There is only one person who is able to lead fate - you yourself. It is foolish to sit in anticipation of the impossible, one must achieve success, act, be decisive, show fortitude. It happens that circumstances are against us, what to do? The answer is simple:

1. do not despair;
2. never give up;
3. set goals for yourself;
4. fight for your happiness no matter what.

Agree, every person at least once suffered from depression, stress, misunderstanding or betrayal, he wanted peace, a quick solution to the problem. Alas, we must perceive the realities as they are. Until there is determination, there is nowhere to take results.

You can get rid of any obstacle and it is necessary to do it with enthusiasm, understanding that obstacles change thinking, make us stronger, wiser, more demanding.

For every trouble in life, you should look for an individual approach, which depends on many factors: goals, values, priorities, etc.

Sometimes it seems that there is no way out, making the right decision is an impossible task. But life goes on, and it's much better to be an active participant in it than to just sit and suffer constantly, and then get angry at yourself because of missed opportunities. Difficulties make it possible to enjoy joys, victories, accept defeats, adapt to changes.

So how do you make the right decision and not regret anything? This is what will be discussed in the article.

The main thing is motivation

Change not for others, do not prove anything to anyone, just be conscious of the opportunity to motivate yourself correctly. Understand why it is needed, what are the ways to implement the plan, then even a difficult decision will be easier.

The most stubborn and responsible one who really wants to achieve results understands that he simply has no right to give up.

In fact, motive is an impetus to action. If arguments can be made, then this can no longer be attributed to spontaneity and thoughtlessness, which means that there is no risk of harm.

It is important to analyze your own thoughts, if in doubt - think carefully, take your time.

Let's set an example

If a girl is overweight and dreams of a perfect figure, then it is reasonable to take an example from athletes. You can seek advice from a nutritionist, and not starve yourself in a panic, ruin your health.

Motivation is great, but it needs to be real, helping you make difficult decisions, not creating more trouble.

trust your intuition

As a rule, it is better not to make an important decision in a hurry, you need to think, weigh all the pros and cons, but if you need to decide quickly, do as you originally intended.

Usually the subconscious tells us the correct option. What comes to mind first, often works with a bang.

The more we think, the more questions and doubts appear.

1. Never bring yourself to nervous exhaustion.
2. Don't suffer.
3. Learn not to delay solving a problem.
4. Act harmoniously, perceive what is happening without panic.

Before trusting your intuition, think about whether you or someone you know has been in such a situation before, is it possible to predict the outcome, is there enough experience and knowledge to independently determine the difficulties that have arisen?

Use Descartes' Square

There is a simple scheme proposed by Rene Descartes that will simplify the task of making the right decisions.

For example, we think about changing jobs, but we are afraid that we will screw up. Let's plunge into reality and determine how adequate thoughts visit our heads.

• It is correct not to dwell on one of the parties, but to analyze the act with its possible consequences.

It is best to work with the square in writing. Detailed written answers will push you to the right decision without a doubt.

• What does a Descartes square look like:

For all four questions, it is worth giving extensive statements that will help you stay in the same job or quit, break up or continue the relationship with the person. We need to find arguments in order to convince ourselves, to understand how strong values, goals, desires, priorities are.

There is always at least one person who is involved in our lives and is ready to help.

From the outside, a friend can consider the same situation, only calmer, reason more sensibly. It is easier for everyone when it concerns us indirectly.

If there is no such person, imagine that they came to you for help with such a problem, then you will be able to show calmness and a cold mind.

Decide on your priorities

When it comes to something serious, you should forget about the opinion of the masses, inheritance, collective intelligence.

1. You cannot be negligent, lack of independence, manage your life without the help of outsiders, show your ideas, and do not chase what is in trend.
2. Don't let people impose anything on you. Everyone is different by nature, each has its own purpose.

Based on the character, morality, values, hobbies, field of activity, priorities should be formed. We get what is close to us and makes us rejoice.

The morning is wiser than the evening

For some reason, the brightest thoughts visit at night. Naturally, no cherished insight will happen in the morning, but by delaying the moment a little, you can make a worthwhile decision. It will be rethought several times and with a logical conclusion.

Emotions aside

Always make the final decision yourself. Do not try to push the responsibility away, to protect yourself from the problem instead of trying to solve it. Do not rely on luck or happy coincidence. Take responsibility for everything that happens in life.

Remember: The life position of an outsider is a way of being "as long as no one touches."

Emotions are life, but you always have to take over and be able to manage them. In the heat of the moment, you can do such things that you will have to regret for a long time.

The ability to make decisions is the most important skill, without which you will not be able to effectively manage your life, take responsibility for your actions. Ideally, we learn it from childhood, and gradually, with experience, we find the best way to do it for ourselves. But sometimes the situation is so complex that the process of choosing from the possible courses of action becomes excruciating. In this case, how to make the right decision?

It is impossible to accurately predict future events. Therefore, it is so difficult to decide what to do in a given situation. But the more often you make decisions (by the way, both correct and erroneous), the easier it is for this process, and what you should rely on in the first place.

What hinders decision making

Fears, complexes, self-doubt - these are the main factors standing between you and the right decision. The imagination paints colorful pictures of the horrific consequences of changing jobs or moving to a new home. The burden of responsibility for their actions, from which today many parents are trying to protect their children, seems overwhelming to many.

After all, until you make a decision, you (seemingly) have nothing to do with the consequences. You can say "Circumstances have developed" instead of "I did not succeed." We want assurance that everything we do will get us where we want to be. The trouble is that such guarantees are simply impossible to obtain.

Therefore, so many people, in fact, do not make any decisions - for years they have been in unsatisfactory, empty relationships (after all, who knows how everything will turn out if they leave), they are engaged in an uninteresting unloved business (you must somehow earn a living), and if " locked up, ”and you need to make a decision, or it has already been made by someone for you - they continue to hope that everything will somehow resolve itself.

How do we act when we need to make a decision?

Over the course of a lifetime, most people eventually tend to one or another strategy of behavior in a difficult life situation, when it is necessary to decide how to proceed. Fatalists rely on fate, chance, karma, they are convinced that whatever option they choose, everything is predetermined, and in any case everything will be as it will be.

Decision making is a process in which you use both logic and the ability to analyze the existing experience, a sense of self-preservation, as well as courage, the ability to take risks. The ability to put it all together increases the likelihood that the chosen course of action will turn out to be right for you.

How to make a decision

Let's take a closer look at each element of decision-making, see what are the ways to systematize this process, improve each of its components.

Weigh all the pros and cons

By appealing to logic, a person arranges the possible positive and negative consequences of the decision. You can use two criteria - pluses and minuses, you can complicate the system and use the so-called "Descartes square". In this case, you will get not two columns, but a square of four sections, entitled:

1. Pros from positive consequences;
2. Cons from positive consequences;
3. Pros from negative consequences;
4. Cons from negative consequences.

For example, you choose between a more profitable and more promising position, leaning towards the future. Write down all the pros and cons of that. that you will earn less, and all the pros and cons of the fact that in the future you can take a prestigious position.

The Cartesian method helps to expand the angle of view on the situation, look at it from four different angles. But after you do that, keep the number of significant factors to a minimum, leaving in the columns one, the most significant argument for each option. Because the next important point when making a decision is to simplify the choice as much as possible.

Keep it simple

To make the right decision, it is very important not to wind yourself up. Do not build multi-stage schemes, make the choice as simple as possible, remove the unnecessary, leaving only the really important. In the work example above, you ultimately need to decide whether you are prepared to trade today's financial stability and well-being against future prospects.

Another important point follows from this. To make decisions easier, you need to clearly understand what you want, what is important to you, what are your priorities in life. If you don't know what to strive for, where you are going and who you are, how can you decide how to proceed? As Lewis Carroll wrote, "If you don't care where you go, then it doesn't matter where you go, you'll get somewhere."

Eliminate the fear of failure

People who are afraid of making a mistake often have difficulty making decisions. Need, often growing from childhood. We used to think of mistakes as bad grades (for example), because of which we will not be accepted to the institute, and our future will be ruined.

But there is another way of looking at error and any of its consequences. Everything that happens to us, including the wrong decisions, is the experience that we need. In a sense, for the development of decision making, mistakes and the experiences that follow are more important or as important as correct decisions. Without making mistakes (failed relationships, wrong career choices), how do you know what is right for you and what is not?

Every wrong decision brings you closer to the right one. Any experience, in fact, is neutral, positive or negative, it is only our emotional reaction that makes it. What seems like a disaster to you today may turn out to be a great boon in a couple of months or years. You cannot know, and no one can.

Therefore, it is foolish to be afraid of mistakes. Who knows. Where would you be now if not for all those events (including those that you evaluate as mistakes) that have occurred in your life. Therefore, in order to make a decision, it is important not to dramatize, but, on the contrary, to calm down, simplify the situation as much as possible, and take a step forward.

What is the correct decision

And in conclusion, a little about what the “correct” solution is and whether it exists. What are the criteria for correctness to focus on, because there are many coordinate systems? What seems right to some is complete nonsense to others.

Only you yourself, unless of course you are an adult, responsible and independent person (and not an overage child), can choose an internal evaluation system. And still you will not know for sure whether you did the right thing by abandoning one in favor of the other.

Practice making meaningful decisions every day, in the little things. What will you eat for breakfast, what will you wear to work, what will you do in the evening? It's not that hard, you see. Major decisions, such as choosing a place of residence or vocation, are not so different from everyday, intermediate ones, as we used to think about it. “I don’t want to eat porridge today, but I want cottage cheese” is almost the same as “I never want to eat cottage cheese again, but I want to become a vegetarian.”

Think about it a little. Choosing the main things in life starts with choosing the simple ones. When you understand what you want, you gradually begin to understand how to get there. And then there are almost no wrong decisions left in your life, or rather, their correctness loses its hyper-significance, and it becomes much easier to make them.

If you want to be with your beloved man, you need to figure out if you are compatible according to your zodiac sign?

The struggle with doubt is the most difficult thing that a successful entrepreneur has to deal with every day: accept or not an offer, take an order or refuse, invest money in a project or not. Sometimes, this kind of doubt helps to make the right choice and not lose money, but what if it interferes with doing business? Understand yourself and find the answer to the question “What to do when you can’t make a decision?” advice from psychologists.

Tip 1: Give yourself time to make a decision.

Faced with the inability to choose between alternatives, you need to understand the root cause that prevents you from making a decision. Observe the situation from the outside, think about other solutions, or just relax: very often, what at first seemed like a difficult and difficult task is easily solved with a “fresh” head. For example, if you are concerned about the question of where to take money, then after thinking carefully, you will find a solution to this problem, including borrowing money - zajmy.kz.

Tip 2. Trust your feelings and intuition.

A lot of mistakes are made because people are used to making decisions based on the voice of reason, forgetting about the presence of a "sixth" sense. When a person acts according to the dictates of the heart, he does not have black stripes, and all his decisions are correct, and he will never regret them.

Tip 3. Don't go against your principles.

Are you ready to make the final choice, but you need to compromise with your conscience? Refuse such a decision and try to find another way out, because. You still will not get moral satisfaction from the implementation of your plan. And remember: the human mind is used to looking for the easiest solution. But if you have to solve a difficult, confusing situation, the answer does not lie on the surface, and in order to find the right solution, you need to scroll through hundreds of combinations and variations in your head.

Tip 4. Fight doubts

It is doubt that becomes a stumbling block for the implementation of projects that could bring a consistently high income. Just imagine what would happen if Steve Jobs doubted the advisability of developing computer technology, or if Bill Gates for some reason refused to create the Windows operating system?

Tip 5. Accept the need to choose

The ability to understand the inevitability of choice distinguishes a successful businessman from hired workers, because starting a business involves an independent solution to any situation: from minor conflicts between subordinates to the choice of the company's strategic development. That is why many decisions have to be made under the heading "so it should be."

When the choice is made, there is not so much left: to realize the plan. But even at this stage, you may be "in wait" for doubt. What to do to avoid this? If you ask psychologists this question, they will offer 2 alternatives:

1. Imagine that instead of the chosen course of action, you have chosen the worst case scenario. What could happen in such a case? This practice will help you once again to be convinced of the correctness of the decision made.

2. Twist in your imagination, like a slide, the positive moments that the implementation of the chosen solution will give you. This will help you clearly understand the ultimate goal for which your entire company is working.

The right choice for you!

All actions are divided into those whose results can be predicted, and those whose consequences can only be assumed. The most difficult is the choice, in which there is no way to know whether the outcome will be successful. There are situations in which you need to make a decision in a short time. It is at such moments that a person relies on intuition and his mind, which form the necessary balance for the right choice.

What influences decision making in difficult situations?

Correct decisions in various situations lead to the necessary goal. But personality is constantly evolving. When solving important problems and in difficult circumstances, it undergoes transformations. This means that priorities, goals and the person himself are changing. Therefore, when making an important decision, it is worth following the principle of "here and now", and not looking into the future. There are several methods that will help you learn how to make the right choice in career and life matters:

1. 1. Getting rid of the "narrow framework". A common occurrence when choosing one or another solution. It lies in the fact that the subconscious reduces the multiple variation of possible outcomes to a significant minority. When deciding whether to buy a car, a person sees only two options: "yes" or "no". However, alternative steps are not considered. For example, it is worth buying a cheap car or even postponing the purchase and leaving money for more necessary things. There is a compromise between the two solutions that can only be found in proper prioritization.
2. 2. Expansion of choice. A person is too strongly attached to the goal for which he initially set up his thinking, that is, he sees only one solution that is connected with this goal, and ignores others. An example is the adoption of the purchase of an apartment. If she initially made a good impression, and the realtor offered favorable conditions, then the question arises as to whether it is worth buying this particular property. But the fact is that this is the first apartment that was viewed. Also, when moving to another city, you should not limit your choice to one locality. It is necessary to visit several places first, and then choose the most suitable one. Therefore, there is no need to make hasty decisions, it is worth thoroughly studying the real estate market in order to choose the most suitable one from the best offers. It is always necessary to look for an alternative, to consider possible scenarios for the development of events that may occur if a completely different decision is made.
3. 3. Information. When choosing, it is worthwhile to fully study the available data. When applying for a job, a person can ask questions to the boss himself in order to understand what position he is getting, or about the dismissal of a previous employee. You should not limit yourself to one source of information. In the interview, it is permissible to use leading questions. With the help of them, a certain scheme of actions is built, which will positively affect the decision made.
4. 4. Create space for simple solutions. Selection expansion is not always useful. Sometimes, due to the large number of options, a person is lost and it is difficult for him to make a final choice. Therefore, the method of basic priorities is applicable here. In combination with the expansion of options, it is able to simplify the task of making a decision. If a lot of interviews were passed when changing jobs and a large number of employers responded, then you need to compare your priorities with the conditions they offer. In case of a match, this will greatly simplify the choice.
5. 5. Test in practice. Any correct decision is backed up by experience. If there is a choice between two cars, a test drive will come to the rescue. Experience is the basis that is important in resolving contentious issues.
6. 6. Accepting criticism. The latter helps when correct and useful conclusions are drawn from it. A look from the outside helps to supplement one's own picture of reality, to balance arrogance with someone else's uncertainty.

There are times when these methods should not be used. The alternative is determined by the number of advantages and disadvantages, but sometimes the latter are not. If there are no negative consequences from the decision made, then it is worth acting immediately. For example, when meeting a girl, a guy will begin to weigh all the pros and cons, forgetting that he is single and free and wants love.

How to stop having bad thoughts

The right choice in personal life

In personal life, an excessive desire to have information can lead to quarrels and misunderstandings. The partner will regard this as a test or a threat to the relationship. But if mutual understanding reigns in the union, then the chosen one himself will tell everything you need.

Getting rid of fleeting emotions will help you not to regret the choice you made. Many wrong decisions are made under the influence of momentary feelings. Therefore, in difficult situations, it is worth thinking about how you can relate to this issue in 10 minutes or years.

Any choice requires time during which a person thinks about everything and gets rid of the influence of emotions. For example, a wife decided to divorce her husband and go to her lover after he gave her an expensive gift and organized a wonderful evening. But the spouse does this under the influence of emotions that remained after the meeting. Therefore, it is worth considering what will happen if the husband stays with the child, how it will affect him and whether the lover will always be so romantic. To streamline your thoughts and completely calm down, use the following methods:

1. 1. Calm breathing. It is necessary to make 10 measured exhalations and inhalations. This will focus attention and cool emotions.
2. 2. "Ideal me". The person represents the ideal course of events after the decision has been made. However, maintaining concentration, the help of a friend and the ability to wait are also necessary.

Knowing the basic priorities can help you always stick to the main goals and objectives. Sometimes, when choosing, a person forgets about the initial values ​​​​and is distracted by other options. This often happens in personal relationships. Sometimes it is difficult for a woman to make a choice between two men, although subconsciously she has long been made. But thinking about another guy, his qualities and virtues block the image of the already chosen man and repel him from the initial choice.

In making a decision, it is easy to fall into the traps of arrogance, they are called "mine trips". It will seem that everything is fine and good, but problems may begin later. Due to arrogance, a person will not be able to turn back, since he has a strong attachment to choice. This often happens in relationships. At the first stages, it seems to a girl or a guy that this is forever and this choice is the best, and the relationship is idealized. But any relationship is not immune from quarrels and crises that lead to parting. Because of blind faith in the choice made, partners often do not notice that they are not suitable for each other. Therefore, one must immediately understand that the creation of an alliance is hard work and the ability to find alternative options for solving emerging problems.

The use of these methods will help to make the right decision, give the selection procedure clarity and clarity. But they require a lot of time, and decisions do not lend themselves to dry analysis of the mind. A person will never receive absolute information or complete confidence in his choice. Therefore, intuition also plays an important role.