How to answer the question "Why are you not married yet"? You are married how to answer.

It so happened that some time ago you, imperceptibly even for yourself, entered the age when, it turns out, it is already customary to be married and preferably with children. Apparently, while you were feeding your 17 cats, a certain Council of Elders was formed, who decided that from now on you can and should be blamed for the lack of a stamp in your passport. This should be done unobtrusively so that no one suspects the existence of the Council, as if casually asking, “Why are you not married yet?” Relatives from some Soldanesh have been saving money for your wedding for 10 years, your parents worry about your glass of water before you die, and in the eyes of your friends you can read sympathy, like for children starving in Africa. You have been crucifying for a long time in front of your married friends that, they say, you don’t believe in the institution of marriage, except perhaps in its detrimental effect on the relationship itself, that marriage is a formality and a tribute to the public and all that, and you have already put it on.

For the most part, it is difficult for people to understand that NOT ALL girls want to get married. If a man does not want to marry, this is normal, but if a woman, then something is clearly wrong with her. And at some point, everyone is massively trying to figure out what, in the end, is wrong with you? Even men, as a "compliment" ask this completely stupid question. If you are facing this problem, I advise you to take a deep breath and read these 10 tips on how to answer the question “Why are you not married yet?”.

And I can keep a man without a stamp in my passport

“You don’t want to say that there is some other reason for this whole farce, do you? Come on, all of you are afraid that tomorrow you will be left with nothing with children, a mortgage and a damaged reputation, so you are tying men to you, operating on family values. I don't have any problems with that."

My family is cursed

“I haven’t told anyone about this, but I like you, so listen. Many centuries ago, a young lumberjack from a neighboring village fell in love with my great-great-great-great-grandmother. The most beautiful lumberjack in both villages, all the girls gathered to watch from behind the bushes with what power he cut his ax into the trunks of oaks and firs. But he was lonely, because he made friends with a local witch, whose notoriety had grown for miles and miles around. Only my great-great-great-great-great-grandmother was not afraid and married a handsome man. The witch could not bear the betrayal and cast a curse on the entire woodcutter family. Since then, every girl in our family who has married, after a few years of married life, becomes a widow. For several generations of girls, if they marry, then only in a civil one. Just don't tell anyone, can I trust you?"

Why do you care? I still wouldn't invite you to my wedding.

“And in general, don’t you think that only people who I can’t get nasty can ask such questions? Better friends, relatives, whom I did not choose, but whom I have to love, my boss, after all, what do you even think of yourself? Get out of my bed!"

Will you pay for my wedding?

“Today everything is so expensive, and so many gluttonous relatives will want to fly to the capital for free salads and scotch. And after all, everyone around is greedy, nothing will pay off, but with this expensive dress, what then to do? And I want a honeymoon in the Maldives, so that like people, and not like you in Bulgaria on hot trips.

I can provide for myself

“If one morning I wake up with an insatiable desire to cook borscht for someone, grumble about the fact that the apartment is always a mess, if I suddenly need a person who will constantly compare me with his mother, forget about my birthdays, give on March 8 frying pans or tasteless underwear - I will definitely, definitely get married.

I'm traumatized by my parents

“My parents were constantly arguing and fighting. I remember how the little one, barefoot, ran out of the house, and through the snow, into the night, away from quarrels and screams, from blood smeared on the walls, broken dishes, and neighbors knocking on the door. And then the police, testimonies, tears, and my mother pressed me to her chest with bloody hands and said: “Don’t ever get married, daughter, they are all good before the wedding, and then they will beat you!” I remember these words so much that now I will never be able to. Does he hit you too? Not? So it will be soon."

Same-sex marriages are not officially registered in our country.

“My kitty and I are saving up for a trip to Lass Vegas to finally legitimize our relationship. You would know how difficult it is in our world to be not as mediocre as all of you. Everywhere you look, there is condemnation. We have been dreaming for so long about our little lesbian happiness, somewhere on the ocean, in a small lesbian house, and so that many adopted children run around, who will be teased by the evil children of heterosexual parents all their lives ... "

They say there is no married sex or very little, so I'm not in a hurry ...

“By the way, do you yourself regret being married? How long have you been married? And how often does this happen to you? Poor…”

My vibrator, unfortunately, does not have a passport.

“Once I bought a little suit for Ken from a set for Barbie dolls, put it on my favorite vibrator, bought expensive champagne, set a chic table, turned on the Mendelssohn march, said “I agree!”, we kissed, had dinner and indulged in the most passionate night of love in my life. You can judge me, but we bet that I have sex more often than you?

The next 8.5 months, I'm afraid that it will be difficult for me to choose a dress in size

“Yes, you got it right. And then there is another problem, I have no idea who the father is ... or rather, who exactly. You know, we - unmarried girls - have so many promiscuity that we have long lost count. Every night from grief we quietly cry into our pillows and envy you - married. You are our standard, we dream of being like you, gathering in huge cheerful companies and talking about children, posting all sorts of wonderful aphorisms about marriage on Facebook, putting photos from a wedding photo shoot on our profile picture ... and we so fucking want to be stopped finally asking “why aren’t we married yet?”!!

A stereotype has developed in society - a girl after 25 should be a family woman. Why is this rule absurd in the 21st century?

Perhaps the most frequently asked question to girls after 25: why are you not married? You can hear it from anyone - from relatives, from friends, from colleagues and former classmates. Until now, in modern society, there is a stereotype that a girl after 20-23 should be married and have children, and it is quite natural for a man to be a bachelor until the age of 30.

But even the stereotypes that exist in society are not a problem until the girl herself begins to feel discomfort and even a sense of inferiority during such a question. Therefore, the first thing any girl should do is to answer this question frankly for herself. Perhaps our material will help in this or set the right direction for thoughts.

Situation #1: Like working, building a career

The prospect of career growth is the most common reason why girls are in no hurry to get married. And this is not an excuse. It is time for modern society to get used to the fact that the age of 23-28 is the most ambitious and active not only for guys, but also for girls.

To condemn a girl for the fact that, having spent 5-7 years on training, she seeks to realize herself in the profession, it would be at least wrong. Career opportunities today are truly the same for everyone. Therefore, if you are once again asked a question about marriage, then simply answer that everything is ahead of you and immediately “puzzle” the interlocutor with your achievements and new projects.

Situation #2: I want to, but later

The next thought, which it is high time for society to come to terms with, is that marriage, like marriage, may not be an end in itself. It is impossible to put a cliché that every girl, having reached puberty, begins to dream of a husband and children. Marriage is a decision that a person must come to. And there is nothing strange or surprising that the girl does not answer “yes” to the first marriage proposal.

Let's see how they sometimes talk about unmarried women around 30. If she is 30, she has children and she is divorced, then it means that she is a little unlucky in life, but everything is still ahead. If she is 30, she has a good job, but she has not yet been married, then the label “loser” or “no one marries her” is immediately hung up. Although today the statistics clearly demonstrate to us that it is marriages that are created after 30 (including after divorces) that are stronger and more conscious.

So, if just marrying anyone is not your goal, then smile confidently at the questioners and follow your life path.

Situation #3: I don't really want to

But the situation is different: the girl is attractive, sociable, she has fans and is internally ready for a serious relationship. Moreover, she has already tried and continues to try to build these relationships and is literally striving to get married. However, the result of each new relationship is the same - a break.

Of course, without specifics, it is impossible to describe all the possible causes of these gaps. There are a huge number of them, and many are associated with the behavior of the woman herself. But today we want to pay attention to cases where the desire to get married is self-deception. If a girl grew up in an environment where a standard scenario for the role of a woman in society, as a spouse and mother, was formed, then under the influence of others, she strives to get married at 20+. Exit only because it is necessary and so accepted.

And what happens to her own desires? If deep down she is not ready for marriage and acts only under the pressure of public opinion, then it is quite natural that her behavior on a subconscious level creates situations leading to a break.

To make sure that this situation is not about you, ask yourself the question: what do I want from marriage? If your desire is sincere, then you will immediately have a clear picture in your head with the smallest details about how you imagine your family life. If all aspirations are dictated by the desire to be like everyone else and “get married” once so that everyone falls behind, then there will be no such picture. And you can be advised to do everything possible to get everyone behind you right now. And then you can live in peace and build your future.

What to answer the tactless question WHY NOT MARRIED

respectful answer

did not meet a worthy
and I'm fine with one
I want to wait with such an important decision
in the next 5 years I do not plan, but we'll see
I don't want responsibility

Answer a question with a question

why are you interested?
why get married?
what, is it time?
what about married? will I be happier?
Do you have a candidate in mind?
I don’t see any advantages in marriage, can you tell me?

Joke!

"When will you get married?" Answer: “Just today they were going, but overslept. Let's set an alarm for tomorrow!"
"Why do not you have a boyfriend?" Answer: "He was, he died of happiness."
Do you want to get married? Answer: “No! I continue to have a great time!”
“They say married people don’t have sex, so I’m not in a hurry!”
To a man: "I'm waiting for you to get a divorce", to a woman: "I'm waiting for your husband to get a divorce."
"Aren't you going to get married?" Answer: "I'm going every day."
“I have a crown of celibacy on me ... my grandmother told me as a child that there was no hope for marriage ...”
“I can’t decide: there are three lovers, but you can only marry one”
"Prince William is already married"
Answer as in a joke: - Why don't you get married? - I can't, I keep thinking about your husband... - About my husband?! -Yes, I think God forbid the same will fall ...

And do not be offended by those around you and your relatives, they are worried, looking for a new topic for conversation or get bored ... and burn with curiosity. And, most likely, they are simply tactless, it is unlikely that they want to offend you with this question. You just need to learn not to worry about these issues and listen to your own desires.

How tortured these nasty questions: Are you married? And how much do you earn? Are you on a diet? How to learn to answer such tactless questions quickly and in an original way.

I didn’t get married for a long time, and I was tortured by all sorts of familiar aunts and girlfriends and others interested in my personal life: "Are you married?" or "Aren't you going to get married?" . For people who are sure that every girl dreams of buying a wedding dress from birth, it is easier to answer something like: “Yes, I have already divorced, now I am looking for a new victim. Are you married yourself? And how is your husband, handsome? or "It's too early for me to get married." Option: “Scientists have proven that after marriage, people are less likely to have sex. So I'll take a walk again ”- it worked very well on my annoying girlfriends.

After some time, I got married, I thought everyone would leave behind, but it wasn’t there. A month after the wedding, everyone without exception began to pester with questions, Am I pregnant and when am I going to . I had to laugh it off: “There are no problems, we just know that there is contraception and we know how to protect ourselves” or “While we are rehearsing conception.”

She became pregnant, now the curious began to be tormented by the question: do I suffer from toxicosis . I had a desire to make an inscription on a T-shirt “Toxicosis does not torment me, but you?” And another from this series: “Is my husband glad that I got pregnant” the answer is: “No, she sobs all day long.”

You meet an old acquaintance somewhere on the street and always: “Hello, what's new?”, My husband usually answers: “What do you remember from the old one?”. Or they will see me with a child: “Oh, this is yours,” I thought: “No, I rented it from my neighbors.”

My mother-in-law comes to visit us, sees that I am still breastfeeding a one and a half year old baby and every time it starts: “It’s time to quit, how long are you going to feed him?” She joked: “Until you enter the institute, they say that the longer you feed, the more chances you have to get a higher education.” She probably envies me that I'm as thin as a chip, I feed for so long, and her plump daughter's milk disappeared very quickly.

On the subject of weight. Since childhood, I was thin and my grandmother terrorized me tips on how to get better. In her understanding, a woman should be plump like a bun, although she herself retained Madonna's weight to deep gray hair. At first she simply answered: “I want to be a model”, then: “Let everyone envy” and, finally, categorically refused to talk to her about this topic. Helped. Now that, due to sleepless nights at the crib of her little son, my weight has dropped to the level of the highest paid fashion models - she is silent.

Not everyone “suffers” from thinness; girls who are prone to fullness have to fend off the annoying: "And you got better!" , I advise you to answer: “Yes, what are you? There is a crisis in the world, I am swollen from hunger.

Of particular interest is the question: “How much do you earn? What about your spouse? . For a long time I could not figure out how to answer such tactless questions, but in the end it turned out: “There is enough for life with oil” - so far it worked.

Of course, it is important to understand a person out of idle curiosity is interested or really sincere. We have to look at the situation. If a friend asks, wanting to offend or find a new topic for gossip, it is better to limit yourself to: "It's Private" Let her think what you mean by that. The main thing is not to lie, you will harm yourself with a lie.

How tortured these nasty questions: Are you married? And how much do you earn? Are you on a diet? How to learn to answer such tactless questions quickly and in an original way.

I didn’t get married for a long time, and I was tortured by all sorts of familiar aunts and girlfriends and others interested in my personal life: "Are you married?" or "Aren't you going to get married?" . For people who are sure that every girl dreams of buying a wedding dress from birth, it’s easier to answer something like: “Yes, I’m already divorced, now I’m looking for a new victim. Are you married yourself? And how is your husband, handsome? or "It's too early for me to get married." Option: “Scientists have proven that after marriage, people are less likely to have sex. So I'll take a walk again ”- it worked very well on my annoying girlfriends.

After some time, I got married, I thought everyone would leave behind, but it wasn’t there. A month after the wedding, everyone without exception began to pester with questions, Am I pregnant and when am I going to . I had to laugh it off: “There are no problems, we just know that there is contraception and we know how to protect ourselves” or “While we are rehearsing conception.”

She became pregnant, now the curious began to be tormented by the question: do I suffer from toxicosis . I had a desire to make an inscription on a T-shirt “Toxicosis does not torment me, but you?” And another from this series: “Is my husband glad that I got pregnant” the answer is: “No, she sobs all day long.”

You meet an old acquaintance somewhere on the street and always: “Hi, what's new?”, My husband usually answers: “What do you remember from the old one?”. Or they will see me with a child: “Oh, this is yours,” I thought: “No, I rented it from my neighbors.”

My mother-in-law comes to visit us, sees that I am still breastfeeding a one and a half year old baby and every time it starts: “It’s time to quit, how long are you going to feed him?” She joked: “Until you enter the institute, they say that the longer you feed, the more chances you have to get a higher education.” She probably envies me that I'm as thin as a chip, I feed for so long, and her plump daughter's milk disappeared very quickly.

On the subject of weight. Since childhood, I was thin and my grandmother terrorized me tips on how to get better. In her understanding, a woman should be plump like a bun, although she herself retained Madonna's weight to deep gray hair. At first she simply answered: “I want to be a model”, then: “Let everyone envy” and, finally, categorically refused to talk to her about this topic. Helped. Now that, due to sleepless nights at the crib of her little son, my weight has dropped to the level of the highest paid fashion models - she is silent.

Not everyone “suffers” from thinness; girls who are prone to fullness have to fend off the annoying: "And you got better!" , I advise you to answer: “Yes, what are you? There is a crisis in the world, I am swollen from hunger.

Of particular interest is the question: “How much do you earn? What about your spouse? . For a long time I could not figure out how to answer such tactless questions, but in the end it turned out: “There is enough for life with oil” - so far it worked.

Of course, it is important to understand a person out of idle curiosity is interested or really sincere. We have to look at the situation. If a friend asks, wanting to offend or find a new topic for gossip, it is better to limit yourself to: "It's Private" Let her think what you mean by that. The main thing is not to lie, you will harm yourself with a lie.

It just so happened that you yourself noticed, as she entered the age when it is already customary to be married and have children. Everything in your life began to change when your friends and classmates, one after another, began to get married. Since then, your mother no longer discusses fashion trends with you for hours and is not interested in what your girlfriends were at the party and who invited them to dance. Now her views have changed, now she is more concerned about topics related to changes in the lives of her friends and acquaintances - which of them got married and who is expecting a baby?

30 years- this is the age when every girl should be ready to listen to endless talk about marriage, wedding and children. It is from this age that parents and relatives begin to ask questions like: “Are you going to get married yet?”, “Do you like this guy?”, “Are you already talking with Pasha, who looked after you at school?” etc. If you are annoyed by such questions asked by people close to you, then this indicates that you are still a small child yourself and are not ready for an independent life.

When communicating with loved ones you people need to adapt to their mood and expectations. Even if their questions seem uncomfortable to you, you need to remain calm, “not start”, but politely and confidently answer them. Understand, parents and relatives wish you only the best, and they ask questions like: "Why are you not getting married?", "Has he proposed to you yet?" etc. because they wish you happiness, being sure that a woman should not be alone for the rest of her life, without a family and children.

And in general, if young woman has authority on, earns well and knows his own worth, then a simple question: "Are you still unmarried?" should not lead her into a stupor, even if it was asked by a person who is jealous of her and wants to spoil her mood. Self-confident and independent girls decide for themselves whether to marry or not. As a rule, they have a lot of admirers, but they are in no hurry to get married, and they answer any questions about marriage: "Don't get married, no matter how married you are!"

If you're pissed off when people call you an old maid or ask: "Are you going to marry yet?", then this is a sign that you are dissatisfied with your life and perceive any criticism in your address very painfully. You can no longer continue a conversation spoiled by such a question, even if a tactless comrade, seeing that you are upset, immediately tries to smooth out his guilt with the phrases: “Sorry for immodesty” or “I see you didn’t like my question, you don’t have to answer” .

To react so to the question: "Why are you still?" not properly. When you hear him, don't show that he hurt you. Remain calm and look the other person directly in the eyes so that he understands that you are worthy of respect and he should not have asked you such a question. With a look, let him understand that you are not interested in his opinion and answer him so that he no longer dares to ask you about marriage. The answer to rudeness should be creative, preferably with humor.

Here are sample answers to the question: Why are you still unmarried?":

1. What's the difference to you? I'm still not going to invite you to the wedding.
2. You will know a lot, you will grow old quickly.
3. Will you lend me money for the wedding?
4. You are interested, you and marry me (if the guy asks the question).
5. The one that suits me has not yet been born.

6. No worthy!
7. What do you have to do, except to be interested in other people's problems?
8. Why do you need to know this, do you want to hold a candle in my bedroom on our wedding night?
9. You will be the first to know about it.
10. Haven't walked up yet.

11. And who told you that I am unmarried?
12. And for what purpose are you interested?
13. What did I forget there?
14. What's good about being married?
15. Do not take!

16. As soon as, so immediately.
17. Marry one, others will be offended.
18. For the prince - I don’t want to, but ordinary guys have long been dismantled.
19. I take my time, like some people.
20. Waiting for your husband to divorce.

We cannot change other people, but we can learn to control our emotions. Often tactless questions are asked by those who want to assert themselves at the expense of someone. It is not necessary to take to heart the questions of those whose curiosity and arrogance go beyond all limits.

It is necessary to answer tactless questions confidently, without hesitation for a long time, just as Winston Churchill did in his time. When one woman, in the midst of a political dispute, got personal and blurted out in his face: "If you were my husband, I would pour poison into your glass!" Churchill calmly replied: "If I were your husband, I would drink it , even if he had guessed that there was poison in the glass!