The third child in the family The family becomes large

A Swiss proverb says: "A family with only one child is not a family." Indeed, mother nature has rewarded us women with the ability to give birth to many heirs. But unfortunately, in our society it is customary to “start” only one or two babies, but the birth of a third baby is usually perceived negatively by others. Many people simply do not understand, and therefore condemn the young parents of two children who have decided on a third baby.

State benefits for large families

Moreover, in our country, families with three or more heirs are called large families, and this dry official name is very often associated with trouble. Large families have their own benefits and advantages.

For example, they receive subsidies for housing and communal services, they are entitled to free travel in public transport, and they can also receive an additional land plot free of charge. Mothers of minor babies are entitled to a reduction in the retirement age, and both parents are entitled to an increase in vacation (instead of 24 days - 36) and tax benefits. In addition, the state supports such parents with one-time payments, and their amount depends on the number of children - the more children, the larger the payment.

1. Unlike our country, in China, the authorities, on the contrary, are interested in reducing the birth rate. To do this, a young couple who has a baby, just like ours, is paid a cash allowance, but after the birth of the second heir, mom and dad are charged a serious fine. They can also be expelled from the Communist Party as irresponsible citizens. Villagers are allowed to give birth to only two children, and even then, provided that the first child is female.
2. But despite all the benefits and benefits, in our country, not every couple is ready for birth
   third child.
3. Before deciding on such a serious step, you should carefully consider everything, weigh all the pros and cons.
4. Of course, whether to give birth to a third child is an exclusively personal matter, and only the parents themselves can decide. But in today's article we will try to understand this issue and find out all the advantages and disadvantages of having another baby.

The third child in the family: pros and cons

So, you are a happy, prosperous family in which two wonderful babies are already growing up. But you are still young, full of energy and passionately want another crumb. Should I have another heir?

Psychologists advise a young couple tormented by such doubts to take a small test.

To do this, answer “yes” or “no” to the following questions:

• You and / or spouse has a higher education, a good high-paying position;
• You and / or spouse do not have chronic and severe diseases;
• The first and second births were successful, without complications;
• You and / or spouse were brought up in a prosperous friendly family, in which there were at least two children;
• In your family, quarrels, resentments, misunderstandings are rare. Love, respect and mutual understanding reign in it;
• You do not experience constant financial difficulties;
• You have a separate furnished housing with all amenities;
• You and your spouse have always been faithful to each other;
• You and your spouse are under 40 years of age;
• Do you have relatives and good friends who are ready to help (for example, pick up a child from kindergarten or school, take him to a clinic, sit with a newborn for several hours);
• Your parents and other family members are not against another child and support you in this decision;
• The first and second babies do not suffer from chronic and severe ailments;
• You have never thought about divorcing your spouse and dividing property.

If you answered yes to 8 or more questions from this test, most likely you should decide to have a third child. As a rule, in this case, the children grow up happy and prosperous.

But if there are less than five “yes” answers, most likely, the couple should postpone the third pregnancy and make every effort to improve material, living conditions and improve relationships in the family.

And now consider all the pros and cons of the birth of a third heir.

Advantages

Psychologists and sociologists say that for parents the third child in the family is, first of all, a recipe for youth.

1. Indeed, with the advent of another child, one does not have to think about old age, mom and dad get to feel young again and active, because the baby requires tremendous attention.
2. And with the next pregnancy in the body of a woman, the amount of hormones of youth increases.- estrogen, somatotropin, dehydroepiandrosterone (DHA), which help mom not only feel younger and more cheerful, but also look good.
3. In addition, part of the care for the care of a newborn falls on the shoulders of older children, and in this, in turn, you can also see the advantages, because the guys accustomed to work and responsibility grow up as wonderful family men.
4. Moreover, in large families, children grow up to be more sociable and friendly, since three children- this is already a small team in which everyone learns to find compromises, defend their point of view, share, empathize, make friends, quarrel and put up.
5. In adulthood, such people adapt better than others in any team., move up the career ladder faster, as a rule, are more successful in family life, because they already have a clear idea of ​​​​the institution of the family on the example of their mom and dad.
6. And the ability to analyze the situation and cope with all sorts of life difficulties(so often arising in families with many children) develop psychological stability in children, which will come in handy more than once on their life path.
7. If the age difference between the kids is small, they become real friends and associates. If the youngest child in the family is much younger than the rest, throughout his life he will be surrounded by people who can help him with deed and advice and take care of him in case of problems.

Flaws

• Of course, first of all, it should be noted that families with many children often find it difficult financially. We all know perfectly well that in our country a child is not a cheap pleasure, and a young couple often does not have enough money, because the mother has to sit on maternity leave. And even despite the fact that the state allocates certain amounts for the maintenance of crumbs, they are often not enough to cover all expenses. That is why only very wealthy people can decide on the next crumb in our time.
• It is also impossible not to recall that it is quite difficult for a mother to manage three children, especially preschoolers. It is very difficult for a mother with mischievous and very mobile kids. Often, against this background, women develop neuroses, which, of course, cannot but negatively affect all members of a large family.
• Ideally, if mom and dad have close relatives who are ready to help and help take care of the children, or there is enough money in the family budget to hire a professional nanny.
• Another possible disadvantage may be the jealousy of the older guys. The third child, as a rule, is the favorite of mom and dad, because he is the youngest and therefore requires special attention. It is very important in such situations to correctly explain to the children that they are very loved, and the newborn, due to his age, requires more attention and care.

Thus, if living conditions, financial well-being are at the proper level, and the physical and psychological health of adults is normal, the birth of another heir will be happiness for a young couple.

How to decide on a third child? After all, two kids are already running around the house, who take the lion's share of attention, and a large share of the income goes to ensure their carefree childhood! Will I be able to allocate time, finances and surround everyone with due attention and care after the third child appears in the family? These and many other questions boil in the minds of most parents expecting a third baby. Here are the revelations of a mother of many children, and just on this topic!

We planned, waited, prepared for the first two pregnancies, but the third one turned out to be a big surprise for us. At first, there were even thoughts of interruption, but they quickly disappeared. It's just that we have many friends who have not been able to get pregnant for years, but to us - as God sent. And this miracle was to be born! Everyone supported us: both relatives and friends. Only my mother was at first against the fact that the third child in the family would be born (since she herself raised three and knew how difficult it was), but even she then completely took my side.

The third child in the family: a reminder of childhood

Now I have three little men growing up. They are very cheerful, friendly and help me in everything (thanks to my husband who sets a good example for them). Not always, of course, everything is so perfect. There are times when I want to howl from impotence. Then I remember myself in childhood, and it becomes funny and easy for me (how much they remind me of a little one). I imagine what I wanted in this or that situation, and the conflict disappears. You just have to put yourself in their place!

In terms of finances, it’s probably easier for me, since I have all the boys, some of the toys, clothes, furniture are inherited. Another good thing is that they do not harm when choosing clothes, maybe because they are still small. And the third child in the family has not yet grown out of diapers. Of course, over time, they will start asking for both fashionable things and expensive smartphones, but I think we will be able to solve these issues with them.

The third child in the family: how can mom do everything

Sometimes it becomes hard to be torn between younger children. While you are feeding or playing with the little one, the middle one definitely needs to get something or feed it, but the eldest son comes to the rescue. He completely takes the middle one, he plays with him, feeds him, walks, dresses him and even already helps to wash, and they are 8 and 3 years old. Older children quickly become adults. They are support and support in everything. I would like to hope that this will always be the case.

Many are sure that when the third child appears in the family, there is no time left for themselves. Honestly, the way it is, but I hope that this is only the first years of his life. After all, kindergarten and school will begin later, and half a day can be devoted to your personal time. There are also relatives and friends to whom you can always turn for help. It seems to me that at such moments one should not be embarrassed to ask for help, because it is very difficult: to control three small men (I sometimes joke that when they grow up, I can work as a warden in a prison)!

To be honest, I don't think there would be a difference in upbringing if I had three girls or boys and girls. In finance, maybe, but in terms of love and attention, no. After all, all children need care, affection, support, in some ways strictness, in some ways - freedom. And in general, being a parent is a big responsibility, and when the third child appears in the family, then the parents have a triple responsibility.

The third child in the family: triple happiness

They say that with the advent of a child, a person relives life anew: kindergarten, school, college, first love, first experiences. So, I will go through all this three more times, and each time will be very different from the previous one, because we are all different. By the way, many people advise me how to behave with children, although they themselves either have one child or not at all. How to explain to them that it is impossible to compare children by one measure, because they are so different from each other? Even take my children. They have the same mom and dad, but they differ so much in their external data and characters, even illnesses manifest themselves in different ways (when they catch a cold, only their throat becomes inflamed, the second has a fever, the third has a runny nose). Each is one of a kind. This is a unique individual. I once read how one psychologist talked about children. He said that at the birth of his first child, he thought he knew everything about children, but when the fifth was born, he realized that he knew nothing about them. And I completely agree with him! For me, the third child in the family is something completely new and incredible.

Another problem (besides the material issue) was the jealousy of the elders to the younger. After all, seventy percent of the attention had to be given to the newborn. But we have already encountered such a situation when the second son was born, so we already understood how to behave and began to explain to the children why the third child in the family requires so much attention (after all, he cannot drink, eat, sit and the like). We also began to teach them to help each other, and this brought them very close.

I can say that people who grew up in a large family become good family men, they easily join the work team, quickly find a way out of difficult situations. I myself am from a large family and I know that in difficult times there will always be a person who will support me.

Conclusion

In 2019, there were several new and additional measures to support families. In particular, they concern large families at the birth of a third baby. Among the measures taken, we note the extension of the maternity capital program until the end of 2021. At the same time, the funds from the mat. capital can be spent on paying for kindergarten without waiting for the crumbs to be three years old.

This year, new monthly payments for babies under the age of 1.5 years have been introduced. The amount of payments at the birth of the first child corresponds to the subsistence level, and at the birth of the second and subsequent baby is paid in the form of a monthly payment from the maternity capital.

In addition, the state has launched a new mortgage lending program, under which, with the birth of a second or third child, a housing loan will be issued at 6% per annum. At the same time, subsidizing will last three years at the birth of the second baby and five years at the birth of the third. Let's take a closer look at what they give for a third child in Russia in 2019. And we will find out what payments are due for the birth of a third child.

Payments for a third child

• One-time payment upon registration for pregnancy in the early stages (up to 12 weeks) - 613.14 rubles;
• Lump-sum allowance for pregnancy and childbirth (benefits for the period of maternity leave). It is 100% of the average salary for two calendar years of work before going on maternity leave;
• One-time payment at the birth of 3 children - 16,350.33 rubles;
• Benefits for caring for a child up to one and a half years old, paid every month, vary between 6,131.37 - 23,089.03 rubles. Payment equals 40% of average earnings for two full working calendar years before maternity leave;
• The monthly payment for the care of a third child of one and a half to three years is established by the subject of the Russian Federation. As a rule, it is the size of the living wage per child. Note that for some subjects such payments are not provided, including for Moscow, the Astrakhan region, the Krasnoyarsk Territory, the Chukotka Autonomous Okrug and for 12 republics of the Russian Federation;
• Maternity capital for the third child, if it was not taken at the birth of the second baby.

Additional payments and changes in 2019

It should be noted that many regions of the Russian Federation pay additional funds when a third child appears and provide additional benefits for families with many children. The amount of payments and conditions for receiving are established by local authorities.

So, for example, the Moscow government, at the birth of a third crumb, gives an amount in the amount of ten sums of the subsistence minimum, which is just over 170 thousand rubles. But to receive such a sum of money, both parents must be no more than thirty years old. In the Moscow region, assistance amounts to thirty thousand rubles and is provided only for low-income families.

In Krasnodar, Samara, Novosibirsk and Irkutsk, one hundred thousand rubles are paid for the birth of a third child at a time, and in the Yaroslavl and Kursk regions - only three thousand. In the Pskov region, they will also give one hundred thousand rubles, but money can only be spent on the purchase or construction of housing. In St. Petersburg, you can get 36,800 rubles. You can find out more about how much they give for a third child in your area on the website of the local authorities.

In addition, Putin has amended the law, which provide for additional mandatory cash payments for a third child under three years of age, paid every month. They are valid for those regions where the total fertility rate does not exceed two. This coefficient takes into account the average number of children per woman in the current generation. Note that today the average for the country it is 1.762. Therefore, social data payments may appear in many subjects of the Russian Federation.

Such monthly payments for the birth or adoption of a third and subsequent child constitute the subsistence minimum for children. They are provided only to low-income families whose total income is below the subsistence level.

How to apply for benefits and payments for a child

To apply for benefits and payments for a third child in 2019, you need to collect a number of papers and submit them to the accounting department at the place of work. The list includes the following documents:

• Written application for benefits;
• Parent's passport and a copy;
• Baby's birth certificate and photocopy;
• A certificate confirming that the other parent is no longer receiving these benefits;
• Parents' marriage or divorce certificate and a copy.

Single mothers should obtain an appropriate certificate from the registry office. If both parents do not work, documents must be submitted to the regional department of social protection of the population. In this case, you must attach a work book and a copy, as well as a certificate of average income from the last place of work. The application is considered for ten days, after which payments are transferred.

Get additional social payments that are established by local authorities can also be submitted by submitting documents to the social security department at the place of registration. At the same time, keep in mind that each subject has its own requirements and conditions for receiving material assistance. In most cases, you will need a certificate of income, and in some cases, even an extract from the house book.

When applying for any benefits and payments, keep in mind that the child must be registered at the place of residence or stay. How to register for a newborn, what documents are required for this, see.

Do they give maternity capital for a third child

In this case, maternity capital can only be obtained if you did not use this program after the birth of your second baby. The certificate must be obtained from the regional branch of the Pension Fund. To obtain a certificate, provide the following documents:

• Application for the issuance of maternity capital;
• Parents' passports. For single mothers, an appropriate certificate from the registry office is required;
• Birth or adoption certificate of the child;
• Confirmation of the Russian citizenship of the Russian Federation for the baby (the corresponding stamp must be affixed to the birth certificate).

Cash payments for 2018 have not yet been indexed and remain the same. To date, they amount to 453 thousand rubles. These funds can be spent on the purchase or construction of housing, the repair or reconstruction of residential premises, the payment for education for a child or the adaptation of disabled children, and for the funded part of the mother's pension.

Land plot and apartment for 3 children

A number of constituent entities of the Russian Federation provide benefits for obtaining a land plot for parents with many children, provided that the family owns no other allotment. Every year the list of regions is constantly expanding. By 2019, this program is working in the Krasnodar Territory and Tarastan, Moscow, Ulyanovsk, Omsk and Ivanovo regions. It is of a one-time nature and involves queuing to receive a land plot.

Land for a third child is given only on the condition that the family is recognized as having many children. To do this, you need to obtain the appropriate document from the local administration. As a rule, in most regions, families with three or more children are recognized as having many children. To get on the waiting list, you need to submit the following papers:

• Application for obtaining a land plot, where to indicate the intended use of the land. This is the construction of a house, a subsidiary farm or the cultivation of a garden and a vegetable garden. Please note that the intended use is then checked by the regulatory authority. Think carefully about the purpose, since it is quite difficult to reorient the site;
• Passports of parents and photocopies;
• Parents' marriage or divorce certificate and a photocopy;
• Birth certificate for each child;
• Certificate of a large family;
• A certificate confirming that previously a preferential plot of land was not allocated;
• Certificate of absence of another land plot in ownership or lease;
• Certificate from the Federal Migration Service on the registration of each family member.

The land plot must be located in the same region where the family is registered. The area of ​​the allocated site does not exceed 0.15 ha (15 acres). At the same time, the allotment must be provided with the necessary communications and engineering networks, including electricity and water supply, sewerage, roads, etc. By the way, the family can refuse the provided plot with reasons three times and wait for the next, more suitable allotment.

Land for housing construction is leased for ten years and after the completion of the construction of the house is transferred to the family. In this case, the rent is 0.3% of the cadastral price of the land. Instead of a land allotment, you can get an apartment, provided that the family does not own another dwelling.

To obtain an apartment, the family must be registered in housing for the past five years. At the same time, the family must have at least three children under the age of 18, and the parents must be legally married.

Benefits for large families

We examined what parents are supposed to do at the birth of their third baby. They also learned what conditions must be met in order to receive subsidies and money. In addition, children from large families up to the age of majority are entitled to various benefits, including:

• Priority for enrollment in kindergarten and other preschool institutions;
• Free education in a state sports, art or sports school;
• Free vouchers to health and preventive institutions;
• Free travel in public transport;
• Free meals in schools and products in the dairy kitchen;
• Preferential mortgage lending at 6% per annum for five years without a down payment;
• Certificate for obtaining land for the construction of a house;
• Subsidies and benefits for utility bills;
• Additional five days of vacation for each parent;
• Annual compensation for the cost of textbooks and stationery for schoolchildren.

Separately, we note the receipt of free baby food in schools and products in the dairy kitchen. Dairy products are required at the birth of twins and for large families in which at least one child is under seven years old, regardless of income.

Benefits in the dairy kitchen are provided to families with disabled children under the age of 18 and children who suffer from chronic diseases up to the age of 15. In addition, pregnant women and nursing mothers receive dairy products until the child reaches six months, as well as low-income families with a child under two years old.

In this article:

Whether to give birth to the third child? Few people are puzzled by this question in our time, because the norm in modern society has long been considered to have one or two children in a family. This situation is becoming familiar to us, but whether or not to plan a third baby is a purely personal matter.

And let someone look at it with bewilderment or hostility, the other will complain about financial difficulties or that there will be no time for themselves. Yet each family must decide this issue on its own.

Quite unflattering phrases are often heard against a large family, as if more than two children are born by inadequate personalities and drunken alcoholics. Of course, everything happens in this life, but it is impossible to consider individual cases as a whole. This happens in families with one or two children, so there is no point in arguing - they are all completely different.

The language of communication

A variety of interests, characters that form further relationships are always present in any society, therefore, in families where there are two, and even more so three children, there is a constant need to communicate with each other. These guys, to a much lesser extent, manifest such character traits as laziness, selfishness and selfishness. Such a child early begins to understand that he is not the only one in the family, and takes it for granted when he has to reckon with the emotions and desires of others. Having discarded all the pros and cons of planning a baby, let's think about why it is still worth giving birth to a third child.

The third child is a triple happiness

Perhaps, any mother dreams that she must have a boy and a girl, but as often happens, it turns out the other way around: two girls or two boys are born in turn. In this case, it is worth trying fate again, because very often it is the third born child that is of the opposite sex. But still, if the same thing happens this time, well, it’s clear that this is how it should be for you. You will not stop loving the child because of this - he is your blood! There is an opinion that only with the birth of the third baby comes the realization of the discovery of something new in relations with their children, that he will be like his parents and, like none of the previous ones, give them his warmth and affection.

Are expenses tripled?

Many are afraid that with the advent of three kids, material costs will increase exorbitantly. Of course, costs will increase, but not so much that it becomes a reason for a woman's reluctance to give birth. A thrifty mom will definitely keep a lot of good things that will be useful to her in the future. As we know, children grow very quickly and do not have time to wear them out, so the expense item for this fast-flowing part of a child’s life can be safely excluded.
And things like toys, favorite books, bicycles, and much more - all this can also be passed on “by inheritance” from an older child to a younger one. Most importantly, teach them frugality.

There will be no free time

When one child grows up in a family, he, of course, will require a lot of attention, because he, still very small, needs constant communication. And with whom to communicate? Only with mom and dad. Two children find a common language, but they often fight among themselves for the attention of their elders. But one has only to gather a company of three children, that's all - the parents are free, the children can spend hours enthusiastically doing their own thing. Of course, three children in a family is a great everyday work, but with a properly structured daily routine, mom will always have time to read her favorite books and her hobbies.

Mistakes in education

Often, in raising children in a large family, parents make a number of mistakes.

One of them is when all responsibility is shifted to the eldest child, sometimes depriving him of childish joys. Often he becomes a "nanny" for the last baby, and he naturally has a feeling of dislike for him. And the child himself, feeling excessive guardianship, in the future may grow up as an egoist and will always believe that older brothers or sisters should be responsible for all mistakes.

Here it is worth considering whether it is necessary to give birth to a third child if you cannot cope with your children on your own and the atmosphere in your house is not entirely friendly. After all, it is very important that each of them gets plenty of parental care and affection.

Therefore, the issue of giving birth or not giving birth must be approached with all seriousness, because children are your everything, your future. In order for the heirs to be born healthy and beautiful, the expectant mother, of course, needs to lead the right lifestyle, give up bad and bad habits, and admire the perfect and beautiful more. And then, for sure, a desired, strong and beloved child will be born. Joy and happiness to you!

Useful video on whether to have a third child