When the wife is older than the husband. mixed age marriage

I don't want to console you or vice versa, about I'll tell you a hundred about my communication with such a family - these are our best friends. They have been living together for 30 years, the husband is 51, the wife is 63. They have no joint children, I think everything was there, like you have: she is his first woman. But she has a daughter from her first marriage, whom he raised, since when they got married, her daughter was 2 years old. This is an absolutely amazing couple with their own world and tender relationships. Moreover, the husband has a fairly high status in the medical world, where, as you know, there are a lot of women, but this does not touch him in any way, I even remember that he was indignant last year about how to visit him at the New Year's Frokosta - there is such a crazy, purely Danish evening, before their Christmas, where all employees are required to be and various indecent things often happen, but this is not the right topic at all, and so, our friend indignantly told how one of his employees, a new one, approached him and began to ask him about his family life. And his wife did not share his indignation and said that she could talk to the girl ...
But I know that she is worried about her wrinkles, tightens her eyelids, sits on the strictest diet, where she even counts the number of glasses of water drunk per day ... And she is very afraid of becoming unnecessary to him, right now, for the first time in 30 thought about it for years. But now they have common grandchildren who fully load their leisure time and travel.
Another brother from this family was even more interesting, but I'll tell you about it tomorrow, but for today I bow out to everyone good night))

"Father had three sons: the eldest was a smart kid, the middle one was - this way and that, the youngest was a fool at all".
It's exactly like the old fairy tale, but in the family of our friends, the sister also "got in." I'll keep quiet about it until the appropriate topic))

So, I talked about the elder. About the average:

At first I heard about him, about two years, but what I heard was impressive: at the age of 18, he married a woman 20 years older and lived with her for about 25 years, she was very ill in recent years, but he was with her until her last breath.
When she died, he sawed his and her wedding rings and twisted one ring from two halves, made it himself, so at first it was painful to wear, the finger bled, then everything healed - the ring is now on it, I saw. According to the stories of my friend, the late wife idolized Henrik during her lifetime, she supported him in all his undertakings, supported him until she completed her education and began to earn money herself, and there were no questions about who pays more for what, there was love - like a song, like one breath.
After the death of his wife, Henrik shut himself up in anguish and grief, all attempts by our friends to introduce him, "to bring him together" ended in failure, he played the organ (in this family, all children play instruments, which is very common in Denmark) in the church, they "nailed" him ” various parishioners, rich and aged, but none fit. He spent his time at work, in church and at home playing the piano...

After such stories, I imagined a weak-minded uncle, with the appearance of a holy fool from the opera "Boris Godunov", and when we met for the first time, at one of the concerts, where our friends are great walkers, and not alone, but usually with us and with brothers - sister our friend.
So, I was introduced to a handsome man in the spirit of Alain Delon in his best film for me, The Black Tulip, and this was the inconsolable widower. He works as the chief analyst of one of the largest Danish economic firms, is successful and moneyed, and the brides are behind him. But he, after several inconsolable years of widowhood, managed to choose from a huge variety of ladies exactly the one who turned out to be a poor girl deprived of upbringing, all her childhood squandered between her mother's husbands and father's wives. She seemed to be waiting for our Henrik to pour out all her negativity on the world around him. She is 10 years younger than him.
At first, Henrik invited Ida, that's the girl's name, to Prague for the New Year, but she went on a hiking trip in winter Norway, and our friends went on trips.

But Henrik went through a good school of family life and nevertheless achieved a girl: I remember, it was 2 years ago, we were together in Rome. We were pulling juices or water on a hot afternoon in a street cafe, when all the shops in Rome close for a siesta, a weeping Ida came up to us and murmured that she was not served in the store with a gold credit card that Henrik gave her, but threatened to call the police that she stole it. Henrik silently put down the glass, took her by the hand and walked with leaps and bounds towards the store, the girl walked on a par with him, so she is a real daughter of the Vikings - 180 cm tall, and everything else corresponds, except for the nervous system.
In general, we danced around the museums and dungeons of Rome, and Ida and Henrik danced around the shops. Every day, when we gathered at the fountain in the center of the Transtevere district where we lived, Ida appeared in new stunning new clothes that barely fit on her large body, but her eyes burned with such adoration for Henrik that we all smiled ....
The story is not over yet. Ida wanted to get married and have children - her dispersal was cooled by Henrik. He said that they would live together, but, here, children and so on .... Ida was offended for a month, then returned to Henrik again.
Now the “war” has begun for the alteration of the house, which was the museum of the deceased wife, where every little thing lay in its place, how else did she put everything ...
Henrik reluctantly agreed to the alteration of the house. We began to meet much less often - Ida stubbornly "led" Henrik away from his usual and beloved life with classical concerts, leisurely conversations over a glass of wine after concerts, discussing the shortcomings and merits of various performers, playing styles and interpretations of works. Ida occasionally called and enthusiastically told what furniture Henrik bought for the bedroom, what stove she ordered for the kitchen. The situation escalated...
But the apotheosis of the war for influence over Henrik came when one of the two Persian cats, favorites of his late wife, began to hate Ida - she now took her place next to their precious Henrik.
Hamlet (that's the name of the cat) rushed at her with a hiss, as soon as she crossed the threshold of the apartment. He tore apart her new clothes with his claws, as if deliberately choosing those that were more expensive ...
Ida said:
- Or me, or cats.
Well, it's not hard to guess that Henrik chose cats...

This is how they live: both are preoccupied with their careers, sometimes they meet, Ida does not want to become a member of this family, as she is wayward and clearly knows what she needs in this life. But she also cannot find someone else, for all her bright catchy appearance, since Henrik gave her exactly that family warmth and strength of stability, which she was deprived of all her childhood ...
And these brothers still have a mother, stepfather and father ... But this is the next, very unusual story.))

When a woman is 20 years older... Is that bad? “This is terrible,” some will say, and they will drag in the relationship of “mommy and son” here. And when a man is 20 years older? “Well, this is acceptable and normal,” you will hear in response, and immediately think: “Why is this normal? Just because it's always been that way?

Now quite often couples with a reverse age difference began to arise, that is, when a woman is significantly older than a man. There is nothing surprising in this phenomenon: modern advances in science and medicine have abolished age, and women at forty and even fifty years old can look so attractive that young men willingly turn their eyes in their direction. Young men like the combination of wisdom and preserved beauty. They themselves, quite consciously make their choice.

There are more and more such couples every year, and this trend will develop, especially taking into account our domestic demographics: men barely live to 60, and women, thanks to cosmetic tricks, get younger and prettier.

Sometimes such couples are destroyed due to the fault of the women themselves, who find it difficult to cope with a non-standard age difference, they are “tormented” by their conscience, public opinion, sidelong glances, and much more.

I want to tell you about an extraordinary woman - Anna Petrovna Kern. Yes, yes, about the same Kern, who gave Pushkin such wonderful moments!

ANNA PETROVNA KERN was an extraordinary woman! Pushkin not in vain singled her out among a dozen other of his compatriots.

At the age of 16, she was married off without asking her wishes. So she became the wife of 52-year-old General Ermolai Fedorovich Kern. She obeyed the circumstances, traveled with her husband to the garrisons, listened to his martinet jokes, languished away from everything dear and dear. Occasionally, she again plunged into her native environment, into St. Petersburg balls, where her beauty flourished, and in these “wonderful moments” she managed to captivate men. Pushkin himself fell under her charm.

However, Anna Petrovna was very well aware of the price of her secular victories. She was a very smart woman and understood what place the woman of the world occupied, and bitterly wrote that Pushkin, expressing admiration for the ladies and dedicating poems to them, nevertheless, had a low opinion of his muses. He, as Anna Petrovna noted, valued their outward gloss more than the depth of their soul. Perhaps that is why she did not seek a serious romance with the great poet. She was flattered by his attention. She was proud of the honor he did her by dedicating his poems, but she gave her favor to others.

Nature generously endowed Anna Petrovna with the talent to preserve youth and beauty. At more than thirty years old, she was still fresh and charming, and in fact, according to the concepts of the 19th century, this was already the age of an old woman. Anna Petrovna Kern at this age captivated the hearts of the young. She was thirty-six when she met a sixteen-year-old cadet, Alexander Markov-Vinogradsky. At first it was just a game for her. It gave her pleasure to see how the poor young man blushed, turned pale, lost the gift of speech, being caught on the hooks of an experienced beauty. But then a real reciprocal feeling flashed in her heart.

At that time, she was still considered the wife of Yermolai Fedorovich, but they did not support marital relations. The Kern spouses lived separately, but did not file for divorce, because at that time divorce was a very complicated and expensive procedure. However, formal marriage ties did not prevent Anna Petrovna from connecting with her loved one. She gave birth to a son from him, and this was her first desired child, to whom she gave all her maternal tenderness. After the death of her official husband, forty-two-year-old Anna Kern enters into a second official marriage. She was twenty years older than her husband.

Alexander Vinogradsky was considered a failure in his midst. He was not endowed with the talents of a poet, he did not know how to make a career, although he certainly served, but his salary was barely enough to update his wife's outfits. But he had a devoted heart and knew how to love with the love that every woman dreams of.

The Vinogradskys did not live well. Anna, accustomed to luxury since childhood, nevertheless, easily abandoned her usual life. Her new marriage deprived her of a substantial pension, which she could receive for life as the widow of a hero and general. But she chose a modest life. Anna Petrovna got used to the new conditions and reduced her needs. She never reproached her husband for low incomes, but helped him as much as she could. Sometimes she tried to earn extra money by writing, translated by George Sand. In the most difficult moments of her life, she sold Pushkin's letters for five rubles apiece. Sometimes Anna Petrovna and her husband saved themselves by visiting friends or relatives. But Anna Petrovna never regretted her choice!

“Poverty has its joys,” she wrote to her relative, “and we are always happy, because there is a lot of love in us. For everything, for everything, I thank the Lord! Perhaps, under better circumstances, we would be less happy.”

And how Alexander loved her! He idolized this woman, who was admired by Pushkin, Delvig, Glinka and even the Russian emperor. Anna Petrovna carried her crown with dignity in relation to her husband. She always gently emphasized that it was she who did the honor to the young man by choosing him, and not his eminent rivals. She carefully let him know that he did not do her good by saving her from loneliness, but she, so unique, the only one in the whole world, in fact, glorified him. And really, who would remember Vinogradsky now, if not for his marriage to Anna Kern?

Her husband fully agreed with her. In his diary, he wrote: “Thank you, Lord, for being married! Without her, my darling, I would be bored with boredom. Everything is boring, except for my wife, and I am so used to her alone that she has become my necessity! What a joy to return home! How warm, good in her arms. There is no one better than my wife. "

With what dignity Anna Petrovna carried her age and never emphasized that she was older.

Anna Petrovna was already seventy... A lot of people had gathered in the spacious house. Everyone considered it an honor to treat their eminent relative. The home concert began. Glinka's great romance "I remember a wonderful moment" was performed in her honor. The “wonderful moment” burst into tears and said: “Ah, what time does with people! How inexorable!” But then Vinogradsky knelt down in front of her, began to kiss her hands and said: “Calm down, dear! Nothing compares to my love for you."

They lived, as the fairy tale says, happily ever after, for more than forty years. Her husband was the first to die, she left this world four months later

Recently, there are more and more unions in which a woman is much older than her companion. Someone looks at such a marriage with a smile, someone with sympathy, and someone is sure in advance that nothing good will come of such an “unequal” marriage. So is there a future for such relationships?

European sociologists noted that already at the beginning of our century, in every third couple going down the aisle, the bride was older than her chosen one. And in the US, a third of unmarried women date younger men. The reason for this is the current emancipation of women. Most often, a woman marries a man who is much younger, when she is not at all interested in the material side of the relationship. As a rule, such women have taken place in their careers, are provided with housing and a stable income. Therefore, support in the person of a wealthy spouse is not so important to them. It's no secret that a modern woman can feed and raise children on her own, without the help of a man. Therefore, the basic instinct is freed from social layers, and the fair sex is attracted to young and productive representatives of the stronger sex.

Myths about "unequal" marriage
The life of such a couple is under the scrutiny of others, and there are many who want to devote all their free time to discussing when this union will break up. Public opinion is much more loyal to married couples in which the husband is much older than his wife. Therefore, a woman who decides to connect her fate with a young chosen one will have to go through a lot of prejudices and abandon stereotypes before she stops paying attention to the age difference. Let's try to deal with the myths about "unequal" marriage that society imposes and understand that they have nothing to do with reality.

MYTH FIRST. Such a marriage is obviously arranged.
If a man is a gigolo, it does not depend on age at all. Men of this type will not refuse to live at the expense of a woman until old age. And if a young chosen one does not have enough money to pay for dinner in an expensive restaurant, and he invites a woman to an ordinary inexpensive cafe, this does not make him a gigolo at all.

MYTH TWO. The woman will become for him "mommy and nanny."
With a husband of any age, a woman begins to play the role of a nanny and a housewife. In this case, most likely, everything will be just the opposite: a young man will try his best to prove that he is already an adult and knows a lot about everything.

MYTH THREE. Sooner or later he will go to a young girl.
A man can live in an ordinary marriage for twenty years, and then go to the same age as his daughter. And there are many examples from life. No one can guarantee a long-term marriage. Therefore, it is better to just live with your loved one without stupid prejudices.

MYTH FOUR. Marriage of peers is the most stable.
Statistics say the opposite: about 50% of marriages of the same age break up. The reason is the sexual incompatibility of the young couple. The young wife is not yet ready for her husband's sexual activity and does not accept it. Therefore, families where the husband is 10 or more years younger than his wife do not suffer from such problems.

Benefits of such a marriage
Sexologists and psychologists argue that such "unequal" marriages have many chances for stability and longevity. The fact is that in such a marriage, the age of the husband encourages the woman to once again monitor her appearance, besides, the libido of the young husband is at its best, which undoubtedly benefits both. On average, the peak of sexuality in women occurs by the age of 30-40, and the sexiest age of a man is 18-25 years. That is why often an adult woman who has risen to her feet prefers a younger partner. From a sexual point of view, this is the most equal marriage that satisfies the needs of both men and women. A sexually rich life is only beneficial for a woman at any age, and for older ladies, sex with a beloved young man will help them stay beautiful and healthy longer. And most importantly, in alliance with a mature woman, a man “ripens” himself faster, gaining confidence and worldly wisdom. Young men who continue to live in marriage with their more mature wife have demonstrated high professional and educational growth before sociologists, although in such families the wife's leadership often remains.

How to save a relationship
There are special requirements for the appearance of a woman. A young husband is a reason to constantly keep yourself in good shape, monitor your appearance. A woman must always be at her best in order to successfully compete with young girls, so she tries to keep her youth and presentability for as long as possible - after all, appearance is of great importance, no matter how strong love is. In no case should you put your partner in the position of a child, no matter how inexperienced he may be. You can not surround a man with overprotection. A man at any age feels the need for leadership, so it is important to encourage leadership qualities, and not infantilism.

If a woman begins to crush her partner with her authority, takes the reins of government into her own hands, then sooner or later a man will find a less demanding lover. Do not relax, because an "unequal" marriage is more likely to fall apart in the first three years of its existence. Look for the advantages of such a relationship in stable feelings, the absence of tantrums, accusations and suspicions. You should not be jealous of a partner just because he is younger, and be like twenty-year-old girls who are ready to make a scandal at the slightest pretext. We must remember that jealousy is the number one enemy of your relationship. And don't forget that age comes with an obligation to be wiser.

There is no need to tell a man about your fears, forget once and for all the phrase: "Here you grow up - and leave me." No need to make a toy out of a man. If an adult woman reduces the whole point of marriage only to the fact that she does not skimp on financial expenses and gifts for her young husband, and in return expects only sex, then the man will get tired of it sooner or later. Without trust, sincerity and understanding, no relationship will last long.

Examples of a happy "unequal" fight
Of course, happy "unequal" marriages exist! And there are many examples of that. Princess Elizaveta Petrovna was eighteen years older than her second husband. They lived happily twenty years in a secret marriage. Balzac and Laura de Berni, who was twenty-two years older, had been together for a long time. The Prophet Mohammed at the age of seventeen fell in love with the forty-year-old Khadija, his first wife, and loved her for many years, even when he had numerous younger wives. The popular singer Claudia Shulzhenko was twelve and a half years older than her husband Georgy Epifanov. He carried this love throughout his life.

In a word, if a woman is older than a man, then such a couple is doomed to a happy future and the severity of disagreements at the same time, like any other couple. In fact, you should not pay attention to age, because human years are just numbers. And age is judged by the state of the soul and lifestyle. Therefore, look for a person who will become a faithful and reliable support in life, who will please the soul and the eye, who will be able to share one life for two. And let your age difference be big or small, or maybe it just won't exist, because the most important thing is love. And as you know, all ages are submissive to love! Where there is this bright feeling and desire to be together, there will be no reason for quarrels and partings.

The tradition of marrying a girl to a man who is much older than her dates back several centuries. It was then believed that a large age difference would indicate a long and strong marriage, and a woman, thanks to her older husband, would feel like behind a stone wall. But times are changing. Increasingly, you can meet a couple where not a man is older, but a woman. Last time I touched on the negative aspects of relationships in which the woman is older. But there are many good things that I did not mention ...

What are the positive features of the union in which the girl is older?

The presence of a young man, of course, will encourage a woman to take better care of herself, choose stylish clothes and shoes for herself, do anti-aging procedures, give up bad habits, and play sports. Any woman understands that a young man needs to match, otherwise he can easily be taken away. A man, in turn, will strive to look his best, because next to a beautiful girl he will need to look decent.

Paired with a more mature woman, it is easier for a man to realize himself in life, since his chosen one has more life experience, she is more serious and in many respects more perspicacious than him. The female sex begins to mature psychologically earlier than the male, because in order to continue the human race, nature endowed women with mental invulnerability and moral stability. Only next to a strong woman does a young man become truly courageous. A woman is able to give advice, warn her partner against mistakes and wrong steps due to her greater life experience. She will be able to warn the relationship from unnecessary scandals.

No matter how strange it may sound, a man is subconsciously tuned to a relationship with a more mature woman. Remember, from childhood, a man is brought up by women: mother, grandmothers, aunts, sisters; later they are nannies and kindergarten teachers and teachers at school. Therefore, it will be much easier for him to build relationships with an adult woman.

As a rule, only over the years does an understanding of their true destiny come to women. In their youth, many girls like to live in an atmosphere of idleness and entertainment, but with age they gravitate more and more towards family life. An older woman better monitors the cleanliness and aesthetic beauty of the home, she is more skilled in the culinary field and more responsible in the process of planning and raising children. Over the years, the girl becomes more feminine. She will be able to organize for the young man the much-needed comfort and coziness. Namely, because of the absence of the latter, young couples break up.

Star couples where the woman is older:

A couple where the girl is older expects the highest sexual compatibility. Sexologists have long noted that the peak of female sexuality occurs at about 27-30 years old, and male - at 21-23. His energy and ability to regenerate quickly match perfectly with her experience. Thus, both partners will be able to regularly receive maximum sexual satisfaction.

And at the end of this big topic, I would like to turn to couples where the partner is older:

1. Pay no attention to public opinion. When a man is younger than a woman - this is a common occurrence in our time. Do not think about how your friends and relatives will react. The main thing is that you love and are loved and it is good for you to be together.

2. Teach each other. The age difference is only to the benefit of both parties. You can give your young partner life experience, with you he will have more chances to achieve high results in his career. And he, in turn, will energize you and introduce you to new trends in the modern world that you cannot learn from a man of the older generation.

3. Don't be jealous of your young partner. Jealousy arises from self-doubt. When a man is younger than a woman, there is room for constant suspicion. However, he chose you, which means that he needs you and only you. But at the same time, do not give him complete freedom, go to various events together.

4. Feel the lightness of the relationship. If a man is younger, he is not inclined to reproach you, instruct and limit your actions. He has a simpler attitude towards life, so you will have more fun. In addition, you will feel more confident and perfect next to a young man.

5. Don't be afraid to build a serious relationship. According to statistics, 53% of marriages in which the husband and wife are the same age break up after 2-3 years. The average duration of marriages where the man is younger than the woman is 12-16 years. But many couples live together for 20 or 25 years.

6. Enjoy your sexual relationship. Youth and experience combined will bring you many pleasant moments.

Many unions in which the girl is older than the young man lead to marriage and long, happy family relationships. Cast aside all doubts and love your soul mate, even if she is much younger or older than you. Do not pay attention to someone else's opinion, as this is your life, and you must live it the way you want it.

Under the crust of the brain, we have written that only peers can enter into marriage. Therefore, when we see a couple of different ages, it seems unnatural and surprising. There are families where a man is 10, 20, or even 30 years older than a woman, and there are not so few of them.

Let's try to understand where these exceptions come from. Let's start with female psychology.

Women are divided into three groups according to their behavior in marriage:

"Wife" is the most common type of woman in a marriage. Such women, as a rule, marry their peers. In marriage, they behave as equal partners.
"Mother". Such a woman in marriage often has a leading position. The spouse in such a marriage plays a less significant role. A mother woman often takes care of, decides, manages. In such families, it is not uncommon for the man to be younger than the woman.
"Daughter". A woman-daughter chooses a person much more experienced and, accordingly, older than herself as her life partner. The reason is the need for guardianship, protection and patronage.

Man 10 years older

A woman by nature develops faster. And it turns out that peers do not meet either the psychological or intellectual needs of girls.

Therefore, they like men who are much older. Twenty-year-old girls are interested in thirty-year-old young men. Reach out to them for experience, intelligence, maturity.

Such a couple can hardly be called peers, but still they are both representatives of the same generation. They have common music, cinema and heroes. In this pair, the man is a more experienced partner, he knows a lot and much better.

Such couples are not uncommon in society and are not surprising. In the traditions of the past, the age difference of 10 years was considered a reference.

Man older than 20 years

Such a man will be chosen as a husband by a woman who is largely in need of protection, support, patronage.

Definitely, this is a woman-daughter, who in adulthood still feels like a child, weak and defenseless. Perhaps the feeling of insecurity was born in childhood, especially if there was no father in the family. The "little girl" is implicitly looking for this strong image in a man - the image of a father. Therefore, a man 15, 20, or even 30 years older will attract her.

Common factors for choosing a relationship with an older man

Personal and financial viability.

A man of forty or more already has financial well-being, a successful career and material well-being. With such a man, it is initially comfortable to start a family life. A woman is aware that a wealthy serious adult man can fully guarantee a stable, serious marriage in which children can be safely planned.

Readiness for marriage, maturity.

A man older than 15 years or more attracts with his serious attitude to life and marriage. He appreciates family comfort and all the preferences of the family as such. Such men are wiser, they have previous experience of personal relationships. They are capable of compromise.

The ability to take good care of.

If a man is much older, he is more experienced in dealing with women. He knows how to make something pleasant, what gifts and flowers to give.

High social status.

There are still cases when women choose a husband much older than themselves, focusing on his professional and life success. For example, young actresses marry older venerable directors. Nurses are for famous surgeons, and so on.

Here the image of the spouse is idealized in connection with his high objective assessment. A man as a luminary of science or art is attractive precisely for this. A person who has earned the honor and respect of a huge number of people causes respect and interest. The authority of such a husband for his wife is enormous. As well as admiration for his professional skills.

Relations with an older man promise a young woman help in her own career or creativity.

Feeling of security

Marrying an older man, a woman feels under guardianship and patronage. Almost 100% leader in such an alliance will be a man. It will have decision-making and leadership roles. This is very appealing to pronounced "daughter" type women who are afraid to be decisive and adults.

There are significant disadvantages of marriages where the husband is older than the wife

Difference of interest

One of the main problems is the obvious gap in interests. This is due to the fact that if a man is 13 years older, the husband and wife are people of different generations. Each of them grew up on different music, different fairy tales, read different literature. In adulthood, they form a different social circle according to their age.

At the initial stage of family relations, this is imperceptible. The couple are passionate about their passion. A few years later, when the first veil of love passes, these problems appear in almost every family of different ages. They become difficult and bored with each other.

Physiological (sexual) problems

If at the age of 20 a wife quite normally perceives a difference with her husband of 20 or more years, then after 10 years this difference can turn into a problem.

A 30-year-old woman at the peak of her physical form and a 50-year-old man in the process of sexual withering: how can they be fully together? The sexual appetites of a young woman and the desire for peace in a 50-year-old husband create conflicts in the family.

Different energy

This is directly related to age. The young partner longs for development, growth, movement, while the other is already tired of the life race and, on the contrary, is looking for a safe haven and peace.

It turns out that by the age of forty the young wife has built a successful career, full of energy and positive, and her elderly husband is already a pensioner who prefers a sofa and a book. The different rhythm of two people is a threat to such a marriage.

It’s good if an adult spouse turns out to be an active and active young wife. In this case, the marriage will be strong.

Premature aging

It has been noticed that a young wife next to her older husband becomes older purely visually and internally. They seem to change energy. She gives him youth, and he gives her maturity. A young wife with an adult husband becomes calmer, more leisurely, more sedate.

Jealousy

In such relationships, there is almost always a place for jealousy. The unequal positions of both lead to the emergence of distrust, neurosis. An elderly spouse may be jealous of a young spouse, realistically assessing his and her sexual needs.

Unequal marriage. Rejection of relationships by relatives, friends and society as a whole.

The family of a young girl will dissuade from such a marriage, stressing the ever-increasing age difference over time. Friends of an adult man will suspect the young wife of self-interest.

man's past

Another disadvantage in a relationship with an adult man is his past. As a rule, behind the shoulders of a man is an unsuccessful marriage and, possibly, children. These relationships will not disappear without a trace from his life. The young wife will have to come to terms with the fact that their ex-wife and children from a previous marriage will constantly pop up in their family life. And it's a heavy load.

To create normal intra-family relations, a young wife will need a large share of wisdom, tact and patience.

Why do men marry young women?

Increasing self-esteem in one's own eyes and in the eyes of society.

A man who has got a woman much younger than himself as his wife thus proves his worth in many areas of life, for example, in sex, in social status. A young wife nearby is proof of a man's success.

Opportunity to deceive age, become younger.

With a young wife, a man feels much younger. He begins to monitor his health and appearance in order to match his wife. He has an influx of energy and positive.

Raising an Ideal Wife.

An adult man already has, as a rule, the experience of family life and divorce. His attitude towards the female sex was formed under the yoke of negative personal experience, where a woman acted as an irritant and a source of problems. In this regard, a man is pessimistic about his peers, considering them already formed personalities, with whom it is not easy to find a common language and build good relationships.

With a young girl, everything is much easier. The character is not fully formed, the young diva looks at an experienced man with undisguised delight and admiration. In such a pair, a man feels more confident and stronger. He plays a leading role. He patronizes, patronizes, manages, teaches.

Still, many men, marrying a young girl, idealize the upcoming marriage and see in their spouse only a kind, caring hostess who will constantly bother at the family nest.

Sometimes such men find it difficult to see in their wife a mature adult who needs a career and her own separate life.

Having described all the pros and cons of a relationship with an older man, it should be noted that there are a lot of examples around us where a man is much older than his wife.

Here are some of the famous couples:

Lydia Tsirgvava and singer Alexander Vertinsky. The age difference is 34 years. In marriage, 2 daughters were born and raised: beautiful actresses Marianna and Anastasia Vertinsky.
Director Oleg Tabakov and actress Marina Zudina. The age difference is 30 years. Married for over 20 years, two children: Maria and Pavel.
Director Andrei Konchalovsky and actress, TV presenter Yulia Vysotskaya. The age difference is 36 years. Together for over 20 years. Two children were born in the marriage: Mary and Peter.
Hollywood actors Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones. The age difference is 25 years. They have two children: 12-year-old Carey and 15-year-old Dylan. Together for over 15 years.
Fashion designer Roberto Cavalli and model Lina Nilson. The age difference is 47 years. Together for over 6 years.
Directed by Woody Allen and Sun-Yi-Previn. Age difference -35 years! The couple have been happily together for many years and have 2 children.
Singer Alexander Gradsky and Marina Kotashenko. The age difference is 32 years. Together for 12 years, and last year the couple had a son, Alexander.

All of the above couples have proven their love over time.

And how many examples of new unions, where husbands are suitable for their wives as fathers, and even as grandfathers. Only time will tell how strong such an amazing relationship turned out to be:

Armen Dzhigarkhanyan and Vitalina Tsymbalyuk-Romanovskaya (age difference - 45 years)
Ivan Krasko and Natalya Shevel (age difference - 60 years)
Bari Alibasov and Victoria Maksimova (age difference - 40 years)

Alexander Sergeevich Pushkin wrote back in the 19th century: “All ages are submissive to love…”. Ages succeed each other, but love remains. Only mutual respect, tact and wisdom will help to keep this feeling for years.

And the age difference is just a number. Let them remain them, on paper!