision of a land plot

The most significant measure of support is the opportunity to receive ownership of a land plot from a municipal or state fund free of charge.

The third child in the family makes it possible for all family members to participate in the implementation of this benefit, i.e. the land allotment will be registered in the ownership of not only the newborn, but also other children, including those already of age, as well as their parents.

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How to get a plot

If a 3rd child was born in the family, in order to implement the benefits for the free acquisition of rights to a land plot, the following steps must be performed:

apply to the local authority authorized to distribute land;
submit a mandatory package of documents, including birth certificates and passports;
draw up cadastral documentation for the site;
obtain an act of gratuitous transfer of a land plot on behalf of the head of the local authority;
register the right of ownership in the bodies of Rosreestr.

Additional terms

If citizens already legally owned land (for example, under a lease), they will be able to re-register the rights to an existing plot or apply for a new allotment.
If there was no land in the possession at the time of the birth of the third baby, the procedure for implementing preferences will provide for the formation of a new plot and securing rights to it.
It will also be necessary to confirm the existence of marital relations between citizens, with the exception of cases where only one parent is raising minors.

Attention! Families with many children at the birth of a third child will be provided with a plot only subject to the territorial qualification - it is necessary to live in the territory of this subject of the Russian Federation for up to five years (the exact period of residence may vary in different regions).

Regional benefits

Let us consider what benefits at the birth of a third child can be realized by citizens, in addition to acquiring the right to own land.

At the local and regional level, citizens get the opportunity to implement the following areas:

priority right to provide places in preschool institutions;
a discount on utilities or a refund of funds paid for housing and communal services through local social protection authorities (the discount can be up to 30%);
provision of free meals in general educational institutions and institutions of primary and secondary education;
gratuitous nature of drug provision for minors under the age of 6 years;
registration of free travel documents for minors, and in a number of regions - for all family members;
monthly cash payments in the amount of the subsistence minimum until the third child reaches 3 years;
regional maternity capital at the birth of the third or fourth child;
free education of children in art, sports, music schools;
free provision of textbooks and other benefits.

Attention! To find out what benefits are provided for the birth of 3 children in your region, you need to contact the social protection authorities at the place of residence.

Most social support measures are implemented through these institutions, and the composition of these measures may change annually by decision of local and regional authorities.

Another important support measure will be a discount when paying taxes on a vehicle owned by one of the parents on the right of ownership. The provision of this preference is carried out by the tax authority, subject to confirmation of the fact of the birth of a third baby.

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Last changes

In 2018, the Government of the Russian Federation expanded the list of subjects of the Russian Federation receiving federal subsidies to provide monthly cash payments in the amount of the living wage
families with 3 or more children. Now there will be 60 such regions.

Read this article:

The appearance of a baby in the family is undoubtedly a holiday. Especially if it's the first child. But for any couple, the birth of children entails many difficulties. Including difficulties in relationships with each other. Experienced parents who have already accumulated knowledge about raising children behind their backs can say with confidence: do not be afraid of difficulties! Together you will overcome all troubles and crises, the main thing is to love your family. Now your first-born has grown up, soon you will need to seriously think about his preparation for school. It is at this moment that parents begin to think about a second child, because the age difference will not be so big, and you already miss caring for a newborn. The second child is already a truly deliberate step, before which the parents weighed all the pros and cons. For many couples, two children in a family is the limit. But family psychologists often tend to believe that if there are already two children, then the third child in the family will change the life of the parents a little. In addition, the state always supports such an initiative and pays benefits, which for 2014 are as follows.

One-time allowance for the 3rd child in the family

It is received by the mother of the child or a person replacing the parents, as well as caring for the newborn. For example, a guardian, relatives or adoptive parent. The amount of the lump-sum allowance for 2014 is 13,731 rubles. It is paid to the parent at the place of work, who provided the necessary package of documents and an application to the accounting department. The payment term is up to 10 days after all the above procedures.

Allowance for the care of a child up to one and a half years

These are monthly payments at the place of work of the parent who submitted an application and a package of necessary documents to the accounting department. It is calculated as follows: 40% of the average income for 2 years before pregnancy. The allowance can be received by guardians or relatives who actually care for the baby. The minimum amount of such benefits is 2567 rubles. 63 kopecks, maximum - 14625 rubles.

Monthly allowance for caring for a child up to 3 years

Payments are made at the place of work of the mother, but can also be assigned to other persons caring for the child. To receive benefits, you must submit a package of documents and an application to the accounting department.

Maternal capital

Maternity capital is provided once, if you did not use it at the birth of your first child, then you may be issued a certificate of family capital for subsequent children. If the second and third children are twins or twins, the capital is not doubled. For 2014, its size amounted to 429,408 rubles. 50 kop. A man can also receive maternity capital if he is the only adopter of the child, and the adoption order has already entered into force. The family receives maternity capital in the territorial office of the Pension Fund, you must have a full package of documents with you. The term of circulation for receiving capital is unlimited.

Family problems arising from the birth of a third child

The birth of a third child is a kind of family strength test. Not everyone passes it. As a rule, most husbands in the first two or three weeks “fly” with happiness, help their spouse in everything, try to spend more time with their newborn. But soon they get bored of it, and they begin to stay late at work, disappear with friends and find a thousand reasons to be less at home. They are annoyed by children's crying, which has reappeared in the house, dirty diapers, undershirts and sliders. “He doesn't need us. He doesn't come home on purpose to do nothing. He doesn’t help with the baby at all,” many young mothers think so. However, you can look at the situation from the other side, look through the eyes of a man. There are several points here, and often the woman herself does everything to ensure that her husband is less likely to be with his family.

First, men are no different from children. Despite their masculinity and independence, they also need care and love. With the advent of the third child, the woman completely forgets about her husband: now there are many children in the family. Often, men begin to be jealous of their spouse for their own children, especially when there are three of them. They feel unwanted and look for ways to forget, for example, by immersing themselves in work or trying to compensate for the lack of attention by spending time with friends or flirting with other women.

Secondly, they are accustomed to a measured lifestyle, and the appearance of a third child is a real stress for them. Although men are a strong half of humanity, they cannot withstand the flow of problems that have fallen on them and simply try to minimize them.

Thirdly, they are accustomed to seeing a woman well-groomed, decently dressed, cheerful and contented. But due to lack of time, the spouse often forgets that she needs to wash her hair, comb her hair and put herself in order. Eternally sleepy and exhausted by caring for children, the wife grumbles at her husband and takes out her anger on him. Who will like it?

No need to think that the husband does not notice the untidiness of his wife. As you know, a man loves with his eyes. Find some time for yourself. Send your husband for a walk with the child, and do yourself a face mask and makeup, relax, let the household chores wait. And stop scolding your husband for every little thing. Look for reasons within yourself. Try to understand your man. Do not forget about him, let him not consider himself a third wheel. Involve your husband in helping with the housework and caring for the newborn, then the young father will feel needed.

By listening to these simple tips, you will find family happiness, your husband will rush home and try to spend all his free time with you and the child. After all, nothing can replace the warm and tender feelings that arise in the mother-child-father triangle. And the birth of your third child will be a huge celebration for both of you.

What parents need to know when planning a second or third child

Researchers in the field of perinatal medicine cannot accurately answer one of the most popular questions: is it worth waiting several years between births and how reasonable is a gap of 2-3 years. Let's get acquainted with brief descriptions of the opinions of experts on this matter.

Some research confirms the notion that 1.5-2 years is the ideal break for the continuation of childbearing function. The body must gain strength before it again provides the fetus with vital trace elements. If the interval between pregnancies is less than 17 months, then there is a huge risk that the child will be underweight or premature. In the event that a child was conceived after five years from the last birth, he is also at risk.

Scientists are sure that the mother's body needs time to recover and make up for all the lack of nutrients that he lost during the last pregnancy. The changes that the body has undergone during the period of the last bearing of a child will make it possible to bear another one only after 18-25 months. Blood flow to the uterus, which has increased during a previous pregnancy, will favorably affect the new baby.

If you do not plan to become pregnant at all, then after two years the blood flow will return to its normal state, which was before pregnancy. Professor J. Kidwell is of the opinion that the best time for a second child is when your eldest is either less than a year old or already 4 years old. This is the best difference in terms of relationships between children, their self-esteem and relationships with parents, since children under the age of ideas about themselves as a separate person, and children after 4 years old had enough time to enjoy parental attention, besides, they already have their own life. According to research, the benefits of this age difference between children extend to when they are teenagers.