Orthodox family. Conversations with Father

And whatever you ask in prayer

receive in faith(Matthew 21:22)

1. A family as the basis of society . In March 2007, the Synod of the Russian Orthodox Church adopted the concept of missionary activity, which states that in the realities of the 21st century. the missionary must remember that he is a worker together with the Holy Spirit, a herald of the Word of God (1 Cor 3:9). These words are very important in the conditions of the crisis of modern society and the family as its foundation. The family is an association of people based on marriage, connected by a common life and responsibility. Marriage is the oldest form of human relations, through which society establishes their marital rights and obligations. The concept of a family is broader than marriage, as it includes children and other relatives.

Each family goes through a series of evolutionary stages: education, the birth of children, their marriage, the breakup of the family. As a social institution, the family is closely connected with the economy, politics, religion, and education. The law governs family relations. The foundations of children's health are laid in the family, parents educate them and determine their profession. In the family, the child sees the division of labor and begins his economic activity. A family with a favorable psychological climate reliably protects a person. The main function of the family is reproductive, i.e. the birth and upbringing of children. The family performs an economic function, but today there is almost no joint household, which causes the alienation of children and parents and the disintegration of the family. The family also performs restorative (recreative), communicative and regulatory functions. In the conditions of the modern information society, all of them are simplified, the family is going through a deep crisis.

After the fall of Adam and Eve, the first type was a polygamous family (i.e. polygamy), incl. among the Scythians and Slavs (polus - many, from Greek).

After the Baptism of Russia in 988. the princes sealed their unions with a wedding, and the people preserved pagan customs. "Teaching children" by Prince Vladimir Monomakh (1117) speaks of equality in the family. The Tale of Bygone Years (12th century) says that the Drevlyans kidnapped their wives, and the meadows bought them for a wreath (payment to the bride's family for the loss of a worker). The Laurentian Chronicle (14th century) notes polygamy among the Slavs.

In Kievan Rus, with the advent of property and the prohibition of incest, a monogamous family gradually develops (monos - single, gamos - marriage, from Greek), i.e. from two spouses, forming a territorial community with neighbors. They entered into marriage at the age of 12-14, lived in houses (smoke, 8-16 m2), the average life expectancy for women was 33.1 (up to 30 years she gave birth to 5-7 children), and for men 36.7 years (V. Kotsyuba 1historical - demographic characteristics of old Russian "1 cim" i ". - Archeology, 2001, No. 1, p. 30).

In Ukraine in the 16-18 centuries. there was a civil marriage for faith, but with a mandatory wedding. For economic reasons, in Russian peasant families, the wife was often older than her husband, marriage was obligatory, and in medieval Europe, 20% of the population was out of wedlock (Rossiyskaya istoriya, 2009, No. 3, p. 219). In 1744, the Synod introduced a mandatory wedding, that is, an Orthodox family appears, sanctified by God and the Church. However, the Ekaterinoslav province was popularly called Nevenchannaya, where there is no family at all (Veresaev V. Land of Fire, vol. 1 ... p. 97). But in every house there were icons of the Virgin.

In 1917-1936, the Bolsheviks considered marriage a private agreement (over 70%) with the theory of the "glass of water" (Young Guard 1923, No. 3, p. 122), i.e. the family was abolished, abortion was legalized for the first time in the world (1920), and the main attention was paid to the class struggle for socialism. In orphanages where the child spent most of the day, the educators made him a communist.

After the implementation of such tasks, the children abandoned their parents. In 1934 in the pioneer camp "Artek" they even held an All-Union rally of children - watchers (scammers on their relatives as "enemies of the people").

Since the mid 30s of the 20th century. marriage was recognized as legal only after registration by the authorities. In 1944-1991. 430 thousand women were awarded the Order "Mother-Heroine" for raising 10 children. In the 70-80s of the 20th century, about 4.5 million abortions per year were performed in the USSR.

Today, along with registration and wedding, the so-called civil marriage (actual) takes place, every second young family, 70% of young people have sex before the age of 20. The structure is dominated by a binuclear family, from two parts, i.e. biarchy (bi - two, lat, arche - power, Greek). From the age of 29, the number of women prevails.

Most women work, which leads to a decrease in the birth rate and divorces (70% initiated by women). There are 13.5 million families in Ukraine, 20% of families are childless, every sixth is incomplete, 30% of children are born out of wedlock. If in 1913 in Ukraine there were 44 births of children per 1 thousand people, an increase of 19 people, then in 2007 - 10 people, i.e. 6 people population decline (since 1995), in Russia in 1901 there were 7 births per woman; 1.2 (Statistical guide 2007, p. 350-351), balance with mortality is possible at 2.1.

In Europe, France has the highest birth rate (2.0 per woman).

In the USSR, the growth of the birth rate 1935-39, 1944-61, 1970-85 and since 2001 in Russia (Literaturnaya gazeta, 2013, No. 4). In the USSR, there are 19 children per 1 thousand people, in the USA - 14 (Parents' Committee, 2008, February 15). In 1983, the number of divorces in the USA was 5.3, in the USSR - 3.5 (We and the Planet, p. 16). In Ukraine, there are 84 abortions per 100 births (Reproductively healthy, I am a nation, in Europe - 10). Since 1991, the death rate in the USSR has exceeded the birth rate, the number of divorces in Russia has reached 80%. (O. Makhovskaya. Ideal Russian family).

In general, millions of abortions per year are performed in Russia, Ukraine and Belarus. Since 1991 - over 170 million (Statistics of Russia, 2010 p.172) .. This is the main reason for our demographic catastrophe (V. Bashlachev). A solution to the problem is an allowance for children until the age of majority. in Russia since 2007. all families who have given birth to 2 children receive a non-cash allowance of 340 thousand rubles (City, 2010 No. 28). And in Ukraine since 2012 - UAH 57.6 thousand, since 2013. three years of the decree are counted in the insurance experience. Ukraine in divorces and mortality in 1st place in Europe (per 1 thousand people 5.3 divorces. In Russia - 5.0. In Belarus - 3.8, City 2010, No. 16) The reason for the decline in the birth rate is the financial situation and conflicts in the family. Every 2nd family breaks up in Ukraine, after lowering the price of a DNA test, it turned out that every 3rd child is not from his father (Samaryanka 2008, No. 2 p. 21). concept, 12.6, Religion and Society, 2010, 6 Oct).

In the USA already in 1990, more than half of the children lived in single-parent families, hence depression and suicide (Valyansky S. Armageddon tomorrow, p56), 67% of families in the USA without children, 100 million Americans are not married. At the same time, a quarter of men and women live with a sexual partner, there is a group sex swing .. The institution of marriage becomes virtual (D. Ivanov Virtual Society., p. 124). (TO Emigrate.com)/

in Europe since the 18th century. family is a private agreement. Since 1989, in Denmark, and then in most EU countries, same-sex unions and marriages with the adoption of children have been allowed. In 1999, 6,000 such marriages took place in France; since 2004, the same has been happening in the United States. Since 2009, Lutheran priests in Sweden have been marrying same-sex couples, and Cubans even wear curlers to work in order to be their beloved wife in the evening. Having lost the economy, the family turned into a place of sleep, food, hygiene. Market competition and consumerism destroys the family.

A quarter of women in the US and Europe say they do not intend to have children. (Giddens E. The elusive world., p.116). 8-10% of families are happy In Europe for 1 thousand. 2.1 divorces, one third of children are born out of wedlock, two thirds of families are childless (wikinews Eurostat, 2006, 14.05).

In 1994, the UN Cairo Conference adopted the Sustainable Development Program, i.e. family planning with compulsory sexual education for adolescents (Education or molestation? p. 6).

In Germany, parents who prevent this are prosecuted criminally.

The main task of Orthodox missionary work is to change the system of values, that is, children are not poverty, but the Gift of God! Previously, the Orthodox in Christ went to their death, but today they are afraid to give birth to children because of the high prices for life, pseudoscience, and television. This is our national tragedy.

2. Divine Liturgy of the Sacrament of Marriage. In Christianity, marriage is a union in which a man and a woman accept the obligation to live together all their lives as husband and wife, fulfilling themselves in solving religious and moral issues and helping each other in life. This relationship creates favorable conditions for the upbringing of children. The Orthodox Church sees in the Sacrament of Marriage a spiritual mystery analogous to the mystery of the union of the Lord Jesus Christ with the Church. Therefore, marriage is a special Sacrament associated with the action of the grace of God. Christian marriage is a free agreement of spouses, where the husband is the head of the union, and the wife is his assistant in life together. This position is based on the testimony of Holy Scripture (Eph. 5:23). Through the blessing of God, marriage becomes a matter of honor and its bed serves the good of bearing and raising children (Heb. 13:4).

The first marriage was made in the garden of Eden by the Lord God. Loneliness weighed heavily on the first man Adam, and then the Lord said, “It is not good for a man to be alone, we will make him a helper corresponding to him (Gen. 2:18), a man will leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and they will be one flesh (Gen. 2:24 ).

The Apostle Paul defined that love does not seek its own (1 Cor. 13:5). how selfless is the Love of the Lord! In these words of Scripture lies the key to the mystery of marriage for the blessing of God to people. And then a person does not dare to touch the essence of marriage according to the word of Christ. “What God has joined together, let no man separate” (Matthew 19:6). Over the course of 2 thousand For years, people have created various marriage ceremonies, but the essence of marriage has not changed. Marriage signifies the desire to be established in love (Eph. 3:18) through the understanding of the love of Christ. Christians believe that marriage should not be out of passion, but with the thought of God. Therefore, when entering into marriage, according to civil laws, they first ask for the priest's blessing on him, their intention was announced in the Church before the civil contract. Marriages not announced in the church community were equated with fornication and condemned.

St. John Chrysostom in one of his conversations says: you need to call on the priests and confirm marriage consent with their prayers, so that the love of the groom increases and the chastity of the bride rises.

In the New Testament understanding, the Church is the Body of Christ, where Christ is the Head. Through her prayers, the Church brings down the blessing of God on those who are getting married. A sacrament of grace is being created, i.e. the spiritual union of Christ with the newlyweds, their "home church" (Col. 4:15, Rom. 16:4). Being one flesh, spouses have one soul (Acts 4:32)

During the celebration of the Sacrament, the bride and groom reveal to the Church the promise to remain in marital fidelity. Beginning of life

newlyweds associate with the truth “where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them” (Matt. 18:20).

The Sacrament of Marriage was established in the 4th century, and in Russia it was performed from the 11th century. Since 16th century the marriage was preceded by a “search”, so that the spouses would not have a good time either in nepotism or in courtship (Stoglav, ch. 46, p. 219). The family agreement of the parents was connected with the “search”. On the day of marriage, the groom invited the priest to his house and went with him to fetch the bride. In the bride's house, her father met them and seated them at the table. Matchmakers braided the bride's braids, laid a crown on her and covered her with a veil. After the prayer and the blessing of the parents, everyone followed to the church. At the betrothal, the groom was given a gold ring, and the bride was given a silver one. After their consecration in the altar, they were exchanged. Sometimes they were engaged with similar crosses, from the 16th century. before the wedding, the bride and groom were tonsured. When the common cup was shared, the vessel was broken.

In the synodal era in Russia, only the parish priest of the bride or groom could crown a marriage. Betrothal is a bond before God of mutual promises. It is performed with the blessing of the parents and the spiritual father. The visible sign of this ring is with the priest's prayer. The prayers of parents build the homes of their children; without them, no family can stand.

The betrothed bride and groom appoint a wedding day, the best day is 1 Sunday after Easter! Before the wedding, the marriage is registered at the civil authority (RAGS), then the Sacrament is performed. The burning candles of the newlyweds are the light of grace descending upon them. Betrothal is a preparation for indivisible marriage. The sacrament of the wedding begins with the glorification of the Holy Trinity. The priest asks God to save this marriage, as once Noah was in the Ark. Then he blesses the bride and groom with crowns. These crowns are a symbol of the union of Christ and the Church and a blessing on the offspring, transferred to the Church. Together with the words “Lord our God, crown (them) with glory and honor” - they capture the Sacrament of Marriage. If the spouses conscientiously fulfill their duty, they will draw near to God, who turned the water of family life into the wine of the Kingdom of God.

Life in the family is connected with trials. These are: bad habits, pleasure seeking, anger, etc. Salvation is only in spiritual closeness with God. Crowns with a cross remind of the martyrs, i.e. of humility and indulgence, of the Glory of God! After the Lord's Prayer, the newlyweds drink a common cup of red wine, blessed by the priest. Then he joins their right hands, covers them with stole and puts his hand on top. And he pronounces the words “The Father blesses, the Son crowns, the Holy Spirit sanctifies”, i.e. the husband receives his wife from the Church, which unites them in Christ.

Next, the priest circles the newlyweds three times around the lectern, i.e. to the Glory of the Holy Trinity with prayers. Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it (Gen. 1:28). He will be saved through childbearing if he continues in faith and love (1 Tim. 2:15). This is an inheritance from the Lord: children (Ps 126:3).

After the wedding, the newlyweds return to their home, where they are met by their parents with icons, for 30 days they use low-alcohol mead as a drink, which is favorable for conception.

Since 1775, in Russia, church betrothal and wedding have been performed simultaneously. The ancient Church did not approve of the second marriage. An exception was allowed if the marriage was dissolved due to the fault of the other spouse. Widows 2 marriage was allowed without blessing. According to the Charter of Stoglav, when a widower and a girl are married, the rite of the first marriage is performed. Currently, the second marriage is performed with the permission of the metropolitan.

3. Orthodoxy and the modern family. “Love is longsuffering, kind; love does not envy (1 Cor 13:4). He who does not love does not know God, because God is love (John 4:8). Above all, put on love, which is the bond of perfection (Col. 3:14).

We have nothing, but we have everything (2 Cor. 6:10). The husband is the image and glory of God, and the wife is the glory of the Man (1 Cor. 11:7)"

Orthodox truths in the 21st century as relevant as ever. Spiritual revival will not come without the revival of the family. Christian parents should explain to their children that discipline is based on the principle “Thy will be done!”.

Enemies of Orthodoxy use information-psychological aggression through the media, promoting violence, sex, tobacco, alcohol, consumer lifestyle. The goal is obvious: the moral corruption of the population, especially the youth. The ethno-democracy of "noise" replaces the humanitarian one with a "mosaic" culture, ideal for manipulating consciousness. Alcohol is the second reason for the breakup of a family. Next: crime and death.

Advertising imposes European values ​​on us, and the winner of Eurovision 1998 was the transvestite Dana International (Israel), 2006 a group of monsters from Finland "Lordi". The essence of the Bologna system is not yet the development of personality, but training through tests to perform elementary functions. There is a struggle against the extermination of homeless animals, at the same time today on the streets of Ukraine there are 2 million useless homeless people (including over 100 thousand minors).

A new evil of juvenile justice is gaining strength: in France, 2 million children were taken away from their parents, in Germany, tens of thousands annually, allegedly for the wrong upbringing of children. Similar experiments are being carried out by the authorities in Ukraine and Russia. (L. Ryabichenko. The family no longer lives here, N. Zakharova. Give me back my daughter!).). This is the way to the official sale of children., human organs. And it has been illegal for a long time. In Europe, this is Kosovo. (since 1998). In recent years, arrests of doctors in Ukraine have been made in Kyiv, Nikolaev, and Chernigov.

Since 2010 PACE introduces the replacement of the concepts of father and mother (allegedly sexism) with a parent in official documents. in the US since 2011. definitions adopted: parent #1 and #2, for the benefit of same-sex families with multiple children. Since 2001, a number of states have canceled Mother's Day. The danger of homosexuality and the gay parade in Kyiv (2013) is not in defending their rights - they are fighting against the Christian family! This is the path to a decrease in the birth rate and self-destruction. Do we need such values? If China allocates 12% for education, then Ukraine only 4% of GDP.

Political scientist M. Parenti (USA) testifies that from the first days at school, children are taught not to work together, but to compete, that is, acquisitiveness and isolation (Democracy for the Few. , p. 68). Since 1999, the Patriarchal Center for the Spiritual Development of Youth has been operating , and in 2008, the Ukrainian Center for Educational Quality Evaluation, together with the US Agency for International Development, managed to issue a memo for schoolchildren, i.е. our children are being Americanized. In the United States, since 2008, a number of states have legalized prostitution, drugs, and therapeutic cloning; published the Bible for homosexuals.

If in 1991 51.9 million people lived in Ukraine, then in the middle. 2008 46.3 million (losses of over 5 million, 330 thousand people per year, Statistical bookkeeper of Ukraine 2007., p. 23). Market fundamentalism has turned out to be deadly for us. Since 2001, only in the Donetsk region. 92 schools were closed, the number of students decreased by 120 thousand people. (City 2007, Jan 26). For the West, we are competitors in the struggle for resources, smart and dangerous.

Today there is a revival of Orthodoxy in the Donbass, the number of parishes in the Donetsk region. increased from 145 (1991) to 530 (2006, Orthodox face of Donbass., p. 14).

In Donetsk, there are: Orthodox living rooms "Light of Radonezh", "Inextinguishable lamp", the society "Sobriety", where priests, scientists, teachers, doctors perform.

Summarizing the experience of personal missionary work, we can offer several main areas: local history, pilgrimage, living rooms during extracurricular hours, summer health camps. “Whoever does and teaches, he will be called great in the Kingdom of Heaven” (Matthew 5:19).

The effect of churching will be amazing. This is a concrete struggle against the burning of life by young people, an alternative to nightclubs and discos. The temple is a launching pad into the future, consecrated by God!

Raising through prayer, glorifying the holy confessors, telling about the history of the Church, we contemplate divine love, fight sin. Freedom in God is the best recipe for sin, another freedom from Satan! Thus shall the man who fears the Lord be blessed (Ps 127:1-4).

Many families have a Bible and icons at home, which means that society, through its foundations, requires the revival of Christian truths. Our spiritual values ​​are traditional: a Christian family, conscience, conscientious work, communal mutual assistance, service to God and the Fatherland!

“Everything is permissible for me, but not everything is useful (1 Cor. 6:12), Your bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 6:19), Carry one another's burdens (Gal. 6: 2). The purpose of Christian marriage is love - the transformation of water into wine (A. Uminski. Do not part with your loved ones).

In 2004, the honorary title Mother Heroine (for raising 5 children) was restored in Ukraine. women. And in the families of Lutsik, Manzik and Shulyak they bring up 17 children, in the Nemanya family - 21 children. Bishop Longin (Zhar) was awarded the title Hero of Ukraine (2008). Having 3 of his children, he opened an orphanage for 220 people. The feat of the Mother-heroine is not forgotten. E. Lysenko, who raised 16 children, 10 of them fought at the front, E. Stepanova, 9 sons and 2 daughters of whom died in battles with the enemy. There is no greater love than a man who lays down his life for his friends (John 15:13).

Since 2007, with the blessing of Metropolitan Hilarion of Donetsk and Mariupol, the Joy family center has been operating (headed by Y. Pinchuk). Its purpose is to help strengthen the family as a house church. The week of the myrrh-bearing women who served Christ, celebrated in the third week after Easter, is a symbol of respect for the wife, mother and sister. Days of holy love and faithful marriage on July 8 and September 15. These days, Orthodox spouses speak kind words to each other, warm their children with caress and remember the selfless love of Peter and Fevronia, saints of Murom of the 13th century, which even today strengthens our families.

Since 2008 the All-Russian Day of Family, Love and Fidelity is held annually, the Order of Parental Glory was established, based on the Sign of St. Olga (1915), from July 8, 2012. Family Day was established in Ukraine. In 2010 the International Union of Orthodox Women (website I am Mother) was created, and in 2011. For the first time, 12 women were awarded the Patriarchal badge of motherhood - for raising 5 or more children in the Orthodox tradition.

The Council of Bishops of the Russian Orthodox Church (June 2008), held to commemorate the 1020th anniversary of the Baptism of Russia, determined that Orthodoxy is a way of life in Christ. “I am the way and the truth and the life” (John 14:6)

With the fear of God, having studied and comprehended the works of St. Bishop Theophan the Recluse and St. Bishop Ignatius Brianchaninov, one can make the following generalizations, conclusions, and offer practical recommendations on educational methods.

The basis of any educational activity, including pedagogical, is Christian Love.

Human life is made up of three components in close unity: body, soul and spirit.

The spirit is a manifestation of the power of the soul and is developed by churchness.

The body should be strengthened, as it is an instrument of the spirit.

It is necessary to pay attention to the education of memory, imagination, will and heart.

The main task of upbringing and education is the development of the heart, Christian morality as the basis of a human being.

Otherwise, a person is like a cold statue with a big head and brittle legs.

The educator must be Christian perfect. Know age psychology, be able to act on students with patience, strongly, fruitfully, with the help of prayer and the Church Sacraments.

The fruit of a good upbringing is the preservation of the grace of Holy Baptism, virtue for life. (St. Bishop Theophan the Recluse. Fundamentals of Orthodox Education.-K., 2002).

Excess knowledge robs them of quality. The impressionability of youth must be used carefully, without anger - seeking repentance. (St. Bishop Ignatius Brianchaninov. Look for the spirit in everything, not letters. M., 2008)

Orthodox truths are relevant today more than ever. Everyone who stays in it does not sin (John 3:6). The Social Concept of the Russian Orthodox Church says that it is necessary to boldly resist evil, a school without Christian ethics destroys society.

The words of the founder of Russian pedagogy, K. Ushinsky, have now acquired a special social connotation. True science will not only find an opportunity to build public education on the basis of our popular religion, but will also cherish this historical foundation as the greatest treasure (Ped. soch., vol. 2. p. 57).

Implementing everywhere the Bologna system, the Ministry of Education of Ukraine made a compromise decision on the introduction of the course of Christian ethics as an elective by region (since 2006 in Kyiv, etc.).

Every day the media give us another dose of information on the topic of youth: crime, drug addiction, alcoholism, AIDS. Violence, sex, alcohol, tobacco are promoted.

The main source of information is television channels, and they belong to the oligarchs. The introduction of a liberal standard of permissiveness deforms the development of the individual. The imposed abandonment of children and families leads to death.

Consequently, today the Orthodox Church is being challenged by the forces of evil.

The spiritual revival of society will not come without the revival of the family according to the principle “Thy Will be done!” Christian parents should explain this to their children.

It is gratifying that there is a revival of Orthodoxy in the Donbass. The number of parishes has increased significantly, and Sunday schools have been set up at many churches. At the same time, Protestant-Catholic propaganda intensified significantly.

I support the opinion of the Mother Church on the activation of Orthodox missionary work, especially among young people.

Summarizing the personal experience of missionary work, we can offer several main directions:

local history;

School Olympiads;

Student conferences;

Pilgrimage trips;

Living rooms during extracurricular time with lectures and book presentations;

Summer health camps;

Church archeology;

Orthodox journalism.

Whoever creates and teaches, he will be called great in the Kingdom of Heaven! (Matthew 5:19).

The effect of churching will be amazing. This is a concrete struggle against the burning of life by young people, an alternative to discos and nightclubs.

The temple is a launching pad into the future, consecrated by God!

Raising on the examples of Holy Scripture, through prayer, glorifying the holy confessors, talking about the positive examples of Russian history, we contemplate divine love, fight sin.

God the Word gave us freedom of choice, freedom in God is the best recipe for sin, other freedom from Satan!

Individual education involves the unity of the body and spirit, the formation of a strong-willed, integral personality.

Many families have a Bible and icons at home, which means that society, through its foundations, requires the revival of Christian truths.

Hearing this demand is the modern approach to Orthodox missionary work and the main innovation in pedagogy. Only one universal method of education is known: business, a personal example of a mentor! This is the basis of students' trust, their good will.

With such thoughts I express myself to my colleagues - Orthodox teachers of Ukraine: to light inextinguishable lamps in the hearts of young people. The smallest deeds on this path are a great blessing for the future life of young people, and hence the whole society!

Our spiritual values ​​are traditional: a Christian family, conscience, conscientious work, communal mutual assistance, service to God and the Fatherland!

To implement them, I propose to intensify the activities of the All-Ukrainian Pedagogical Society.

The goal of Christian education is a personal approach to each student and parishioner in Sunday church schools, their spiritual and moral growth.

The development of a good beginning, the realization of the Grace of the Church as a living communal organism, its transformation into a worldview, an Orthodox way of life. This is the future of us and our children

Help us, Lord, by educating others, to grow spiritually ourselves!

Sergiy Kovalev , Master of Theology

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Orthodoxy about the family speaks quite unequivocally: a person is created “incomplete”, and he can find his integrity, completeness either in marriage or in monasticism.

At the same time, God did not destine only one woman for each man, most priests believe that the myth of “halves” is nothing more than an unwillingness to work on oneself and relationships. Marriage teaches people humility, in the family the husband and wife learn to take care of each other, listen to the wishes of the partner, put the interests of the family above their own.

Civil marriage, some clergy say, is not a sin or a violation of morality, because marriages are made in heaven, and not within the walls of the registry office. If God brought these people together, gave them the opportunity to live together, share a bed, conduct a common household and life, they have already entered into marriage in their hearts, and before the Almighty they are the same husband and wife as married spouses.

It's bad that today's youth often perceives such relationships as "unkind" - a toy, trial relationship. Like, now we will live a little, if anything, we will scatter. Unregistered "cohabitation" should be considered the same full-fledged marriage as any other form of cohabitation, treated with the same care and attention.

It is wrong to think that marriage in Orthodoxy is considered solely from the point of view of procreation. God gives to each according to his strength: there are also childless couples, but do they become a “fake” family from this? The main thing is that the husband and wife become one whole, one flesh. This union begins on Earth, but continues in the Kingdom of Heaven, true Christian marriage is eternal.

The wedding of a young couple in the temple of Cosmas and Domian in Shubin (Stoleshnikov lane), in Moscow

Spiritual guides unanimously say that marriage is based on humility. You cannot demand from a person what he does not have. Does this mean that your spouse is not suitable for you, you need to destroy the existing one and build a new one? In no case. In addition to very extreme examples (for example, when a husband beats his wife, one of the partners is openly antisocial, living with him is dangerous for life and psyche), you can always find a compromise if you maintain love, respect and understanding.

The main question to ask yourself when getting married is: “What can I give this person?”, while many ask: “What can he give me?” With such a selfish approach, it is very difficult to create a truly strong union and bring it over time to the state of a solid institution, a small Church, sanctified by the Lord.

Orthodox family. What should she be

The family in the life of the Church, as well as in the life of civil society, occupies an important, fundamental place. The family in Orthodoxy is called the "Small Church". The Apostle Paul compares the relationship in the family with the relationship between Christ and His Church: “Wives, obey your husbands as to the Lord, because the husband is the head of the wife, just as Christ is the head of the Church, and He is the Savior of the body. But just as the Church obeys Christ, so do wives obey their husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the Church and gave Himself up for her... So husbands ought to love their wives as their bodies: he who loves his wife loves himself... Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and they shall two are one flesh…” (Eph. 5:22-33).

“The boundless sacrifice, the boundless self-denial of Christ — this is the ideal relationship in marriage. And precisely that love, which, according to the words of the Apostle Paul, “endures long, is merciful, does not envy, is not arrogant, is not proud, does not behave violently, does not seek its own, is not irritated, does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth, covers everything, believes everything hopes everything, endures everything, and never ceases” (1 Cor. 13:4-8), is the basis of Christian marriage” (5:368).

St. John Chrysostom writes: “Let us value unanimity in the family above all else, and we will do everything in such a way and direct it so that peace and silence are constantly preserved in marriage ... Then the children will imitate the virtues of their parents, and there will be well-being in the whole house.

Do you want your wife to obey you, as the Church obeys Christ? Take care of it yourself, as Christ cares for the Church. Where husband, wife and children are united by bonds of virtue, harmony and love, there is Christ among them.

If we manage our homes in this way, then we will be able to manage the Church, because the house is a small Church. Thus, if husbands and wives are good, everything will be excellent ...

This is the strength of the life of all of us, that the wife be consubstantial with the husband; it supports everything in the world.”

“The basis of a healthy moral life of society and its vitality is the family. “If within this social unit the basic principles of life are distorted, if this grain of social development and order is spoiled, then no matter how much we create artificial forms, they will not bring with them a healthy life for society.” “The disorder of the family upsets,” according to the remark of the great saint John Chrysostom, “the whole universe.” And, conversely, “if marital relations are in order, then the children are brought up well, and the servants are decent, and neighbors, and friends, and relatives rejoice, and everyone is pleased with the consent of the spouses.”

St. Gregory the Theologian writes: “Look at what sacred marriage brings to a person. Who taught wisdom, tested everything that is under heaven, on earth and in the sea? Who gave laws to cities, and even before laws filled the forum, gave houses, palestras, feast tables? Who gathered the choirs of those singing in the temples, who brought us out of the original animal life and cultivated the earth, crossed the seas? Who reunited into one that which was divided, if not marriage? But that's not all. We are each other's hands, ears, legs, through the beneficence of marriage, which doubles our strength and makes our friends glad. Shared care moderates hardships, shared joy becomes sweeter. Marriage is a seal of love that cannot be broken. Those who are united according to the flesh are one soul, in mutual love they sharpen the sting of faith, for marriage does not move away from God, but brings it closer to him insofar as it was God who confirmed it for us.

According to St. Amphilochius of Iconium: “We do not bring enmity between virginity and marriage - on the contrary, we respect both as mutually beneficial. Glorious is virginity, but true virginity, because even in virginity there are differences: some virgins dozed off and fell asleep, while others were awake (Matthew 25:1-13). Marriage is also worthy of praise, but marriage is faithful and honest, since many have preserved, and many have not preserved its purity.

Archpriest Grigory Dyachenko says: “So you see, brethren, how important and holy Christian marriage is by its very origin from God! - it is important and holy, and according to its purpose, to serve as a blessed hotbed of the human race, a natural source of family happiness and a protective medicine against the sinful corruption of our nature. Its high significance is revealed even more from the fact that the apostle shows in it the image of the mysterious union of Christ with the Church and therefore calls it great secret.

“Metropolitan Anthony of Sourozh notes that “Marriage is a miracle on earth. In a world where everything and everyone goes astray, marriage is a place where two people, thanks to the fact that they fell in love with each other, become one, a place where discord ends, where the realization of one life begins. And this is the greatest miracle of human relations: two people suddenly become one person, two faces suddenly, because they fell in love with each other and accepted to the end, completely, turn out to be something more than a two, than just two people, they turn out to be unity.

Everyone needs to think about this, because living apart is painful, hard, but at the same time it is easy and habitual. Mental and material interests, tastes diverge, and therefore it is very easy to say to yourself: I want to live in what interests me. Who lives for profit, who lives for culture, who lives to fight for some ideal, but I am a self-sufficient unit, I have enough of myself, but in fact this results in a dispersion of society, a dispersion of humanity. In the end, nothing remains of that wondrous, wonderful unity that could exist between people. And marriage, as I said, is the miracle of restoring unity where it can be restored by human power...

In the Holy Scriptures, marriage appears as an expression of ultimate joy, ultimate fullness. This is not the fullness of tranquility, but the triumph of joy and love. Its most perfect image is given to us in the so-called marriage of the Lamb(Rev. 19:7, 9), that is, in union, in the joy of meeting God, who became a man, who gave all his life, all his being to the world, — with the creature: when everything is already completed, when there is no longer opposition, when God and people are united by a common life. And this is not limited to man, but outgrows him and embraces the whole creation, so that the apostle Paul could say: God will be all in all(1 Corinthians 15:28).

Elsewhere, Metropolitan Anthony of Sourozh compares the family in which the child was born with the Holy Trinity: such states when the Divine merges into the created, when the created outgrows itself, when the Divine, merging into the created, joins the createdness to the eternal and the Divine. And he says that the only sacrament of our world is marriage; marriage, understood as a union of two beings who looked at each other, loved each other in such a way that they no longer see each other as something else, a stranger, not to see the other as nakedness, but to see the other as beauty. Marriage, in the words of this saint, is the only sacrament that the whole world has kept from the moment of its creation and even from the moment of its fall. Marriage is not a formality, not a rite, but somehow a miracle that allows two people to look at each other and say: we are no longer two, but a two, we are one, we are a two, just like God is the Trinity. And when a child appears, we are an icon of the Holy Trinity” (136: 789, 790).

According to Archpriest Nikolai Pogrebnyak: “In the traditional system of values ​​of an Orthodox person, the family has always occupied a prominent place; The Orthodox view of the family as a small church implies not only the God-established marriage relationship, but also their salvation. But it must be added that for this the small family boat in the stormy sea of ​​life must follow the same course as the great ship of the Church of Christ. This image is found in patristic writings: “Marriage not only does not interfere with a charitable life, but also greatly contributes to the taming of a fiery nature, not allowing the sea to wave, but constantly directing the boat to the pier,” says St. John Chrysostom.

Given the fundamental importance of the family, many passages in both the Old and New Testaments give guidance to spouses in their family relationships, as well as the importance of a virtuous wife for the family, for example:

“Also, you wives, obey your husbands, so that those of them who do not obey the word may be gained by the life of their wives without a word when they see your pure, God-fearing life. Let not outward braiding of hair be your adornment, not golden attire or finery in clothes, but the innermost man of the heart in incorruptible beauty a meek and silent spirit, which is precious before God. So once the holy women, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, obeying their husbands. So Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him master. You are her children if you do good and are not embarrassed by any fear. Likewise, you husbands, deal prudently with your wives, as with the weakest vessel, showing them honor, as joint heirs of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. Finally, be all of one mind, compassionate, brotherly love, merciful, friendly, humble of mind…” (1 Peter 3:1-8);

“Who can find a virtuous wife? Its price is higher than pearls; the heart of her husband is confident in her, and he will not be left without profit; she repays him with good, and not with evil, all the days of her life. He extracts wool and flax, and willingly works with his own hands. She, like merchant ships, gets her bread from afar. She gets up still at night and distributes food in her house and her serving maidens. She thinks about the field, and acquires it; out of the fruit of his hands he plants a vineyard. He girds his loins with strength and strengthens his muscles. She feels that her occupation is good, and her lamp does not go out even at night. She stretches out her hands to the spinning wheel, and her fingers take hold of the spindle. She opens her hand to the poor, and gives her hand to the needy. She is not afraid of the cold for her family, because her whole family is dressed in double clothes. She makes her own carpets; linen and purple are her clothes. Her husband is known at the gate when he sits with the elders of the earth. She makes veils and sells them, and delivers belts to Phoenician merchants. Fortress and beauty are her clothes, and she cheerfully looks at the future. He opens his mouth with wisdom, and gentle instruction is in her tongue. She watches over the household in her house and does not eat the bread of idleness. The children stand up and appease her, - the husband, and praises her: “There were many virtuous wives, but you surpassed all of them.” Prettiness is deceptive and beauty is vain; but a woman who fears the Lord is worthy of praise. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works be glorified at the gate!” (Prov. 31:10-31).

At the same time, the Holy Scripture also depicts the vices of a negligent wife. So the apostle Paul condemns voluptuous young widows who spend their time idle (1 Tim. 5:5, 6, 11-13). The book of Proverbs says: “Like a golden ring in the nose of a pig, a woman is beautiful and reckless” (Prov. 11: 22); “A virtuous wife is a crown for her husband; but shameful is like rottenness in his bones” (Prov. 12:4); “It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and angry woman” (Prov. 21:19); “It is better to live in a corner on a roof than with a quarrelsome wife in a spacious house” (Proverbs 25:24); “Ceaseless drops on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are equal ...” (Prov. 27: 15). The ancient Greek poet Hesiod wrote: “There is nothing better in the world than a good wife. And nothing is worse than a bad wife.

“The writings of the wise of Israel (first of all, the Song of Songs, as well as Ecclesiastes, the Proverbs of Solomon and the Wisdom of Jesus, the son of Sirach) speak of the love of a man and a woman in marriage as the most beautiful thing that can be in a person’s earthly life. Ecclesiastes, who regards everything as vanity and finds joy in nothing, in essence, makes an exception only for marriage; he speaks of marriage almost as if it were the only bright spot in the darkness of a vain life. Sirach also highly appreciates the importance of marriage, paying more attention to how life is poisoned by the invasion of evil into marriage life ...

The Epistles of the Apostles, comparing the relationship in marriage with the relationship of Christ and the Church, demand spiritual unity from the spouses and speak of the leading role of a man who is responsible for the whole family before God. In addition, the New Testament repeatedly mentions the need for marital fidelity.

According to M. Grigorevsky: “Summarizing the data in the patristic writings regarding the marriage union, we see that the Church, holding on to the teaching about marriage bequeathed by the Divine word, believed the essence of the marriage union to be in the mental nature of a person, in the feeling of love and sincere cordial disposition arising here. Expressed by one of the first representatives of Christian literature, St. Ignatius the God-bearer, this view of the essence of the marriage union runs like a noticeable thread through the works of further St. fathers and church teachers - Theophilus of Antioch, Clement of Alexandria, Origen, Gregory the Theologian, Asterius of Amasia, Cyprian of Carthage, Ilarius of Amasia, St. Amrosius of Milan and the Apostolic Ordinances” (6: 80).

Let us note the attitude of the Russian Orthodox Church to the family and marriage:

“Highly appreciating the feat of voluntary chaste celibacy, accepted for the sake of Christ and the Gospel, and recognizing the special role of monasticism in its history and modern life, the Church has never treated marriage with disdain and condemned those who, out of a falsely understood desire for purity, despised marital relations.

The Apostle Paul, who personally chose virginity for himself and calls to imitate it in this (1 Cor. 7: 8), nevertheless condemns “the hypocrisy of false talkers, burned in their conscience, forbidding marriage” (1 Tim. 4: 2, 3 ). The 51st Canon of the Apostles says: “If someone ... moves away from marriage ... not for the sake of the achievement of continence, but because of abhorrence, forgetting ... that God, creating man, created man, husband and wife, and thus, blaspheming slanders the creature, either he will be corrected, or he will be expelled from the sacred rank and rejected from the Church. It is developed by the 1st, 9th and 10th canons of the Gangra Council: “If anyone condemns marriage and abhors a faithful and pious wife who copulates with her husband, or condemns her as unable to enter the Kingdom (of God), let it be under an oath. If anyone is virginal or abstains, moving away from marriage, as one who abhors it, and not for the sake of the very beauty and holiness of virginity, let him be under an oath. If any of those who are virgins for the sake of the Lord exalt themselves over those who are married, let him be under an oath.” The Holy Synod of the Russian Orthodox Church, in its decision of December 28, 1998, referring to these rules, pointed out “the inadmissibility of a negative or arrogant attitude towards marriage” ...

For Christians, marriage has become not just a legal contract, a means of procreation and satisfaction of temporary natural needs, but, in the words of St. John Chrysostom, “the sacrament of love”, the eternal unity of spouses with each other in Christ. Initially, Christians sealed marriage with a church blessing and joint participation in the Eucharist, which was the oldest form of the Sacrament of Marriage...

The family as a domestic church is a single organism whose members live and build their relationships on the basis of the law of love. The experience of family communication teaches a person to overcome sinful egoism and lays the foundations for healthy citizenship. It is in the family, as in a school of piety, that the right attitude towards one's neighbors, and therefore towards one's own people, towards society as a whole, is formed and strengthened. The living continuity of generations, starting in the family, finds its continuation in love for the ancestors and the fatherland, in a sense of belonging to history. Therefore, it is so dangerous to destroy the traditional ties between parents and children, which, unfortunately, is largely facilitated by the way of life of modern society. Belittling the social significance of motherhood and fatherhood in comparison with the success of men and women in the professional field leads to the fact that children are perceived as an unnecessary burden; it also contributes to alienation and the role of the family in the formation of the individual is exceptional, it cannot be replaced by other social institutions. The destruction of family ties is inevitably associated with a violation of the normal development of children and leaves a long, to a certain extent, indelible imprint on their entire subsequent life, the development of antagonism between generations. The human body is a marvelous creation of God and is destined to become the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 6:19, 20). Condemning pornography and fornication, the Church by no means calls to abhor the body or sexual intimacy as such, for the bodily relations of a man and a woman are blessed by God in marriage, where they become a source of continuation of the human race and express chaste love, complete community, “unanimity of souls and bodies” of spouses for which the Church prays in the rite of marriage. On the contrary, the conversion of these pure and worthy, according to the plan of God, relations, as well as the human body itself, into an object of humiliating exploitation and trade, intended to extract selfish, impersonal, loveless and perverse satisfaction deserves condemnation ... ”(“ Fundamentals of the Social Concept of the Russian Orthodox Church ” adopted by the Council of Bishops of the Russian Orthodox Church in 2000).

“The beginning of communal life is the family. It is not for nothing that the holy Apostle Paul speaks of the family's participation in the Sacrament of the Church (see Eph. 5:23-33). In the family, a person acquires the experience of love for God and neighbor. Religious traditions, social structure and national culture of society are transmitted through the family. Modern law should consider the family as a legal union of a man and a woman, in which natural conditions are created for the normal upbringing of children. The law is also called upon to respect the family as an integral organism and to protect it from destruction provoked by the decline of morality. Protecting the rights of the child, the legal system should not deny the special role of parents in his upbringing, which is inseparable from worldview and religious experience” (“Fundamentals of the teaching of the Russian Orthodox Church on dignity, freedom and human rights”, adopted by the Council of Bishops of the Russian Orthodox Church in 2008).

Let us now quote on the issue of comparing marriage with other ways of life: In the Orthodox "Instruction of the Priest to the newlyweds" it is said: The first part of the hard-won field is virginity, those who love it and keep it incorruptibly until the end of their lives, and this brings fruits a hundredfold of virtues into the granary of the Lord. The second part is the abstinence of widowhood, and bears fruit sixtyfold. The third, those who are married, who live piously in the fear of God, bear fruit thirtyfold” (126:34).

St. John Chrysostom writes: “Here are three ways of life: virginity, marriage, fornication. Marriage is in the middle, fornication is below, virginity is above. Virginity is crowned, marriage is proportionately praised, fornication is condemned and punished.”

According to St. Ambrose of Milan: “There are three forms of the virtue of chastity: the chastity of spouses, the chastity of widowhood and the chastity of virginity. We do not praise one of them to the exclusion of others.

Metropolitan Anthony of Surozh notes that: “In one ancient manuscript of the Gospel there is a place where they ask Christ: “When will the Kingdom of God come?” And Christ answers: “The Kingdom of God already passed where two are no longer two, but one.”

One can then ask the question: if the Kingdom of God actually came in marriage, then what is the relationship of this Kingdom to a person who chooses a single life? There are two institutions in the Church that seem to be opposed to each other: marriage and monasticism. At the same time, for every person who belongs to the Church, is a member of it, lives its life, it is quite clear that there can be no contradictions in its being, its essence. And in fact, if we think about the question of marriage and monasticism in their essence, it becomes clear that marriage and monasticism are, as it were, two faces of the same Church. In marriage, unity is striking: two unite their fate so that they can go through their entire earthly path together. In monasticism, a person departs from that personal human closeness that constitutes the joy and fullness of marriage, as if in anticipation of the time when God will win, when everything that is best in a person will win. Yes, a monk refuses this, but he does not refuse love: firstly, from love for God, and secondly, from love for a person. Only such a person can become a monk who has realized and perceived deeply enough the tragedy of the world, for whom the suffering of the world is so significant that he is ready to forget about himself completely in order to remember the world that is in suffering, in isolation from God, in struggle, and in order to remember God Himself, crucified for the love of the world. And so going into monasticism does not mean an escape from the world. I remember the novice of the Valaam Monastery, whom my spiritual father told me about. He spent fifty years in the monastery, but never agreed to be tonsured. He went through a lifetime of asceticism, but did not consider himself ready for monasticism. My spiritual father, then still a layman who was looking for his own path, asked him: “What is monasticism, what is a monk, that you cannot become one, although you lead a monastic life?” And he answered: “A monk is a person who mourns and cries with all his heart over the grief of the world, and I have not yet come to this.”

As you can see, both in monasticism and in marriage, the root of everything is in love, moreover, personal, living, concrete love for the world in which we live, in the consciousness of its tragedy, and at the same time (and this affects, perhaps, more clearly , more visible in marriage) - in the joy that in this tragic world there is love, there is unity, there is friendship, there are such human relationships that make it not a hell, but a possible paradise.

And here a big role is played both in monasticism and in marriage. hope, understood not just as a dream, but as an act of exultant faith, confidence. Holy Scripture tells us that hope is already a foretaste of the future (Rom. 8:24). Hope is not a dream that maybe the future will get better. Based on the experience of today (despite its gloom and sometimes horror), seeing that in the midst of this day full of horror, light shines, love burns, that light really shines in darkness and darkness cannot defeat it by any force (John 1: 5), we, through hope, are filled with the assurance that in the end the light will triumph. This is our hope, and this is our faith, and the victory of love can grow on them, both in monasticism and in marriage.

IV Diocesan Christmas Educational Readings

"Prince Vladimir. Civilized Choice of Russia"

Municipal budgetary educational institution secondary

secondary school №1

Christian values ​​in formation

family traditions in modern Russia

Course: "Orthodoxy and family"

Teacher MBOU secondary school №1

Novy Urengoy

Russkikh Vera Leonidovna

Work experience 33 years

Without God, a nation is a crowd,

United by vice

Either blind or stupid

Ile, what is even worse, is cruel.

And let anyone ascend the throne,

Speaking in a high voice.

The crowd will remain the crowd

Until you turn to God!

Russia has been from time immemorial a country of Orthodox Christianity. Its creatively leading national-linguistic core has always professed the Orthodox Faith. Russia received all the basic content of the Christian revelation from the Orthodox East and in the form of Orthodoxy, in Greek and Slavonic. “The great spiritual and political upheaval of our planet is Christianity. In this sacred element the world disappeared and was renewed” (Pushkin)

With the adoption of Christianity, Russian people receive the true faith , Orthodox-Christian worldview, writing, literature, schools, statehood, law. This explains the abundance of Christian qualities in the Russian people, which are often noticed by observant foreigners who have had long contact with Russians. One can freely say that the Orthodox faith is the cradle of Russian culture and the educator of the Russian character.

Few people like it when something new is imposed on them, but at the same time, they respect and accept traditions. If you want to keep order in the family. Everyone knows that in Russia all families had their own traditions, which united them, making them strong and strong. Changes have taken place in modern Russia. They touched upon the original roles of men and women. Women wanted equality: getting the same education as men, the opportunity to decide for whom she would like to vote, even earnings became approximately equal. The woman has ceased to be the keeper, and the man the main earner and protector. The ancient destiny of a woman, the keeper of family traditions, has receded into secondary roles. The views on the concept of "family", on fidelity in the family, and on the upbringing of children have also changed. Many of the traditions that made a family a family have been lost. Many families to this day are more like people who live under the same roof, while having nothing in common, even sometimes not knowing each other. But it is the family that gives a sense of stability and protection from early childhood, which we carry through our entire conscious life and pass on to our children. Therefore, traditions are the basis of the way of the family, the family is friendly, strong, which has a future. Therefore, it is necessary to revive traditions, family traditions. It’s good if they are to the liking of all family members, because they are able to bring together, strengthen love, instill mutual respect and understanding in the souls, something that most modern families lack so much. Tradition is translated as forms of activity and behavior that have developed historically and are passed down from generation to generation, and their corresponding customs, rules, and values. It is traditions that act as a factor in the regulation of people's life, this is the basis for raising children. The upbringing of a child begins with the relationship that reigns in the family between the parents. In the minds of children, habits similar to adults, tastes, addictions, preferences are deposited long before the process of understanding what is happening begins. After all, the construction of children's behavior follows the example of copying. Children are brought up not only by parents as such, but also by the family life that develops. You can attach to family traditions by the personal example of the parents themselves. The introduction to culture and religion begins with the family, the child masters the basics of material and spiritual culture. In the conditions of the family, human forms of behavior are also formed: thinking and speech, orientation in the world of objects and relationships, moral qualities, ideals. It is the family that gives rise to a sense of the continuity of generations, and through this, involvement in the history of a kind, and the development of the ideals of patriotism. The family, having provided stability, reveals the abilities, strengths in a family member. It is a good tradition to discuss issues of family life. For example, when at evening tea, all family members talk about what interesting things happened to them today, in addition to this, they discuss plans for the next weekend, the main thing is that the children also express their opinions. A useful custom is to analyze your own mistakes aloud, this makes it possible to conduct an impartial analysis of actions and draw the right conclusions for the future. Family traditions are the spiritual atmosphere of the house, which is made up of: the daily routine, lifestyle, customs, and habits of the inhabitants. The happier the traditions were and the more interesting the knowledge of the world in the parental family, the more joy the baby will have in later life. It is a good tradition to celebrate birthdays, and the celebration should not only be about eating something tasty, but doing something special and fun. For children, all holidays are unusual and fabulous, so the task of adults is to make sure that the child remembers his childhood as often as possible later, when he grows up and brings up his baby. It has become a tradition in my family to celebrate the New Year with the whole family (my relatives come from all cities).

Family relationships are primarily spiritual relationships. The upbringing of boys and girls was based on the understanding that sexual relations are possible only within the family and must be sanctified by a blessed union in the sacrament of marriage. Boys and girls were accustomed to modesty by the whole way of life of the family. However, the spiritual basis of family relations gradually disappeared with the closing of churches and the impact of atheistic ideology. The loss of the spiritual basis of the family, the fear of God, gradually led to more free, more precisely, loose relationships, which were still not customary to talk about, at the social level such relationships were even condemned. Meanwhile, the external manifestations of life, such as an increase in the number of divorces, an increase in the number of abortions, testified to the presence of problems in family relations. In an Orthodox family, the whole way of life is connected with the church calendar. In the modern world, show nobility, hospitality, kindness and the ability to comprehend and subordinate even everyday worries and personal problems to the highest spiritual ideals.

The purpose of such forms is to promote the revival of the best domestic traditions of family education. Helping the family in understanding and shaping their system of life values, assisting parents, grandparents and other family members in mastering the skills of creative family pedagogy. In the upbringing of children, the family cannot be replaced by any other social institution; it has an exceptional role in promoting the formation of a child's personality. In family communication, a person learns to overcome his egoism, in the family he learns "what is good and what is bad." In the family, the child learns the basics of material and spiritual culture. In communication with close adults, the child develops actually human forms of behavior: skills of thinking and speech, orientation and activity in the world of objects and human relations, moral qualities, life values, aspirations, ideals. A sense of living continuity of generations is born in the family, a sense of involvement in the history of their people, the past, present and future of their homeland.

The visible manifestation of family life is the home. The home is the place where the physical, spiritual and spiritual life of the family unfolds. Family and home are a spiritual fortress for our children, which protects them from the temptations of this world. What can parents do to help their children resist these temptations? Every day we must be ready to overcome the influence of the world with a healthy Christian upbringing. We must be reasonable enough to use everything that is positive in it for our educational purposes. First of all, the family becomes a source of love for children. The atmosphere of the family strongly influences the formation of the spiritual image of the child, determines the development of children's feelings, children's thinking. This general atmosphere can be called "family mentality". Children who have grown up in an atmosphere of love carry it in themselves further, creating their families, filling the earth with this love. Love is the only creative force. So, the family is created as a source of love and creative power for all mankind. There is no love - and any methodology of the educational process is doomed to failure.

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