The meaning of life after 45 years. Work and social relationships

Psychologists call the age of 45 - 50 years the period of maturity, a difficult and difficult time for a woman. There are a lot of problems to solve in this difficult period of life. It is no coincidence that it is called the crisis of maturity. A woman lives in anticipation of the autumn of life, which one does not want to think about. But her breathing and her steps are becoming more and more distinct. So how is the stage of maturity in women? How do they manage to overcome all its difficulties and problems, of which there are a great many

Spatial changes

A woman always remains a mother, but there comes a time when you need to qualitatively change this role. Grown-up children are no longer in need of maternal love and care. And this means that more time is left for the role of the mistress of the house. One should not think that this is boring and painful. The psychological space of the family undergoes changes during this period. The woman was and remains the keeper of the hearth. But by this time it is empty: the children are rushing to freedom with all their might, they are ready for an independent life. They have their own lives and their families. For a woman, this is a source of great stress. New social roles that need to be mastered are falling like snow on our heads. Just yesterday, strangers enter the circle of close or distant, but relatives. You need to learn how to build relationships with them. And here are the grandchildren. Already? Grandmother? Great! But what is it? Aging and wilting. And there is a serious problem of finding one's place in these new relationships, the adoption of new social roles, which requires a lot of physical strength and mental energy. Where to get them?

• Try getting creative with your new (baby-free) nest;
• Learn to rationally do all the work around the house.

Physiological changes

The wilting of a woman occurs gradually: the first bells appear after 40 years. Yesterday I was running in high heels, but today I already want to throw them off from fatigue and put on something more comfortable and reliable. More recently, she could work all day and spend the night with friends. And now, by the evening, fatigue sets in, and apathy sets in. Yes, the years are taking their toll. The process of transition from puberty to the extinction of sexual function is called menopause. There are no clear time limits for the onset of menopause and the duration of its course: for some it comes earlier and lasts several years or even imperceptibly, while for others it comes later and stretches for years.

There is a process of restructuring of the body that cannot be stopped: this is how the function of the ovaries weakens, and the production of female sex hormones gradually stops completely, the so-called hormonal storm and all its attendant phenomena are launched.

The lack of sex hormones causes all sorts of ailments. So a previously balanced woman becomes irritable and nervous. The character begins to change, there is a pickiness to others, capriciousness, and even quarrelsomeness. The mood changes several times a day. Feelings of anxiety and fear cover for no apparent reason. Insomnia is becoming a common occurrence in a woman's life. She feels that something is wrong with her. Periodically occurring flushes of blood to the face, a feeling of heat and profuse sweating cause a lot of inconvenience. And the increase in blood pressure makes her completely incapacitated and a regular patient of the clinic. The body's metabolic processes change. Dysfunction of the thyroid gland leads to the risk of serious diseases: oncology, diabetes, atherosclerosis, and so on.

The first signals of the troubles of their body cause anxiety and a sense of hopelessness in women. The onset of old age cannot be stopped by any force. And many are resigned. But life goes on and it is important to maintain health at this stage of the transition. What to do?

• Be as attentive as possible to your well-being. At the first signs of illness, consult a doctor, undergo the necessary diagnostics, act proactively in order to prevent the occurrence of serious diseases.
• Give up bad habits: smoking, drinking alcohol.
• Review your diet and eliminate foods that are harmful to health from your diet. Do not overeat: gaining extra pounds is easy, but no diet will help get rid of them.
• Physical activity plays a more important role than ever in a woman's life during this period of life. Don't let yourself be lazy. Find time and energy for sports and walks. Be smart about your exercise choices.
• Listen to your body and try not to harm it. At this stage of life, health is in your hands. The quality of life now and in the future depends on it.
• Be attentive to the needs of your body: allow yourself to be lazy if your body wants it, organize a short daytime nap if possible.

External changes

During this period, the appearance of a woman begins to change not for the better: the figure loses harmony, fat is deposited most often in the abdomen and hips. Here the gait loses its lightness. Facial features become less clear, double chin and wrinkles appear. The reflection in the mirror does not inspire optimism. It's hard to accept your age. And she involuntarily reaches into the past, more and more often she remembers herself as a twenty or thirty-year-old. It leaves an imprint on her image. Some women begin to lead and dress like teenage girls, which looks ridiculous and ridiculous. This is due to a panic fear of their age and of the future. The age of 45 - 50 years is the time to work on the future: not to look for yourself in the past, but to dream, make plans and act now.

• Love yourself, your body and face. Find time to take care of yourself. Find an opportunity to visit a beauty salon, listen to the advice of beauticians, master the techniques of applying makeup and facials.
• Be stylish and sophisticated. Choose clothes carefully: they should emphasize the advantages, and not stick out the flaws. So youth clothing can rather emphasize age, but not rejuvenate.

The crisis of maturity and family relationships

The crisis of maturity is associated with the empty nest syndrome. The psychology of a woman is such that she is more attached to children, she has a more developed sense of love for them, responsibility for preserving the family. Therefore, she is acutely worried about the departure of children. There is a feeling of emptiness, the meaning of life is lost. The family is undergoing changes, and this affects the marital relationship. Both a man and a woman are going through difficult times during this period, which is why mutual support and understanding of each other is so important. No one and nothing now prevents you from reviving dormant or already fading feelings and nurturing mature love. And this requires a lot of effort and intelligence.

• The time of crazy passions is gone. Surround your husband with care and love.
• Communicate, remember, dream and make plans. Communication in adulthood brings spouses together, revives love and creates spiritual intimacy.
• Become a therapist for your spouse. Experiencing the problems of your age, you are better than anyone able to understand your spouse.
• Take care of your appearance, take care of yourself. The attractiveness of the wife is an important factor in maintaining sexual relations in the family.

But it is especially difficult to overcome the crisis of maturity by a woman whose meaning of life was only children. With their departure, complete loneliness sets in for her, which complicates the course of menopause. It should be understood that an interesting time of life is coming for her. She is now free from many responsibilities and can take care of herself, her health and start a new relationship. Maternal love for children should be reborn into a feeling of friendship based on love and trust.

• Do not try to connect your future life only with children. You have fulfilled your social mission: you have raised, educated and released them into adulthood. Give them the opportunity to become independent and responsible.
• Analyze your life, think about your achievements and losses. Remember what you dreamed about and what you failed to achieve. Try to realize your unfulfilled dreams and plans.

It should also be noted that family relations during this period are undergoing a crisis. The number of divorces among people 45 - 50 years old is increasing dramatically. Marriage relationships often do not stand the test of time. A woman, busy with her problems and worries, does not notice that her husband is also striving to escape from the family. Infidelity and subsequent divorce deal a huge blow to a woman's physical and mental health. So life drives her into a dead end. The past depreciates, the present loses its meaning, there is no strength to think about the future. Psychological death sets in. But the woman will endure, time will help her to suffer everything. She will learn to cope with stress and be able to be reborn to a new life. She, a woman, is like a fabulous Phoenix bird, capable of being reborn from the ashes to a new life.

Maturity and sex in a woman's life

At all times and in all societies, sex was considered the lot of the young, but for mature people it was not even appropriate to think about it. Being a sexy man of any age is now accepted by society, but a middle-aged woman who shows sexual interest in the stronger sex is perceived as something indecent. Few men and women are well aware of the physiological aspects of sexuality and the laws of sexual life.

The peculiarity of female physiology is such that it takes years for the development of her sexuality. And only by the age of 35 - 40 - 45 years does the flowering of a woman's sexuality begin. This is physiology, and the head dictates a different behavior: "Old, late and indecent to think about it." But here a certain contradiction is revealed: the sexual function of a man fades much earlier than that of women. This is where the problem of 45-year-old spouses looms. What to do if the husband pays less and less attention to the sexual aspect of the relationship, and is completely related to the TV or computer? After all, if female sexuality has been preserved in adulthood, if there is a need for sexual activity, then the rejection of it carries a danger to health. A woman herself must understand a lot. Married 20 or even 30 years often quench feelings in and of themselves. The habit of seeing a wife uncombed, loose, always dissatisfied will not lead to the emergence of sexual desire, especially in adulthood.

So, a woman aged 45 - 50 years will live an important stage in her life. With her mind and heart, she stretches into the past (stop a moment), but the future inevitably approaches. And right now you need to work on yourself in order to preserve youth and become a “berry again”.

A huge number of women aged 40-45 suffer from the loss of their former harmony. Difficulties arise regarding fat burning. You can make life easier for adult ladies who make significant efforts to correct their figure, for this you just need to follow the recommendations of knowledgeable specialists. So, we will tell you how to lose weight after 45 for a woman and look younger than her age, giving the most common and proven rules for maintaining an ideal body shape.

Weight loss and hormones

Causes of weight gain after 40 years

In preparation for menopause, climacteric metamorphoses occur, the production of sex hormones decreases or fluctuates, and dysfunction of the thyroid gland is not excluded. Hormonal restructuring often creates a state of insulin resistance, so there is no natural decrease in the percentage of glucose in the blood. Against the background of a lack of estrogen, metabolic processes can slow down, which provokes weight gain. These changes predispose the body to diabetes and obesity.

The balance of hormones in the female body

A necessary step is an examination by an endocrinologist, a specialist will be able to assess the balance of thyroid hormones that regulate metabolism. If there are problems, the doctor will suggest therapeutic measures to create an acceptable balance of hormones. Often, women over 40 who are actively involved in sports and practicing the most effective diets do not see the positive results of their efforts due to abnormal hormonal levels. It has been noticed that menopause prevents successful weight loss, so you must first normalize the hormonal balance and improve metabolism, thereby eliminating the ground for gaining unwanted mass. After making sure of the restoration of health, it is possible to introduce a balanced nutrition system and the necessary sports loads.

Slimming and youthful appearance after 45 years: pleasant things available to every woman who takes care of her health and properly cares for her body

Interesting and useful facts for 45-year-old women

Cleansing the female body

You can become slim only under the condition of timely bowel cleansing. This is done in a natural way, constantly adhering to the correct drinking regimen. Drinking plenty of pure water helps to eliminate harmful substances and waste, thereby facilitating the process of digestion and protecting against excess weight. With a lack of fluid, the blood thickens, causing gluing of blood vessels and the formation of blood clots. Maintaining the water balance in your own body can be seen in the transformation of dry skin, smoothing wrinkles and speeding up metabolism.

Motor activity of women

A sufficient amount of muscle tissue allows the female body to live in conditions of normal metabolism and intensively burn fat. After 45 years, due to aging, muscle mass goes away and is replaced by body fat. To maintain muscles, you will have to regularly engage in any sport that is suitable for health reasons.

Diet for adult women

Arguing on the topic of how to lose weight after 45 for a woman and look younger than her age, it should be noted the inadmissibility of a sharp weight loss, the danger of strict diets and, especially, hunger strikes. The ideal option would be a measured, but persistent weight loss. Women who have undergone dramatic weight loss are faced with the problem of sagging skin, tissue ptosis and premature wrinkles. With a simultaneous cessation of the supply of nutrients to the body, the risk of developing diseases increases. It is optimal to lose a kilogram per week, it is safe.

The harm of stress

You need to do everything possible to protect yourself from stress. Constant psycho-emotional overstrain causes disruption of the digestive system, which leads to inadequate absorption of food and bloating. Depressed people often experience cravings for harmful high-calorie sweets.

By adhering to the following tips, you can bring your nutrition system back to normal:

• minimizing the consumption of animal fats, fast carbohydrates, sugar and salt;
• breakfast is important, it can be represented by a salad, cereals, scrambled eggs or a protein shake;
• snacks should be light, it is better to use healthy foods for this, rather than sweets;
• fatty foods are not suitable for dinner;
• you can eat in the evening, even after 18 hours, the main thing is that it be light food;
• you need to reduce the daily calorie content of the diet according to age, lowering the number of calories every 5 years by 200 units, for example, for 35 years old, 2000 kcal daily consumption will be acceptable, for 40 years old this figure should decrease to 1800 kcal, by 45 years old - daily calorie intake can be 1600 kcal;
• to protect against common diseases, it is necessary to take measures already at the age of 45, for example, the prevention of osteoporosis is a sufficient supply of calcium to the body;
• at any age, an emphasis on proteins is useful, they should prevail in the nutrition system, this is true even after 45 years.

General nutrition rules were given, but it is better to practice an integrated approach in everything. Ideally, a recovery diet should be developed by a specialist, taking into account the individual characteristics of the body.

It is clear from the text how to lose weight after 45 for a woman and look younger than her years, namely, you need to try to properly organize your sleep and wakefulness regimen, continuously take care of your body, undergo medical examinations in a timely manner even in the absence of significant ailments, lead a healthy lifestyle, eat right, by all means play sports and stay positive.

"At forty-five - the woman is a berry again!" - says folk wisdom. Indeed, it is not uncommon to see women who have gained a second youth after forty-five. But even more often you can see women who are aging dramatically, losing their sense of themselves as women, and - the worst thing - their health is collapsing, it is these women who sometimes become regulars in hospitals.

The same with men: "gray hair in a beard - a demon in a rib", which does not always mean negative manifestations. Sometimes this demon concerns the revival of relationships in one's own family, radical career changes, the search for new hobbies, the emergence of travel and the development of attention to one's own health. And others become nervous, irritable, rush about in painful searches, disappointed in these attempts, losing the respect of loved ones, faith in themselves, and sometimes falling into destructive addictions.

What's happening? What distinguishes one from the other? And what real tasks does life after 45 put before a person?

Let's try to walk through the most acute, "pain points" of this period.

Relationships and sex

The life of a woman after 45 in terms of relationships and sex

For a long time, doctors and psychologists have voiced the idea that the age of over forty is a real sexual flowering of a woman. However, it often happens that a woman, firstly, is afraid to admit it to herself - after all, she is a “matron”, often a mother of children and, in general, a “respected woman in society”. This image clearly does not include various "romantic nonsense".

In addition, the ideals of eternal youth, actively cultivated in Russian society, encourage women to believe that at the age of forty they acquire a “non-marketable appearance”, and vivid manifestations of sexuality simply do not match their appearance. The life of a woman after 45 often indirectly assumed the transformation into a "grandmother", into an "illiquid asset" in terms of attractiveness.

One can talk about such manifestations of misogyny (i.e. contemptuous attitude towards a woman), the origins of this phenomenon in society for a long time, but this is rather a topic for another article. Now I’ll just draw attention to the fact that women themselves sometimes take it for granted - the need to “fit” and “have a presentation”. And in the case of "inconsistency" - forbid yourself to show your true and age-appropriate bodily and psychological needs.

However, regular sex in this period is the key to normal health, adequate experience of the upcoming menopause and the ability to prolong one's own youth. And it is not enough to admit it - it must also be implemented.

Meanwhile, previous marriages, sometimes, exhaust themselves, or a woman was left alone, but busy raising a child, could not seriously devote herself to relationships. At the age of forty, children, as a rule, are no longer babies, to one degree or another independent. And it's time to allow yourself "nonsense".

It can be said more broadly: the life of a woman after 45 is a time when you can afford a lot, regardless of the assessments of others, because we are talking about how the whole second half of life will turn out. And to live, maybe another thirty, forty years. And having crushed sexual impulses in herself, a woman risks her health and youth, which she does not want to lose.

Alina, 51 years old. At forty-seven, relations with her husband frankly deteriorated, the spouses moved away, cooling set in. However, at work Alina was seriously interested in a young man, twelve years younger. At first, Alina avoided him, and then decided that she had nothing to lose. Having gone into this relationship, the woman blossomed, even seriously went up the career ladder. After some time, they opened their own business with a friend. Interestingly, Alina is still married. He has been in a relationship with a friend for three years now. It is difficult to talk about the prospects, but the main thing is that she is full of strength, constantly improving her work and taking care of herself. She says that even if they break up, she does not exclude the possibility of other relationships, and is not even sure if she wants to continue living with her husband.

Immoral? Maybe someone will appreciate it and so. But at the age of forty it is a question for women, and for men to the same extent, about saving themselves. And if the spouse withdraws from the situation and does not want to maintain a serious relationship - is it necessary to deny yourself the opportunity to be alive? And can one person be responsible for what two create?

There is another, no less important, purely psychological aspect of the relationship. If at the age of twenty, thirty years, marriage was often supported by social aspects - children, limited financial situation, status was still important, then often after forty all these "cementing elements" cease to be so serious.

Both partners in marriage have every chance by this age to take place as professionals, to learn how to earn, to be less dependent on public opinion. Children have already become adults, or at least they are so independent that they do not need the constant presence of their parents.

In general, it is quite natural that at this age it is the deepest possibilities of relationships that begin to be valued to a greater extent: common interests and the ability to spend time together, the depth of contact, the degree of trust and openness, the quality of communication. But social factors go by the wayside.

And further, either the couple develops towards a greater deepening of contact and finding out what partners can give each other exactly as people, like a man and a woman, or the couple, having fulfilled the basic social functions, does not find any underlying reasons to live together further. Life after 45 This is the time to realize and realize your real needs. And it is quite logical that revisions of relationships occur in people at this age quite often. This is often facilitated by middle age crisis, which induces to question past landmarks in general.

Revision is not always bad. At this age, a person has a chance both to realize their truly deep relationship needs and to build these truly mature relationships. And with whom, with an existing partner or with a new one - everything depends on not only one. Those partners who see this goal both tend to stay in the relationship.

Man over 45 in a relationship

In men at this age, there is a natural fading of sexual function. And sometimes the same demon plays a cruel joke with a man: realizing that his sexual life is nearing sunset, a man sometimes tries to urgently “snatch” the last crumbs of female affection and recognition from the fair sex from life.

This is done by different methods, and it is not always possible to implement this in your own family. It often happens that a certain pattern of perception prevents you from seeing your own wife along with her mature changes. A man gets used to seeing her through the prism of an already existing “picture” and, as a result, lives with his own fantasy about her, and not with a real person who is changing. Therefore, a man cannot adequately take advantage of a woman’s activity and reconsider relationships, finding in them a new source of strong emotions. Although it happens otherwise.

Maxim, 49 years old. He contacted me about career prospects. Meanwhile, he told how things are in the family. . When he felt that he was starting to “give up”, he decided not to give up. He began to go to the pool - not alone, with his wife, more often he began to devote time to general leisure, because his son had already grown up. “I spent my best years with this woman, and I want to revive our relationship, breathe a second youth into them, because we still have a long time to live together!” he says.

It can be said that life after 45 is a time of quality. And it is a man who often needs to understand this idea. A completely reliable way to preserve youth and full-fledged sexual function is meaningful, very comfortable and high-quality contact with a woman. By numbers and show-off, one can achieve an impression, an appearance. But not depth.

Even if the previous marriage has already outlived its usefulness, in the new one, regardless of the age of the chosen one, maturation will continue, and maturation is a movement towards the depth and awareness of contact, feelings, intimacy. Then the man has a chance to remain a man for a long time.

The most common idea that age successfully discredits is that youth was a standard to be measured by. But in fact, youth is a time of gaining experience and mistakes. And it is under this that a resource of endurance is given. And age brings its own values, which you can notice (and use them, develop them) or not notice, and all your life you unsuccessfully pull yourself up to the standards of youth, inevitably disappointed.

Life after 45: work

Woman after 45: professional and social life

Of course, the age limit puts pressure on women much more than on men. However, women, nevertheless, have their own trump cards - their life experience, the ability to pay attention to people's relationships in the professional process and build them.

Inessa, 52 years old. At forty-seven, she felt that the child no longer needed her, in the service she clearly felt the pressure of younger ones. I realized that I need to try to change something. And she went to law school. Many told her that she would not be able to compete with the young. "Let it go!" she waved, “I study for myself, I like it!” First, friends asked for advice. Inesse has had three successful divorce proceedings. It was life experience and the ability to competently talk with people and catch their weak and strong points that allowed her to solve situations more peacefully, somewhere resorting to persuasion, somewhere - to a reasoned, logical and firm conviction. Over time, she became one of the leading divorce lawyers in her city. Now she has a line of clients.

At this age, experience is a trump card that must be able to competently sell. But many women do not believe in their own strength and constantly compare themselves with the young - it seems that the latter are more in demand everywhere. However, this is only if you stand in the pose of a petitioner.

But if you tune in to the fact that you will have to look for the amount of work yourself, you can achieve more. Young people are waiting to be offered, because they have nothing else to offer themselves, except, in fact, youth and potential opportunities. And they are not yet experienced enough to develop their own business strategies.

An adult, experienced and experienced person does not have to wait for offers. At the same time, anything can become a business - even if you know how to get along well with children, you can turn tutoring into a business. The main thing is to know exactly what you want and can do, and not wait for someone “to be interested in you” and offer something.

The life of a woman after 45 is, in a sense, the time to offer herself to the world without fear and false modesty, which confirms many successful examples, despite the usual social patterns: in Russian society there is already a layer of women who are actively pursuing their careers and business at this very time own life.

It is sometimes difficult for a person to change from the system “I get a job and they guarantee me something” to the system “I myself find the amount of work for myself and only I can guarantee myself”. For some reason (perhaps because of the rather strong dependence on public opinion, the assessment of others, which is widespread specifically in Russian society), it is assumed that offering oneself is shameful and humiliating. But if you were “called” - this necessarily means that you are in demand and needed.

Interestingly, people who started their own business at a young age rarely experience age concerns in connection with work. They already understand that age cannot stop their development in this regard, because there is no age requirement for organizing their own business.

But even if your specialty is such that it is extremely difficult to establish your business with it, this does not mean that all doors are closed to you. There are many ways to justify your usefulness to companies and prove your competence. To do this, you need to have confidence in your own quality, which sometimes goes away because of the attitudes I mentioned: a person begins to feel insecure because of the belief that he is already “second-class” and that “offering oneself is shameful.” Confidence, however, is something that can be re-engineered and realized.

Men after 45: professional and social life

It seems to be easier for them - life after 45 for them does not always imply falling out of the cage, and with a good combination of circumstances, you can finish at least up to seventy, and sometimes even more years. But in reality, few people succeed.

Svyatoslav, 46 years old. He worked as a lawyer in a large company, had a very solid income. And it was at this age that he began to feel terribly uncomfortable in the company. He was annoyed by the team, relations with the authorities did not go well. It always seemed to him that he was pushed aside, not taken seriously. That they interfere with him everywhere, climb into his affairs, reproach him with his age.

It is not hard to guess that in the end he lost his job. And he could claim in the labor market for a much lower salary. What played a key role here? Panic. A man gets entangled like a fly in a web of his own and insults, is afraid of the young, bosses, tries to prove his experience and, as a result of this fuss, loses the last vestiges of respect from his colleagues and bosses.

Meanwhile, the less a man makes himself dependent on the environment (and even more so - the less he fantasizes about the thoughts and feelings of others), the more worthwhile employee he will look like. We communicate on a non-verbal level, it is worth remembering this. And if a person transmits fears, tensions, and insecurities to the outside, then sooner or later they will be perceived as an unreliable employee, and here the age “at the same time” will suddenly become noticeable as a plausible pretext for dismissal ....

In fact, age and the limitations associated with it are only in your head. This is especially true for social life. What have you really lost with age? Has your experience or skills diminished? Hardly, rather the opposite. If you have developed in the profession, then you are like wine: the older, the more expensive. What makes you think that you have lost something?

Yes, there are certain processes in the body that occur sooner or later (menopause, for example, or a change in the elasticity of the skin, hair structure, accumulated chronic diseases appear over time), but all this, firstly, happens gradually, and you can always notice, and secondly, it happens at an individual pace. Now is the time to talk about health.

Health

Women's health after 45

Yes, the impending menopause is a serious thing, and one must be prepared for it. But faced with the facts of the signals of his own body, a person always has a choice: how to deal with them, how to perceive them, and what kind of life strategy to choose as a result.

Zulya, 55 years old. By forty-five, I realized that hypertension was progressing, that I had become less mobile, gaining weight. By the time she decided to train in fitness, she was a fifty-sixth size. She was terribly shy, even cried after training - it was hard to come to a gym full of young trained girls. But she didn't give up. I visited an endocrinologist, selected replacement therapy. By forty-eight, when menopause began to come into its own, Zulya was already size forty-eight, hypertension receded, substitution therapy was selected and adjusted by the doctor. And Zulya got a taste of the movement, she even began to engage in extreme sports with her son. And at fifty-five, she doesn’t take the complaints of her friends seriously - “Age? I almost don't feel it!"

A woman's health after 45 is reflected in everything - mood, relationships, interest in life. Not because she "surrendered", but because, firstly, the value of comfort increases, and secondly, sensitivity, attention to yourself over the years with interest in yourself grows. And this is good, because this is how the ability to feel your body better and do many things ahead of time, and not "when it's too late" develops. In this period, well-being can be safely put in the first place. Health does not go nowhere - we lose it ourselves.

In matters of working with psychosomatics, and especially in the topic of aging, where the health of a woman after 45 is considered, because it is women who are more concerned about this topic, we often used this technique: you need to find the point at which a person felt at his peak. As a rule, most give an age somewhere around thirty. And this is what we do: we remember those sensations, actions and ideas that were characteristic of a person at that time. Then we choose a set of measures, both psychological and physical, designed to return self-awareness to that indicated point. The rest is just work. Which in most cases brings good results.

The health of a woman after 45 is what she can make of it herself. Genetics, outside influences, "circumstances" and "fate" all have some influence, of course. But not decisive. And this is the very age when a person either takes responsibility for his health or he is already beginning to be seriously determined by external and allegedly independent factors, with which one can only come to terms and endure.

Think: what and who really prevents you from going in for sports? What's stopping you from leading a more active lifestyle? Who is stopping you from realizing long-standing desires? Who prevents you from doing what you did, say, at thirty? Who prevents you from reviewing nutrition and, if necessary, thinking about quality medical care? Realistically, nobody. But all sorts of patterns and fear of condemnation from the outside perfectly interfere: “yes, you won’t jump into the last carriage”, “oh, why is she so young? at her age, it’s long overdue….” etc.

But this choice is made only by ourselves: what is more important for us? - avoid possible misunderstandings or make serious investments in your own body? And if you don't, think about what beliefs are behind it? Your “age” and some “impossibility” are most often also in your head.

Men's health after 45

The biggest misfortune of men is the inability to recognize the fact that the male menopause (andropause) exists along with the female. But most men over forty (at least in Russia) dismiss this problem.

And meanwhile, there are many aspects. For example, there is a connection between testosterone levels and the state of the vascular system, modern medicine offers hormonal support for a smoother passage of andropause and adaptation to a slightly different mode of operation of the body, and especially if the lifestyle has not yet been rebuilt - perhaps some men should think about replacement therapy like women.

But, of course, a doctor is not a panacea for aging. Testosterone that doesn't go through the right stages of metabolism can pose a threat to even the most well-chosen replacement therapy. And therefore, life after 45 is the time to rethink your principles of life: change the mode of activity, the amount of movement, review nutrition and deal with bad habits, if any.

Many people at this age are faced with a problem: lifestyle change is a way out of the comfort zone. On the one hand, there is a desire and a need not to slide into rapid old age and “survival”. On the other hand, for this you need to get out of the habitual and, perhaps, start doing something that you have not done before or did not do enough.

And here it is necessary to resolve this internal conflict, because a lot of energy is spent on the conflict itself: on the one hand, you would like to improve your well-being and not be afraid of old age, on the other hand, you have limitations inside that do not allow you to start acting. You scold yourself for “laziness” and as a result spend even more energy, which is less and less left for change.

The good news is that for a psychologist, working with such resistance is commonplace, such issues are often resolved in psychotherapy, and it doesn’t take much time to figure out what motives are really important to you, learn to rely on them and realize why you something slows down and what you can do about it. So if resistance to change is a serious problem for you, then it's time to think about a series of consultations with a psychologist, this issue is completely resolved.

Finally

Life after 45 is wonderful because your body, body (especially with the right attitude) can still do a lot. And at the same time, at least you have every chance of being an adult and mature, even in some ways already a wise person. The ancient Greeks believed that the heyday of man falls exactly at forty-five years. This despite the fact that then the average life expectancy was much less.

A mature person, as a rule, has already gone through a series of his searches, learned to determine what is really important to him and what is unacceptable, got to know himself, realized his personal characteristics, understood what he can change and what remains constant inside him, in some ways he has already revealed his talents, or at least learned about their existence, studied them.

It makes no sense to compare yourself with the young, you can say that you have much more. You have your own vector, your own niche, your own advantages. You are smart, experienced, you have completed many social programs, the children have already grown up or at least do not need your constant presence, or perhaps you have decided not to have children - anyway, by the age of about 45, these decisions are final.

Most likely, you somehow took place in the work, perhaps you even got bored with it, and again it's time to change something. And now you are even more free. And you are free to do what you want, knowing well what it is. This is appreciated by many - both in relationships and in work.

And the only obstacle to all this is social patterns.

What life should be like after 45, how a person should feel at this age, how to look, what lifestyle to lead, what to want ....

But think about it: if these attitudes were productive, would we have such a high rate of male mortality at a relatively early age (50-60 years)? And would we have such a huge number of "grandmothers" in society, that is, those women who, just about 50, refused to be women? And would hospitals be so crowded with elderly people?

…Living in other countries and doing diving (sport in itself is not easy, especially if we talk about the weight of the equipment and the need for concentration), I have often seen people in their 70s and 80s who continued to play the same sport and generally lead the same lifestyle , as in 40. And how many elderly travelers can be seen around the world among representatives of other countries?

In some countries, there is a more productive, in my opinion, pattern - "life begins at forty." But for some reason, this motto, uttered, interestingly, by the heroine of the Oscar-winning Soviet film, eventually took root in completely different countries. However, anyone can take it into service, if they really want to.

At the age of 45-55, a global restructuring begins in the body of every woman - the transition period to menopause. At this time, the ovaries stop producing two types of female hormones - estrogen and progesterone. If more than a year has passed since the last menstruation, then a new stage in life has begun. This is an absolutely normal process, it is impossible and not necessary to avoid it. But you can make this period one of the most comfortable.

Hormones are responsible for many processes in the body. Therefore, when he stops receiving them, most women notice a deterioration in well-being. According to a recent Life Without Pause survey, the majority of women aged 45 to 59 admit that they are worried about their health: 62% are concerned about the condition of the skin, 23% experience hair problems - they complain of loss, dullness. 59% of those surveyed said that they could not maintain their previous level of physical activity due to the manifestation of some kind of disease.

If heart problems begin, women go to a cardiologist. If the condition of the hair and skin is depressing - to the beautician. With excess weight, they go to a nutritionist or experiment with diets, with an unexpected throw in a fever, they go to a therapist. “But in fact, with all these problems, you need to go to the gynecologist first of all,” says Vera Smetnik, Dr. med. Sci., Professor, President of the Russian Menopause Association. “All of the above are symptoms of menopause that can be successfully dealt with.”

Step two. Don't be afraid of hormones

“At the mention of the fact that with the onset of menopause, a woman needs to take hormones to feel good and get rid of unpleasant symptoms, some categorically refuse drugs,” continues Vera Smetnik. “Where it came from, we doctors know well. In the 2000s, Americans conducted a study, scared everyone with hormones, and people all over the world stopped taking them, which, by the way, provoked a sharp surge in diseases. The main conclusion of American researchers is that hormones do not reduce the risk of cardiovascular disease and may increase the risk of breast cancer with certain types of hormone therapy.

It turned out, according to V. Smetnik, so. The Americans decided to invest in the older age group. They included women from 50 to 79 years old in the program and gave everyone the same dose and, frankly, not the most successful type of hormones. At the same time, neither age, nor the initial presence of cardiovascular diseases, nor overweight, nor diabetes were taken into account. As a result, we got a predictable result: the development of breast cancer and cardiovascular diseases in some groups. These data were presented to journalists without detailed analysis. It took 10 years to sort out the errors of this study and prove that, with an individual selection of the type, dose and route of administration of drugs, hormone therapy is effective and safe. In 2013, six international associations prepared a consensus on the important preventive and curative value of hormone replacement therapy and identified the age group of women who should be prescribed hormones. When everything was clarified, the World Menopause Association developed new guidelines for the use of hormone therapy, and the recommendations of the Russian Menopause Association are on the way.

However, in our country, traditionally the word "hormone" causes fear. A vivid example: in Switzerland in 2008, out of 1 million women of the corresponding age, 153 thousand took hormones, and in our country, in connection with anti-propaganda, only 130 thousand out of 21 million.

Whereas, in fact, the right hormone therapy (now in Europe we prescribe “natural” hormones - estradiol and progestogens) helps a woman feel great, preserve the beauty of her skin and hair, and avoid many diseases, complex fractures. Timely intake of hormones leads to a significant reduction in the risk of cardiovascular diseases, fractures, colon cancer, and a decrease in the frequency of genitourinary disorders. At the age of 45-59, a woman can improve the quality of life, reduce age-related diseases and preserve youth. The content of collagen in the skin decreases by 30% with age, so if hormone therapy is started in time, serious cosmetic and plastic interventions will not be needed. In postmenopause, normal weight increases by 3-4 kg. Again, hormonal preparations will help not to dial it further, which give the body the opportunity to gently adjust to the new regimen. We must not forget that with age, women who are deprived of the usual hormonal replenishment have a high risk of developing dementia (like Alzheimer's disease).

Step 3. Be sure to take tests

Like any other drugs, hormones have contraindications. Therefore, it is impossible to prescribe them without tests. Ideally, all women after 40 years of age should undergo such a medical examination every year.

Analyzes and studies for the appointment of hormones:

1. Mammography to rule out breast cancer. It can take 15-20 years to develop, and only a mammogram will show the presence of a problem. Unfortunately, no other tests, including markers, will show the disease at an early stage. Women younger than 35 years of age are prescribed ultrasound of the mammary glands instead of mammography.

2. Ultrasound of the genital organs to exclude tumors of the ovaries and uterus.

3. Smears from the cervix for oncocytology.

4. Level of cholesterol and its fractions.

5. Measurement of pressure every other day. It's very simple, but very important. Don't expect a crisis!

6. The level of glucose (sugar) in the blood for early diagnosis of diabetes.

7. TSH levels to rule out thyroid problems.

8. Densitometry - a study that determines bone density. Most often, they suggest examining the lower leg - this is meaningless and informative only after 70 years. It is necessary to check the lumbar spine and femoral neck, especially if there are complaints of pain in these areas or in the family there were fractures of the femoral neck.

Step four. Trust but check

Despite all the positive aspects, there are contraindications to hormone therapy, its inadequate administration can be harmful.

When hormones should not be prescribed:

- If the woman is over 60 years old. The body has already undergone such changes in which hormones can cause complications.

- If menopause occurred more than 10 years ago - for the same reason.

- If there are tumors of the reproductive system (small uterine fibroids are not a contraindication), bleeding, cancer, thrombosis and liver disease.

- If there is an individual intolerance to drugs. Even strawberries can not be eaten, what to say about medicines.

In the appointment of hormones, an individual approach is very important. For example, there are drugs that are taken orally. If there are problems with the gastrointestinal tract, varicose veins, patches, gels, etc. are selected. Each case has its own set of hormones.

Please note that depending on the condition of the woman, drugs are taken for no more than 5-7 years.

An important point: menopause may not come immediately, but gradually. It happens that the delay lasts 5-7 months, then "critical days" begin. During this period, it is important to protect yourself: pregnancy is quite possible. There are special contraceptives with "natural" estrogens for this age group that will also reduce the number of hot flashes, if present.

Step five. Look for the positives

45 years is the peak of working capacity. 71% of adult women say they feel 10 years younger during menopause. 60% believe that the age after 45 is the brightest, there is more time for themselves. 75% feel that they have acquired wisdom, 60% are happy with the established relationship with their children, 51% are happy to take care of their grandchildren. 50% of women at this age try new activities that they previously did not dare because of self-doubt.

Time, of course, is behaving simply meanly. The conditional gap between 30+ and 45 feels like summer - endless, full of opportunities and pleasures. It seems that at this peak of activity you can linger forever. But in summer there is an insidious August, and in life there are insidious 45, when deep anxiety begins to undermine: everything will end soon. In the end, we have before our eyes an example of parents who, from omnipotent giants, at some point turned into ordinary mortals, rapidly losing confidence and strength. So this is what comes out, we are threatened with the same thing? A little more - and that's it? And what to do there, at the unimaginable distance of autumn and winter, which is yet to come?

In fact, everything is not so terrible and quite amenable to analysis. If you look fear in the eye, you can keep it in check. Suffice it to say to yourself that anxiety is largely related to the upcoming menopause and potential loss of attractiveness, to fears about whether the work will save up for a decent life, and also about whether the achievements suit you and whether the chosen path turned out to be right. But the ratio does not always save: the very fact that at this turn you need to decide something and do something with your life can drive you into depression. How you form the creed of your life "after ..." depends on the inner position. Depression does not threaten those who naturally follow their presets: “survival” is “survival”, “active second half of life” - how else? Those who find themselves in the middle hover painfully in doubt: I don’t want to “survive”, I don’t believe in the “second half of life” (rather, I don’t believe that you can organize it for yourself - such as in the glossy pictures of the “photo bank”).

In general, the best way to overcome doubts is to get into the field of people who have successfully and differently solved this problem for themselves. Literature, events, forums - today there are enough resources for inspiration and energy for change. And it makes sense to start this path just at the age of 45 - with reflections, clarifying your "wishlist", building mental perspectives.

The “second half” does not mean that you have to prove something to yourself again, achieve, fight and seek, find and not give up, otherwise you will inevitably slide into “survival”. Membership in the club of the “second half” is not based on an empty place: in the base there are all previous achievements that form the basis, and then a new game begins with oneself “can I try, will I still decide like this”. And if you do not want to play it, then your choice is “survival”, which you have every right to.

But at the stage of doubts, one passionately wants changes - large-scale, fatal ones that will shake up and prove that nothing is over yet, that a new turn is still possible. Record holders among such convulsive attempts are moving and divorce. There is a kind of symbolic “burning of bridges” in this, the physical cutting off of a “past life”, a draft that failed. The uncertainty that opens up before you in the event of such a decisive step is frightening, fills with adrenaline tremors, but also inspires: a very young feeling of beginning appears. However, we are not young, that's the point. And an indicator of our maturity in such a situation is a clear awareness and planning of what is happening.

"You will go left"

The simplest (for all its complexity) “breakaway” at the age of 45+ is a change of job or in general the field of activity. If only because the risk of total loss is obvious here. If the prospect of finding a new job at this age causes fear and despair, you are most likely influenced by powerful social clichés (“nothing good will be offered at this age”) or your level of professional self-confidence is at a low level. The situation, of course, is aggravated by the general economic situation and the personnel policy associated with it. Therefore, it is important to put your self-esteem in order - for example, systematize the idea of ​​your professional achievements, at least at the resume level (career and salary growth, awards, company ratings), plan advanced training courses and generally bring your competencies to the requirements of the time.

And the effect of tunnel vision will help to overcome social clichés and other objective “negativity”: “I see the goal, I don’t see obstacles”, when the focus is only on the task, the steps to the solution of which you have calculated, and everything superfluous is discarded, you don’t see it, it doesn’t in focus. Revisit the Soviet film "Magicians" - this is a great example of how, with concentration, to pass through the wall, even if, perhaps, not the first time.

Here we also include another option "light". At this age, it sometimes seems that everything is too late and nothing is interesting, and all sorts of “hobbies” are perceived as something strained and unnatural. So should you look for new hobbies in an attempt to somehow blossom your life? Hobbies are not part of life's agenda and you don't owe anyone anything, but the world of social media and the media regularly reports that "everyone" is into something. And now we already feel not quite complete in comparison with these “all”.

Passion should bring joy, and not become another "duty". It makes sense to learn a language because it makes you want to learn it, not because the magazine said that you “form new neural connections” this way. You only need to practice tango, master photo editors or plant flowers only when, at the mere thought of it, everything inside shrinks with joyful anticipation. In this sense, “45+” is no different from “10+”, when you were drawn to the theater circle like a magnet, and my mother drove me to the piano with kicks.

"And then I'll go to the right"

The temptation is more difficult - the impulsive dream of moving to another city, or even a country. Perhaps you want a higher level of comfort or good ecology, a social lift for children, other professional opportunities or better education and medical care, or maybe it's about reuniting with your family or loved one. Timid thoughts on this topic began to acquire the confidence of a real desire - which means that it is time to provide them psychologically and switch to the register of what is really achievable. The first thing you need is to explore the country of your dreams as much as possible so as not to confuse, as in a joke, tourism with emigration. The fear of the unknown is overcome by good preparation: it is important to accurately imagine the new conditions: where and what you will live on, what you will do, with whom to communicate, what resources to rely on. The main resource is self-confidence: it was possible to win before, and it will work now. But you won’t be fed up with faith alone, which means you need to find support from those who live in the place of your dreams and get their advice, even if they are not real acquaintances, but forum participants and social network users.

You need to leave behind you the most cleared site, but not the “ashes”: close all projects and loans, repay debts, provide a power of attorney for a loved one just in case, enlist connections and support for those who remain, check the availability and correctness of all documents.

A new beginning is always a challenge. First of all, it is a challenge to a new self, whose experience and status have now been reset. Nobody knows about you, and you don’t know anyone, you will have to re-grow connections and prove your worth. However, you have such experience, even if you have not had to move before. Remember how once you had to get out of the children's cozy cocoon of family love and support and go to first grade? That's pretty much how it's going to be. Only now you will have to become a mom and dad to yourself and, nurturing self-esteem, endlessly remind you: you are the best and deserve the best, you are valuable and significant, no matter what happens, you have many victories and merits behind you.

"You are the queen"

Pretty much the same story with divorce. At the age of 45+, this is the strongest challenge to yourself, your fears, your individuality, hopes and courage. The same stress, the same uncertainty and hesitation, the same timid voice of doubt to the last: “Maybe not? Maybe stay? Is there anything else here for me?” – and the same tickling, spurring sensation… A bit like the last second before a parachute jump. And in the same way, this feeling needs to be provided with confidence and a willingness to move on to practical solutions (