What is the difference between passion and love. Love or passion? How to distinguish one from the other? A selection of vivid quotes from their fiction and about philosophical literature

Our century is characterized by the rapid development of relations. Yesterday we met, today we woke up in the same apartment ... Love at first sight or simple attraction? A desperate attempt to establish a personal life or a long-awaited meeting with "the same man"? Love or passion? How to distinguish these two situations?

I do not claim absolute truth. In such matters, there can be no universal advice. I will simply state my position based on my personal experience and the experience of other people.

What is the main difference between love and passion?

The first thing to talk about is what exactly do I mean by the words “love” or “passion”? Why is it important to separate these concepts?

I will try to state my position, my feelings as accurately as possible ... The fact is that love is something that only intensifies over the years. Something that is gradually gaining momentum, something that needs to be constantly invested in. Something we are ready to work on. Love grows when we go through some difficulties together. In my experience, love is greatly strengthened after the birth of a child. When there is a common cause, in which everyone makes their own contribution. I know for sure that our love increased tenfold after the first sleepless nights. When my husband and I took turns rocking a newborn baby who was awake because of tummy pain. When in the morning, getting ready for work, he once again took this little restless lump with him to the kitchen, allowing me to sleep peacefully for another half hour. Love strengthened even when my husband had problems with work, when I had the wisdom to support him at a difficult moment, and not fall with offended reproaches, complaining about the lack of money ... Every test, whether it be a financial problem, health, fatigue, pressure from the side of relatives - absolutely every test turned into a blessing for us. That is why I believe that such a relationship can be called love, not passion. Of course, I brought up a very slippery topic. One should never draw such loud conclusions here... But I will say this - perhaps this is not yet love in the highest sense of the word. But we are moving in the right direction.

What is passion? I think passion is what does not stand the test of time. That at first brightly flares up, and then gradually fades. Passion is a very powerful emotion. There is both vivid pain and unbearable happiness... Passion gradually drains a person's energy. Passion is good too. But it seems to me that you can’t make a strong long-term relationship out of it.

Love or passion? How to distinguish these two concepts?

I think the main judge will still be time. At least six months. It is enough to compare your relationship now with what it was six months or a year ago... In which direction are you moving? Have you become closer to each other? Have you become more interested in each other?

But there are other signs that indicate passion:
- How do you quarrel? Minor quarrels can arise in any relationship, another question - how do they manifest themselves? Scandals, major tantrums - in my opinion, signs of passion. Long quarrels that last several days are, in my opinion, also a sign of passion. Another question - do you know how to forget these unpleasant moments?
How quickly did your relationship develop? Love at first sight most often points to passion ... But not always. I'm sure some of the readers know such examples... When people fell in love with each other right on the day they met, got married a month later, and lived a long and happy life together.
- Do you respect your chosen one? At the heart of love is mutual respect. However, passion may not perceive its victim as a person.
Do you know the shortcomings of your beloved? How do you feel about them? I think that love has a condescending attitude towards shortcomings. Passion either does not notice them at all, or perceives them somehow inadequately.
Are you ready to work on your relationship? To sit and figure out what's on the other's mind... To analyze some situations together, to bring up your grievances for discussion? Without this, it will be very difficult to create something strong ("").

Love or passion - how to start a long-term relationship?

Finally, I want to give some advice to unmarried girls ... Girls, don't rush anywhere! No need to give a man everything at once, no matter how trite it sounds! As my experience and the experience of some of my girlfriends shows, really valuable relationships develop very slowly! I already wrote in the article "" that for the first months my husband and I just walked together, just talked, went to different interesting places ... We spent a lot of time together, for 5-8 hours, meeting every two days! And it helped us to get closer on a spiritual level. It helped to get to know and feel each other well. And then the physical rapprochement went very slowly. Do not be afraid that the man will run away! If you ran away, it means that this is not your man ... You will still have time to enjoy intimacy, because you have a whole life ahead of you ... And if there is not a whole life ahead, then do you need it?

Again, this is just my opinion based on personal experience. This does not mean that you cannot create a strong family by letting a man close to you on the very first day. Perhaps someone can do it. But I'm sure if it's important to you whether you find love or passion, you better take your time. Do not hurry!

I already wrote about how to meet your future husband online.

I'd love to hear your experience! How do you think, how to understand your relationship? Love or passion? How to distinguish one from the other?

Passion love is a kind of love where the power of attraction overshadows the mind. Love as a passionate attraction is not just a strong sympathy. Most of us know people we really like but don't like, and some of us have even felt passionately attracted to someone we didn't particularly like.

We are accustomed to call love as a passionate attraction love, although passion is more likely to dress up in the clothes of love than it is love. As Aleksey Klimenko said: "Passion is when you want to devour a person. And love is when you want to feed him." Love is a kind attitude towards a person, it is care, it is the joy of being able to give to him. And passion is the desire to get a person in order to get further from him everything and always what you want. And I want a lot. This desire for insatiable consumption we call love?

Although - yes, in order to get so much from a person, to possess him, in love and passionately desiring to speak and speak tenderly passionate words, and care, and pretend that he cares ... All this usually flies off like an extraneous husk , if a passionately in love understands that only a bummer shines for him and there is no longer any point in caring and caring. Then this "supposedly love" is easily melted into real hatred, where a loved one can be killed and even needs to be killed, because she did not give what she wanted from her so much ...

However, when a passionate lover is tamed, and the beloved is protected, it’s very cool to watch the suffering of a lover and understand that it’s all because of you and he will do anything for you. I became a queen, I can command - pleasure fills the soul ...

And for the artists of the pen, love-passion is one of the most striking topics where you can wave your pen wide and sell the people a work that those who miss love-passion will buy ...

A selection of vivid quotes from their fiction and about philosophical literature

Voluptuousness can be the darkest human horror, anticipating all the horrors of hell.... (O. Mirabeau). The unconscious desires of the human essence are really shocking (P. Gurevich). Male love scares (L. Tolstoy). In the study of lust, it is not the actions themselves that matter, but the thoughts behind them (S. Blackburn). “With love, the fire starts from above, and with lust, from below” (I. Shevelev). “In sexuality, the highest and the lowest are united.” "The anus area, like the area of the lips, is positioned to become the point of attachment of sexuality to other bodily functions." (Z. Freud). “... The fact that just the most intimate personal connections that exist between living beings are fully saturated with aggression - you don’t know what to say here: this is a paradox or a banality” (K. Lorenz). "I know of nothing more disgusting than a frightening face engulfed in the fire of cruel lust." “If it is in this form that we appear before women, they really must find us repulsive” (J.-J. Rousseau). - A selection of quotes from the book "The reverse side of love or the experience of trepanation of sin ..."

The seed of the decay of love is already planted in the sexual act itself. N. Berdyaev “The true threat in our time is not the abomination of Eros, but simply its bankruptcy” (P. Bruckner). No matter what model marital relations are built on, “the psyche requires more and more strong emotions” (D. Guzman). “... The soul is fed up with everything that is monotonous, even with complete happiness” (A. Stendhal). Variety is demanded by lust, hungry to defile what has not yet been defiled. “Voluptuousness is the process of exchanging action for pleasure” (R. Barth). “One kind of love destroys its other kind, because a person, by virtue of his nature, having satisfied his hunger, loses interest in food” (G. Marquez). “A woman is a well-laid table, which you look at in different ways - before dinner and after it” (pogov.). “... Annoyance and irritation arise from a high appreciation of what causes our desire, because it sharpens and inflames love; however, having plenty gives rise to coldness in us, and passion becomes lethargic, dull, tired, dormant” (M. Montaigne). “In love, Only yesterday, insanely frenzied, Having achieved the goal, boring and not happy, Some kind of melancholy embraced” (D. Donn).

“Few people think about why our genitals perform two such contrasting functions: the production of life and the removal of dead waste from the body?” (S. Varakin). The Creator, having combined the organs of reproduction with the organs of excrement and giving a person the opportunity to experience "evil joy" from the desecration of another person, apparently believed that he would not find a better guarantee of the preservation of the species. Obviously, regardless of whether we are talking about ordinary genital contact or about “sex with a human face” (V. Gitin), the fundamental question in exacerbating the moral disease called sexual shame is the question of which part of the body we “love” with what associations we inflame our imagination and from what ideas and sensations we derive the highest pleasure.

Videos from Yana Happiness: interview with professor of psychology N.I. Kozlov

Topics of conversation: What kind of woman do you need to be in order to successfully marry? How many times do men get married? Why are there so few normal men? Childfree. Parenting. What is love? A story that couldn't be better. Paying for the opportunity to be close to a beautiful woman.

Some believe that love and passion are completely identical concepts, and therefore use them as synonyms. In fact, they have little in common, although they are inextricably linked with human relationships. Love should not be replaced by passion, either in speech or in life. Why should we always distinguish passion from love? Let's try to clarify this issue.

Definition

Love- a deep feeling directed at another person, the basis of which is spiritual closeness, mutual respect, the desire to give the best to the object of love.

Passion Desire-based feeling of lust, which is uncontrollable and strongly affects the behavior and thinking of a person.

Comparison

Passion is closely related to desire, lust. But when the desire is fulfilled, satisfied, passion, as a rule, fades, comes to naught. Relationships dominated by love are much longer lasting.

Passion is an egoistic, possessive feeling, it is impatient, peremptory. Passion deprives a person of freedom, making him emotionally dependent. If required, she no doubt stakes relationships with other people, causes pain. When passion is prioritized, it ultimately destroys itself and the couple's relationship.

If passion is without love, then such relationships have no future. Love can exist without passion. Very often, passionate feelings turn into a peaceful, calm channel. Passionate impulses are replaced by trust, mutual respect, need for each other. Love is based on self-giving, selflessness, forgetting oneself for the sake of another. Love says: "What I I can do for you?”, and passion screams: “What you ready to do for me? Passion goes ahead, love is tactful and noble, it does not hurry, does not hurry.

Passion makes you fall into addiction akin to a drug addiction, painfully desire more and more bright and strong emotions. But such violent feelings cannot exist for a long time. Passion can lead to humiliation, love never humiliates, but, on the contrary, elevates, gives strength to live.

Findings site

Passion is based primarily on desire, while love is based on intimacy.
Passion quickly, sometimes instantly flashes, but just as quickly and fades. Love is a long-term feeling, over the years it only gets stronger, intensifies.
Passion without love ultimately destroys, love (with or without passion) creates, makes a person better, more perfect.
Passion is inherent in egoism, love is based on giving the partner all the best, on the desire to please him. Passion seeks to bind, love gives freedom.
Life without passion is not a problem for many, but life without love is unbearable for any person.

The emergence of new and strong feelings for the opposite sex inspires a person, gives him strength and joy. But at the same time, it can bring a lot of pain and suffering. To avoid unnecessary disappointment, you should sort out your feelings, instead of denying their appearance.

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True love is not always easy to recognize. To do this, you need to conduct an honest introspection and show diligence in order to understand your feelings and understand the sympathies of your chosen one.

Before you fully plunge headlong into a romantic relationship, you need to understand three main facets:

sympathy;
love;
love.

Understanding these points will help you avoid mistakes and eventually find true happiness.

Being in love can often be confused with love. Both of these concepts imply romantic feelings. However, their basis is different. If love turns a blind eye to shortcomings and rests only on an external and superficial foundation, then love knows about the strengths and weaknesses of a partner, it constantly grows and grows stronger, no matter what.

To decide, you need to study 10 differences between love and falling in love.

What do you like in a person?

An enthusiastic person pays most attention to physical data - a beautiful figure, a pretty face, an athletic physique, etc. Although there is nothing wrong with looking at beautiful people, but appearance is just a beautiful wrapper that does not have the appropriate content. Having met a person of a more attractive appearance, sympathy can easily pass, and thoughts will already be occupied with a new acquaintance.

Unlike sympathy, true love is interested in the personality of a loved one. Physical attraction is present, but it only complements the personal characteristics and attractive qualities of a partner.

Evaluation of merit

When falling in love, a person pays attention only to some qualities of the chosen one. He closes his eyes to his shortcomings and exaggerates his strengths.

But when you truly love a person, you know about all his shortcomings, accept them and try to focus more on his actions, strengths and admire them.

Invariance in feelings

Love is not characterized by constancy. Therefore, the feelings of a man or woman can either blaze or subside for a certain period. The reason is that it is a superficial feeling. It does not have deep roots that constantly fuel interest in a person.

Man's love does not calm down. Thoughts about her beloved, the desire to constantly see a person, to be near and hear her voice do not let go for a single day. If a passionate person can easily endure separation, then with real feelings, it becomes unbearable pain.

How do feelings affect personality?

Psychology notes that a fleeting infatuation with another person leads to disorganization. A person becomes distracted, relaxed, ceases to think sensibly. In addition, falling in love encourages spontaneous and thoughtless actions.

Deep feelings always create. They encourage the lover to develop, improve, work on their qualities, give a surge of new strength and energy with which you can move mountains.

Important elements of love

An analysis of the main components of true love will help to distinguish love from falling in love.

Deep and genuine feelings are based on:

frankness, trust and understanding;
loyalty;
passion.

In sympathy, there is only physical attraction and fidelity, but there is no open communication and mutual understanding. Falling in love includes passion and frankness, but if partners do not make efforts to overcome difficulties, remain faithful to each other, then over time it will pass.

basis of feelings

To find out if this is true love, you should think about what goal is pursued in the desire to have a loved one. If a girl believes that a guy can make her happy, will provide for her and thinks only about her own interests, then this is a hobby, but not love.

Genuine love is different in that it does not seek its own benefit. Love induces selflessly, devotedly to look after the interests of another and do everything possible for his happiness.

Opinion of others

An important test for true feelings is the opinion of loved ones about the chosen one. An enthusiastic person tends to idealize the other, not paying attention to serious shortcomings. Friends or family may not approve of the choice made, because they look at things realistically and see dangerous signals.

When a girl truly loves, then more often parents and friends do not go against such a relationship. They will see the same good qualities and deeds for which she fell in love with a man, they will be able to make sure that she knows about his shortcomings and is ready to put up with them all her life.

Time is the best indicator of feelings

Distance is the best opportunity to define and test your feelings. Sympathy rests only on physical attractiveness. If people are simply passionate about each other, then under the influence of time and distance, interest in a person disappears and the relationship ends.

To completely forget a man, a woman in love needs 1-3 months. Then she is visited by thoughts about the hopelessness of the relationship, and she begins to pay attention to handsome guys.

Unlike passion for deep feelings, nothing can interfere. For those who truly love each other, the thread of love only grows stronger, despite thousands of kilometers and years of parting. Lovers will find opportunities to maintain their relationship, because they can no longer exist without each other. No other person of the opposite sex can replace and fill the void in the heart.

Passion is the strongest feeling that arises at the level of instincts. This is a powerful passion and desire to completely possess another person. Physical attraction occurs at a subconscious level and cannot be controlled. Sooner or later at some point in life, everyone is faced with a similar feeling, but many people confuse the concepts of "passion" and "love" with each other, especially when they are in their teens. This happens because a person in both cases is irresistibly attracted to the other.

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In adulthood, a person usually already knows how to distinguish between love and passion between themselves. People understand that love is not only a candy-bouquet period and endless happiness, it is also a huge work on oneself and on relationships. Passion is more irresponsible and frivolous.

There is a huge difference between these feelings. Love is the spiritual closeness of two people, while passion is the desire to possess a person completely. Selfish feeling. However, without it, normal and harmonious relations in a couple, most likely, will not work. Physical attraction is the foundation on which relationships begin to build and subsequently true love is born. If the relationship is based only on passion, in such a situation people do not listen to each other's desires, and everyone wants to satisfy only their own needs. Passion, unlike love, is fleeting. It can disappear as quickly as it appeared. When a person achieves the object of passion, his desire fades away. But it is not uncommon for physical attraction to be reborn into true love.

Psychologists compare passion with the effects of drugs.

Love is more characterized by the desire to make the other half happy, even to the detriment of oneself. Experiencing sexual interest at the level of instinct, a person is focused only on satisfying his own needs. During passion, the strongest emotions prevail, and all thoughts rush to the object of adoration. Love, on the contrary, is a meaningful and calm feeling, when the happiness of another becomes much more important than your own. Interest is shown to the person, and appearance does not really matter.

Signs of feelings

On the basis of love and physical attraction, long-term relationships are born that end with the creation of a family. In order not to make a serious mistake in his life, a person must be able to distinguish between these feelings. If you marry at the stage of a passionate relationship, then the union will not bring happiness to any of the partners. When sexual interest fades, the relationship between the spouses will break.

Signs of Passion:

insane interest in the body of another person;
relationships are based on flirting, not heart-to-heart talk;
there is a pathological feeling of jealousy and fear of loss;
the object of passion is endowed with non-existent qualities, there is a reluctance to look at him with a sober look;
requires increased attention to your person;
spending time together is reduced to sexual contact and fun;
the union is more like a relationship of lovers than friends.

To recognize love and passion, you need to listen to your own feelings and analyze feelings.

Love is expressed in the following signs:

desire to get to know the person better;
striving to be near “both in sorrow and in joy”;
the desire to surround the partner with affection, care and warmth, without requiring the same attitude in return;
need for communication on any topic;
striving for understanding and respect for a partner;
willingness to compromise;
the desire to fulfill any request of a loved one;
in bed in the first place is the satisfaction of the interests of the partner.

Love is a deep and creative feeling. Passion destroys and destroys; when a relationship breaks, it always hurts one of the partners. The one who experienced more serious feelings. It's unavoidable.

Stages of relationships between partners

Relationship stages based on love and sexual interest:

1. Passionate relationship. The period of falling in love is exactly the moment when a person sees the object of his adoration through “rose-colored glasses” and endows him with non-existent qualities. Communication at this level does not take place with a real person, but with a fictitious phantom who is groomed, cherished and protected. After one or two years, the rose-colored glasses fall off, and the former lover experiences a feeling of great disappointment.
2. True love with elements of passion. In this case, the priorities are set properly. Love is at the head and controls sensuality. This is the perfect union of a man and a woman.
3. Love. Such relationships are not suitable for all couples. They are designed for people with a certain type of character and personality type. A sort of quiet harbor with eternal calm. The union may bore one of the partners, and the person will go to look for the missing emotions on the side. But if a couple is satisfied with this relationship, and they feel happy, their relationship will last for an extended period of time.

By nature, women are more emotional. However, passion is most important to men. During passionate love, they produce hormones that increase their effectiveness several times in any area of life.