What needs to be done to not be afraid. What if I'm afraid to fight? The Benefits of Martial Arts for Energy and Spiritual Growth

Our expert: Nadezhda Barysheva, PhD, psychotherapist-psychiatrist at the Center for Innovative Psychotherapy

Psychologists have this opinion on this matter: to be yourself is to feel global satisfaction, confidence that everything in your life is going right. No, money and positions do not fall on you from the sky, you, like all people, face difficulties every day. But all this does not prevent you from being sure that you are moving in the right direction.

Unfortunately, most of us have trouble with that kind of confidence. From birth, a person begins to “acquire” rules and regulations. Parents teach how to behave and where to strive, the school teaches how to survive in society, the example of successful acquaintances beckons them to follow their path and also become the owner of a big house and a small dog. And then there’s Facebook every day scrolling in front of you a tape of the happy life of friends. How can you not want to go to a cafe for cupcakes, get married and go to the islands at the same time!

This material was prepared for you by the magazine team Cosmopolitan Psychology

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And so you became a good daughter, an excellent worker, settled in a big house with a small dog, and even made it to Cuba. But you don’t feel happiness, that very global satisfaction, from all this. And it happens that you run after your dreams and your “ideal” life, and they, like in a nightmare, only move away. And it seems that there will be no end to this marathon, and you are already exhausted ...

It's time to stop and think about whether you live your life and whether you are chasing your dreams.

Oddly enough, the signal that we have taken a wrong turn somewhere is given to us, first of all, by the body. Something begins to hurt us - the stomach, the heart, the head. There are problems with breathing, a feeling of a lump in the throat. We tell doctors about our problems, and they shrug their shoulders in response - the examination shows that everything is in order. Later there is irritability, depression. With detailed work with a psychologist, it turns out that a person who is burdened by his existence is subject to all these ailments, he does not like the life he lives.

Interference on the road

What prevents us from being ourselves, which means becoming happier?

family scenario

It is usually "written" by the parents. First, the mother sent her child to a dance school (she herself dreamed of becoming a ballerina since childhood, but it didn’t work out), then the father paid for admission to a prestigious university (he doesn’t feel sorry for anything for the happiness of the blood), and then everyone persuaded the daughter to marry a good person in chorus ( you will be behind him like behind a stone wall). And ten years later, the girl sits at a psychologist’s appointment and shares her “joy”: “I seem to be doing well - my husband, home, children. But why do you want to strangle yourself so much? .. "

It is extremely difficult to jump off the path along which we were directed. Moreover, it is not even easy for us to realize that we are not going our own way. After all, everyone around repeats - you are doing everything right, it’s necessary, this is your destiny, your life. And we nod in agreement and ... complain about headaches and a chronically bad mood.

To understand what is happening, listen to how you speak. Remember how often you repeat phrases from your parents' repertoire? It’s easier to understand if you hear something like “you sound just like your mom” from friends and your man from time to time. Analyze these phrases and you will understand what “inserts” in your life scenario you inherited from your parents.

Fear of change

It paralyzes, drowns out the inner voice, does not let you hear your desires. Some serious shake-up must occur in a person’s life - love, divorce, illness - so that he decides to radically change everything. A series of some events that overlap each other and lead to a boiling point can also move us towards change. In this case, a mere trifle can serve as a catalyst. For example, you tolerated a hysterical boss for two years, and quit because your colleague just didn’t greet you one morning.

pivot point

Usually we look for it not within ourselves, but in others. We try our best to please them and build our self-confidence on their approval. But this support often turns out to be flimsy and unreliable - children grow up, parents leave, husbands and friends change their interests. And then it seems to us that the ground leaves under our feet and everything collapses.

It is much more profitable and more correct to have a point of support in yourself. Consciously separate your desires from the desires of society. A psychotherapist, yoga and other spiritual practices can help with this.

Emotional connections

Interestingly, in the course of evolution, the so-called sensitive neurons were the first to appear, and then brain cells began to form. Therefore, when we are overwhelmed by emotions, the mind and logical thinking are turned off. Emotional ties with invisible threads entangle each of us, firmly tying to people who are not indifferent to us. We are all immersed in experiences: constantly replaying resentment and romantic moments in our heads, diving headlong into anger or guilt. That is why the number of people with neurotic conditions in any developed country rolls over. We do not follow our lives, but our emotions. A man of an African tribe will not even understand the question - what does it mean to live not one's own life. He does not reflect on any occasion, but simply enjoys every day. Or sad if something bad happened. But not for long. And sometimes it is useful for us to take an example from him.

habits

It often happens like this: we understand that we feel bad, but this usual “bad” is safer than some mythical “good”. And when we try to escape from our habitual habitat, a nasty voice arises in our head: “Do you know what awaits you in this wonderful future? That's right - no. Maybe we won't go then? Everything is clear here, we have been sitting here for a long time and we know everything. So what if you don't live the way you want? Your parents lived like that, and why are you better? A simple question often helps to drown out this voice: what will I lose if I still take the risk? Even if nothing happens, I will simply return to my usual state, to my familiar warm swamp. It is rightly said that it is better to try and regret it than not to try at all.

So if you are standing at a crossroads, and on the stone in front of you is written “A habitual life” and “Your life”, feel free to take a step towards the latter. It may not be easy to follow this road, but it is certainly exciting!

Friendly with the head

It is difficult for us to make a decision, being inside the situation. And if you are confused, then you should look at the problem from the outside. Calmly, with a clear mind. Decisions made at the peak of emotions - everything! I'm leaving your job! You are bothering me! - are often incorrect. Take time out, sit or walk in a quiet place and think things through. If after changing your life picture you do not change your decision, act quickly, boldly, without delay.

Get in a circle

People can realize themselves in three areas - personal life (hobbies, friends), work, family. And a person experiences happiness, which means he lives his own life if these areas develop harmoniously. To understand if this is so, mentally draw a circle and divide it into three parts - three areas of life. Now think about which of them you spend more time, energy and desires, and which ones you spend less. If, for example, you give all of yourself to work, then your personal life and family suffer. If you find the strength to pay equal attention to family and work, then your personal life “sags”. And it is equal in importance to the other two areas. After all, it is from creativity and communication with friends that we draw positive emotions that help us cope with important, but not very interesting things. When you understand which of the areas is deprived of your attention, and eliminate the bias, your life will become an order of magnitude happier.

director himself

Yuri Kondratiev, Ph.D., psychologist and teacher in the UNIK Mama program, mamaznaetvse.ru

“Living your life is living, in fact, off the script. Do what you want, and that's the only way. But, as a rule, in order to do what you want, you need to understand your own desires and know how to implement them.

In psychology, there is the so-called "holy trinity" - responsibility / control / guilt. I usually suggest that clients consider the difficulties in their lives based on it. You need to understand that if I control my fate in an adult way, I am ready to take responsibility for my actions and I don’t let other people’s hopes and desires be “hung” on myself (plus I don’t feel guilty for any reason), then I live my life. In this case, I have enough resources left for efforts, to fight laziness, to implement plans and etc.

In the event that I do not live my own life, I automatically begin to live someone else's - this is a simple law of addition. In psychology, this is called compensatory activity. I have a friend who is constantly trying to focus on her married friends with many children. She herself is not married and has no children. Sometimes her actions reach the point of absurdity. Recently, she came to our general get-together in clothes for pregnant women, since two of the five girls present there were in an interesting position. A friend motivated her outfit by the fact that it really suits her. I bet it's not. There are many such examples. And each person has their own reasons for doing so.

As for the pursuit of social benefits or trying to live the right life of good girls and boys, to be "like everyone else" - this is, in fact, a global disclaimer of responsibility. If you watch beauty contests, you know that in the final, the winner usually says: “I am for world peace!” If this is deciphered, then she says the following: I do not plan to do anything, or at least I am not ready to take responsibility for my life.

Lest we get the impression that responsibility avoidance is clearly gendered, I suggest recalling a great cartoon about a man who messed around and endlessly vowed to give his beloved a star and take her to the edge of the universe, while she endlessly scrubbed her pan. And if you continue the storyline, then the girl, tired of hearing about the star, will begin to "nag" her husband - and she will feel guilty. Then they both begin to lose control of the situation and will definitely not be able to live their lives. And it all started with the dumping of responsibility.

A lot of literature has been written about the methods of properly conducting a fight in street conditions. Masters of various martial arts try to pass on their knowledge to students and suggest how to behave in a fight. But all recommendations will be meaningless if a passerby who gets into trouble is afraid of a fight and is afraid.

Many people wonder what to do if I am afraid to fight. Don't be afraid to feel fear. This is a normal feeling that you can work with and overcome it.

Reasons for fear of fighting

Fear of a fight is not something shameful, since its consequences can be very different: from minor bruises to injury or even death.

Fear of aggressive actions is a common problem of young men and teenagers. The reason for fear lies in inexperience, as well as fear of blood, pain and defeat.

For girls, in addition to such varieties of fear, fear is added for their appearance, which can suffer in a fight. This fear is present at the subconscious level.

It is believed that men with a visual vector are more afraid of a fight and pain. These are the properties of the psyche, in which there is increased sensitivity and emotionality.

During a fight, a person is not always aware of the possible consequences and realistically assesses the situation.

Fear and aggressive actions provoke the production of certain hormones that dull brain function. But there is a hormonal surge to the legs and arms, which gives them the command: "fight or flight." In this situation, you need to decide what to do and act. Otherwise, there will be a panic attack.

Why is there fear of fighting? All fears are social and genetic in nature. Parents and their children have the same fears due to the similarity of psychological properties. Certain personality traits are influenced by fears. The level of anxiety, addiction, as well as the speed of the flow of emotions depend on temperament and accentuation.

There are main reasons why there is a fear of a fight:

Neurotic anxiety raises doubts about personal safety. When this occurs, an attack of fear or a feeling of anxiety. There is a desire to surround yourself with care against the backdrop of self-doubt.
Children's fears appear after the first negative experience. They also arise from the fear of punishment. A lot of people can't fight because of their upbringing.
Biological motivation is designed to protect health and life. This creates fear of pain, death, or injury. Sometimes people are afraid not only to get hurt, but also to hurt others.
The fear of speaking in public works if there are spectators. A person is afraid to seem ridiculous and embarrassed. People have an unconscious fear of public condemnation.

A common cause of fear of a fight is the inability to fight.

Fear can appear even in kindergarten, when punishment was received from parents or a rebuff from a stronger baby. Negative memories can haunt you for the rest of your life.

Children with a soft character and intelligent upbringing avoid conflict situations and fights.

How to stop being afraid of a fight?

Having decided on the causes of fear, you can try to overcome your fear. The question is often asked on the Internet: I am afraid to fight, what to do about it or how to overcome fear?

You should not get involved in fights, but there are circumstances when there is no other way out. For example, if the opponent is really threatening and attacks himself. Also, if you need to protect your loved ones.

It is worth analyzing your motives. Often we get offended because we ourselves think up resentments about the actions of another person.

Resentment can be overcome. There are many psychological solutions to conflict situations.

Do not think that if you refuse to fight, everyone will think that you are a coward. Even in the case of consent to a fight, people will not think anything good. Don't worry about the opinions of others.

If the situation with a fight is inevitable, then you need to cope with shyness and take action.

Some methods to help overcome fear:

Psychophysical relaxation and meditation help reduce anxiety and fear. Even one meditation has a positive result. With the constant use of meditative techniques, a cumulative effect is formed. Relaxation allows you to eliminate muscle stiffness and relieve stress.
You can learn certain psychotechnical techniques. Don't overthink things before a fight. Professional wrestlers and boxers plunge into states of emotional outburst and cheer themselves up with loud shouts, aggressive gestures and combative postures.
If there is uncertainty, then you need to work on your self-esteem. This is where training for personal growth comes into play.
Breathing techniques are used to help calm down and resist surging emotions. Rebirthing, yoga gymnastics and Strelnikova gymnastics are recommended.
If the fear is in the inability to fight, then you should go to self-defense courses. You need to exercise and exercise regularly.

Mastering self-defense techniques helps to get rid of fears and gain self-confidence.

An important point is the psychological attitude, which will tell you what to do.

There is a psychological method of setting up for a fight, which is based on the “substitution phantom”. To stop waiting for pain, a fighter identifies himself with an animal: a tiger, a monkey or a crane. As if entrusting himself to the spirit of the beast.

This method helps to turn off logical thinking. Instead, the reflex qualities that are characteristic of a particular animal begin to function.

If there is a fear of pain, then you can choose the image of the tank. This is a steel machine that knows no pain and demolishes everything in its path.

To make it easier to adjust yourself to a certain state, you need to think over the key to transition to the desired image. The clue can be mental, verbal, or kinesthetic. A certain sound will help some to enter the image, and the tension of individual muscles or the representation of the image will help others.

The wrestling or boxing section will help you place and feel your punch.

It is worth remembering that the opponent can easily feel the lack of self-confidence, which will give him strength.

Many varieties of martial arts not only teach self-defense, but also strengthen morale and resilience.

The human subconscious does not distinguish between a real event and a fictional one. This fact will help to recreate a situation where a fight cannot be avoided and lose it in your head.

If a fight cannot be avoided, then the following recommendations should be used:

You need to come to the place of the fight with the look of a winner. It is necessary to behave confidently and look down.
It will give strength and confidence to enter a pre-thought-out image.
It is worth learning in advance effective techniques and practicing.
Good physical fitness is a big advantage. Sometimes fast feet are the best solution.
To understand how to stop being afraid of a fight, you need to understand the psychology of the enemy. He may also experience fear and worry.

Victory consists of two components of the psychological attitude and physical fitness.

The ability to protect yourself is the most important quality. This does not mean that all conflict situations should be resolved with the help of fists. But there are situations when there is a threat to your own life or the life of your loved ones. In this case, it is simply necessary to fight.

Fear is inevitable, but I can't let it paralyze me. I remember lying on the couch in my apartment in Vienna. My feet were on the pillow, my back was wet, and fear was choking me. The situation is painfully familiar - such panic attacks were repeated every week.

1. Fear itself is not the enemy.

After I decided to change my life, I began to explore fear. What causes it? How to stop it? I have always perceived fear as a painful hostile force. But I soon realized that our fears may be a healthy physiological response that guarantees our survival.

When we are faced with a dangerous situation, our body reacts like this: due to the release of hormones, the heart rate increases and breathing speeds up, pressure rises, blood rushes to the muscles. We prepare on a physical level to either flee or fight. This is a healthy response. It continues as long as something threatens us. Then everything calms down until the next danger.

But if fear paralyzes us in ordinary life situations - going to the cinema or the theater, driving a car - it degenerates into a pathological one that we cannot control. And the symptoms that arise to save us are destructive.

2. My fear is related to low self-esteem.

I realized that my worries are the result of low self-esteem, when the whole world seems hostile and intimidating. Because of the tragedies that you have experienced in the past, subconsciously you feel that you are not worthy of happiness, and you live in anticipation of disaster.

You stop believing that you can manage your life on your own. You constantly doubt, therefore fears paralyze thoughts, you are driven into a corner and do not understand how to get out of this vicious circle. I went from low self-esteem to believing in myself.

3. I'm afraid of fear itself

As soon as I analyzed the moment in which I was paralyzed by fear, I realized that I was terrified not only from the very fact of fear. But also from the consequences that it bears. When you have a panic attack, it seems that death is absolutely inevitable. And will overtake you right now.

You minimize all social interactions, stop making plans for the future, thoughts revolve only around fears. You walk around them and you can't get close.

4. Unsuccessful attempts to deal with fears only multiply them.

Every time I cursed my fear, it came back to me. And I felt like a complete failure. I tried hundreds of tricks, but all tactics failed, and the fear progressed.

I realized that anxiety and panic are the result of low self-esteem, when the whole world seems hostile and frightening.

Now I understand that this is due to obsession with fear. The more we want to defeat him, the more we suffer. I was about to give up this fight until my mom rescued me.

5. Give fear a name and befriend it

"Why don't you give him a name?" Mom asked.

After this question, I was stunned.

“Maybe it’s time to make friends with the fear that you constantly run from?” she continued.

At first I thought it was a bad idea. But, on reflection, she gave a name to fear - Klaus. It was the first thing that came to my mind. For a long time it was strange for me to talk to fear, like a small child. But in the end, I was talking to myself (you can do it not out loud).

Gradually it worked. It turned out that we are ready for change. I stopped identifying with Klaus. It helped me free myself.

Life without fear

Klaus spent several years with me. He carefully watched as I stepped out of my comfort zone. And I was determined.

I started with small changes: I chose a different route to work, I asked something from people I didn’t know, for example: “What time is it?”. Of course Klaus wasn't happy with the change. After a while, more and more time began to pass between panic attacks.

Finally, in June 2008, I boarded a plane to Barcelona to give a talk in front of a hundred people I didn't know, and realized that Klaus was gone. Cold sweat, palpitations, past panic. I can enjoy life. I am free.

Make friends with your fear and become happy - you definitely deserve it, I believe in you!

about the author

Bernie Sewell MD, her website.

It's normal to be nervous and afraid. But "normal" has a limit. Nervousness is natural during a date, an exam. Things are bad when you start to tremble when you hear the standard question: “What time is it?”. Psychotherapists who suffer from a fear of communicating are called sociophobes. Life is hard for these individuals. As soon as a sociophobe is in sight - just walk down the street, take a ride in the subway - immediately panic sets in, insecurity attacks. Fear of others causes severe stress, seriously impairs the quality of life, and limits opportunities. A sociophobe often turns out to be out of society, is afraid to go beyond the threshold of an apartment, becomes a prisoner of his native home. But you can get rid of the problem. You just need to change your life a little, find a good psychotherapist. He will teach you how to stop being afraid of people, forget about social phobia.

Why does the fear of society arise and social phobia is born?

An individual begins to be afraid, ceases to trust others when:

bullied by classmates (for poverty, special appearance, fullness, poor academic performance). Often, social phobia affects children with burns, stutterers, and the disabled;
cold, cruel parents refuse to see the child's problems - they ignore, take the side of "enemies", demand the impossible;
the fear of others is instilled by overprotective parents who seek to protect the child from the "cruel world";
the unsociableness of loved ones is also a potential culprit of social phobia. If parents hate to invite guests, have few friends, then the child is deprived of the opportunity to get the necessary communication experience. The social skills of the baby remain undeveloped, social phobia gradually arises.

Fear of others begins at 12-15 years. Sometimes social phobia strikes later - at the onset of 16-20 years. comes at puberty. The teenager begins to think critically. A maturing individual has new responsibilities, the social circle expands. This causes a lot of stress, a desire to hide, to belong to oneself again. The teenager begins to avoid others. He gradually realizes, "I'm afraid of people." Social phobia appears.

Fear of others and shyness are similar but different phenomena. Shyness often affects children 6-11 years old (especially from dysfunctional families). But in adolescence, it passes. Introversion and social phobia are also different things. Those who prefer loneliness are rarely afraid of others.

How does the fear of others manifest itself?

Social phobia has many manifestations. An individual with a fear of society:

wildly afraid of the assessments of others (even indirect ones). A sidelong glance is enough for a social phobia to be covered by a panic attack. It seems to a person suffering from pathology: others evaluate his appearance, clothes, draw bad conclusions. How not to be afraid of people? Social phobia is already inside;
afraid to "disgrace", to show weakness. A person suffering from social phobia often suffers from perfectionism, strives to do things “perfectly”, is prone to self-digging, self-criticism;
afraid of unfamiliar questions. An unfamiliar individual for a person suffering from social phobia is a “stranger”, from whom there are only problems;
- suddenly surrounding "guess" about fear? Covered by social phobia, he is worried that he will "give himself away";
fearful of being the center of attention. Afraid to eat in front of strangers. Refuses to visit public toilets, tolerates;
is afraid of crowds of people (concerts, festivities, rallies).
experiences great anxiety when a relative comes to visit, the boss calls. The social phobe thinks: the meeting will go wrong, when communicating with a relative, he will look like a fool, and a rendezvous with the boss will end with a strict scolding.

Remember! Agoraphobia is often developed in a fearful society - the fear of being among a heap of people. Agoraphobia is the "sister" of social phobia. The two pathologies are "inseparable".

A person with social anxiety disorder has low self-esteem. An individual with a pathology trusts himself perhaps a little more than others. Therefore, the sociophobe postpones treatment. A person who is afraid of society simply refuses to believe his own feelings, considers himself healthy.

A person with pathology is prone to self-flagellation, masochism. The social phobe refuses help, unconsciously seeking to punish himself for his “weakness”.

It is impossible to delay the treatment of social phobia. Otherwise it will get worse, the fear will increase. Without the qualified help of an experienced specialist, it is unrealistic to cure social phobia. Psychologist-hypnologist Nikita Valerievich Baturin He has extensive practical experience in getting rid of fears. Having resorted to the help of proven hypnotic techniques, the specialist will free from the unbearable fear of society, help to feel the taste of life again, and teach to enjoy communication. He will explain what to do if you are afraid of people.

How to stop being afraid of others at work?

Remember: it is unrealistic to "make friends" with colleagues at work. A sharp exit from the "comfort zone" will only increase the fear of society, give rise to new fears. You need to start collegiate friendship gradually:

Avoid group communication. Especially if the group is bosom friends. Among these, you will feel like a stranger. Be content with little first. Talk to individual colleagues, try to find a common topic for conversation. Gradually make friends, the fear will go away.
If you have a business meeting, be sure to carefully prepare to “chat”. Save a couple of jokes, read about the latest political, world news, find out about the people you meet - then you can talk.
Come to the "letuchki", brainstorming, where the entire workforce will be, come in advance. Intuition, of course, advises to come later. Like, colleagues a couple of minutes before the start of the meeting will not pay much attention to you, they will be head over heels in working matters. Better, on the contrary, come early - 10-15 minutes before the start of the meeting. Easier to adapt. You can say hello and chat. Individuals are always less scary than the "impersonal" group.

Remember! Away with disputes - the cat wept at the sociophobe, skirmishes will quickly cause a panic attack, revive fears. Feel the disagreement of the interlocutor? Change the subject instantly.

When you have to make a presentation, prepare carefully. Memory cannot be trusted. make even the genius of rhetoric confused, forgetful, confused by the mumbling. So polish your presentation, take notes, give hints, rehearse a lot.

Visit the presentation room before the start to get used to the atmosphere, less worry. When you start speaking, keep an eye on colleagues with whom you have a close relationship. You can not look in the face, the fear will increase. Just mentally imagine that you are making a presentation for fellow friends, not a group. So gradually you can stop being afraid of people, overcome fears.

How to stop being afraid of people on the street?

To reduce fear, stop being afraid to be among passers-by, attend concerts, ride a tram:

learn to control your breath. Shortness of breath, hyperventilation outdoors appear first. You begin to breathe too quickly, suffocate due to the proximity of the object of fear. Breathing exercises can help reduce anxiety. Deep breaths are especially helpful. Start and end your day with them (take just a couple of minutes). With social phobia, this helps, the fear subsides;
visualize the positive outcome of contacts with society. Close your eyes, mentally imagine: things went well, you calmly walked down the street, successfully went shopping, exchanged a few words with the cashier. Panic attacks behind, social phobia is gone. You have almost mastered the tricks on how to stop being afraid of people;
try to talk to strangers whenever possible. Add a few words if the tram began to vigorously discuss the latest political news. But only a couple of words, otherwise you will quickly feel insecure.

No attacks, stop trying to quickly "put social phobia on the shoulder blades." This will only increase the fear. Act gradually. Go out for a while "in the light", gradually increase the time spent among other "homo sapiens".

Defeating social phobia, forgetting fears is not an easy task, but it can be solved. In addition to the help of a specialist, “self-help” is useful:

in order to defeat the enemy, the enemy must be studied. Keep a diary. Write down your own experiences, analyze factors, events,;
use a piece of paper to describe fears, then try to mentally mock the objects of fear. Imagine: "terrible" individuals are stupid monkeys. Play with monkey fears, feel superior. When you are afraid of your boss, imagine: the boss is sitting in a loincloth, shaking his fat belly, making inarticulate sounds, beating his chest like King Kong. Laugh at fears, gradually reduce their strength;
when speaking, think about the topic, the purpose of the conversation. Get out of your head thoughts about how you look in the eyes of the interlocutor;
look for individuals who have a social phobia worse than yours. Schizophrenics (in remission) will do. Paranoia, social phobia are close relatives, so it is not difficult to find a common language with a patient with schizophrenia;
use your energy wisely. The more effort you spend on things that bring joy, allow you to feel control over your own life, the less social phobia will become;
always remember: strangers don't care about you. Everyone is busy with his beloved, there is little time left for others;
give thanks, praise yourself for your successes. This will instill confidence, raise low self-esteem. Send away the desire to make things perfect. Perfectionism is the enemy of the sociophobe, the cause of disbelief in one's own strengths, an inferiority complex. Remember this. Then the question "How to stop being afraid of people" will be solved;
leave the self-digging. Understanding your own feelings is important. But only without masochism. Masochism is the enemy of the sociophobe;
Throw away alcohol, cigarettes, other “soft” drugs (including coffee). Less dependency, less worries. Anxiety will disappear, and social phobia will “wither away”. By the way, “calm only when drunk” is already bad. You will begin to think that it is impossible to overcome social phobia without chemical, nicotine, alcohol "crutches", you will become more dependent on booze and cigarettes;
love the relaxing massage. Social phobes often have their backs “pinched”. Those suffering from pathology are stooped, “hide” the neck inside the shoulders. Massage for social phobia is extremely useful.

Remember sports. Physical activity is a great way to send away emotional stress, reduce anxiety, and improve sleep. - serious problem.

Social phobia is a thief who steals the joy of communicating with others, makes you unsuccessful in life. Defeating pathology is real. Simple "life hacks", a qualified specialist will save you from an unpleasant problem.